Open Relationships

Would you participate in an open relationship?

  • Yes...but only if it's mutual

    Votes: 7 7.4%

  • NO...over my dead body

    Votes: 69 73.4%

  • Maybe?

    Votes: 18 19.1%
  • Total voters
    94
MizAvalon said:
Wow, how does she continually get away with that? Doesn't the husband ever ask to see pictures of the trips or ask the bestie(if he knows her) about things they did while they were away?

That is really risky. :nono:
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he doesnt do social media and her besties all know when they are being used as a cover. It's a very intricate and it has been going on for yrs and yrs. One yr the boyfriend paid for a very lavish birthday party for her. A 5 star dinner for a bunch friends, limo, dessert bar, VIP at a night club, bottle service... the whole 9. Then I look over and he and his boys are in the section right next to us! She told her Dh that the party was a girls only night out hosted by her besties.
 
open relationships got corny after the initial buzz. now its nothing but pretentious dudes that are not as smart as they think they are and their low self esteem having girlfriend who thinks its better for her to know about his cheating than for him to do it behind her back. there is not a single open relationship ive ever seen that did not have that dynamic, including a couple of open marriages.

that being said, my last relationship started out "open" in the sense that we were seeing each other but he knew i was seeing other people. eventually he demanded that the relationship between us be "closed." it was beyond clear to me that the entire point of having the relationship "open" was because i was getting all of the benefits of a boyfriend while still having the freedom to look for someone better. i would never want that kind of dynamic if i were seeing someone that i really wanted.
 
Femmefatal1981 said:
he doesnt do social media and her besties all know when they are being used as a cover. It's a very intricate and it has been going on for yrs and yrs. One yr the boyfriend paid for a very lavish birthday party for her. A 5 star dinner for a bunch friends, limo, dessert bar, VIP at a night club, bottle service... the whole 9. Then I look over and he and his boys are in the section right next to us! She told her Dh that the party was a girls only night out hosted by her besties.
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She's as bad as my girl's MIL. She parades around with her SO all the time. Even bought her to the hospital at the birth. She just went on vacay with her daughter and SO recently too. I don't know what rock her husband and son are sleeping under. It's been +30 years so I guess she feels like she earned her right to do whatever

People are so bold and shameless!
 
I know of two people in open marriages. One is a guy and he and his wife are both fat and ugly with like 6 kids. I have no idea who they are bringing into their bedroom but they do find people and they have this sexually free relationship. They have been married for years.

The other couple is big too. She sleeps with other men. At times in front of him. He is big with diabetes and some other health issues. He can't even get hard because of all the medication he is on. She also "creeps" with others and he does as well. She just got lap band surgery and plans to divorce him.
 
tru4reele said:
I know of two people in open marriages. One is a guy and he and his wife are both fat and ugly with like 6 kids. I have no idea who they are bringing into their bedroom but they do find people and they have this sexually free relationship. They have been married for years.

The other couple is big too. She sleeps with other men. At times in front of him. He is big with diabetes and some other health issues. He can't even get hard because of all the medication he is on. She also "creeps" with others and he does as well. She just got lap band surgery and plans to divorce him.
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I'm sorry but this post made me LOL! :rofl:
 
I agree with Barbie that there are a lot of "we have an understanding" marriages in general and that might be open relationships, solo porn time, regular side piece, etc.

I also agree with @SmileyNY that they're probably not marriages between two healthy people. Could be low self esteem but also a need for the security of a partner or status or $$$, fear of committing to one person, attachment issues, etc.

The people I know in these types of relationships are just resigned that this is their life or who they are and there's always a little sadness in that even when they are the ones pushing for the openness
 
Interesting that people are assuming that in open rlshps folks are roaming wild and free. Some folks simply have 2 bf's or two gf's.

I knew a guy who had 2 gf's but lived with one. The one who lived on her own left him. It was a regular type of break up with the boo hooing and all. After that he chose to commit to just one woman. He wasn't interested in "cheating" either.

Anyway. I do believe that polyamourous rlshps could work but are rare since humans have a really hard time keeping their egos in check.
 
i think yall are overlooking the people who just never found the one they really wanted and arent exactly satisfied with settling for the one they found. thats what most open relationships look like to me. one partner isnt fully satisfied with the other and is seeking whatever that person is lacking on the outside. i dont think theres anything pathological in that except in the case where its a person that is never going to be happy with anyone no matter what they do or dont have/who they are and are not as a partner.

when people claim to love their partner above all others but still want the relationship open to me that says theres a problem emotionally going on with that person. youre lying to yourself if youre saying your partner is everything you want but you still want the newness of sexual randomness.
 
Supeervixen said:
Porn room!!! Not like a man cave that man has porn in it?!?! I'm not doubting you, it just seems like he's truly dedicated to porn. But, does that make an open relationship too?
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I guess you could call it a man cave...that's all about porn...:lol:. I haven't seen it and the wife says she avoids it.

It's not an open relationship per se, but if someone is spending a lot of time getting off with porn stars it might be some type of "relationship".
 
barbiesocialite said:
She's as bad as my girl's MIL. She parades around with her SO all the time. Even bought her to the hospital at the birth. She just went on vacay with her daughter and SO recently too. I don't know what rock her husband and son are sleeping under. It's been +30 years so I guess she feels like she earned her right to do whatever

People are so bold and shameless!
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shameless is the right word for sure.
 
CaraWalker said:
i think yall are overlooking the people who just never found the one they really wanted and arent exactly satisfied with settling for the one they found. thats what most open relationships look like to me. one partner isnt fully satisfied with the other and is seeking whatever that person is lacking on the outside. i dont think theres anything pathological in that except in the case where its a person that is never going to be happy with anyone no matter what they do or dont have/who they are and are not as a partner.

when people claim to love their partner above all others but still want the relationship open to me that says theres a problem emotionally going on with that person. youre lying to yourself if youre saying your partner is everything you want but you still want the newness of sexual randomness.
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To me, this situation is a form of insecurity as well. They aren't secure enough to just be satisfied with being single until they find the one. They need the facade of a "relationship" to convince themselves and/or others that they are desirable and wanted.
 
SmileyNY said:
To me, this situation is a form of insecurity as well. They aren't secure enough to just be satisfied with being single until they find the one. They need the facade of a "relationship" to trick themselves and/or others into thinking they are desirable and wanted.
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its not about being secure in being single. i really hate when people have this concept of relationships, its childish to me. you are criticizing a form of relationships when your concept of relationships relies on things like being validated and being insecure and feeling desired or not.

people get into relationships for functional/practical reasons. i dont even have the energy for this way of thinking.
 
CaraWalker said:
its not about being secure in being single. i really hate when people have this concept of relationships, its childish to me. you are criticizing a form of relationships when your concept of relationships relies on things like being validated and being insecure and feeling desired or not.

people get into relationships for functional/practical reasons. i dont even have the energy for this way of thinking.
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Wow. Well, that struck a chord with someone :look:
 
CafedeBelleza said:
I was in one in college. Open doesn't have to mean different sexual partners. For me I had my main- who was safe and verified :look: and other guys I entertained myself with.

Also I think more people are in emotionally open relationships that anything else.
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^this is the set up i prefer, but i dont really consider it open because the main relationship is not "committed." going by this definition ive been in various long term open relationships the last few years including right now :lol:

people who live together unmarried and are in open relationships are lying to themselves.
 
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