My Husband told me to "Get a Job"!!!

[missann]

Amazing how so much transpired in a few hours. FB is something else.

 

[jada1111]

Delete. Read a couple of the OP's posts after the first one and the one Lady P put out, I take back what I said.

OP should follow Lady P's advice to a T. Make sure that cheating bastid PAY. Maybe YOU should file for divorce first rather than him.

 

[MzLady78]

Why can't dude just want her to help out with the bills and saving extra money for the future?

All he said is that she's stayed home long enough and wants her to help him with the finances now that the kids are older. He's stressed. He sounds like a good man to me, but even the best of men can get stressed out in a bad economy.

Also, as a MAN he knows he has the "breadwinner" name to live up to, but in all seriousness, many women can't stay home like they did in the past and live "comfortably". It's difficult.

OP, I don't think he wants to leave you, but you need to figure out how to make the school thing work. Your 15 year old is old enough to look out for the other kids or maybe you need to change the younger kids schools around. I don't have a clue really, but somehow everything will work itself out.

You must not have read too far. You might wanna continue.

 

[MayaB12]

She could go back to college on his dime to get a higher degree. Answering phones can be done by anyone with a HS diploma and doesn't pay well. Depending on her talents, she could come away with something very lucrative.

eta: but ITA, secretary jobs are WAY better than CNA jobs

---------------
He only makes about $50,000 Canadian (approximate assumption based on $26/hour). I say only because income tax in Canada is sky high. That kind of money is not enough to send anyone to school in Canada, OP would have to get a student loan. And as for child support + alimony I doubt that what he will be ordered to pay will be enough to take care of 4 children. OP will probably have to work or most definitely apply for some kind of government assistance. Also please, understand that the advice you are being by most people on LHCF is based on the assumption that you are in the US - a lot of the legal advice may not apply here (I'm in Canada too).

OP here is a links to information on child support in Ontario.

http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/pi/fcy-fea/sup-pen/index.html

http://canada.justice.gc.ca/eng/pi/fcy-fea/lib-bib/legis/fcsg-lfpae/tbl1_4/on_b.pdf

Good luck.

 

[jada1111]

You must not have read too far. You might wanna continue.

You're right. Imma go back and delete my post. If I was the OP, I'd take Lady P's advice.

 

[shinyblackhair]

I hope he comes back home tonight.

Hey all...

He's back. He came back and cooked, all the while ingnoring me. I have just sat here in the basement browsing the forum and figuring what the hell I'm going to do with a cheating husband. I wonder what he's thinking? He'll never tell me the truth though. Or maybe he would if I pushed him enough, thinking it wouldn't matter b/c I don't have any means to get up out of this situation? Psshhh...I'm just really staying out of his way. I don't want a blow up. The kids are eating and playing...bedtime soon for them. I am STARVING but, not eating anything...I can't let this blow over...I need answers! Yes, okay I have to work, that is fine, but everything else he has dealt me is unacceptable.

 

[MzLady78]

You're right. Imma go back and delete my post. If I was the OP, I'd take Lady P's advice.

Girl, I was like ain't no way in hell she coulda read this whole thing!

 

[jada1111]

And let this thread serve as a reminder for those who don't have any marriage issues to be grateful for that and this be a reminder for you.

Let this also serve as a reminder to have a SECRET STASH somewhere "just in case" you need it.

Last time I mentioned this in another thread, folks were talking about "if I'm married I shouldn't have to "hide" money from my HUSBAND cause what's mine is his" and all this other nonsense.

NOW YOU KNOW WHY YOU NEED IT.

 

[jada1111]

I cosign this post 1,000% Say you understand he just did that in a moment of anger and doesn't mean it whatever BS excuse he gives, you understand it all. Meanwhile, keep your eyes laser focused on the bank account, on his FB, on all of his behavior. Document, document, document. AND find a local divorce atty.

One question (I hate to bring it up, but...) do your kids have passports? If they do, you need to lock them up where he cannot find them TONIGHT. He may take the kids and flee to Jamaica.

I think due to a rash of children abductions (mostly by middle eastern men), neither parent can take a child out of the country without written/notarized permission from the other parent. If the spouse is dead, then a death certificate needs to be presented, but she live in Canada so the laws might be different.

Yeah OP, hide the passports even though I don't believe he'll be taking the kids anywhere. That motorcycle is a sign of a man going through a midlife crisis and wanting his freedom. He will NOT be fighting for custody of those kids. Trust.

 

[Carrie A]

Don't do anything on an empty stomach.... eat and breathe.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

Let this also serve as a reminder to have a SECRET STASH somewhere "just in case" you need it.

Last time I mentioned this in another thread, folks were talking about "if I'm married I shouldn't have to "hide" money from my HUSBAND cause what's mine is his" and all this other nonsense.

NOW YOU KNOW WHY YOU NEED IT.

I remember that thread, I participated in it because I've always believed that a woman should have her own acct. that her DH has no access to (and he the same ) I don't hide money, but I am a firm, FIRM believer in not having only a joint acct and one person is calling the shots--esp. for SAHMs.

OP's situation happens very often.....unfortunately

 

[jada1111]

Girl, I was like ain't no way in hell she coulda read this whole thing!

Hoonnnneeeeeeyyyyyyyyy, as I started to read MORE I was like "WTF?" Deleting her off FB, making his status single (facebook's the devil, I tell ya), telling her to get a job, picking fights for no reason, purchasing a motorcycle when you have FOUR KIDS, A WIFE and make $26 AN HOUR is the sign of a man having a mid-life crisis and making stupid decisions all for some vayjayjay. He's cheating. No doubt.

 

[MzLady78]

I think due to a rash of children abductions (mostly by middle eastern men), neither parent can take a child out of the country without written/notarized permission from the other parent. If the spouse is dead, then a death certificate needs to be presented, but she live in Canada so the laws might be different.

Yeah OP, hide the passports even though I don't believe he'll be taking the kids anywhere. That motorcycle is a sign of a man going through a midlife crisis and wanting his freedom. He will NOT be fighting for custody of those kids. Trust.

I agree. His a** wants to be out running the streets, not being single dad to 4 children.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Let this also serve as a reminder to have a SECRET STASH somewhere "just in case" you need it.

Last time I mentioned this in another thread, folks were talking about "if I'm married I shouldn't have to "hide" money from my HUSBAND cause what's mine is his" and all this other nonsense.

NOW YOU KNOW WHY YOU NEED IT.

SOMEBODY SAID THAT??????

Naw son.

Nothing wrong with your own secret Squirrely Stash.

 

[Ladybelle]

((hugs)) to you OP - this is a very difficult situation but you can make it a little easier by being prepared.


I don't do the 'ports like datjerseygirl but I do have me a glass a wine every now & then.This thread made me grab the whole dayum bottle!!

My dh is not a cheating dog, but I have my issues with him & that's a whole nother thread though. But the ladies of LHCF, my mama & sister have helped me get my ish together. I haven't finalized whether divorce is on the table or not yet, but I do have a PLAN A, PLAN B & PLAN C. So, no matter WTF happens - I got me & the kids covered.

I like to call the plans the " EXIST to EXIST & EXIST TO EXIT plans." Which simply means, you put on your game face & go to war. Strategize this ish. Be TWO steps ahead of your DH at all times. I know we all women's up in here, but you gotta try to t think like he's thinking right now & you can do it better than he can because you know him so well. And for everything you think he might do, could do, would do, have a plan waiting for his arse. Right now you are existing to create a better existence for youself & possibly just doing what is neccessary(exisiting) until you can strategically get out of the situation.

Find out who the BEST lawyers are in your area. Go consult with them. You got the time- that way when/if he goes to a lawyer, no one you've consulted with can take his case because it would be a conflict of interest.

Find out ASAP what the laws are & decide based on that whether or not it's time to get a job. If DH is pressuring you to get one, play the good little wife & pretend to look hard. Even go to an interview or two if it'll keep the peace.

Become a private eye & file all your information in a private place where you know he won't look. I keep mine in the drawer with my tampons & maxi pads- that nicca won't go nowhere near that stuff because most men can't stand that stuff.

LIMIT who you tell this to besides us. No matter how much you trust people- folks talk and you don't want him to have a clue about your strategizing right now.

I know it's hard, soooo very hard to leave a marriage. But, you got to look out for you & those kids. If you decide to stay with him, that's YOUR choice, but do yourself a favor and plan for the worst. so that way , if shyt hits the fan - you got an umbrella. If it doesn't... oh well- it's better to be prepared than to be arse out.

If you believe in God - tap into the strength only he can give you right now & ask him for understanding,wisdom & discernment for this situation. God will give it to you. I tell you no lie & it might sound crazy as all get out but I asked God to help me see my dh for who he really is rather than what I create him to be in my mind and I started having all these dreams showing me the dayum truth along with passwords to email accounts, voicemails & stuff that I couldn't have guessed no matter how hard I tried. With the truth - no matter how good or bad it is you are better equipped to make the best decision. God don't like ugly & he does not like to see his precious daughters hurt by anyone - that includes husbands!!


I wish you all the best & all sickness ain't death, what don't kill you make you stronger & you will make it past this.

((hugs)) again & know we are here for you.

ETA: one more thing, here the majority of consultations with attorney's are free - hopefully they are also free in your area too & you don't have to worry about coming up with the $$ for an attorney right this minute.

 

[MayaB12]

((hugs)) to you OP - this is a very difficult situation but you can make it a little easier by being prepared.


I don't do the 'ports like datjerseygirl but I do have me a glass a wine every now & then.This thread made me grab the whole dayum bottle!!

My dh is not a cheating dog, but I have my issues with him & that's a whole nother thread though. But the ladies of LHCF, my mama & sister have helped me get my ish together. I haven't finalized whether divorce is on the table or not yet, but I do have a PLAN A, PLAN B & PLAN C. So, no matter WTF happens - I got me & the kids covered.

I like to call the plans the " EXIST to EXIST & EXIST TO EXIT plans." Which simply means, you put on your game face & go to war. Strategize this ish. Be TWO steps ahead of your DH at all times. I know we all women's up in here, but you gotta try to t think like he's thinking right now & you can do it better than he can because you know him so well. And for everything you think he might do, could do, would do, have a plan waiting for his arse. Right now you are existing to create a better existence for youself & possibly just doing what is neccessary(exisiting) until you can strategically get out of the situation.

Find out who the BEST lawyers are in your area. Go consult with them. You got the time- that way when/if he goes to a lawyer, no one you've consulted with can take his case because it would be a conflict of interest.

Find out ASAP what the laws are & decide based on that whether or not it's time to get a job. If DH is pressuring you to get one, play the good little wife & pretend to look hard. Even go to an interview or two if it'll keep the peace.

Become a private eye & file all your information in a private place where you know he won't look. I keep mine in the drawer with my tampons & maxi pads- that nicca won't go nowhere near that stuff because most men can't stand that stuff.

LIMIT who you tell this to besides us. No matter how much you trust people- folks talk and you don't want him to have a clue about your strategizing right now.

I know it's hard, soooo very hard to leave a marriage. But, you got to look out for you & those kids. If you decide to stay with him, that's YOUR choice, but do yourself a favor and plan for the worst. so that way , if shyt hits the fan - you got an umbrella. If it doesn't... oh well- it's better to be prepared than to be arse out.

If you believe in God - tap into the strength only he give you right now & ask him for understanding,wisdom & discernment for this situation. God will give it to you. I tell you no lie & it might sound crazy as all get out but I asked God to help me see my dh for who he really is rather than what I create him to be in my mind and I started having all these dreams showing me the dayum truth along with passwords to email accounts, voicemails & stuff that I couldn't have guessed no matter how hard I tried.


I wish you all the best & all sickness ain't death, what don't kill you make you stronger & you will make it past this.

((hugs)) again & know we are here for you.

She is a SAHM I doubt that she can afford the best lawyers - the onus is on OP to educate herself on the process and rely on legal aid lawyers if necessary. Also I'm not sure why people are telling her to snoop around and try to catch him cheating and so forth... Alimony and child support are calculated based on income. He can't give what he doesn't have. So I don't see how whether she can prove he cheating will help her financially. If I were you OP I would:

1. Consider divorce (and everything that it means) consult a legal aid clinic for advice.
2. Find out exactly how much child support I would be entitled to.
3. Look into temporary government assistance (sigh).
3. Ponder living arrangements - can I afford mortgage or rents payments.
4. Speak to my family ask for their help and support.
5. Seriously consider finding a job or better still getting a student loan and going back to university full-time - this will buy you time (four years at least).

 

[Ladybelle]

She is a SAHM I doubt that she can afford the best lawyers - the onus is on OP to educate herself on the process and rely on legal aid lawyers if necessary. Also I'm not sure why people are telling her to snoop around and try to catch him cheating and so forth... Alimony and child support are calculated based on income. He can't give what he doesn't have. So I don't see how whether she can prove he cheating will help her financially. If I were you OP I would:

1. Consider divorce (and everything that it means) consult a legal aid clinic for advice.
2. Find out exactly how much child support I would be entitled to.
3. Look into temporary government assistance (sigh).
3. Ponder living arrangements - can I afford mortgage or rents payments.
4. Speak to my family ask for their help and support.
5. Seriously consider finding a job or better still getting a student loan and going back to university full-time - this will buy you time (four years at least).

That's why it's called being strategic, even if she can't afford to hire the best lawyers it doesn't hurt to consult with them because that way her DH can't use them even if he wanted to. This is a situation where it doesn't hurt to cover all the bases. Most of the time a consult is free. Consult with them, so IF the dh decides to use one of divorce gurus, he will be greeted with the "I'm sorry Mr.SO& SO, I'm unable to take your case due to a previous consult with Mrs.So & SO" He will know then that this is not a game & he's not just going to get one up on her.

Also certain attorney's can make or break your divorce settlement. One worth his salt will be able to tell her how to cover her bases, what she needs to do & not do in order to protect herself & her children & to be able to get all of this info for FREE?? Priceless. How do I know this? Because I went to a top notch lawyer & got better advice than I did from the legal clinic. With the legal clinics, it's all customary stuff - the basics, the better lawyers give you the advantage & that's what their supposed to do. Not to insult her husband, but if he is willing to even consider putting her in such a compromising position, she needs to be uncompromising in having her plan of attack well organized & put together & still do it all with a smile on her face... be civil of course.

I wouldn't tell my family yet either- you don't want family in this type of marital business until your thinking is clear. Once the plan is clear to OP then I would suggest including family because sometimes family will have you even more confused than you already are. I would go to family more along the lines this is what happened & this is what I'm going to do, can you help? Versus going to family like "this is what happened, what should I do?" See the difference???
What if she decides to stay with him and gets the family in this mess? Their opinion of him would be shot to hell. Wives can often forgive & forget while moms,dads, & siblings don't. I can't tell you what to do OP because this is your life and this is all just my opinion which I thought I was entitled to.

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

Gurlllllll if it wasn't for programmes like CSI, I woulda said kill the madda fakka.

Are you looking the best you can? If not, I want you to work on yourself. I can already see you're beautiful on the inside, but men don't cross the road to speak to a woman's soul. I want you to look sexy errr'day. I think a lot of men cheat because they get tired of seeing their wife in sweatpants. And some sideline h0e is always wearing the sexiest clothes. That is a general remark, I'm not aiming it at you specifically. Just what I've heard.

Who da fack does this guy think he is by deleting you off facebook. I want you to go to a photoshoot gurl, and make that your profile pic. And When he comes home from work, I want you walking around naked eating a strawberry. (slowly) Sorry I was going somewhere with this, but I forgot.

I think the advice several people gave you was great. Whilst you do all of that, make sure you looking hawt mamma. Visit some online-dating sites, upload that photoshoot pic (always delete site history) and speak to men, be smart about it, and start taking your phone when you go for a piss too.

The quickest way to get over a man, is to get under another. Just when you do please make sure the other is making more than $26.

ETA: I'd say get a job on the side, one that pays cash and hopefully nobody can trace it. I can't say anymore than that.. I hope you see where I'm going with this.

P.s revenge is sweet.

Fack Karma.

Hint* You cook the food he eats.

I'll stop there. IPs can be traced.

 

[MayaB12]

That's why it's called being strategic, even if she can't afford to hire the best lawyers it doesn't hurt to consult with them because that way her DH can't use them even if he wanted to. This is a situation where it doesn't hurt to cover all the bases. Most of the time a consult is free. Consult with them, so IF the dh decides to use one of divorce gurus, he will be greeted with the "I'm sorry Mr.SO& SO, I'm unable to take your case due to a previous consult with Mrs.So & SO" He will know then that this is not a game & he's not just going to get one up on her.

Also certain attorney's can make or break your divorce settlement. One worth his salt will be able to tell her how to cover her bases, what she needs to do & not do in order to protect herself & her children & to be able to get all of this info for FREE?? Priceless. How do I know this? Because I went to a top notch lawyer & got better advice than I did from the legal clinic. With the legal clinics, it's all customary stuff - the basics, the better lawyers give you the advantage & that's what their supposed to do. Not to insult her husband, but if he is willing to even consider putting her in such a compromising position, she needs to be uncompromising in having her plan of attack well organized & put together & still do it all with a smile on her face... be civil of course.

I wouldn't tell my family yet either- you don't want family in this type of marital business until your thinking is clear. Once the plan is clear to OP then I would suggest including family because sometimes family will have you even more confused than you already are. I would go to family more along the lines this is what happened & this is what I'm going to do, can you help? Versus going to family like "this is what happened, what should I do?" See the difference???
What if she decides to stay with him and gets the family in this mess? Their opinion of him would be shot to hell. Wives can often forgive & forget while moms,dads, & siblings don't. I can't tell you what to do OP because this is your life and this is all just my opinion which I thought I was entitled to.

Settle down no need for the snarky tone, we are all on the same team - you are try to help - I'm trying to help. Above all what I'm trying to do is help OP by offering practical information based on my understanding of how things work in Canada. What works in the US doesn't necessarily work where OP lives in Toronto, Canada. At the end of the day all it is is advice its up to her to take it or leave it, so don't "see the difference???" me. Let's put egos aside and focus on helping OP.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

Hey all...

He's back. He came back and cooked, all the while ingnoring me. I have just sat here in the basement browsing the forum and figuring what the hell I'm going to do with a cheating husband. I wonder what he's thinking? He'll never tell me the truth though. Or maybe he would if I pushed him enough, thinking it wouldn't matter b/c I don't have any means to get up out of this situation? Psshhh...I'm just really staying out of his way. I don't want a blow up. The kids are eating and playing...bedtime soon for them. I am STARVING but, not eating anything...I can't let this blow over...I need answers! Yes, okay I have to work, that is fine, but everything else he has dealt me is unacceptable.

I'm sorry I'm getting to this post kind of late, but please take the advice given to you on this forum. Unfortunately you are not the first wife that this has happened to...there is a formula that these women are sharing with you - with good reason. For the benefit of you and your experiences over the coming months, please take the advice.

 

[liberationtheory]

NEVERMIND

Read the whole thread.

Damn.

My prayers are with you.

 

[Ladybelle]

Settle down no need for the snarky tone, we are all on the same team - you are try to help - I'm trying to help. Above all what I'm trying to do is help OP by offering practical information based on my understanding of how things work in Canada. What works in the US doesn't necessarily work where OP lives in Toronto, Canada. At the end of the day all it is is advice its up to her to take it or leave it, so don't "see the difference???" me. Let's put egos aside and focus on helping OP.

Ditto. I just think your comment was based on an misunderstanding of my suggestion which was taken in jest. And the "see the difference" comment was to help garner understanding in the difference between the two scenarios. Nothing more, nothing less. I typically don't speak in code & if I meant to be snarky or sarcastic - it would have been quite clear without any satirical tone. So, please don't take offense.

The main objection which I illustrated in my first post was to help op. She can take all of this two cents and decide what she wants to bank.

OP:again, I wish you the best. PM if you need to & I really hope things get better for you & your family sooner than later. More ((HUGS))!!!

On that note, I'm going to bed. Goodnight all.

 

[ebonylocs]

Hmmm. People are already posting as if it is conclusively proven that OP's husband is cheating and planning to leave. OP I would advise you to get the facts first before acting on any of this advice.

 

[HappilyLiberal]

Honey, I don't want you to get upset or angry with me. But what your husband is telling you... and your description of his behavior... it sounds like he might have one foot out the door. In a divorce, a man with a stay at home wife and minor children will have to pay SERIOUS child support and spousal support. If he can get you working, he will cut his financial obligations to you and the kids by a significant amount. If I were you, before laying a finger on that resume, I'd start snooping on 1. his email 2. his voicemail 3. his facebook if he has one. When a man starts shoving his wife out the door, many times it's because he wants a divorce... and men never leave until they have a replacement.

eta: going on nights would mess up his playtime with a mistress. If he really just wanted the extra income, he'd be happy to accommodate you with changing shifts. Think about it. I'm not saying for sure that he is, but I'm saying YOU NEED TO BE SURE HE ISN'T before you even think about taking a job.

I would normally advise the bolded in a situation like this... until OP said the husband has ties to another country. If that is the case he can leave her high and dry if a court orders mega-$$$ to her and the children. She needs to increase her skills/get a job in case he wants out enough to leave the country.

 

[HappilyLiberal]

*lights up a newport one hunnit n pours me some covah-see-ay or howeva da hell u spellit*

well well well....there some stinch in da air. lemme git dis hea straight. so da mu'phucka done tole u afta how many..*counts on fingas*..1-2-3.....afta 4 chirren datchu need to git a job?

he starts hangin out wif da pink boys n done went out n bought a motorcycle. yeah, he phuckin. sho is. see, not only is someone on his penis, but someone is in his ear too. meanin someone tellin him dis shyt and then he comes home and put it on you. dat go git a job came from one of his buddies. and see, he wants u to git a job so he can have some ho funds. da ho gotta eat n shyt, so da more he puts into yalls household, da less he has to splurge on his new ho.

it's phucked up, but it's true. he ain't dat bright to think well...lemme tell her to git a job cuz dat'll be less money i gotta pay in spousal support. u women give these dogs way too much credit. but i will give him a lil credit. he's givin u a heads up. da writin is on da wall. he feels trapped financially, which is why he tellin u to go find a job.

*puff n plucks ash...takes a sip*

but then again, by me bein olda, there is a WHOOOOOLE lot more to this story than what ur tellin. like, if ur home all day, and when he gits home, is dinner cooked..lil dumb shyt like that...is da house clean? are u keepin urself up? das prolly why he was lookin atchu all stoopit n shyt. neva know whats goin thru his mind chile. just neva know. he prolly tired of comin home to da same ole bu'shyt. i ain't sayin dats da case shuga...im just sayin. there are always three sides to a story, urs, his and da truth.

well, u done dealth with it this long, now u need to devise plan. eitha have a plan or plan to fail. since u in da house all dayum day, idle time is da devil time. start gettin YOU togetha cuz see, when da shyt hits da fan, u gotta be prepared. i wouldn't leave him now cuz you'll be givin him what he wants lololol i know its sad, but true.

you already know in ur heart dat he out der, so no sense in tryna fix dat cuz whats done is done. get a job and start bankin some money. straightup. don't tell him how much u make, etc. nunna his dayum bidness. get a job n start gettin ur shyt t'getha cuz now u gotta focus on u and dem chirren. but one thing i won't do is leave my home. phuck dat. he want out, den he gotta go. simple as that.

*puffs n sips some mo*

i would reverse da psych on him. i would git a job, have everything in place, wouldn't bother him too much bout sex, or how was his day, etc. in other words, i would kill his monkey azzz with kindness. throw him a curve ball. u gotta psych these bamas out when u play dis game of whose gonna get phucked first. don't show emotion to let him know datchu know he out der cuz all its gonna do is make matters worse. right now, he sees dat ur weak cuz u ain't got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. gain ur position n get back on ur feet and let dat be da reason chile.

avoid arguments and do whatchu gotta do. bein a housewife and all dat is nice, but if u ain't financially got it goin on (like baller wives n shyt), then it ain't cute. imma need u to step ur game up. can't be no broke azzzz housewife. dayum dat.

Why is it, after reading all of that, I am imagining somebody getting into a car and heading to Toronto with an electric hedge trimmer?!

 

[MizzBrown]

And let this thread serve as a reminder for those who don't have any marriage issues to be grateful for that and this be a reminder for you.

And for those who aren't in relationships and have great high ideals as to how things should go down, I pray you are never placed in a situation such as this, because sometimes life just goes a certain way - the days accumulate and one day you wake up, get dressed and look around thinking WTF.

Nobody plans anything like this is all.

Quoted for more emphasis! You dayum right!!

 

[BillsBackerz67]

True but at this point its best to think the worst of the worst to further prepare herself in case this is true.If it's not that serious and things were blown out of proportion, then hey she still learned something and is further prepared in case something like this happens again. It is proven that when most men are cheating they do a complete 360 in their everyday routine/behavior.....from what the OP said this is happening.

Even after OP offered to work and asked him to compromise in his schedule he didn't want to budge or meet her half way. If he was that desperate for the OP to start contributing to the household financially he would have made the necessary changes no questions asked....but he didn't...which means that there is more to this. If he's not cheating what else could be going on?

Hmmm. People are already posting as if it is conclusively proven that OP's husband is cheating and planning to leave. OP I would advise you to get the facts first before acting on any of this advice.

 

[MizzBrown]

Let this also serve as a reminder to have a SECRET STASH somewhere "just in case" you need it.

Last time I mentioned this in another thread, folks were talking about "if I'm married I shouldn't have to "hide" money from my HUSBAND cause what's mine is his" and all this other nonsense.

NOW YOU KNOW WHY YOU NEED IT.

WHAT!! Thank you!! Women should be starting on that stash while they single. Best believe I will have a stash with the least amt of paper trail to avoid him trying to trace it. What I look like getting married with ZERO savings and stash?

This is a true lesson.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

Don't do anything on an empty stomach.... eat and breathe.

Yeah but I don't know if I would eat anything he cooked.

At this point, OP, you better also watch your back. I will leave it at that. Hopefully you get my drift. And make sure you HIDE the passport.

 

[Bunny77]

Nothing really to add, just wanted to say that I am quite in awe at the way LadyP called it from the beginning!