The Argument Of Child Support

[RoundEyedGirl504]

People like this base their "feelings" on CS on the 1% of chicks who get knocked up by men with money. Most men, definitely black ones, the woman is lucky to get $200/month. Ain't nobody balling off of that LOL! TFN ish, looking at the exception to the rule as the standard.

 

[lesedi]

It really bugs me how many people want black children to go without just to punish what they regard as 'loose women'. Listen we get it, everyone needs to be more cautious about who they procreate with etc, but what does that have to do with seeking out CS for children? Were they not made by two people?

Real talk, I think a lot of this is about some women needing to feel superior to other women.

And I say this as someone whose child's father doesnt even pay support lol. (He is an extreme narcissist and used the money to torture and torment me and my mental health is too important. I need no contact)

 

[meka72]

I have one particular issue with the way child support is set up. I will update later after I think on it but this one really bothers me.

I don't think men should have to pay for children that are not theirs if it is proven that the mother has deceived them about paternity. This includes children being born within a marriage or out of wedlock unless they willingly choose to. I know several married men that have been victims and it has devastated them. First they find out the child/children are not theirs and then they get but the court system because the children were born within the marriage therefore the children are considered his by law.

I agree with you but wanted to add that this isn't true for every state. I know two men (in two different states) that have been in that situation (including my daughter's father) and neither were considered the fathers after blood testing and divorce proceedings.

 

[Thump]

I agree with you but wanted to add that this isn't true for every state. I know two men (in two different states) that have been in that situation (including my daughter's father) and neither were considered the fathers after blood testing and divorce proceedings.

That's good to know, thank you for the heads up

 

[Ms_Delikate]

I receive child support as part of my divorce decree. I wish someone would tell me I have to give an account for how the money is spent. It's a fairly significant amount too. People kill me with that bull.

 

[meka72]

That's good to know, thank you for the heads up

No problem!

My daughter's stepmother #1 even named her child after her estranged husband/my daughter's dad in hopes of getting child support because they were married. It didn't work.

 

[Bun Mistress]

Men are just becoming bums more and more. Married or single. I think its because society is letting them. We put man on a pedalstool for doing what they should be doing.

I am a SMBC, with my second one due literally anyday now...and I have to say I am kinda happy I don't have to deal with it. I honestly have nothing to say to a dead beat dad. Or deadbeat mother.

My friends, have dead beat husbands, my male friends are crap dads, I have family with dead beat fathers to their children. Its sad really.

I agree with some of the people above. If we didn't have CS I don't think many of the men paying today would pay. And the men whining. Please please please take over the custodial care of your children. I am sure you will change your mind in a day but you need to keep them a year so you really learn your lesson.

And as a parent I am not saying that have a child is a chore or a something to be anything but celebrae (please don't take that to a place that is doesn't need to go people) but its also work, and lost sleep, lost overtime, maybe even lost career gains because you are the parent that has to do it all.

To me this is just another way to shame women that are singe parents. Well they didn't get that way by themselves so let's all stop pretending that he isn't responsible for lie. No not 18 years. Life.

 

[GraceJones]

It really bugs me how many people want black children to go without just to punish what they regard as 'loose women'. Listen we get it, everyone needs to be more cautious about who they procreate with etc, but what does that have to do with seeking out CS for children? Were they not made by two people?

Real talk, I think a lot of this is about some women needing to feel superior to other women.

And I say this as someone whose child's father doesnt even pay support lol. (He is an extreme narcissist and used the money to torture and torment me and my mental health is too important. I need no contact)

But he's not even talking about "loose" women. He's talking about ex wives lmao

That's basically his family.

How with the bolded?

 

[lesedi]

But he's not even talking about "loose" women. He's talking about ex wives lmao

That's basically his family.

How with the bolded?

I'm talking about women who share his views with regards to the 'loose women' comment.

Men like your friend see women as possessions. He feels like since he no longer has access to her vagina that his responsibility towards the child they share should lessen, if not cease completely. They want to punish the woman by controlling them, no matter the impact on the child they purport to love. I know most will never say this but their behaviour does it for them.

You say he regards his ex wives as family, I strongly disagree. You don't treat family that way.

With regards to women who feel superior to single mothers, I think it is quite obvious.

 

[Dee-Licious]

A lot of women fight over him, ironically enough.

I thought he was married. He's just more ain't **ish** by the response.

 

[Dee-Licious]

Men are just becoming bums more and more. Married or single. I think its because society is letting them. We put man on a pedalstool for doing what they should be doing.

I am a SMBC, with my second one due literally anyday now...and I have to say I am kinda happy I don't have to deal with it. I honestly have nothing to say to a dead beat dad. Or deadbeat mother.

My friends, have dead beat husbands, my male friends are crap dads, I have family with dead beat fathers to their children. Its sad really.

I agree with some of the people above. If we didn't have CS I don't think many of the men paying today would pay. And the men whining. Please please please take over the custodial care of your children. I am sure you will change your mind in a day but you need to keep them a year so you really learn your lesson.

And as a parent I am not saying that have a child is a chore or a something to be anything but celebrae (please don't take that to a place that is doesn't need to go people) but its also work, and lost sleep, lost overtime, maybe even lost career gains because you are the parent that has to do it all.

To me this is just another way to shame women that are singe parents. Well they didn't get that way by themselves so let's all stop pretending that he isn't responsible for lie. No not 18 years. Life.

Does that mean "single mother by choice"? That's what I'm guessing.
If you don't mind me asking, how old is your first child (like generally age of knowing about your choice or not) and do you go the sperm donor route?
You're the first person I've met/read that has actually done SMBC and not just said they might one day.

 

[GraceJones]

I'm talking about women who share his views with regards to the 'loose women' comment.

Men like your friend see women as possessions. He feels like since he no longer has access to her vagina that his responsibility towards the child they share should lessen, if not cease completely. They want to punish the woman by controlling them, no matter the impact on the child they purport to love. I know most will never say this but their behaviour does it for them.

You say he regards his ex wives as family, I strongly disagree. You don't treat family that way.

With regards to women who feel superior to single mothers, I think it is quite obvious.

It's funny because he regards himself as someone who uplifts women, but he does a lot of things I don't really like towards women. He's not my man so it's not really my problem...


No I'm saying that. He didn't say that

 

[larry3344]

I work in a child support office enforcing court orders. Both men and women can let their bitterness overshadow the purpose of child support.


And yes there are women expecting child support to cover every single expense who make unreasonable demands. And there are men who refuse to fulfill their financial obligations.

And if the roles wer reversed I am not convinced that women would fare much better in terms of.paying support. No one likes to have their.cheque cut in half even for their own child.

I have seen several Women support payers who clearly have the money who we have to chase. So my feelings are more egalitarian on this subject.

 

[GraceJones]

I work in a child support office enforcing court orders. Both men and women can let their bitterness overshadow the purpose of child support.


And yes there are women expecting child support to cover every single expense who make unreasonable demands. And there are men who refuse to fulfill their financial obligations.

And if the roles wer reversed I am not convinced that women would fare much better in terms of.paying support. No one likes to have their.cheque cut in half even for their own child.

I have seen several Women support payers who clearly have the money who we have to chase. So my feelings are more egalitarian on this subject.

Your own flesh and blood. Petty, petty, petty.

Why don't people like kids? Damn.

 

[intellectualuva]

Dude in OP is sorry. I do know some men who hate the idea of the courts being involved when they support their ex wives/gf and children(as in pays house bills and all expenses related to the children), but it can be cleaner for some.

Those stories are the minority and overwhelmingly these stories are about ain't ish men who don't see their kids except on Fathers Day for photos showing up with Jordan sneakers that the baby doesn't need.

 

[Theresamonet]

Are you the same poster with the friend who doesn't believe in alimony? Is this the same guy?

 

[Bun Mistress]

Does that mean "single mother by choice"? That's what I'm guessing.
If you don't mind me asking, how old is your first child (like generally age of knowing about your choice or not) and do you go the sperm donor route?
You're the first person I've met/read that has actually done SMBC and not just said they might one day.

My oldest (son) will be 2 next month. I had a sperm donor, same lot for both.

 

[GraceJones]

Are you the same poster with the friend who doesn't believe in alimony? Is this the same guy?

Yes girl. It's him.

It's interesting because women be FIGHTING for him. Like going hard. I'm wondering, is it because they really don't know his ideas on family or is it that they don't care.

I like him as a friend but it's scary to know there are men like that out there.

 

[lesedi]

My oldest (son) will be 2 next month. I had a sperm donor, same lot for both.

I have so many questions. I haven't met someone who has gone through the process. It's not something that I would consider myself but I'm curious to hear more. Do you mind me asking how old you were when you decided to go this route?

 

[hothair]

I don't even get the convo. You don't want to pay child support use protection duh.

I would cut dude off with a quickness

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Yes girl. It's him.

It's interesting because women be FIGHTING for him. Like going hard. I'm wondering, is it because they really don't know his ideas on family or is it that they don't care.

I like him as a friend but it's scary to know there are men like that out there.

How are these women fighting over a married man...?

ETA: And what makes him such a good friend?

 

[GraceJones]

How are these women fighting over a married man...?

Not married but he has a long term spouse. I don't wanna post too much because someone on here might know him and tell him I'm talking about him lol

Girl, women are just... We don't want to be be happy. That's why they fight over him

 

[intellectualuva]

Spouse???

*walks out*

 

[beingofserenity]

I'm glad I'm in control of whether I have children or not.

Use birth control

 

[swtpea]

I have several issues with how child support is set up in most states, but I don't have an issue with the theory or concept behind child support. I think both parent share a financial responsibility for the child.

One thing I've never understood is why there isn't a standard child support rate per child. The needs of a child don't change per a parent's income, nor change as a man has more children. The way it is currently set up, a man pays a percentage of his gross income, but the percentage (at least in my state) decreases as the man has more kids. For instance, first kid is 30%, second is 25%, third plus is 20%, I believe. So the 3rd child should receive less support because of birth order? That's illogical.

As far as basing it off a man's income, that also seems inaccurate. I know some men who make pennies and pay $200/month in child support. Yes, $200. That is crazy. Regardless of income, the expense of raising a child doesn't change. I think the child support should be a standard amount, like $1,500/month (I don't have a kid so I'm not sure how reasonable this amount is). There are plenty of studies that show the average cost of raising a child. I think it should be based off that.

Then, to address the OP friend's point, having a set value would also address situations where women get windfalls in child support, which essentially becomes baby mama support, shopping habit support, etc...To account for the lifestyle that a child would assume if they lived in a dual income household, it would be reasonable to make the non custodial parent pay the set amount plus a percentage, like 5-10% of gross income , in addition to that set amount.

Having set child support amounts would make men and women think twice, in my non-child having opinion lol.

 

[Covagirlm]

Not married but he has a long term spouse. I don't wanna post too much because someone on here might know him and tell him I'm talking about him lol

Girl, women are just... We don't want to be be happy. That's why they fight over him

aint no spouse if he's not married that woman is just his good friend

 

[ladysaraii]

Not married but he has a long term spouse. I don't wanna post too much because someone on here might know him and tell him I'm talking about him lol

Girl, women are just... We don't want to be be happy. That's why they fight over him

Spouse or SO?

 

[ladysaraii]

I have several issues with how child support is set up in most states, but I don't have an issue with the theory or concept behind child support. I think both parent share a financial responsibility for the child.

One thing I've never understood is why there isn't a standard child support rate per child. The needs of a child don't change per a parent's income, nor change as a man has more children. The way it is currently set up, a man pays a percentage of his gross income, but the percentage (at least in my state) decreases as the man has more kids. For instance, first kid is 30%, second is 25%, third plus is 20%, I believe. So the 3rd child should receive less support because of birth order? That's illogical.

As far as basing it off a man's income, that also seems inaccurate. I know some men who make pennies and pay $200/month in child support. Yes, $200. That is crazy. Regardless of income, the expense of raising a child doesn't change. I think the child support should be a standard amount, like $1,500/month (I don't have a kid so I'm not sure how reasonable this amount is). There are plenty of studies that show the average cost of raising a child. I think it should be based off that.

Then, to address the OP friend's point, having a set value would also address situations where women get windfalls in child support, which essentially becomes baby mama support, shopping habit support, etc...To account for the lifestyle that a child would assume if they lived in a dual income household, it would be reasonable to make the non custodial parent pay the set amount plus a percentage, like 5-10% of gross income , in addition to that set amount.

Having set child support amounts would make men and women think twice, in my non-child having opinion lol.

If losing 30% or more of your income doesn't make people think, a set amount won't either

 

[swtpea]

If losing 30% or more of your income doesn't make people think, a set amount won't either

That is probably true. I guess I hold out hope for that men who essentially are gaming the system by having one low paying legit job that that his child support is based off of would rethink things if he knew it didn't matter what job he had or didn't have, he would still owe "x" amount of money for the child.

I also think it would make some women think twice too, especially the ones who go after pro athletes and such with the sole purpose of getting pregnant and being set for life. If she knew she'd only receive "x" amount for the child instead of an essentially unlimited amount then maybe that would deter her.

As I'm typing I'm seeing some flaws in my child support reforment plan. I think my proposed plan would probably encourage some folks, both men and women, to make single parent babies.

Oh well, not my issue. Let me take my birth control.

 

[Dee-Licious]

aint no spouse if he's not married that woman is just his good friend

I was reading that like what in the helllll?!?!