Rant: Sex and the city

LivingInPeace said:
I don't blame him for doing only what he wants when he wants. He was comfortable with himself. He didn't tell Charlotte she had to convert. He didn't tell her make me this elaborate holiday meal when there's a game on tv he wanted to watch. She chose to do that in an effort to get chose as the old folks say.
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Not directly, but saying that he had to marry a Jew, (even though his mama was deceased), and her not being Jewish said everything that needed to be said.

Crackers Phinn said:
Here is why Charlotte ended up with a round Jew instead of a rectangle WASP. Charlotte was not built to compete for an unseasoned white husband in New York. Why? Because born and raised, NY dudes love women with the temperament of cats, whilst Charlotte has the temperament of a Jack Russell Terrier. This is why it was realistic that Miranda was the first of the crew to get and stay married and Samantha had dudes stalking her high mileage vagina. Second, men who leave places like New England (where Charlotte is from) to go be NY dudes are not looking for an Aryan from Darien cuz that's who they ran away from lobster country to get away from. Trey was a complete fluke from how they met to how they ended.
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Huh? I'm not understanding.
 
I still love watching the reruns.....and yes, as I've gotten older I've been able to spot the toxic relationships, connections, and lack of commitment from some of the characters. I used to think Samantha was so independent. Which she is. But when it came to commitment with men, she was definitely fearful. If anyone knows anything about attachment styles, you would know that Samantha and Big were avoidants. Their behavior makes sense now.

I also used to think Carrie and Big's on/off romance was cute when I was younger. NOW.....you couldn't pay me to think that relationship was worth it. But there's a lot of women who go through this type of relationship in real life with their men so it's not so out of ordinary.

I hated the Russian and was so mad when Carrie went to Paris. She tends to live in a fantasy world. Again, if you're familiar with attachment styles...Carrie is 100% anxious so her antics make sense now as an adult to me and why she was attracted to unavailable men....but got scared off from an emotionally healthy man (Aidan). Not saying the writers worked "attachment theory" into their writing back then, but it's interesting to see it play out with these characters in such a real way.

Overall, if I had to pick anyone for Carrie, it would be Aidan. But she would've self sabotaged that relationship even more.
I CAN'T WAIT for the reboot!
 
LivingInPeace said:
I don't blame him for doing only what he wants when he wants. He was comfortable with himself. He didn't tell Charlotte she had to convert. He didn't tell her make me this elaborate holiday meal when there's a game on tv he wanted to watch. She chose to do that in an effort to get chose as the old folks say.
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Oh sure. But that's my point. They aren't right for each other. He didn't tell her to make an elaborate meal but knew she was cooking it as it was a religious Holiday which he says he was taking seriously (he mentioned how important it was to him/his culture/religion). And he sure sat down to eat it.

Imagine it's Christmas/Hanukkah,etc (take your pick of Holidays) and you cooked and your kids and hubby said that they didn't ask you to and got up and did them or turned on the game in the middle of prayer? People know what's up. And as for him saying he didn't tell her to convert: when it was time to convert he gave her pointers on what to do to get the Rabbi's to say yes, so again he knew what was up. And again she was definitely doing the most trying to get chose. But if he wanted her he'd be over the moon happy to choose her. And he wasn't. So thus I guess my point is that's why I don't see them as this sweet successful match.

Still anyone can do them and most guys do without batting an eyelash. It's all about if they are compatible or not to me. But I guess this is the best match she has had so to a character/person like this Harry is mr. wonderful .



Crackers Phinn said:
In a nutshell, if Charlotte could have gotten another Trey, she would have. She got Harry cuz at 38 in NY, he is who she could pull. Watching the show after being on the other side of converting, she was ridiculously culturally insensitive in her approach to converting and more than a little out of pocket. But I still like her.
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Yes true, I guess. I also think she was tired of looking :rofl:..

I skipped over the culturally insensitive stuff because all of the women are insufferable that way. Remember Samantha dressing hip hop like when she was dating the black guy in the beginning? Even her way of talking changed. The show has so many screwed up insensitive things that on ww could think of while thinking they have it all together.
 
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awhyley said:
Not directly, but saying that he had to marry a Jew, (even though his mama was deceased), and her not being Jewish said everything that needed to be said.



Huh? I'm not understanding.
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Charlotte heard what he said and made some assumptions and moves that could have been a complete waste of time. I can't see it, but I actually have a relationship with the Son of God and I wouldn't trade it for a man. Charlotte's religion was obviously not important to her, so she was willing to jump through that hoop to get the ring.
 
Dposh167 said:
Overall, if I had to pick anyone for Carrie, it would be Aidan. But she would've self sabotaged that relationship even more.
I CAN'T WAIT for the reboot!
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Carrie would have ruined Aidan's life but he would have been better for her than big. Aidan was never going to be "BIG" enough for Carrie. I think Carrie was in love with the image of life with Big and what being chosen by big more than she ever really loved him. Big was Carrie's Moby Dick. She was never supposed to catch her white whale in the show but the HBO paying audience wanted that ship to sail with all the mess that came with it.
awhyley said:
Not directly, but saying that he had to marry a Jew, (even though his mama was deceased), and her not being Jewish said everything that needed to be said.
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If folks wasn't so some timey I would love to have a discussion about my observations of Jewish male dynamics but they ain't ready. Suffice it to say that, Jewish men have had it branded into their identity from 8 days old by both men and women in their community to marry a Jewish woman which is the only way they can make Jewish kids. The only cheat code they get is if a non Jew will convert.

So yep, Harry had to marry a Jew whether his mama was dead or not. The power of community guilt compelled him.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
Carrie would have ruined Aidan's life but he would have been better for her than big. Aidan was never going to be "BIG" enough for Carrie. I think Carrie was in love with the image of life with Big and what being chosen by big more than she ever really loved him. Big was Carrie's Moby Dick. She was never supposed to catch her white whale in the show but the HBO paying audience wanted that ship to sail with all the mess that came with it.

If folks wasn't so some timey I would love to have a discussion about my observations of Jewish male dynamics but they ain't ready. Suffice it to say that, Jewish men have had it branded into their identity from 8 days old by both men and women in their community to marry a Jewish woman which is the only way they can make Jewish kids. The only cheat code they get is if a non Jew will convert.

So yep, Harry had to marry a Jew whether his mama was dead or not. The power of community guilt compelled him.
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Forgive me for asking what's probably a stupid question but I don't get it. If you can choose to convert with no jewish background, why do both parents have to be jewish for the kids to be jewish? Is this based on a religious text or a cultural construct?
 
Black Ambrosia said:
Forgive me for asking what's probably a stupid question but I don't get it. If you can choose to convert with no jewish background, why do both parents have to be jewish for the kids to be jewish? Is this based on a religious text or a cultural construct?
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It's not both parents, it's the mother that has to be Jewish in order for the child to be Jewish. It is a cultural construct upheld by Jewish men because when Judaism was carried through the patrilineal line, droit du seigneur in Europe threatened Jewish existence. And while the wikipedia says droit du seigneur is a myth, I'm just going to say that white people got selective memory when it comes to raping and pillaging but I digress.

What keeps Jewish women a hot commodity is they got the trademark of Jewish kids stamped on their cooch. Conversion is not rocket science but it's work and a whole lot of women drop out of the running at the question let alone making the effort to become Jewish.
 
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LivingInPeace said:
Charlotte heard what he said and made some assumptions and moves that could have been a complete waste of time. I can't see it, but I actually have a relationship with the Son of God and I wouldn't trade it for a man. Charlotte's religion was obviously not important to her, so she was willing to jump through that hoop to get the ring.
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Definitely. She could have fallen flat on her face.

As for conversion:That was a writing thing too. The writers glossed over that like it was all about Christmas and an ornament that she will miss when they established early that religion was important to her. I think it was lazy writing. Or we can take it as another hoop she was willing to take (like all of them for their ideal guy)If the writers did it purposefully. I assumed they wanted to keep the show light as delving into leaving behind religious beliefs would be too complex.
 
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Crackers Phinn said:
It's not both parents, it's the mother that has to be Jewish in order for the child to be Jewish. It is a cultural construct upheld by Jewish men because when Judaism was carried through the patrilineal line, droit du seigneur in Europe threatened Jewish existence. And while the wikipedia says droit du seigneur is a myth, I'm just going to say that white people got selective memory when it comes to raping and pillaging but I digress.

What keeps Jewish women a hot commodity is they got the trademark of Jewish kids stamped on their cooch. Conversion is not rocket science but it's work and a whole lot of women drop out of the running at the question let alone making the effort to become Jewish.
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Conversion varies from orthodox to Reform though from what I understand speaking with a couple Reform Rabbis. Forgive if I misrepresent. And though Orthodox isn't relaxing its standards the other branches/ sects...well some are on things like Messianic Jews,etc so now one can convert but still believe in Jesus though not encouraged. Not to Orthodox of course but to some of the others...but I don't think HBO wanted to get into all of that. And I realize it's a bone of contention anyways.

I actually appreciate conversion aspects. Learning about culture is different than immersion so it is good that the community insists on really knowing what you're getting into. I like that it takes work. I like that three Rabbis (Beit Din) have to approve you and you have to go in a Mikvah after a long time of study and reflection. Forgive typos and corrects I am on my phone and it is acting up for some reason.
 
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So does anyone think the reboot might be a bad idea or take the air out of the show by pulling them out of the whole glamour into the light of 2021 :look: ? I hope not but I do think it will have to take a new approach. And we know Kim isn't in. What are they going to do to her character?
 
luckiestdestiny said:
So does anyone think the reboot might be a bad idea or take the air out of the show by pulling them out of the whole glamour into the light of 2021 :look: ? I hope not but I do think it will have to take a new approach. And we know Kim isn't in. What are they going to do to her character?
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I think it’ll be a drastically different show. I doubt they’ll kill her off. I’m guessing she’ll be a friend whose grown apart.
 
luckiestdestiny said:
Conversion varies from orthodox to Reform though from what I understand speaking with a couple Reform Rabbis. Forgive if I misrepresent. And though Orthodox isn't relaxing its standards the other branches/ sects...well some are on things like Messianic Jews,etc so now one can convert but still believe in Jesus though not encouraged. Not to Orthodox of course but to some of the others...but I don't think HBO wanted to get into all of that. And I realize it's a bone of contention anyways.

I actually appreciate conversion aspects. Learning about culture is different than immersion so it is good that the community insists on really knowing what you're getting into. I like that it takes work. I like that three Rabbis (Beit Din) have to approve you and you have to go in a Mikvah after a long time of study and reflection. Forgive typos and corrects I am on my phone and it is acting up for some reason.
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Messianic Jews (Jews for Jesus) are Christians. Jesus is non-negotiable so you'd be hard pressed to find a Rabbi within main stream Judaism claiming them. HBO wasn't going to get super nuanced because the average viewer didn't care, they just needed to move the story along. The HUGE no-no on the show was Charlotte telling the Rabbi that she was only converting so she could get married. That is the exact reason Rabbi's don't want converts.

luckiestdestiny said:
So does anyone think the reboot might be a bad idea or take the air out of the show by pulling them out of the whole glamour into the light of 2021 :look: ? I hope not but I do think it will have to take a new approach. And we know Kim isn't in. What are they going to do to her character?
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Reboots are always a bad idea, especially when you can't bring the whole cast back. Die hard fans will always support but it's never going to be the same.
 
luckiestdestiny said:

Their Place is her Apartment
Harry moved into HER place btw as she has a classic 6 in the upper east side (and that's a big deal moolah wisel). Remember the episode with the white and he's sitting butt naked on her chairs after they marry? How long is his money really? He's a lawyer in NYC yes and they make bank but maybe he's just living at a comfortable level.
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You know, this is a great point. Technically he's a bum living in HER apt. Bet he's been eying that apt for a long time too. Harry the hobosexual! :headspin:
 
Crackers Phinn said:
The cringiest Miranda scene besides a shahman publicly skeeting in her hair was when she told Steve nobody had ever been as deep insider her as Blair Underwoods character.
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I don't remember that. I thought the Blair Character said it to her to remind her of what she was missing. :giggle: . I mean if Steve put up with that : :dead: :lachen: . But hey Miranda is known for being bitter.
 
Dposh167 said:
I still love watching the reruns.....and yes, as I've gotten older I've been able to spot the toxic relationships, connections, and lack of commitment from some of the characters. I used to think Samantha was so independent. Which she is. But when it came to commitment with men, she was definitely fearful. If anyone knows anything about attachment styles, you would know that Samantha and Big were avoidants. Their behavior makes sense now.

I also used to think Carrie and Big's on/off romance was cute when I was younger. NOW.....you couldn't pay me to think that relationship was worth it. But there's a lot of women who go through this type of relationship in real life with their men so it's not so out of ordinary.

I hated the Russian and was so mad when Carrie went to Paris. She tends to live in a fantasy world. Again, if you're familiar with attachment styles...Carrie is 100% anxious so her antics make sense now as an adult to me and why she was attracted to unavailable men....but got scared off from an emotionally healthy man (Aidan). Not saying the writers worked "attachment theory" into their writing back then, but it's interesting to see it play out with these characters in such a real way.

Overall, if I had to pick anyone for Carrie, it would be Aidan. But she would've self sabotaged that relationship even more.
I CAN'T WAIT for the reboot!
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So what types are healthy types? What type seeks, gives, and receives in healthy living ways? I haven't read attachment theory.

Also what types would be food for Carrie and Big to stay on theme? Is it all about balance? Because you mentioned she received what she wanted (emotionally healthy) and ran for the hills...

I can't believe we are applying this type of stuff to a 20 plus yrs old show but hey it's a fun thread so why not go there? :lol:
 
Whimsicalgodess said:
Sorry long rant, but I had to get this off my chest!

So lately I’ve been watching sex and the city. I’ve rewatched it multiple times through out the years (usually after a break up).

this time around is different. The last time I watched it I wasn’t in a healthy long term relationship and I hadn’t gone through my self love journey yet.

with that being said, my goodness this show did not age well. Carrie’s relationship with Big was so toxic. She was so desperate and wouldn’t let their relationship grow organically. Freaked out over any little thing that went wrong. Charlotte wanted the perfect idea of a guy rather than who he truly was. Samantha had commitment issues and low self esteem. And Miranda found something wrong in every guy she dated. Even Steve, but he stuck around for her emotional abuse.

I can’t believe I ever watched this show hoping that it would give me clarity into what went wrong with any of my relationships. I used to be like Carrie when I was younger. But I grew up and learned from my mistakes. She was well into her 30’s still pulling this crap! She even told Miranda “I don’t act like myself when I’m with Big...what if he doesn’t like the real me” What?!?!?! “Then he doesn’t really like you and he’ll eventually leave because no one can act 24/7. You deserve a man who loves you for exactly who you are” But that advice wasn’t given.

Or things like Samantha saying we aren’t suppose to be human in front of men. I wish I would not fart or eat food in front of my boyfriend. How are you suppose to be with someone for multiple years and not be able to be yourself. That’s exhausting and everyone loses in that situation. It’s a partnership, you are not his second mother nor are you his sex slave/eye candy to parade around having to be “perfect” all the time.

sorry, rant over lol
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Girl, I loved that show for many years and bought a special order DVD set but the last time I rewatched it (2015), I was like, WTF is wrong with this stupid bi***ch????? Big and that entire relationship is toxic AF. Aidan is wholesome and healthy. And foine. You didn't want him but you had to go back and f*****k with his head a second time even though you know you want to be with a toxic man. Ok, done with that heifer Carrie.

Now Charlotte, that heifferrrrrrrrrrr needs Jesus. Her desperation is weird. Miranda was just....ugh, why did David want to be with her? She was always yelling and mad about something. Hmmm, yummy, verbal abuse. Give me more baby and let's get married. :mad:. Also, Blair Underwood vs Bland Bartender????? Excuse me??? I ain't throwing Blair away for no damn bartender.

The only person that still seemed fine to me was Samantha. But if I watch it again now, I will probably think she's a stupid heifer too. :lachen:. My rant is over too...OK bye

ETA - there's not enough space for my rant about Girlfriends.
 
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msbettyboop said:
was just....ugh, why did David want to be with her? She was always yelling and mad about something. Hmmm, yummy, verbal abuse. Give me more baby and let's get married. :mad:
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Temperament of a cat
34278165.jpg
 
luckiestdestiny said:
So what types are healthy types? What type seeks, gives, and receives in healthy living ways? I haven't read attachment theory.

Also what types would be food for Carrie and Big to stay on theme? Is it all about balance? Because you mentioned she received what she wanted (emotionally healthy) and ran for the hills...

I can't believe we are applying this type of stuff to a 20 plus yrs old show but hey it's a fun thread so why not go there? :lol:
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Healthy types are called "Secure''. They have a more healthier/secure emotional attachment to people. They don't scare away easily or withdraw when someone wants to get close to them (like Big/Samantha). And they are also able to respond to manipulation/poor treatment better by leaving the relationship or setting boundaries (unlike Carrie). The men off the top of my head who behaved more like a "secure" were Aidan, Smith...and possibly Harry.

According to attachment theory, Carrie would be better off with someone like Aidan who displays healthy support, emotional vulnerability, and reassurance. However, Carrie's attachment style (anxious) is studied to go after emotionally avoidant types like Big. They cling on to them like magnets and can sometimes reject "healthy relationships" because it feels abnormal to them. Which is why Carrie was so uncomfortable with Aidan treating her the right ....the way she always wanted....but ultimately self sabotaged.

Again, I know the writers did not write this in for the characters, but it's quite fascinating to be able to apply this to the show anyway.
 
luckiestdestiny said:
So does anyone think the reboot might be a bad idea or take the air out of the show by pulling them out of the whole glamour into the light of 2021 :look: ? I hope not but I do think it will have to take a new approach. And we know Kim isn't in. What are they going to do to her character?
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Black Ambrosia said:
I think it’ll be a drastically different show. I doubt they’ll kill her off. I’m guessing she’ll be a friend whose grown apart.
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As I said earlier, I'm not expecting much from this. They're not actually trying to bring the show back, it's just a 10 episode catch-up. Samantha's career will be rocking like it always is and they will explain her away, living some fabulous life in Europe or Asia somewhere. Probably a billionaire's girlfriend.

Other than the clothes, I'me excited to see how Charlotte and Miranda handle being mothers of teenagers! Oh, the horror! :lachen:
 
Dposh167 said:
Healthy types are called "Secure''. They have a more healthier/secure emotional attachment to people. They don't scare away easily or withdraw when someone wants to get close to them (like Big/Samantha). And they are also able to respond to manipulation/poor treatment better by leaving the relationship or setting boundaries (unlike Carrie). The men off the top of my head who behaved more like a "secure" were Aidan, Smith...and possibly Harry.

According to attachment theory, Carrie would be better off with someone like Aidan who displays healthy support, emotional vulnerability, and reassurance. However, Carrie's attachment style (anxious) is studied to go after emotionally avoidant types like Big. They cling on to them like magnets and can sometimes reject "healthy relationships" because it feels abnormal to them. Which is why Carrie was so uncomfortable with Aidan treating her the right ....the way she always wanted....but ultimately self sabotaged.

Again, I know the writers did not write this in for the characters, but it's quite fascinating to be able to apply this to the show anyway.
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Thanks for this.

What if they did? Hey who knows . It is a fun thought regardless of if we're just applying it for fun or it was intentional. It's always good to add layers to characters and this seems to help with that albeit a psychological slant but it still helps for writers (of anything) and of course in life (to know and identify annoying types :look: :giggle: ) .
 
MizAvalon said:
As I said earlier, I'm not expecting much from this. They're not actually trying to bring the show back, it's just a 10 episode catch-up. Samantha's career will be rocking like it always is and they will explain her away, living some fabulous life in Europe or Asia somewhere. Probably a billionaire's girlfriend.

Other than the clothes, I'me excited to see how Charlotte and Miranda handle being mothers of teenagers! Oh, the horror! :lachen:
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That makes sense. I would hope that they would make it good. I know you're not expecting much but I would think if they are going to resurrect the show they need to do it justice or else they will mess with the legacy. With 10 episodes I could see it going without Samantha. Any longer and I can see a catty writer putting her in an eat pray love position, somewhere where the wifi signal is foggy :giggle:so our "view" of Samantha is foggy along with her image, so too her voice. That way another actor can play her in quick cameos where the connection is never quite there just like Kim Kattrall/Samantha :giggle: :rofl: :look:


Naturally the connection lasts seconds via phone or computer and shorts leaving the others to write it off and skip on with their biz as usual.:rofl: :lachen:
 
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