Saludable84
Better Late Than Ugly
@Crackers Phinn that a lot of money on numbers. I guess she didn’t hit 
Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread
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Damaris.Elle
Well-Known Member
*No quotes please*
So one of my neighbors is getting on my nerves and has been for a while, but this weekend it's gotten a little worse.
He's an older black man (I'd guess late 60s/early 70s), he moved in to the apartment complex at around the same time I did last year. He lives in the unit below me. He always speaks whenever I see him in one of the common areas of the complex (e.g. the parking lot). There's been several times where I'm leaving my apartment and he's downstairs outside already and he says "Hi, neighbor" as soon as I step out of my apartment...which gets on my nerves. Now, I'll go ahead and admit I'm really not the friendliest neighbor. When I get home from work, I like to go straight into my apartment and chill...none of this visiting with neighbors, having conversations, sending Christmas cards, borrowing sugar, etc.
If I ever hear anyone knock on my door, I never answer (unless I'm expecting a package or I invited someone over) because I don't want too many people knowing what unit I live in. Because I live by myself, I'm very cautious about people knowing where I live/seeing that I live by myself. But because he's a fellow Black person and we're the only 2 black people in the complex, I speak back.
When I spoke/speak , I would keep it short just "Hi, how are you?" (after he asks first) or "Have a good one". After a few months of this, he invited me out for lunch, which I most definitely turned down. After he asked me to lunch, I became a bit more curt in my responses to him because I don't want him getting the wrong idea with any of the interactions I have with him...I actually started to try and avoid him, but he kept speaking to me. When he's in his car and on his way out of the parking lot and sees me heading to my car or about to get in my car, he would stop and say "Hi". One time, I saw him randomly at the gym I go to and I had never seen him there before...I didn't see him after that either (I pretended not to see him). Could have been a coincidence.
A few months ago, I left my apartment in the morning and I see some weird thermos-looking object on my doorstep. I had no idea what it was, so I used some gloves to pick it up and leave it in front of the manager's office. I was thinking if it belonged to someone they would see it there and go pick it up. Later that evening when I get home from work, I hear someone knocking and knocking on my door (there's no peephole, so I don't know who it is). I don't answer. When I leave a little later, I see a note on my door that said something like "Hello, I'm in unit 3. I accidentally left a light here the other night but it was for Tim. He lives in the unit below you. Sorry about that" so I responded back by writing directly on the note and leaving it on my door. I just said "I did not know what it was or who it belonged to, so I left it in front of the manager's office." After that note, I started to wonder if leaving the light on my doorstep was just a setup to try and get me to go downstairs to the older black guy's unit. I started to think he left it there himself and not the neighbor in unit 3.
On Friday, he was in his car in the parking lot and as usual he stopped. He made a few comments about COVID-19 and I again kept it short and went about my business.
Yesterday, I wasn't home for most of the day. I got back in the early evening and after I had been home for like 10 minutes tops, I hear someone knocking and knocking and knocking at my door. I didn't answer and I had a feeling that it was probably the guy in the unit below me.
A couple of hours ago, I was on my balcony cleaning up and moving things around. The way the units are set up, the guy below me's unit is placed kind of diagonally to mine...so he could stand in his yard/patio area and look up and see on to my balcony. I have a bamboo fence set up to give me some privacy, but it doesn't completely block everything out. I suddenly hear him come out into his patio area and see him sweeping. After a couple of minutes I hear "Hi, neighbor" and I look over and see him squinting up into my balcony. This really pissed me off. First of all, there's clearly a fence up...the point of the fence is to give privacy. Second of all, who bothers someone when they're on their balcony chilling in their own home?! I was going to ignore him, but I just gave a dry "Hello" and he goes on to say "You know, I knocked on your door last night" I didn't say anything for a few seconds and then I just said "...Ok" and he starts saying other stuff that I couldn't hear so then I just said kind of loudly "I can't hear you. HAVE A GOOD ONE". He started muttering something and I just went inside. I came back out a couple of minutes later to keep working and he was gone.
I'm a little creeped out. It'd be slightly less creepy if he didn't know which unit I lived in and didn't know which car I drove. Maybe to someone else, he'd just seem like a nice older man but not to me. Maybe I'm just kind of mean, but I want him to leave me TF alone. I plan on continuing to ignore him...I wish I had ignored him today when he talked to me while I was on my balcony because now he'll probably try it again. If it does happen again in the future, I will definitely ignore him. But now I'm wondering if I will actually have to tell him directly to leave me alone. I'm hesitant with being more direct because again, I live by myself and he knows where I live and you never know who's crazy.
So one of my neighbors is getting on my nerves and has been for a while, but this weekend it's gotten a little worse.
He's an older black man (I'd guess late 60s/early 70s), he moved in to the apartment complex at around the same time I did last year. He lives in the unit below me. He always speaks whenever I see him in one of the common areas of the complex (e.g. the parking lot). There's been several times where I'm leaving my apartment and he's downstairs outside already and he says "Hi, neighbor" as soon as I step out of my apartment...which gets on my nerves. Now, I'll go ahead and admit I'm really not the friendliest neighbor. When I get home from work, I like to go straight into my apartment and chill...none of this visiting with neighbors, having conversations, sending Christmas cards, borrowing sugar, etc.
If I ever hear anyone knock on my door, I never answer (unless I'm expecting a package or I invited someone over) because I don't want too many people knowing what unit I live in. Because I live by myself, I'm very cautious about people knowing where I live/seeing that I live by myself. But because he's a fellow Black person and we're the only 2 black people in the complex, I speak back. When I spoke/speak , I would keep it short just "Hi, how are you?" (after he asks first) or "Have a good one". After a few months of this, he invited me out for lunch, which I most definitely turned down. After he asked me to lunch, I became a bit more curt in my responses to him because I don't want him getting the wrong idea with any of the interactions I have with him...I actually started to try and avoid him, but he kept speaking to me. When he's in his car and on his way out of the parking lot and sees me heading to my car or about to get in my car, he would stop and say "Hi". One time, I saw him randomly at the gym I go to and I had never seen him there before...I didn't see him after that either (I pretended not to see him). Could have been a coincidence.
A few months ago, I left my apartment in the morning and I see some weird thermos-looking object on my doorstep. I had no idea what it was, so I used some gloves to pick it up and leave it in front of the manager's office. I was thinking if it belonged to someone they would see it there and go pick it up. Later that evening when I get home from work, I hear someone knocking and knocking on my door (there's no peephole, so I don't know who it is). I don't answer. When I leave a little later, I see a note on my door that said something like "Hello, I'm in unit 3. I accidentally left a light here the other night but it was for Tim. He lives in the unit below you. Sorry about that" so I responded back by writing directly on the note and leaving it on my door. I just said "I did not know what it was or who it belonged to, so I left it in front of the manager's office." After that note, I started to wonder if leaving the light on my doorstep was just a setup to try and get me to go downstairs to the older black guy's unit. I started to think he left it there himself and not the neighbor in unit 3.
On Friday, he was in his car in the parking lot and as usual he stopped. He made a few comments about COVID-19 and I again kept it short and went about my business.
Yesterday, I wasn't home for most of the day. I got back in the early evening and after I had been home for like 10 minutes tops, I hear someone knocking and knocking and knocking at my door. I didn't answer and I had a feeling that it was probably the guy in the unit below me.
A couple of hours ago, I was on my balcony cleaning up and moving things around. The way the units are set up, the guy below me's unit is placed kind of diagonally to mine...so he could stand in his yard/patio area and look up and see on to my balcony. I have a bamboo fence set up to give me some privacy, but it doesn't completely block everything out. I suddenly hear him come out into his patio area and see him sweeping. After a couple of minutes I hear "Hi, neighbor" and I look over and see him squinting up into my balcony. This really pissed me off. First of all, there's clearly a fence up...the point of the fence is to give privacy. Second of all, who bothers someone when they're on their balcony chilling in their own home?! I was going to ignore him, but I just gave a dry "Hello" and he goes on to say "You know, I knocked on your door last night" I didn't say anything for a few seconds and then I just said "...Ok" and he starts saying other stuff that I couldn't hear so then I just said kind of loudly "I can't hear you. HAVE A GOOD ONE". He started muttering something and I just went inside. I came back out a couple of minutes later to keep working and he was gone.
I'm a little creeped out. It'd be slightly less creepy if he didn't know which unit I lived in and didn't know which car I drove. Maybe to someone else, he'd just seem like a nice older man but not to me. Maybe I'm just kind of mean, but I want him to leave me TF alone. I plan on continuing to ignore him...I wish I had ignored him today when he talked to me while I was on my balcony because now he'll probably try it again. If it does happen again in the future, I will definitely ignore him. But now I'm wondering if I will actually have to tell him directly to leave me alone. I'm hesitant with being more direct because again, I live by myself and he knows where I live and you never know who's crazy.
@Damaris.Elle - that's unsettling. What makes it so unsettling is that he is coming to your door. If it was important he would just tell you, but he's knocking on your door and probably leaving stuff at your door. Be careful.
Damaris.Elle
Well-Known Member
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Guess who snuck out of the house to go to a party and both parents, the mother being a cancer survivor have tested positive for Covid-19? I just always figured Ben was going to go the school shooter route but there he goes exceeding my expectations again.ME: Ben is a little a-hole and somebody really need to get him together before he messes around and really hurts himself or somebody else.
In-Laws: He's just rambunctious.
ME: He doesn't have any boundaries and he doesn't listen but ok he ain't my kid. You see he don't talk to me how he talks to everybody else.
Today's Group Text: Ben accidentally shot himself in the eye with his BB gun. He's getting out of emergency, it turns out he just grazed his cornea very lucky. We'll be at xxxx's house come by later.
ME: Who gave him a gun?
BrownBetty
Well-Known Member
heeeeeey!
Nothing new going on here. Still WFH. The summer is going to be so long. I was shopping for work clothes and asked for why? I basically got a couple of outfits I can go out in and wear to work if outside every opens back up.
Nothing new going on here. Still WFH. The summer is going to be so long. I was shopping for work clothes and asked for why? I basically got a couple of outfits I can go out in and wear to work if outside every opens back up.
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BrownBetty
Well-Known Member
SMH! Ben needs to be put in a head lock and then some. His IDGAF is strong to be so young.
He gives me creep, old player who refuse to get old vibes. Refer to him as “pops” and”sir” if you ever have to interact with him. Don’t let on that he is unnerving you.
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Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I agree! Start calling him Pops and Sir!!
@Damaris.ElleI found out men have just as much of a problem with being called those names/titles as women do. Men in my age group still think they are in the twenties..
I’m mad for you about his crusty old behind knocking on your door. Ask him how does he feel about the senior center being closed down, due to the pandemic.
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Damaris.Elle
Well-Known Member
I agree! Start calling him Pops and Sir!!
I found out men have just as much of a problem with being called those names/titles as women do. Men in my age group still think they are in the twenties..
I’m mad for you about his crusty old behind knocking on your door. Ask him how does he feel about the senior center being closed down, due to the pandemic.
Oh, that's a great idea! I'm sure he'll hate that
I'll try it next time I have to interact with him.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
That’s terrible! So sad.
I have friends that are so single-minded it is mind boggling. They are encouraging me to reconnect with an old flame who basically took advantage of me when I was a young dumb child (at 19). I declined mainly because it was a trainwreck before and I want nothing to do with him but also he has like 30 kids now. And now they are trying to argue me down about the memory of my own past relationship! I'll save the rest for one of the relationship threads but I'm sitting here laughing at their text messages and leaving them on read without a response. They are hilarious.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
Good! Keep them on read. That’s ridiculous for someone who cares about you to encourage you to entertain someone who took advantage of you - smdh.
I cannot have therapy at the moment so I’m extra stressed as I have a lot going on. I’m not good at handling stress so I usually try to avoid it because I have meltdowns. Other than dh there are 2 women in my life that I can allow to see the true me when I’m overwhelmed and I know that I will not be judged.
But I cannot even speak to them lol. One is vex with me because I decided to mind my business with a situation that’s going on between her and her spouse (no win situation for me) and the other one is down and feeling isolated and is not in the mood to comfort anyone. I did try to comfort her as much as one can, being thousands of miles away. But it seems like a hopeless cThey both think I’m a drama queen anyway.
So I’m trying to not involve them in my dramas. Instead of focusing on me I’m going to send them both gift baskets. Just the thought of doing that made me feel happier.i hope I can put a smile on THEIR faces. So much going on. Everybody seems down.
But I cannot even speak to them lol. One is vex with me because I decided to mind my business with a situation that’s going on between her and her spouse (no win situation for me) and the other one is down and feeling isolated and is not in the mood to comfort anyone. I did try to comfort her as much as one can, being thousands of miles away. But it seems like a hopeless cThey both think I’m a drama queen anyway.
So I’m trying to not involve them in my dramas. Instead of focusing on me I’m going to send them both gift baskets. Just the thought of doing that made me feel happier.i hope I can put a smile on THEIR faces. So much going on. Everybody seems down.
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BrownBetty
Well-Known Member
@Ganjababy sorry to hear that. Is your therapist not offering video/phone sessions?
Not at the moment
Theres a black woman I send a couple of messages to regarding work. We seem to be about the same age, nice personality, she looks fly and her weave is on point
I admit when I was young I used to be one of those that used to act cool when another black girl appeared and try not to appear too pressed in case I got rejected -_-
Now I jump on it LOL. Past 3 workplaces I've made friends some really great black women. Chatting it up by the copier and what not
I love making black connections (and some people of colour have been cool too). When I was young I didn't want to put myself out there, but I am not ashamed these days lol.
Fast forward and now we work together since April lol. Its really nice to have another black woman around since my company is oh-so-white and mostly male (IT) and we get on well.
Leeda.the.Paladin
Well-Known Member
Does anyone have friends that try to sell you things? I am close to blocking someone . Everyone thinks they are an “entrepreneur” when really they are just involved in MLM schemes. I have already told her I’m not interested but I guess I need to be more blunt
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Whenever anybody brings up something I just say "That sounds like a MLM scam. Tell me how it's different." If they can't tell me how it's different (99% of the time) then I tell them I'm not interested and don't ask me again. The 1% was my brother was like, "google the company name and scam" and the MLM had put up a positive fake review site. The reason I knew it was fake was that the second link to come up was the BBB saying the first link was a fake review site.
Leeda.the.Paladin
Well-Known Member
Well, what’s making me a little mad, aside from her trying to get me into a MLM, is that it’s for a skin cream or something.
And she sent me before and after and it looks just as bad in both pictures. Then she was like “I thought of you when I saw these results”. I was like, “Mother-trucker, what?!” I do not look that bad
I sent her a message saying that I was already committed to a skin routine and would NEVER try anything else since what i was doing is working so well.
I think people just send out mass messages, and try to make it seem personal. Someone else told me they got a message like that from her yesterday. That makes me feel a little better
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
They are really on the prowl right now. Hopefully whatever new scheme is cooking will die down soon. They always tell people to hit up their family and friends first.
Browndilocks
Browndisha Brownie Sundae
I just don't like when people make posts like "If you're my real friend, you'd support my business". That's how I know for sure they aren't real business people. I have my own business and the LAST people I want as clients are friends and family. While it's great if they support you, they only get in the way when you are trying to build/enforce your practices. Plus nobody owes you anything. Better to just roll your sleeves up and go for it.
Agree 1000%. Not only that but it's also wildly unprofessional. Instagram-businesses and the like have become their own little separate arena with zero professionalism. I argue with one friend in particular about this all the time. She's constantly clapping back at customers, calling followers out for not supporting and always posting subliminals that essentially say stay off my page if you won't support. It's so weird! She tells me I don't get it because I'm not on social media.
Leeda.the.Paladin
Well-Known Member
I have someone like that on my timeline too. She goes so far to say that if you don’t support her, then you don’t support black people. I very often go out of my way to support black owned business but I can’t buy everything, especially when I don’t even like it.
weaveadiva
Well-Known Member
@Browndilocks @Leeda.the.Paladin I’ve seen someone go as far as posting screen shots of a conversation she had with a potential customer and then proceeded to basically drag her.
I couldn’t block her quickly enough and I wasn’t even following. You don’t realize that while you’re trying to school someone and publicly humiliate them you could also be losing future business.
I couldn’t block her quickly enough and I wasn’t even following. You don’t realize that while you’re trying to school someone and publicly humiliate them you could also be losing future business.
RoundEyedGirl504
Well-Known Member
My cousin has an IG business selling body butters. Everyday she's posting telling people to stop messaging her about orders the turnaround time is 3 weeks LOL! Then the subliminal posts about people copying, hating, not supporting. Been in business a smooth 2 months and everybody is copying the other, that's the name of the game. People have romanticized being an entrepreneur in a weird way.
oneastrocurlie
Well-Known Member
People don't get that your friends and family may not be your ideal customer and that's perfectly fine. Go find the people that are.
Leeda.the.Paladin
Well-Known Member
This! It’s very strange
Browndilocks
Browndisha Brownie Sundae
I think in part, it has been sensationalized by reality shows. You own a little boutique or have a T-shirt line and BAM you're in a multi million dollar house with multi million dollar hip hop friends lol.
Another side to it I believe is the success we've seen with lines like Mielle, Carol's Daughter, Camille Rose etc. A lot of seemingly super regular people who have product lines that perform extraordinarily. They demystify a lot of the reward, but I think some people fail to realize or think about what may have happened before-hand.
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