Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

hopeful said:
@Browndilocks I think I would let it go especially because of how she ghosted you and her not wanting to discuss anything. I learned the hard way that when people say let’s forget the past and just move forward it means they aren’t interested in changing or acknowledging your hurt. I would leave her and her baby in the past :). She really mistreated you.
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Thank you, I never even though of it that way. She was really quick to say there's no need for us to talk anything out.. let's just be BFFs again. All the while I'm like :huh:.
 
LdyKamz said:
@Browndilocks the nerve of her. She decided she didn't want to be friends anymore and you were supposed to accept that and now she decides she wants to be friends again and again you are supposed to accept that. So guess what, now she has to accept that you've moved on.
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This was the friend who you could 100% count on to not be there when she's in a relationship. I feel like since she's getting a divorce she wants a friend again, until she gets her next man. It was a nice feeling to speak to her again, but right after I got off the phone I was cool on her same way I've been for the past few years now.
 
My cousin can be low level annoying. A friend I know through my cousin put together a girl's trip. It's myself, my cousin, her and 2 other women. On one of the days we're taking a day trip to the Grand Canyon. My cousin keeps referring to it as "crap canyon" and it is so annoying. Like it was 2% funny the first time she said it because we were all like did she really just call it that. Now it's like ok, we got it, you don't want to see it. The girl organizing the trip already said if there's an activity you don't want to do you can hang back, you won't hurt her feelings.

To be even more annoying she asked if we were getting strippers. Strippers in the middle of Arizona?? For what? I'm sure she was joking but it wasn't even funny.

Anywho the Grand Canyon is on my bucket list so I'm looking forward to it
 
Browndilocks said:
So this person called me and I answered. She apologized and said she wants to be friends again. ...

She told me she wants to pick up and be the friends we were before as if nothing happened. She feels that there's no need to "have it out" about anything because it's not like we had any drama between us. She's going through a divorce now so maybe she's had time to think about the friend she ghosted? I miss her a little bit but not pressed to see her. Not sure if this kiddie game is worth my full adult time. What say you?
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Since she is currently going through a divorce, I have a different opinion. It is possible that she had isolated herself due to circumstances in her marriage (regardless of whatever was posted on social media). Sometimes it takes divorce to realize how much of yourself and your relationships with others you had lost. Calling to apologize is a big step. I agree that you may not want to resume the friendship exactly as it was before, but I think you should cautiously give her a chance, as a more casual friend.
 
Browndilocks said:
Thank you, I never even though of it that way. She was really quick to say there's no need for us to talk anything out.. let's just be BFFs again. All the while I'm like :huh:.
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Wow! What a mess! She tried it. She wants everything on her terms.

And sounds like you hit the nail on the head when you said, “I feel like since she's getting a divorce she wants a friend again, until she gets her next man.”

Girlfriend has a lot of nerve. It’s up to you to decide if you want to be bothered with her. She can’t just bust into and out of your life whenever she feels like it.
 
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I'm kind of getting angry about a situation with an ex-boyfriend wannabe friend. I'm trying to be rational about the situation and realize when I'm being too harsh and mean but I just can't believe the nerve of some people. I posted about this in the singles thread because the guy is an ex but there's really nothing between us now or ever again.

The whole time we were together he sort of took me for granted - never wanting to cement plans, asking for last minute dates like I didn't have anything better to do and sometimes going a couple weeks without even talking to me. He continued that attitude into our little friendship after our breakup. He would ignore text messages and invites to hang out and then would pop up months later expecting me to be ready to hang out with him. Eventually - as most people would - I got tired of all that. So I stopped responding to his texts only answering when I was bored. Recently, I hadn't heard from him in a couple months and he popped up asking to hang out with me on my actual birthday like I didn't have other friends or real people in my life who would want to hang with me. So I decline telling him I won't be free.

Later, I accepted an offer to have a drink on Thursday. He ignored me. Then want to come back and argue about me not making time for him on my birthday saying if I was tired he understood but I could have rescheduled. Just now I got a long arse text saying I act like I don't like him or want to deal with him. My thing is I don't dislike him at all. No reason to. But I explained maybe my attitude is based on his hot and cold behavior and just popping up whenever he wants.

I'm on my love and light kick so I'm not trying to intentionally be mean to anyone here but you aren't going to guilt me into ignoring your treatment of me because your little feelings are hurt. I acknowledged his feelings, explained my position and feel like I should leave it at that. Why do I have to constantly explain to you why what you do has hurt me several times but the 1 time you feel slighted it's the end of the world? I'm trying to learn a better way to deal with stuff like this.
 
oneastrocurlie said:
My cousin can be low level annoying. A friend I know through my cousin put together a girl's trip. It's myself, my cousin, her and 2 other women. On one of the days we're taking a day trip to the Grand Canyon. My cousin keeps referring to it as "crap canyon" and it is so annoying. Like it was 2% funny the first time she said it because we were all like did she really just call it that. Now it's like ok, we got it, you don't want to see it. The girl organizing the trip already said if there's an activity you don't want to do you can hang back, you won't hurt her feelings.

To be even more annoying she asked if we were getting strippers. Strippers in the middle of Arizona?? For what? I'm sure she was joking but it wasn't even funny.

Anywho the Grand Canyon is on my bucket list so I'm looking forward to it
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The pictures don't do it justice. It's really amazing, so don't allow anyone to prevent you from taking it all in and enjoying it to the fullest.
 
BonBon said:
Thanks hopeful :)

My group meet up went well and we all had fun.

The woman I got on with the most wants to meet this weekend for girly chat/dinner. Looking forward to it.
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Congrats on a successful event. And so happy you made a potential new friend :). Have fun.
 
I completely forgot what today was, and then I was reminded.

I was only a child when it happened, but still. That type of thing never fully leaves your head.
 
People are weird.

If you say you want to go out, complain nothing is going on, and then don't follow up with another suggestion or alternative for six hours you can guarantee I've either made other plans or lost interest.

Especially since the last time you said you wanted to go out, I found 3 things to do and you change your mind and stay in.

My time is valuable.
 
I never understand assuming someone not "liking" any of your million and one statuses to mean that they are stalking you, or creeping on your page.

Maybe they don't log into social media everyday, all day like you do.
Maybe they don't feel that your 50 posts a day, basically talking to your followers, is worth "liking"
Maybe you post too much about nothing and should find more productive ways to use up your time.
 
TwoSnapsUp said:
I never understand assuming someone not "liking" any of your million and one statuses to mean that they are stalking you, or creeping on your page.

Maybe they don't log into social media everyday, all day like you do.
Maybe they don't feel that your 50 posts a day, basically talking to your followers, is worth "liking"
Maybe you post too much about nothing and should find more productive ways to use up your time.
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People are obsessed with themselves LOL! They will post 50-11 things about god leveling them up and they don't need friends, and blah blah blah. Then when people don't like their little statuses or support one these fly by nigh businesses they start they mad. Like please go find something to do besides social media LOL!
 
Browndilocks said:
So this person called me and I answered. She apologized and said she wants to be friends again. She acknowledged that nothing happened between us and that she was just in one of her "moods". Her child is 3 now, so yeah, I haven't seen her in 3 years.

She told me she wants to pick up and be the friends we were before as if nothing happened. She feels that there's no need to "have it out" about anything because it's not like we had any drama between us. She's going through a divorce now so maybe she's had time to think about the friend she ghosted? I miss her a little bit but not pressed to see her. Not sure if this kiddie game is worth my full adult time. What say you?
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she's divorced now you say? I think she was going through her own stuff that had nothing to with you.
 
TwoSnapsUp said:
I never understand assuming someone not "liking" any of your million and one statuses to mean that they are stalking you, or creeping on your page.

Maybe they don't log into social media everyday, all day like you do.
Maybe they don't feel that your 50 posts a day, basically talking to your followers, is worth "liking"
Maybe you post too much about nothing and should find more productive ways to use up your time.
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Those posts are so hilariously thirsty. I know a "model" who does this often.
 
I love my mother, God knows I do, but sis every time she has some cocktails (and even when she’s sober to tell you the truth)she always talks about stuff that happened in the past. I’m stressed enough and I’m really not in the mood to be bothered with someone else’s problems. Yes, there’s jealousy and what not in the family, but I’m tired of being sad about it. I’m tired of hearing the same ol “she said, she did” :censored:

I’m worn freaking down and thisclose to having a nervous breakdown. I’m trying to find answers to my own problems not :deadhorse:

I need a freakin therapist.
 
I shouldn't be irritated by this but I am a little bit. Nobody asked me to do this but about a month or so ago I purchased an 8 week unlimited pasta bowl pass from The Olive Garden for a friend of mine (college roommate known her 20+ years). Because the passes sell out quick I had it sent to my address instead of looking up hers. I let her know then that I expected to receive the pass a week before it became active (9/24) and I would drive down to her place (50+ miles away) the weekend before to drop it off and we could hang out. I called her yesterday (Friday) and was like I'll be at a synagogue halfway between me and her today (Saturday) and that I could come by and bring her pass. She tells me she had already made dinner plans with other people so how about I come by on Sunday. I decided that instead of making that nearly 3 hour round trip drive 2 days in a row I would go to her house and put it in the mailbox then go find someplace to eat on my own so I called and left her a message saying that's what I was going to do.

I get there and she's home so I give her the pass plus 4 bottle of wine (whole nother story) and we ended up going to Starbucks and I paid. She didn't ask me for any of this I did it because I know that she's been having some money problems. Over the years, she has done a lot of nice things for me without being asked so this is a very reciprocal relationship. She's one of those people who I usually got to fight with on who is going to pay the check for dinner.

She didn't say it in a funky way but she mentioned that she wished I would have just come Sunday so we didn't have to rush and could have spent more time together. I told her she knew a month in advance that i would be coming this weekend so she should have kept both days clear. She said that she forgot. As I was sitting on the freeway on that hour plus slow roll back home I got more and more pissed about her forgetting about me lugging all this free (to her) :censored: almost to damn Mexico That's what google calendars are for! :mad:

I'll get over it but I still feel some kinda way.
 
So I just found out that my grandfathers wife died 10 months ago. No one told me. The woman was a female dog but she was his wife for 50 years before he passed and her death was like nothing to anyone. I have been crying and I don’t know why. I feel bad for her. Even her church people stopped visiting her after grandfather died. Her own kids do not talk to her (she disowned one for being gay). She was a nasty woman but I still feel bad for her. She was a great cook and introduced me to grits, chicken cooked with pork, smoked ham hocks in rice and peas. She did a mean southern soul food Jamaican food fusion. May she Rest In Peace. She was once someone’s innocent child before she too was tarnished by hard life and hard people...
 
Mini rant ahead....

Why do I always have to visit you? I've always lived in the suburbs and I enjoy driving, so in the past I didn't mind coming to you to visit. In fact, I preferred it. But about a year ago my husband and I bought our forever home, and it is really something special, so I thought you would want to visit me once to share in my joy. Our house is on 12 acres and is in this beautiful mountain setting with unbelievable views and national park like trees all around it.
I know you heard the excitement in my voice when I described how much I love living here. I even offered to come get you so that we could have a mini 'road trip" and listen to music and catch up while we visited on the way here. (It's 5 hours round trip). You told me you would check your calendar and let me know when a good day would be. We never talked about it again.

Anyway, it's been a year and you still haven't visited. I'm not even going to mention it anymore because obviously you must think that freeway only runs one direction.

But what's funny is last week you wanted to know when the next time would be that I would be in town to visit you. Girl, bye!
 
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