My BFF just found out her husband is cheating on her with a MAN
- Thread starter NAPPYCHICK86
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lavaflow99
In search of the next vacation
Nothing more to add. I just pray that your friend can find strength for herself and her children to overcome this horrendous situation.
awhyley
Well-Known Member
This is just the worst.
The man she loved and trusted robbed her of her childbearing abilities. This is UNFORGIVABLE.I don't know if that's the intention, but he's surely covering his bases with this consulting the lawyers thing. OP's friends better act fast, because he's already got the jump on her. How did the family react to the news OP?
NAPPYCHICK86
New Member
I just wanted to update everyone on the outcome of my friends situation. Lets just say things are really really bad. My friend has been staying at our home and dropped the bomb on me..her husband has given her an std in the past AND he physically abused her also
I KNEW something was missing I just knew it. She has been a wreck and her family FREAKED OUT. She went to the doctor yesterday to get a papsmear (everything was normal) and she also got tested for stds(everything was normal) She has been consulting with different divorce lawyers out of different cities. The girls are still staying with her mom and im going to take her out to get a facial/body massage I think she needs it.
I KNEW something was missing I just knew it. She has been a wreck and her family FREAKED OUT. She went to the doctor yesterday to get a papsmear (everything was normal) and she also got tested for stds(everything was normal) She has been consulting with different divorce lawyers out of different cities. The girls are still staying with her mom and im going to take her out to get a facial/body massage I think she needs it.
princessnad
New Member
Cheating for 3 years with a 1 year old. Along with counseling and getter herself together, she needs to take his asz to the cleaners! She needs to lawyer up and go for everything.
Bastard
Bastard
AHeadOfCoils
Well-Known Member
I want to say sooo much but I can't without everything being bleeped out.....
I'm praying for your friend. smh
I'm praying for your friend. smh
He gave her an STD after all? God... He didn't even try to protect himself...
You're such a good friend. She needs a lot of understanding and love to get through this. Just remember to get her the help that she needs. This man psychologically abused her for his own problems. He was a total coward to the very end. He never had the guts to face how he felt or tell his wife. Then he blamed and abused his wife for not being what he wanted. And had an all out affair and started to divorse her without even once acknowledging her. This is the sickening crap that keeps that enrages me. If had come out, he could've had a life in dignity. Instead, I'd rather the world know him for the vile human being that he is.
You're such a good friend. She needs a lot of understanding and love to get through this. Just remember to get her the help that she needs. This man psychologically abused her for his own problems. He was a total coward to the very end. He never had the guts to face how he felt or tell his wife. Then he blamed and abused his wife for not being what he wanted. And had an all out affair and started to divorse her without even once acknowledging her. This is the sickening crap that keeps that enrages me. If had come out, he could've had a life in dignity. Instead, I'd rather the world know him for the vile human being that he is.
NAPPYCHICK86
New Member
Yep he sure did. She said he gave her the std before she became pregnant with their second daughter, but she never suspected that he was homosexual. Apparently they were having some problems and he cheated on her then they reconciled. I just wish shhe wouldve come to me sooner.
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
This is horrific. Even in your worst nightmares would u think something like this could happen. Just devastating. Well what did he say about the STD?
MrsIQ
Well-Known Member
I'm praying for you and your friend. She is going thorugh something no one should. She will be so much better off without this sad sack of nothing. How he could be so selfish and self centered is beyond me.
She's got a long, hard road ahead of her, but with time, prayer, good friends like you and consueling, she will get through this. One day, the thought of that bed hopping D/L piece of trash won't even cause her to shed a tear.
She's got a long, hard road ahead of her, but with time, prayer, good friends like you and consueling, she will get through this. One day, the thought of that bed hopping D/L piece of trash won't even cause her to shed a tear.
I'm sorry that it had to come to this. That she didn't come to you when he first cheated. That she didn't try to get away before she got truly emotionally harmed. But still, none of this is her fault. She wanted to be a good wife and have a healthy marriage. But unfortunately, so people believe that this can come at the expense of your self-respect.
I have half a mind to go to all of my girl friends and cousins and show them this post and demand that they ALWAYS tell me when something happens. Pretending things are good won't help anything. They need to talk to me or someone about their problems. Having that outlet can save your life someday. Because I never want to see anyone close to me go through anything like this. And if they do, I want to be the first one there to help them burn his crap...
LunadeMiel
Well-Known Member
I just wanted to update everyone on the outcome of my friends situation. Lets just say things are really really bad. My friend has been staying at our home and dropped the bomb on me..her husband has given her an std in the past AND he physically abused her also
I hope her family lights his *** up. He needs to pay for this
yardyspice
Well-Known Member
I am sorry about your friend. Nobody deserves what she is going through. It seems she knew about his cheating before but she still jeopardized her health. Maybe she needs to talk to someone about her willingness to ignore his cheating, etc. IMO that is the bigger issue not anything about him because she can't change him but she can change herself.
lilsparkle825
New Member
I was thinking that he wasn't really planning on leaving her till I read about the attorneys he consulted. Most men, when they cheat, just promise the side ho they're gonna leave but never do, or at least they don't till the wife finds out. And I'm just shuddering at the fact that he was gonna just leave her in a few months....leave her high and dry to find out where the freight train that hit her came from after all that time of a seemingly "happy" (or at least okay, it seems) marriage.
CarolinaGal
New Member
Oh heck no!!! What a complete scum bag. You don't treat people, let alone the mother of your children like this. So this low down down low man has clearly been plotting and planning for a while. I pay that the woman in this situation is comforted during this ordeal.
ClassicChic
Well-Known Member
This is so sad. I am hearing more and more stories like this. Just two days ago, I asked a friend about the break of a long term couple. I saw pictures of the woman on FB with a new guy. My friend told me that she found her former guy in bed with a man!
ClassicChic
Well-Known Member
BlackHairDiva
Well-Known Member
It's stories like this that makes single women like me wonder if I will ever find a man and have a family. Heck, it even makes me wonder if there a still men out there who actually see the beauty of being in a relationship, having family and see the beauty of fatherhood.
It's like all man are liars and cheaters. You always have to keep a close eye on them
. I'm truly calculating here. Does a sister need to start looking overseas for a man because it seems the local ones are out of their minds. Nothing is making sens anymore...I'm starting to think maybe I should aim at first generation born and raised (in Canada /USA or europe)african men, asian men. Maybe European men. They might be to uptight about some things but hey at least they seem to take marriage and family more seriously. Its like a pride thing with those group being married with kids for them is like being a real man , The" man" who is wise, successful and that everyone runs to for advice and help.
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~~HoneyComb~~
Well-Known Member
I just wanted to update everyone on the outcome of my friends situation. Lets just say things are really really bad. My friend has been staying at our home and dropped the bomb on me..her husband has given her an std in the past AND he physically abused her also
I'm glad that your friend's health is good for now.
He gave her an STD in the past
After that (since she obviously forgave him after that and slept with him again)--he would have NEVER, EVER been able to have sex again without protection--EVER!!
Britt
Well-Known Member
QueenTiffany
New Member
The absolute nerve of some people is pure insanity! I want to join the choir in saying that you should keep drilling into her head that she was not the cause or root of his deception *smh*
NAPPYCHICK86
New Member
I just wanted to update yall and let yall now that she has sought out counceling. She's now confused about her own sexuality because she's so scaredof trusting men again. I have been telling her over and over again that she has nothin to do with this. Right now she's taking it day by day. As for her husband, him and his boyfriend have been talking marriage just as soon as he can divorce his wife. This is unfortunate..my friend is beautiful and I know there are plenty of men who'd kill to date her. Right now she's not seeing the beauty in herself but itll take counceling and time to help her get past this.
awhyley
Well-Known Member
This is unfortunate..my friend is beautiful and I know there are plenty of men who'd kill to date her. Right now she's not seeing the beauty in herself but itll take counceling and time to help her get past this.
I'd also tell your friend not to rush into any 'relations' right now to validate at sexuality, as rebound relationships are never the answer. Counseling is a good move. *nods* Tell her to stick with it, even when it doesn't look as if it's working.
~~HoneyComb~~
Well-Known Member
So he's getting married now to his lover This just keeps getting worse, I'm glad your friend is getting counseling--everything that has happened to her is enough to make any woman and emotional wreck.
This just keeps getting worse, I'm glad your friend is getting counseling--everything that has happened to her is enough to make any woman and emotional wreck.NAPPYCHICK86
New Member
So he's getting married now to his lover
Yep. Just as soon as everything is finalized. He's been planning this for awhile and thats what is hurting her even more. He even threatened to take the kids away from her, but in all honesty I doubt a judge would grant him full custody. Its already worrying her that he's going to have to have the kids sometimes.
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