I just find it sooooo funny how if a black men says he does not date a black women everybody is so understanding about why. But, if I tell a black man that I am not attracted to black guys, they are just all up in arms, talking about it is only natural for a black women to be with a black man crap. Let me tell you something: I am not about to wait for a black man to like me, this is 2009. I say mix it up. I mean, not all black men feel this way, but this is a general consensus about black women. And quite frankly I'm tired of hearing about it. I don't have an attitude all the time, I am very catering to someone who deserves it,and I am not a golddigger in any way shape or form. And before they start saying all black women are golddigers they need to look at those golddigging groupies at hip hop concerts, athletic games, and those dating shows(Flavor of love, For the love of Ray J, Rock of love) gold digging comes in all colors. If you are not attracted to someone you don't have to justify it. At this point WHO FREAKIN CARES!!! Do you... And don't feel compelled to write a book about it.
Top 10 reasons why Black men....
- Thread starter moonglowdiva
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Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
That list is stupid.
You did okay.
And you were just sharing. But nothing sets off a Black Woman more than to be given a Black Man's rejection list.
No one, not even Black Men, White Men, White Women, wants to give rejection the time of day. Lists like these, are a slap in the face to anyone that it's directed to. I need to put up the White Man's list for White Women. Because they are sure up in Black Women's faces big time. And they want to be there, with us. I love it. I still love my Black men, but I love the White Man overflow that I'm getting as well. I just love men, period .
Keep sharing Moonglowdiva...
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Country gal
Well-Known Member
How can a man who has never met me tell me what the problem is? It is blanket generalizations. The board already has enough of them. I can't tell you what threads to start. Your post is the general black woman is the blame of the world type posts. How come I never see a Top ten reasons why black men can't get a woman?
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Highly Favored8
Well-Known Member
What was that a docu./movie "Diary of tired Black man" some was true some was false. However, the problem with the person who lists the 10 "reasons" fails to realize you cannot lump all black women together.=/
Maybe you should start one. However, it's BECAUSE, Black women are too classy to tear down our men. If nothing else we are the strongest support system that they have or ever will have going for them.
I think that it 'de-balls' them to admit that they could not have survived without the strength of us. Afterall, they're still living to make stupid lists like this.
Not all Black men have this negative view of Black women. There are only the simple 'few' who write stupid things like this.
LiberianGirl
Well-Known Member
This list does not apply to me nor many of the women on this forum, therefore it's not going to help with the "problem".
Oh really?
erplexed
Lebiya
Well-Known Member
However, it's BECAUSE, Black women are too classy to tear down our men. If nothing else we are the strongest support system that they have or ever will have going for them.
.
Girl who you lyin too…lol
Black women do it all day too…the only difference is that they make sure to have dinner fixed at 6p, after the complaining stops.
Black men on the other hand just leave and don’t look back. Good choice ..or FARR better than complaining
I don't do that....
Girl, you know that Black men know that they can't live without us. Not all of them are 'Wesley Snipes'...
GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I
New Member
Listed below are the top 10 out of 50 reasons why Black men find it hard to date Black women:
1. Black women make black men feel under appreciated, unwarranted and irresponsible and regressive.
Well, gosh, if they actually ARE irresponsible and regressive, why feel it's our fault? Hmm, any psychologists aboard? LOL
2. Black women are too aggressive and no longer patient in waiting on the pursuit of a man.
This is not a Victorian Age. If you wish to have coffee with me, then meet me at Starbucks 7pm, tomorrow. Otherwise, shut up and stop complaining that I'm independent and know what I want
3. Black women are strong headed, too independent which presents great challenges in relationships.
Slap my pappy for educating me to be in control of my life! I think I'm gonna have to find a white man so he's not so challenged.
4. Black women are masculine in that they are controlling and like to run the relationship.
Awww, I know you have small penis syndrome which has largely affected your brain. Sorry, this is going to be a partnership or no go.
5. Black women expect too much. They are gold diggers who will not look twice at a blue collar black man.
I expect a man to actually come home to his wife after work and eat dinner with the family? Geez, I thought that since I have a graduate degree, I'd go looking for a compatible and like-minded and educated mate. I'm sowwwy.
6. Black women are hot headed and have bad attitudes.
You know, you're right about that one. I hold my head high in public when I pass you catcalling on the street.
7. Black women stop caring about their appearance after a certain age.
Must be something new that I've not noticed. When you can scratch your balls in the living room, I can wear phat farm sweats.
8. Black women are not as sexually open as other races, especially in regards to oral sex.
You know, masturbation is a mortal sin. Be a man, use your hand.
9. Black women's tolerance is far too low; they are no longer empathetic to the black man's struggle in white America.
Poor wittle baby-man! The white man keeps you from getting an edumacation and holding onto a wee wittle job? Next!
10. Black women do not cater to their men.
Absolutely true. I thought Black women were WOMEN and equal partners. Hmm, they want a slave servant? Asian women...but beware, they are only frontingThey get beetchy too.
Thanks OP for this great laugh!
kbody4
New Member
GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I
New Member
BroadstreetBully
New Member
I think someone posted a photo of the guy who compiled this list years ago on some site. Let's just say...not my type.
Who has time to think about why they don't date a type of woman? Seems like the type of man who doesn't have a lot of women interested in him period. Otherwise, he'd be out on dates or something instead of compiling 50 reasons why he doesn't want a black woman who probably doesn't want him either.
I can picture it now. Some 5'4 black male approaches me on the street and starts listing off the 50 reasons he wouldn't give me the time of day
. I'd be like, dude, I just got hit on 10 times in the last 3 days. I guess black men and a few others didn't get the memo! Now go on somewhere and sit down. 
nappytherapy
Active Member
I have 3 words.....Barack & Michelle Obama.
moonglowdiva
New Member
As I stated in the OP, this was not to anger any of you however many of you posted in your anger. I would have rather no one post then recieve a lot of closed mindedness. Now having said that I just wonder why "black men" say these things. It really saddens me how black men perceive me as a black woman. But to those you you how don't care it tells me a lot about your character. Character is everything. But the same token, I could find 100 things that are wrong with black men starting with the fact that most are under educated, unemployed, in prison or dead. But to the few that are actually educated and employed they often seek companionship from women of other races. Think professional sports. Many of the men in those category choose women from other races. I question everything. I read everything.
BTW for all of you that profess to be "doing the rules" look at @2 and go back an reread the book all over again. I think they kinda correlate.
Let me stop here because I really hate confrontation and I rarely start a thread unless I have something to say. With that being said, I pray that you are bless but I'm through with the matter.
BTW for all of you that profess to be "doing the rules" look at @2 and go back an reread the book all over again. I think they kinda correlate.
Let me stop here because I really hate confrontation and I rarely start a thread unless I have something to say. With that being said, I pray that you are bless but I'm through with the matter.
AnnDriena_
New Member
As I stated in the OP, this was not to anger any of you
Posting a list of our supposed shortcomings is not something that seems to have been done in love.
however many of you posted in your anger. I would have rather no one post then recieve a lot of closed mindedness.
Disagreeing with you is not close minded. And if you want tailor made responses you'll just have to go elsewhere because this is not the board for it. Or better yet when you post this kind of garbage tell us what kind of response were supposed to have and we'll see if we can accomodate you.
Now having said that I just wonder why "black men" say these things. It really saddens me how black men perceive me as a black woman. But to those you you how don't care it tells me a lot about your character.
What does it say about my character? Please tell me.
Character is everything. But the same token, I could find 100 things that are wrong with black men starting with the fact that most are under educated, unemployed, in prison or dead. But to the few that are actually educated and employed they often seek companionship from women of other races. Think professional sports. Many of the men in those category choose women from other races. I question everything. I read everything.
BTW for all of you that profess to be "doing the rules" look at @2 and go back an reread the book all over again. I think they kinda correlate.
Let me stop here because I really hate confrontation
Doesn't seem like it.
and I rarely start a thread unless I have something to say. With that being said, I pray that you are bless but I'm through with the matter.
We are blessed and we would be more blessed with less of this mess. We get it from the world we don't need it from you.
AnnDriena_
New Member
Listed below are the top 10 out of 50 reasons why Black men find it hard to date Black women:
1. Black women make black men feel under appreciated, unwarranted and irresponsible and regressive.
2. Black women are too aggressive and no longer patient in waiting on the pursuit of a man.
Because we know from the experience of too many unmarried black women that these men are not showing up. We have to go out and see what the hell is holding them up. Like when you know yo' cousin and 'em posed' to show up and they a lil' late.
3. Black women are strong headed, too independent which presents great challenges in relationships.
Somebody has to be strong headed in the relationship. After all most black children are being raised by single women. And as for being independent I don't look at that as a negative and I reiterate another poster. If you are dependable I don't have to be too independent.
4. Black women are masculine in that they are controlling and like to run the relationship.
Because too many men run the relationship into the ground.
5. Black women expect too much. They are gold diggers who will not look twice at a blue collar black man.
Now I know this list is fake. Do you know how hard it is to find a black man with a job period, blue collar or otherwise. We're just happy when he's willing to get up and go to work. And how are WE digging for gold when they don't have any. We go to college at the rate of 3 to 1. We are the ones mining the gold.
6. Black women are hot headed and have bad attitudes.
Not putting up with crap is not having a bad attitude. It's being real.
7. Black women stop caring about their appearance after a certain age.
Lots of women not just black women have this problem. I don't see any hair jumping back onto the heads of these men who want to complain about us.
8. Black women are not as sexually open as other races, especially in regards to oral sex.
A white women stood up on dr. phil and said a bride is smiling in her wedding photo because she knows it's the last time she'll ever have to do it.
Black women have been without men more and longer than white women historically so we are not rushing to get on our knees or any other position we don't want to to keep a man.
9. Black women's tolerance is far too low; they are no longer empathetic to the black man's struggle in white America.
You dog me out and I'm supposed to be sympathetic. And you just have to deal with being black. I have to be a woman and black. I win the gold medal in the oppression olympics.
10. Black women do not cater to their men.
If you want a caterer hire one. I'm not for hire.
Please don't shoot the messanger. I just found this while surfing the net. I will list my source in another post so you can read the entire article. This is food for thought not to anger any of you just to get you thinking. But I do find some truth to what the author is saying.
The only true thing about this list is...that it was compiled.
BroadstreetBully
New Member
This list, and lists like these have been posted a million times everywhere. I understand your intentions. There is some self improvement needed for black women. However, not in the form of "Why I Don't Date Black Women". Lists like these only serve as a way for SOME bitter black men to point fingers and belittle the same women who have raised generations of black men on their own. We have to hear enough crap as black women, now we have black men doing the same thing white men have done and telling us that non-black women are better than us? Don't we observe this mentality everyday?
This list was compiled based on the experiences of 5 black men. Wow, 5 less brothers I have to worry about trying to holler at me. Like I said before, I understand your intentions. I used to let stuff like this get to me and have me questioning myself. I'm over that now. I've learned that worrying about why some black men date/marry out will get us nowhere because at the end of the day, he married a white woman because he wanted a white woman. Men aren't deep enough to base who they will date/marry on 50 or so qualities, that's what women do. Men are driven by attraction. If he isn't attracted to black women, then no sweet, feminine, sexy, head-giving black woman will ever be good enough for him. I see it everyday. These same men often marry white women with 8 of the 10 'problems' posted above.
Not all black men feel this way, to the ones who do--PEACE, don't miss you! I do agree that there exists an attitude problem with some black women that stems from anger and hurt. I do agree that we can sometimes come off hard. There are issues, most being born from our unfortunate past. I'm more interested in having an intelligent conversation with a black man on the state of the black American woman and how we have to work together to heal past wounds. I'm more interested in reading something with more depth--here's what black men need to improve, here's what black women need to improve, now where do we start? That is more worth my time and consideration than "Black women are gold diggers" coming from the same men whose white wives weren't thinking about them until they became ballers. Come on now.
Most black men in sports and entertainment are dating/married to black women. Black wives do not draw as much attention and media. Don't let what you see on TV fool you.
Black men are more likely to marry out. Yes, it gets me to thinking sometimes, since many black men do hold 'eurocentric' standards of beauty. But I don't bother to give a d*** why they decided not to choose a sister. All that leads to is another man trying to belittle a woman into thinking she's inferior and that she needs to change, while another woman is innately perfect. That doesn't exist. Any black man, who is the target of so many negative stereotypes himself, is a fool to turn around and label someone else. Just plain stupid.
Wasn't The Rules written by white women, mostly for...white women? Are you telling me that white women need rules to learn how to not be so aggressive in pursuing a man? Number 2 is the ultimate in B.S. because women approach relationships and attraction in a similar fashion regardless of race.
This is why the list is stupid. How many black men have I heard say the complete opposite? "Sisters are too stuck up and want a man to go out of his way to approach them, white girls are down and have no problem stepping to a man and letting her intentions be known."
. Instead of trying to read all these lists and figure out what's wrong with me, because I'm black, I'll stick with dating men who like my black self. Apparently President Obama didn't get the memo either, his 'mean' black woman stuck by his side and supported him in his run for presidency. He won!
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