I haven't read every single comment, but I have to say, some of you ladies scare me. I haven't read anyone advising her to seek counselling or some sort of mediation. It's all "girl get yours" what the hell??
Youre right. Mediation CAN work but only if both parties are willing. We are not the OP so we can only go off what she is saying about her situation. Only SHE knows all the dynamics of her relationship. The advice given is based off what she presented. To me, the situation looks bad and so this is why she got the advise that she got. IMO. In times like this, when a man is acting a donkey that you have to look out for #1. Point blank. Thats how so many women get chopped and screwed.Didn't you get married for better or worse? I think OP should try to save her marriage. He's obviously going through some issues that as his wife, she should be helping him to work out.
Well, why does she have to help him out of his problems when he is giving her his *** to kiss? I dont suggest ANYONE do that. There are times in relationships where people act irrationally - in a marriage your job is to understand and support during this time. Why does it have to result in divorce?
The end doesnt have to be divorce. Only the two in the relationship can figure that out. From what OP is saying it seems to me like he doesnt want to be married. How do you work thru a sitution like that? Only she knows b/c like I said earlier, shes in the relationship and knows whats going on.
It's not fair for a man on such a low salary to carry the burden. This isn't 1950, this is 2010 - not every man wants to or can be the sole provider and neither should there be an expectation that he should. If he doesn't want to be a sole provider, then he shouldn't have to just to fit some 1950s ideal of what a REAL man is.
As was mentioned earlier, this should have been established up front if thats how he felt. You cant get knee deep in and then say I dont want to do this anymore then expect the woman to just do an immediate 180. If he didnt want to be sole provider he should have NEVER tried to be sole provider How do you even know that their situation was established to fit some 1950s ideal? Maybe the OP wants to be a SAHM for other reasons.
I also think this is a lesson to so many women who are planning to be a SAHM -
get your career and money in order before having children. I've never relied on anyone for anything - except my parents and even if I was married, I would still have my ish together. I'll only have kids when I know that should the worst happen, I can take care of me and my kids. Husband or no husband.
I totally agree with the bold.
To close – cheating is not a deal breaker for me. Everyone makes mistakes and I don’t believe in that adage “once a cheater always a cheater”
Everyone doesnt feel that way. For a lot of people cheating IS a deal breaker.