Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

I ate all these things this weekend so back to the gym today.
Brunch was good. My gf is doing too much and I had to have a chat with her. Taking her health for granted while attending to everyone but herself. I told her to get it together because when she dies her job will replace her and folks will carry on. Harsh but she needed it.
 
So I'm super tempted to take myself to that luxury movie theater by the seaport. But there's an AMC theater across the west side highway that is like the knock off luxury theater. Assigned seats, that recline and good food. At the luxury theater though the menu is more extensive. I feel like that's the only difference. Whether or not I want regular sliders or filet mignon sliders while I'm watching my movie. Decisions decisions. lol
 
Try the luxury theater at least once.


LdyKamz said:
So I'm super tempted to take myself to that luxury movie theater by the seaport. But there's an AMC theater across the west side highway that is like the knock off luxury theater. Assigned seats, that recline and good food. At the luxury theater though the menu is more extensive. I feel like that's the only difference. Whether or not I want regular sliders or filet mignon sliders while I'm watching my movie. Decisions decisions. lol
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I have a busy weekend ahead of me. I'm trying to pace myself. A family member is coming to town not to see me for an event. They want to meet up I will see how I feel. They aren't a fav and how this whole "visit" was initiated is leaving a bad taste in my mouth

I am having brunch with my gfs on Sunday and that should be super fun! We haven't been together in ages.
 
LdyKamz said:
So I'm super tempted to take myself to that luxury movie theater by the seaport. But there's an AMC theater across the west side highway that is like the knock off luxury theater. Assigned seats, that recline and good food. At the luxury theater though the menu is more extensive. I feel like that's the only difference. Whether or not I want regular sliders or filet mignon sliders while I'm watching my movie. Decisions decisions. lol
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I love that theater by the seaport. I take myself there during the day so that I have the theater all to myself (or almost all). I'll most likely see Mr. Glass there since that's where I saw Split. I am not a movie theater person but this one is great (I've always gotten VIP seating and if you sign up for the free membership, there is a discount for your seats.) Eating a meal (serviced), and drinking while enjoy my movie. :drunk:
 
TwoSnapsUp said:
I love that theater by the seaport. I take myself there during the day so that I have the theater all to myself (or almost all). I'll most likely see Mr. Glass there since that's where I saw Split. I am not a movie theater person but this one is great (I've always gotten VIP seating and if you sign up for the free membership, there is a discount for your seats.) Eating a meal (serviced), and drinking while enjoy my movie. :drunk:
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Which one? The luxury theater or the AMC theater?
 
My youngest sister is really trying me. I love her but being around her is stressing me out, making my anxiety worse and I'm over it. I don't know what she wants. I stayed over at my not-quite-official-SO's house last night in part because I wanted to be off the grid and away from her drama.

Now that the bar is over, I want to reconnect with my friends. Especially since I've been spending time with my not-quite-official-SO and I only had so much time and mental energy. Although I did have dinner with my college BFF while I was taking the bar since she lives close to the hotel where I was staying. I'm going on vacation with my family next weekend, I'm hoping I can catch up with one or both of my other BFFs before I leave.
 
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So I’m trying to plan something for my birthday next month and SO is helping me. This will be the first time I am actually planning something special for one of my birthdays. Anyway, I’m trying to decide what city to do it in, it would be easier financially to do it in SOs city. But I’m thinking of my friends/some family members and if they would be willing to travel. SOs city is only about an hour and a few minutes away.
SOs friends already said they are willing to come to my city or wherever it is I have it just to let them know the details. My friends or the one’s I asked said it depends on if they have anything going on and that they do have that weekend off. It would probably be easier for the people in my life to have it in my city.
But I’m kind of over trying to accommodate folks, I just don’t want to have something and only SOs friends show up. Though I do appreciate their support.
 
It’s interesting to see someone with more solid friends to realize yours may not be. It’s still crazy to me how SOs friends are so welling and joyous about supporting me for what ever it is I plan for my bday and they have only known me since April. Where as someone I consider a BFFs response was a depends on what her and her SO have going on and if nothing then sure they will come to an out of town function for my birthday. Something that I am letting them know is happening a month in advance.I wish I had more supportive people in my life.
 
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mz.rae said:
It’s interesting to see someone with more solid friends to realize yours may not be. It’s still crazy to me how SOs friends are so welling and joyous about supporting me for what ever it is I plan for my bday and they have only known me since April. Where as someone I consider a BFFs response was a depends on what her and her SO have going on and if nothing then sure they will come to an out of town function for my birthday. Something that I am letting them know is happening a month in advance.I wish I had more supportive people in my life.
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I'd be kinda hurt my that. She doesn't even have anything planned yet. I could see if her and her SO already had something going on.
 
You may need to reevaluate your friendships. I would have a convo with my bestie and let her know that this doesn't sit right with you. If she responds with BS then you know where you stand.

I give people I care about the chance to right their wrongs once I have brought the issue to them. I've had to have hard convos with folks about my expectations of them in our friendship. You don't get to just benefit.

In a lot of cases folks got their act together and we carried on. Those who didn't were moved to acquaintance status.

mz.rae said:
It’s interesting to see someone with more solid friends to realize yours may not be. It’s still crazy to me how SOs friends are so welling and joyous about supporting me for what ever it is I plan for my bday and they have only known me since April. Where as someone I consider a BFFs response was a depends on what her and her SO have going on and if nothing then sure they will come to an out of town function for my birthday. Something that I am letting them know is happening a month in advance.I wish I had more supportive people in my life.
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mz.rae said:
It’s interesting to see someone with more solid friends to realize yours may not be. It’s still crazy to me how SOs friends are so welling and joyous about supporting me for what ever it is I plan for my bday and they have only known me since April. Where as someone I consider a BFFs response was a depends on what her and her SO have going on and if nothing then sure they will come to an out of town function for my birthday. Something that I am letting them know is happening a month in advance.I wish I had more supportive people in my life.
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I am working on this myself and reading this I felt compelled to say to you: You should give yourself permission to be happy. Plan your party however YOU want, have fun, and enjoy whoever shows up — even if it’s just his friends. Be happy sweetheart. Celebrate another precious year of life. You deserve it. Sounds like your bff is no longer your bff and you are having a hard time accepting that. Sometimes you have to under function in a relationship to see where you stand with people. You are getting tired of accommodating other people so give yourself permission to stop doing that. I know, easier said than done. But you can do it :yep:. I wish you happiness.
 
oneastrocurlie said:
I'd be kinda hurt my that. She doesn't even have anything planned yet. I could see if her and her SO already had something going on.
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It definitely is hurtful especially since I would never do or say anything like that to her. I would have been like sure bestie I am down just let me know the details.

BrownBetty said:
You may need to reevaluate your friendships. I would have a convo with my bestie and let her know that this doesn't sit right with you. If she responds with BS then you know where you stand.

I give people I care about the chance to right their wrongs once I have brought the issue to them. I've had to have hard convos with folks about my expectations of them in our friendship. You don't get to just benefit.

In a lot of cases folks got their act together and we carried on. Those who didn't were moved to acquaintance status.
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I’m definitely reevauluating her place in my life. I’m done being supportive just to get half support or no support at all.

hopeful said:
I am working on this myself and reading this I felt compelled to say to you: You should give yourself permission to be happy. Plan your party however YOU want, have fun, and enjoy whoever shows up — even if it’s just his friends. Be happy sweetheart. Celebrate another precious year of life. You deserve it. Sounds like your bff is no longer your bff and you are having a hard time accepting that. Sometimes you have to under function in a relationship to see where you stand with people. You are getting tired of accommodating other people so give yourself permission to stop doing that. I know, easier said than done. But you can do it :yep:. I wish you happiness.
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Thank you so much! Your post was very well said and freeing. I’m getting ready to turn 30 and this is definitely the mindset I want to take into the next decade of my life. I’m done and over making accommodations for folks. It’s time to be happy for so long I have been sad and depressed about things. And I don’t want to live like that anymore. I’m seeing that some people are just going to have to get left in my 20s because they refuse to grow. I’m looking forward to all the new people who will be entering my life. And plan on having a ball for my 30th birthday!
 
I'm doing a swap of sweet treats with my friend in the UK. This girl has become one of my really good friends and I'm happy to have her. I call her a girl because even though she's in her late 20's now she is so innocent and sweet like a little girl. She gets excited over things like this and she keeps sending me pics of stuff from over there even though I said I want to be surprised. I told her as long as she don't send me no more beans and toast and stick to the chocolate we're golden. I'm trying to decide what else to send her that they don't have over there in the UK. I made a thread for suggestions but the mods moved it to the cooking forum almost immediately so I'm sure I won't get many responses now :(
 
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LdyKamz said:
I'm doing a swap of sweet treats with my friend in the UK. This girl has become one of my really good friends and I'm happy to have her. I call her a girl because even though she's in her late 20's now she is so innocent and sweet like a little girl. She gets excited over things like this and she keeps sending me pics of stuff from over there even though I said I want to be surprised. I told her as long as she don't send me no more beans and toast and stick to the chocolate we're golden. I'm trying to decide what else to send her that they don't have over there in the UK. I made a thread for suggestions but the mods moved it to the cooking forum almost immediately so I'm sure I won't get many responses now :(
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I hope you don’t mind. I am putting the link to your original post here. Reading it might help people in this thread understand what kind of suggestions you are asking for.

https://longhaircareforum.com/threa...e-in-the-u-s-that-the-u-k-doesnt-have.837341/

Good luck. Such a cute idea.
 
LdyKamz said:
I'm doing a swap of sweet treats with my friend in the UK. This girl has become one of my really good friends and I'm happy to have her. I call her a girl because even though she's in her late 20's now she is so innocent and sweet like a little girl. She gets excited over things like this and she keeps sending me pics of stuff from over there even though I said I want to be surprised. I told her as long as she don't send me no more beans and toast and stick to the chocolate we're golden. I'm trying to decide what else to send her that they don't have over there in the UK. I made a thread for suggestions but the mods moved it to the cooking forum almost immediately so I'm sure I won't get many responses now :(
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Can you get pralines where you are? Those are my fave, I don't know if they're sold outside New Orleans much though.
 
There is an older woman in my building, she's super sweet, but man can she talk. She is the kind of person who you just have to keep walking or you end up stuck down there for 30 minutes LOL! She has invited me to her church at least a dozen times, so I may visit this Sunday with DS. I am not a big church goer but I do enjoy some of the fellowship and social aspects of it.

I try to maximize my weekends, because during the week I am tired!
 
Just bought a bunch of charms from Pandora and ended up getting 3 free charm bracelets. I had to take advantage of this deal since today was the last day. My mother broke her Pandora bracelet I got her for Mother's Day a couple years ago and they don't make that one anymore so one of the free bracelets I picked is similar to her old one. She'll be so surprised! I'm keeping one for myself and the other one I'm giving to my sister for our birthday (so we'll have matching bracelets - she'll love that! lol) And I bought a bunch of charms to start her off with. She'll be so surprised too! No more shopping for me now.
 
Tonight I realized I have a friend I don't really like. As I maintain the relationship with myself and take care of myself I am finding it easier to weed people out. This particular friends has never done anything to me and for the most part I never had an issue with him. But last week we had planned to see a movie together. The night before I just felt like I didn't want to hang out with him so I canceled and ended up going by myself. A few days later he texted me and we chatted for a bit. The conversation wasn't bad but when we ended the conversation I felt kind of blah. Then yesterday he texted me something and I read the message and a light bulb just went off "I don't like him". I am trying to be honest with myself about why but I haven't come up with anything other than he's boring and doesn't add value to my life. He's kind of just taking up space. Since yesterday I've been reading his messages but not responding.
 
-I'm kind of salty that a friend of mine text messaged me directly to announce her engagement before announcing it on Facebook because she said she felt like we were close enough for me to be one of the people she tells first, but yet she did not invite me to her engagement party. And for the past couple of weeks she's been posting on Facebook repeatedly about how she's sending out engagement party invitations over Facebook messenger and text message and "All her closest friends and family are coming", yada yada. I kind of feel like she wants me to be salty over it, which is why I have not said anything to her. I've just been quiet other than a Facebook like here and there. We haven't spoken for a few weeks. I don't know, maybe I'm just being overly sensitive.

ETA: She has also posted several statuses about wanting to surround herself with engaged or married women (I'm neither). Which is understandable considering that she's newly engaged, but I think that plus the fact that I haven't been invited to the party is what's making me feel the way I do. It's like I was 'good enough' to hang out with when you and your man were still just in a relationship, but now that you're engaged things are different?

-Last week I went to an event for a new Meetup group I'm a part of and had a lot of fun. It seems like there's a cool group of girls in this group. A few of us have started a group chat to make plans to get brunch sometime next week.

-My younger sisters have moved to different states to go to school, so now I'm the only one of my siblings still living in Cali. My parents live about an hour away from me and I'm sort of worried that now that they're "empty nesters" they're going to try to demand more of my time by doing "pop up visits" lol.
 
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TwoSnapsUp said:
@Damaris.Elle

She is definitely being shady. Have you ever felt like she was in competition with you? I am surrounded by married friends and never have they made comments like that when they got engaged or even married, even if they secretly felt it.
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Not really, but then again people do sometimes get jealous/competitive over weird things...maybe there were really subtle signs that I didn't pick up on. The last time we hung out, I did notice that she kept asking me to spill tea about my love life and said a few times "I know you got tea", etc. ...but there really was no tea for me to spill lol. At the time I took it as her just trying to catch up since we hadn't seen each other for a while, but maybe she was hoping I'd say something negative.

I only have one married friend and when she got engaged a couple of years ago she never made comments like that either. So, I guess I'll continue to not give her any attention...I muted notifications from her on Facebook. I've heard people say before that weddings and all the events surrounding weddings can sometimes strain or even ruin friendships, but I've never personally had an experience like that until now.
 
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