raising the child of your man's AFFAIR? WOULD YOU?

[kurlybella]

would you help to raise the child or children of an affair your man had?

he cheated. you forgave him and he found out later she was preggers.

i say hell no, all day everyday. "you and the baby gots to go"

i for one don't think i would be able to forgive and forget cheating in the first place, so this would be hard for me.
forgive, yes, with time.
forget, not so much.
if he cheated and after all the blood tests for every disease in the book, i'd be too upset.
i'm too visual so if he wanted to have sex and ask me do do anything, i'd be like "so did you ask that **** to do that too?"
"did you do her this way, that way?"
i know me.



what about you? would you help to raise a child created out of his affair?

 

[MizzBrown]

There's a good few of us in here who are actually products of that affair. I wonder how that factor would come into play when making that decision.

 

[Miz_Complexity]

I would not resent the child because the child did not ask to be here. I would leave...I would not be able to trust him ever... there would always be questions in the back of my mind.... once a cheat always a cheat. If you had to step out on me then you are better off gone.....

 

[cutiebe2]

Our relationship would be over but I would expect him to pay CS for my child and his lovechild

I would allow my children to have a relationship with the love child (I think thats important) and I would be friendly with the kid. Like was said, it not the childs fault. And I don't want any child to feel hate in their lives..so I would try to show love (if I was even around them)

 

[sylver2]

My aunt did. They are still together kind of..and the child comes over from time to time. sigh..not the childs fault. She doesn't believe in divorce.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Couldn't do it!!! No way in H-E-L-L!. Him and the baby would have to hit the highway.

 

[Magnolia85]

Couldn't do it!!! No way in H-E-L-L!. Him and the baby would have to hit the highway.

My thoughts exactly!

 

[mrsmeredith]

I would forgive him and move on meaning, yes I would stay with him and help raise the kids. Yes its hard but hey the kids didn't have anything to do with it.

I am doing it now and the kids live with us and trust my dh to the upmost and I love the kids as my own.

 

[SqrpioQutie]

NO

i can't even vote in the poll cuz it doesn't have an option for me... for me, there's no forgiveness and moving on with the marriage if there's infidelity plus a baby in the picture... there is not that much trust in this world, past worlds or the next world for me to stay in that relationship...

 

[MzLady78]

NO

i can't even vote in the poll cuz it doesn't have an option for me... for me, there's no forgiveness and moving on with the marriage if there's infidelity plus a baby in the picture... there is not that much trust in this world, past worlds or the next world for me to stay in that relationship...

Umm, yeah.......ditto.......

 

[Shonni]

Hellz no, I was planning on leaving my ex-husband when the ***** he cheated with claimed she was preggers (I was preggers at the time also) turned out she was a lyin arse, but had the nerve to tell him that he betrayed her by getting me (his wife) preggers...I was like wtf?! I left anyways. So that tells you even though the ***** was not preggers by him, I still walked.



So again...hell no he and the love child gots to go

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

hell naw
and there would be no more man either.

 

[DayStar]

as much as i would love too be that strong...i dont think i could ...thats too much pain

 

[Princess Cherish]

HELL NO! I wouldn't even stay with him in the first place.

 

[TowsonGirl]

I would forgive him and move on meaning, yes I would stay with him and help raise the kids. Yes its hard but hey the kids didn't have anything to do with it.

I am doing it now and the kids live with us and trust my dh to the upmost and I love the kids as my own.

So your husband had more than one kid on the side?? wow, ur way better than me because i woulda beat my husband to kingdom come and THEN left him..true the kids arent to blame, but the man should be held accountable for his actions..having a kid outside of marriage is the utmost disrespect i think a man can do. Not only is he cheating, but he is also sticking another woman with no hard hat (YUCK), while being with you as well. So he is showing that he does not give two figs about your (or his) health! ..not to mention the fact that the child serves as a public notice to everyone that the husband cheated on the wife...

whew, this is gettin me worked up! i hope i never encounter this type of situation when i get married, because i probably would end up in jail.

 

[Farida]

I think it would be extremely difficult. I would say no. If I stayed with my husband after an affair, the only way our relationship would heal is for him to cut off all contact with the woman he cheated with. If he is sharing custody with her, then the two of them will always have to have contact.

Now, if the woman was dead, or a deadbeat who got legally stripped of her custody, or abdicated her legal custody, then maybe I would consider it.

I must add, that I would not respect a man who would not raise his child, affair or not.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

It would take alot of prayer on my part...ALOT of prayer...

But it's not the child's fault. I have a soft spot for kids and would probably grow to love him/her like they were my own.

 

[MzLady78]

as much as i would love too be that strong...i dont think i could ...thats too much pain

I don't think being strong has anything to do with it.

 

[Much2much41]

Absolutely, positively NOT. I wish I WOULD contend w/that kind of nonsense

 

[SqrpioQutie]

I don't think being strong has anything to do with it.

yeah... strong, for me, would be doing what i needed to do to keep myself (dignity, sanity, etc) intact.... staying in a situation like that would be weak for me, confirming to my husband that i can't go off and do for myself without him no matter how badly he treated me...

 

[Mortons]

How about NO! But my regards to your lovely family

 

[Bint Yusef]

No, a man who would cheat AND make a side baby is no man of mine. Him and that child are both out the door. Our values simply arent compatible if he cant control himself enough to not do that. That is a no compromise situation, divorce immediately.

 

[sylver2]

So your husband had more than one kid on the side?? wow, ur way better than me because i woulda beat my husband to kingdom come and THEN left him..true the kids arent to blame, but the man should be held accountable for his actions..having a kid outside of marriage is the utmost disrespect i think a man can do. Not only is he cheating, but he is also sticking another woman with no hard hat (YUCK), while being with you as well. So he is showing that he does not give two figs about your (or his) health! ..not to mention the fact that the child serves as a public notice to everyone that the husband cheated on the wife...

whew, this is gettin me worked up! i hope i never encounter this type of situation when i get married, because i probably would end up in jail.

yup...ITA.

 

[Tee]

It would take alot of prayer on my part...ALOT of prayer...

But it's not the child's fault. I have a soft spot for kids and would probably grow to love him/her like they were my own.

I agree. And a LOT of prayer!!!

 

[Mrs. Verde]

I think it would be extremely difficult. I would say no. If I stayed with my husband after an affair, the only way our relationship would heal is for him to cut off all contact with the woman he cheated with. If he is sharing custody with her, then the two of them will always have to have contact.

Now, if the woman was dead, or a deadbeat who got legally stripped of her custody, or abdicated her legal custody, then maybe I would consider it.

I must add, that I would not respect a man who would not raise his child, affair or not.

ITA. If I stayed, it would be extremely difficult for me not to resent the kid. Yes, it's not the kids fault, but I would not want a constant reminder of the affair in my face either.

 

[Lebiya]

Ha!
Both child and man will be out the door. This question actually made me chuckle a bit because I most likely would not stay with my husband if he cheated, muchless raise his child, that's insane. I'm not that kind of woman.

 

[prettypuff1]

Ha!
Both child and man will be out the door. This question actually made me chuckle a bit because I most likely would not stay with my husband if he cheated, muchless raise his child, that's insane. I'm not that kind of woman.

Me either and I am not ashamed to say it. I believe you teach ppl how to treat you and this to me says " its ok i will forgive no matter what" I am not cool with that.


There is no way I am getting over you being with another woman behind my back and lying about it and doing it with no hard hat. I couldnt respect him. No friggin way

 

[firecracker]

If the mother dies while the seed was young and I could get a ssi check for the love child, hey sure.

 

[TowsonGirl]

If the mother dies while the seed was young and I could get a ssi check for the love child, hey sure.

heyyy, u may be on to something! j/k

 

[Honey6928215]

HELL TO THA NAW!!! If I have done that he would have left me in a heartbeat. Therefore, I couldn't stay with him knowing what he did and have to see the child which will remind me of how he/she came about. Don't get me wrong I will not blame the child because it's not their fault because two adults chose to knock boots. I will tell hubby to look out for the divorce papers because I can't deal with the child's mother.