Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

[Damaris.Elle]

@Browndilocks
That's a good point. And when I think about it, that could be why (up until recently) I didn't offer to do anything for her company nor did she ask. We probably both had a gut feeling that it wouldn't be the best idea. I think the reason I offered recently was because she mentioned she needed people and I did want to help in some way. But right now with me feeling weird about how she tried to get in contact with the CEOs at my company I think the best idea would be to not get involved anymore.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

I have a friend who I know through another friend that apparently is very introverted and maybe has anxiety. I just heard about the anxiety part like a week ago from our mutual friend. I invite her to stuff when I have things. She always invited to our mutual friends' things. But man, she can be kinda negative. Little stuff, big stuff. I remember her saying she didn't see why people paid to get into this particular science museum we went to once lol. I laugh now cause it was such a random negative thing to say. She regularly post quotes and pictures about being an introvert vs extrovert on FB.

Anywho, she forwarded an email about a weekly event to myself and a friend that lives very close to us and said "I want to check this out". Nothing else. Just that one sentence.

Like girl, we all got lives. You have a specific day you want to go? You want to go on time? Maybe a little bit after it starts? How long you trying to stay?

She did the same thing around her birthday. Just send a group text out saying "guess who's birthday is soon and hasn't figured anything out". That was it. On her actual birthday we were trying to think of places to eat, she shot them all down, then finally picked a place and time with a mere 4 hours notice on a work day.

I feel bad cause I ain't really interested. I know she barely leaves the house but geesh. If you want to do something you have to do more than just send a one liner. Just like the rest of us do when we want to do things together.

 

[LdyKamz]

@oneastrocurlie I'm an introvert and when I plan things in advance it's always a mistake because on the day of I'm usually feeling antisocial and then look like a flake. But alternatively, I hate last minute plans and invites. I'm just a terrible person to hang out with As we've gotten older no one plans around me anymore and says "come if you're coming, don't if you're not" and then leave alone. I have a small group of friends though and most of us have known each other since childhood.

 

[mz.rae]

I’ve been so bored with everything as of late, I need some friends or people to hangout with. This is making it so hard to not reach out to the friends that I stopped fooling with.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

@oneastrocurlie I'm an introvert and when I plan things in advance it's always a mistake because on the day of I'm usually feeling antisocial and then look like a flake. But alternatively, I hate last minute plans and invites. I'm just a terrible person to hang out with As we've gotten older no one plans around me anymore and says "come if you're coming, don't if you're not" and then leave alone. I have a small group of friends though and most of us have known each other since childhood.

At least you're aware of your own personality and habits. It's like she has an idea and wants others to take the lead. She eventually said basically any Thursday would work. Alrighty girl lol. When you settle on one of the 40ish Thursdays that are left this year let me know.

 

[Miss_Luna]

This week, and it's only Monday, has been very emotionally draining.

Maybe it's hormonal, but I just feel so out of it. The Kobe Bryant news hit me hard for some reason and I only passively followed him. I guess it's his age and seeing video of him and his daughter together.

Social media is too much now. I just want to get in the bed or lie down on the sofa with a nice chai and some candles. But I'm working and in a day full of meetings. I don't have any downtime this week to reflect.

 

[weaveadiva]

I’ve been so bored with everything as of late, I need some friends or people to hangout with. This is making it so hard to not reach out to the friends that I stopped fooling with.

I know this is the men-free zone but his is exactly how I'm feeling about dating. I'm fighting to resist past flames I know should be left in the past.

 

[hopeful]

I’ve been so bored with everything as of late, I need some friends or people to hangout with. This is making it so hard to not reach out to the friends that I stopped fooling with.

Stay strong. Life is better when we keep moving forward. Maybe not always easier. But better. You got this. You have to make yourself new friends. Join MeetUp, try new things, keep putting yourself out there to meet new people.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

The #girldad hashtag got me in the feels. The relationship with my dad is non-existent and has been for a really long time.

 

[gimbap]

I have a friend who I know through another friend that apparently is very introverted and maybe has anxiety. I just heard about the anxiety part like a week ago from our mutual friend. I invite her to stuff when I have things. She always invited to our mutual friends' things. But man, she can be kinda negative. Little stuff, big stuff. I remember her saying she didn't see why people paid to get into this particular science museum we went to once lol. I laugh now cause it was such a random negative thing to say. She regularly post quotes and pictures about being an introvert vs extrovert on FB.

Anywho, she forwarded an email about a weekly event to myself and a friend that lives very close to us and said "I want to check this out". Nothing else. Just that one sentence.

Like girl, we all got lives. You have a specific day you want to go? You want to go on time? Maybe a little bit after it starts? How long you trying to stay?

She did the same thing around her birthday. Just send a group text out saying "guess who's birthday is soon and hasn't figured anything out". That was it. On her actual birthday we were trying to think of places to eat, she shot them all down, then finally picked a place and time with a mere 4 hours notice on a work day.

I feel bad cause I ain't really interested. I know she barely leaves the house but geesh. If you want to do something you have to do more than just send a one liner. Just like the rest of us do when we want to do things together.

I also consider myself introverted and have dealt with anxiety and I've always struggled with inviting people to things because of the bolded--I don't want everyone to not be interested.
In the past, I would always go to things that my friends wanted to do, even if I wasn't interested, just to get out of the house, spend time with people, etc. I stopped doing this when I noticed people had no problems saying "nope not interested" to me. So when your friend sends out these emails with events but no plans, maybe she's trying to gauge interest first

 

[oneastrocurlie]

I also consider myself introverted and have dealt with anxiety and I've always struggled with inviting people to things because of the bolded--I don't want everyone to not be interested.
In the past, I would always go to things that my friends wanted to do, even if I wasn't interested, just to get out of the house, spend time with people, etc. I stopped doing this when I noticed people had no problems saying "nope not interested" to me. So when your friend sends out these emails with events but no plans, maybe she's trying to gauge interest first

That's a point of view I hadn't thought of. I'm the kind of friend that will go anyway just cause it's something one of us wants to do. I want to say we're all like that cause I can't think of anyone has ever said "nope not interested". But you know what, I think I'm kind of like that! I don't typically plan things cause I don't want people to not come. I did a birthday party and a Halloween party last year and my place was full. And I thought to myself oh ok, people will show up and have a good time lol.

I'm glad you said something, I wouldn't have thought that possibly being her thought process.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

A mood.

 

[kimpaur]

Don't know if this belongs here butttt


A white woman has somehow infiltrated my family's 2020 Family Reunion Facebook Page. She outed herself on a post encouraging everyone to vote bc of the s#t-show happening in the Whitehouse.

I'm currently waiting for her to reply to my comment asking who she's kin to-so I can snatch them edges

Don't know how she slipped through the cracks but I got time today

 

[Crackers Phinn]

A friend called me in tears because at 53 she discovered that she has to grow up. I’ve done everything except hit her over the head with that she needed to move out of her parents house and be on her own for 20 years but but she would not hear me.

She and her 50 year old brother have been used to rent free living and mooching since their fathers death in the 90’s and now that the mother requires 24 hr care the only sibling to move out said they need to sell the mothers house to pay for it.

My friend thought that her mother would die and her brother would magically move out and she would just pay the taxes on the house and live there forever. With the exception of temp assignments here and there she’s been unemployed for 7 years. ISSA mess.

 

[mrselle]

A friend called me in tears because at 53 she discovered that she has to grow up. I’ve done everything except hit her over the head with that she needed to move out of her parents house and be on her own for 20 years but but she would not hear me.

She and her 50 year old brother have been used to rent free living and mooching since their fathers death in the 90’s and now that the mother requires 24 hr care the only sibling to move out said they need to sell the mothers house to pay for it.

My friend thought that her mother would die and her brother would magically move out and she would just pay the taxes on the house and live there forever. With the exception of temp assignments here and there she’s been unemployed for 7 years. ISSA mess.

The brother too? Sheesh.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

My cousin who I mentioned I was paying for her groceries and everything else some months ago called herself being mad with me because I told her she’s a mooch with a bad attitude and she needed to pick a struggle. Well I hadn’t spoken to her since early January. Last weekend she texted me that her baby daddy car broke down, and her other cousin came and got them and brought them home but she forgot her car keys in the car and can I come out of my nice comfortable house to bring her to get those keys. Of course they can’t Uber because bank accounts are perpetually overdrawn. I said well sis cabs still take cash get it how you live. Nope. I’m not doing it anymore with these people who every time they call you it’s to ask for something. If you and your man can’t figure it out then y’all gonna be sol with me.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

The brother too? Sheesh.

When the mother first started showing signs of dementia the brother moved his girlfriend in the house. He has also refused to pay the taxes of the cable or cell phone bills that they share. I kept telling my friend that if her mother passed away it was more likely her brother would put her out the house.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

When the mother first started showing signs of dementia the brother moved his girlfriend in the house. He has also refused to pay the taxes of the cable or cell phone bills that they share. I kept telling my friend that if her mother passed away it was more likely her brother would put her out the house.

I often wonder about people like this. There is some level of anxiety underlying because knowing you don’t have two nickels and time isn’t on your side would have to be simmering. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. If he’s not paying the taxes then it’s gonna be an even bigger mess to try and sell.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I often wonder about people like this. There is some level of anxiety underlying because knowing you don’t have two nickels and time isn’t on your side would have to be simmering. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night. If he’s not paying the taxes then it’s gonna be an even bigger mess to try and sell.

He pays for nothing with the house except the mothers cell phone plan that both him and my friend are on and the cable bill. Luckily, only the wife and two daughters names are on the deed so they can sell it without bothering with him.

The only excuse I'll offer for my friend is she's hispanic adjacent and the girls go from their father house to their husbands house but she didn't manage to find a husband. I tried to set her up but her bag securing skills are caca and what I tell her goes in one ear and out the other. It's unfortunate because when I met her in college she was one of the most stunning women I'd ever seen in real life but 30 years took a toll and she wasted the pretty chasing dudes who didn't want her. So here we are.

 

[hopeful]

My cousin who I mentioned I was paying for her groceries and everything else some months ago called herself being mad with me because I told her she’s a mooch with a bad attitude and she needed to pick a struggle. Well I hadn’t spoken to her since early January. Last weekend she texted me that her baby daddy car broke down, and her other cousin came and got them and brought them home but she forgot her car keys in the car and can I come out of my nice comfortable house to bring her to get those keys. Of course they can’t Uber because bank accounts are perpetually overdrawn. I said well sis cabs still take cash get it how you live. Nope. I’m not doing it anymore with these people who every time they call you it’s to ask for something. If you and your man can’t figure it out then y’all gonna be sol with me.

Pick a struggle ! I’m proud of you for not leaving your comfy home to help her . If we let them, people will take until there is nothing left.

 

[KimPossibli]

we're too old for you to be this broke
and even if you are this broke...cause things happen, you need to be honest with yourself and others instead of fronting and posturing

 

[BrownBetty]

Who is the admin? Have them throw her out. My mother's brother started inviting all this "family" he "discovered". I left the group once they started contacting me and they/he couldn't tell us how we were related. I wasn't an admin so I couldn't do much.

Snatch her then throw her out!

Don't know if this belongs here butttt


A white woman has somehow infiltrated my family's 2020 Family Reunion Facebook Page. She outed herself on a post encouraging everyone to vote bc of the s#t-show happening in the Whitehouse.

I'm currently waiting for her to reply to my comment asking who she's kin to-so I can snatch them edges

Don't know how she slipped through the cracks but I got time today

 

[oneastrocurlie]

A friend needed to leave town for a little bit for a personal matter. While they were going through it, their own brother took their car without permission... Twice. I'll spare the shady details about how the brother even got the car keys. He got into an accident one of those times. The brother was being mum on the details. But it all came to light because my friend has dash cams in their car and they way they are arranged the pov is from behind the driver. Brother either didn't realize them or didn't realize they were recording.

Brother was drinking and driving and hit a sign. The video was kind of scary. Especially because it could have easily been a person.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I totally just had a durr dee durr durr moment, my college roommate reminded me that Lisa Leslie lived in the same dorm/different floor as us at USC. I had a flashback of going to the mailboxes and being surrounded by the shadows of amazons cuz all the basketball chicks only hung out with each other and always seemed to be in a huddle.

 

[Damaris.Elle]

This girl that I went to undergrad with texted me today and said "When are we going to see each other again?" and I'm so tempted to text back "When you stop flaking" She's so flakey. That's why I haven't hung out with her in about a year.

 

[Saludable84]

My cousin who I mentioned I was paying for her groceries and everything else some months ago called herself being mad with me because I told her she’s a mooch with a bad attitude and she needed to pick a struggle. Well I hadn’t spoken to her since early January. Last weekend she texted me that her baby daddy car broke down, and her other cousin came and got them and brought them home but she forgot her car keys in the car and can I come out of my nice comfortable house to bring her to get those keys. Of course they can’t Uber because bank accounts are perpetually overdrawn. I said well sis cabs still take cash get it how you live. Nope. I’m not doing it anymore with these people who every time they call you it’s to ask for something. If you and your man can’t figure it out then y’all gonna be sol with me.

Someone recently asked me how I avoid giving people money. I said because I don’t attract these people like you do. Also, life has taught me “I ain’t got it” keeps those who tried it, far away.

 

[hopeful]

This girl that I went to undergrad with texted me today and said "When are we going to see each other again?" and I'm so tempted to text back "When you stop flaking" She's so flakey. That's why I haven't hung out with her in about a year.

I had to tell someone this once and her feelings were so hurt. But hey, my feelings were hurt all those times she flaked on me.

 

[KimPossibli]

I made a terrible decision...
I'm acknowledging I made a terrible decision regarding this trip and these friends...
now I'm going to step back and make the best of this bad situation
never again

smh

 

[kimpaur]

Who is the admin? Have them throw her out. My mother's brother started inviting all this "family" he "discovered". I left the group once they started contacting me and they/he couldn't tell us how we were related. I wasn't an admin so I couldn't do much.

Snatch her then throw her out!

Coward never replied to me.
How do I figure out who the admin is?

 

[Saludable84]

I made a terrible decision...
I'm acknowledging I made a terrible decision regarding this trip and these friends...
now I'm going to step back and make the best of this bad situation
never again

smh

Was this the birthday trip or am I confusing threads?