Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

[caribeandiva]

My siblings and I and some of our friends are about to go see Black Panther tonight! That’s around 10 people total. We haven’t gone to see a movie together like that since The Hobbit came out. I’m so excited!!

 

[hopeful]

My siblings and I and some of our friends are about to go see Black Panther tonight! That’s around 10 people total. We haven’t gone to see a movie together like that since The Hobbit came out. I’m so excited!!

Have fun and enjoy! It’s fun going to the movies with a group.

 

[bellatiamarie]

For Valentines Day I prepped in advance. I brought myself flowers several days before because I didn't want the really nice bouquets taken. I put it in my bedroom on my dresser. Everyone morning I would wake up and look at my flowers. It really made me happy. I'm going to start a tradition to buy myself flowers.

I also brought two slices of cheesecake vanilla and chocolate a few days before to eat on Valentine's Day. It was delicious.

On Valentine's Day on my way to work I stopped by a church to get my ashes for Ash Wednesday. I thought it was so ironic that it fell on Valentine's Day. Even though I didn't have a man for Valentine's Day the ashes on my head reminded me that I am loved by the most high God. My coworker said she heard in the news that the last time Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday were on the same day was 75 years ago. I'm glad I'm alive and was able to experience it because I probably won't be able to again.

After work I went to a Virtual Investment Club that they were having at the library because I always wanted to learn how to invest. The workshop was amazing. It was free but with the amount of information I learned it could have easily been a paid course. The instructor was a black woman and she was so knowledgeable, sophisticated and funny. All in all it was a great Valentine's Day.

Lovely. I love days like this!

 

[caribeandiva]

Have fun and enjoy! It’s fun going to the movies with a group.

It sure is! The movie was amazing! It lived up to the hype and then some! Such a great story. If I wasn’t black already I would wanna be black after watching it. Well done Marvel!!

 

[MzLady78]

It sure is! The movie was amazing! It lived up to the hype and then some! Such a great story. If I wasn’t black already I would wanna be black after watching it. Well done Marvel!!

I'm catching a 5:15 showing today with my 4 cousins, can't wait!

 

[BrownBetty]

I'm catching a 5:15 showing today with my 4 cousins, can't wait!

I went with my cousin. We had a great time.

I went away last week. It was a great time. I believe I have made the turn on the consistent bouts of rage and anger about my busted trip. I'm glad I left town. I feel so much better.

 

[caribeandiva]

I'm catching a 5:15 showing today with my 4 cousins, can't wait!

You’re gonna have a blast! It’s the next day and I still can’t stop thinking about it. In fact as I speak my siblings and I are discussing and dissecting it. So many emotions so little time. I’ll be in the Black Panther thread if y’all need me.

 

[LdyKamz]

I went out to dinner with a friend of mine last night. And every time I hang out with this girl I am reminded how awesome she is. Nothing she did in particular made me feel that way but I genuinely love hanging out with her because it is such a regular experience. Regular in the fact that we have fun, we talk, we laugh, there's no drama, there's no gossip and no nasty/nice comments because we like and respect each other. I mentioned this before somewhere in this thread - wondering if there were people in the world who don't live just to complain and the universe planned our dinner to remind me that there are. Even when we have issues going on in our lives, we talk about it, give advice but don't dwell and move on. It is one of my friendships that never feels like a chore and I am grateful to have it. We had a great time and it snowed like crazy while I was walking back home and my feet were soaked but I didn't care because I had a great night with my friend.

Then I went home and called my sister and talked to her until 3am. It was a great conversation and we didn't argue or fight not once which hasn't happened in a long while. We laughed like we were children again and it felt so nice to be that close to my twin again.

Today I stayed in bed most of the day. I got up a while ago and did my face routine and moisturized my hair. I showered, put on one of my silky slips and equally silky robe and just ordered Chinese. Waiting for it now and then gonna go back to watching Extant on Amazon (it's a terrible show but I have a soft spot for Halle Berry).

This is the personal life I have always envisioned for myself. Not always sunshine and roses but generally peaceful. I'm trying to call it in as a reality and it seems to be working.

 

[Miss617]

A little while ago, my former high school best friend tagged me in a post on Facebook apologizing for disappearing from my life and said she hoped one day we could catch up. I said sure even though this is the second time she's done something like that with no follow up (the first was a text shortly after I got married lamenting that she wasn't there). I saw her downtown a few weeks ago when I was with my DH and DS, and she was with her wife. She was just like oh wow, so good to see you guys, this is your son, he's so handsome! Nothing about her Facebook post or any kind of explanation. Didn't hear from her after that.

Today she started following me on Instagram. I am just so confused.

 

[LdyKamz]

A little while ago, my former high school best friend tagged me in a post on Facebook apologizing for disappearing from my life and said she hoped one day we could catch up. I said sure even though this is the second time she's done something like that with no follow up (the first was a text shortly after I got married lamenting that she wasn't there). I saw her downtown a few weeks ago when I was with my DH and DS, and she was with her wife. She was just like oh wow, so good to see you guys, this is your son, he's so handsome! Nothing about her Facebook post or any kind of explanation. Didn't hear from her after that.

Today she started following me on Instagram. I am just so confused.

Someone who talks a good game with no intent on following through. I think we all know people like that. I ignore mine for the most part and congratulate them and/or send condolences accordingly and leave it there. She can keep talking about how you 2 should get together if that makes her feel better while you go on about your business.

 

[Miss617]

Someone who talks a good game with no intent on following through. I think we all know people like that. I ignore mine for the most part and congratulate them and/or send condolences accordingly and leave it there. She can keep talking about how you 2 should get together if that makes her feel better while you go on about your business.

Yeah, that's pretty much what I did both times. I was just like yeah, sure, we can catch up, but I wasn't gonna chase her since she's the one who dipped with no explanation. I was hurt by it at first but I got over it. I don't have the patience to keep dealing with people like that because she's not the first.

 

[MzLady78]

I went with my cousin. We had a great time.

I went away last week. It was a great time. I believe I have made the turn on the consistent bouts of rage and anger about my busted trip. I'm glad I left town. I feel so much better.

You’re gonna have a blast! It’s the next day and I still can’t stop thinking about it. In fact as I speak my siblings and I are discussing and dissecting it. So many emotions so little time. I’ll be in the Black Panther thread if y’all need me.

OMG. So. Freaking. Good.

I wanna see it again!

 

[MzLady78]

A little while ago, my former high school best friend tagged me in a post on Facebook apologizing for disappearing from my life and said she hoped one day we could catch up. I said sure even though this is the second time she's done something like that with no follow up (the first was a text shortly after I got married lamenting that she wasn't there). I saw her downtown a few weeks ago when I was with my DH and DS, and she was with her wife. She was just like oh wow, so good to see you guys, this is your son, he's so handsome! Nothing about her Facebook post or any kind of explanation. Didn't hear from her after that.

Today she started following me on Instagram. I am just so confused.

She's a flake, I wouldn't pay her any mind anymore.

 

[hopeful]

Happy for you @KammyGirl!

@Miss617 I know that is annoying. Just ignore her.

 

[ArrrBeee]

I went shopping and called a friend who lives near the store to join me. It was nice to catch up and get opinions on clothes.

After that, I visited a different friend's mom and chatted with her for awhile. My friend lives in another country so I took a picture of her mom and sent it to her. She messaged me back and said that it brought tears to her eyes and thanked me for being a good friend.

 

[LdyKamz]

@ArrrBeee That was very sweet of you.

 

[BrownBetty]

Back to the gym tomorrow. I've been on vacation and eating as if food has no calories No gym either.

I've had a great time but back to reality. I went to see black Panther again! Such a good time.

Have a great week ladies!!

 

[caribeandiva]

I just found out that a very close family friend, who was like an older sister to me, suddenly got sick and died this morning. She was 45. I’m devastated. I feel guilty that I didn’t get my crap together fast enough to help her get out of the hell she living in. If I had maybe she’d still be here today, succeeding and flourishing. I don’t know what to do. This sucks.

 

[PeaceFlow]

@caribeandiva

I'm very sorry for your loss .

Everyone has their own struggles and challenges to face. To get your life together and also another persons is not a small task. The fact you had her in your long term plans shows you were a great friend. Intentions matter. You did your best you could given your current circumstances. That's all we can wish for in a friend.

 

[hopeful]

I just found out that a very close family friend, who was like an older sister to me, suddenly got sick and died this morning. She was 45. I’m devastated. I feel guilty that I didn’t get my crap together fast enough to help her get out of the hell she living in. If I had maybe she’d still be here today, succeeding and flourishing. I don’t know what to do. This sucks.

When people die it is an almost automatic response to feel guilty, to feel like you are somehow responsible. But it wasn’t your job to save her or fix whatever her situation was. I’m so sorry she is gone but it absolutely wasn’t your fault and you have nothing to feel guilty about. You are going through the stages of grief. Guilt is one of the stages and very common. Take extra good care of yourself, ok? Get your rest, spend time with people who love you, make sure you eat.

ETA: Remember that you have been dealing with your own challenges and just finished getting your degree in December. You have been busy getting your own life on track.

 

[caribeandiva]

@caribeandiva

I'm very sorry for your loss .

Everyone has their own struggles and challenges to face. To get your life together and also another persons is not a small task. The fact you had her in your long term plans shows you were a great friend. Intentions matter. You did your best you could given your current circumstances. That's all we can wish for in a friend.

When people die it is an almost automatic response to feel guilty, to feel like you are somehow responsible. But it wasn’t your job to save her or fix whatever her situation was. I’m so sorry she is gone but it absolutely wasn’t your fault and you have nothing to feel guilty about. You are going through the stages of grief. Guilt is one of the stages and very common. Take extra good care of yourself, ok? Get your rest, spend time with people who love you, make sure you eat.

ETA: Remember that you have been dealing with your own challenges and just finished getting your degree in December. You have been busy getting your own life on track.

Thank you both. Your posts brought tears to my eyes. I’m grieving. I’m treating myself with kid gloves and just taking it easy for the next few days. No irrational decisions.

 

[MzLady78]

@caribeandiva

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Please don’t beat yourself up. We’ve both been on here long enough for me to know that you have a good heart, and I’m sure you did the best you could.

 

[caribeandiva]

@caribeandiva

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Please don’t beat yourself up. We’ve both been on here long enough for me to know that you have a good heart, and I’m sure you did the best you could.

Thank you

 

[MzLady78]

I talked to my mom today and I was telling her about all the BS and drama happening at work (I’m not supposed to know this, but I found out that they’re gonna offer me a position they know I’m not gonna want, and then offer me severance if I don’t take it). For once, I didn’t find her apathy annoying. It was kind of reassuring. I’ve been trying to maintain a “whatever happens, happens” attitude about it, and that’s pretty much how she lives her entire life.

 

[hopeful]

I talked to my mom today and I was telling her about all the BS and drama happening at work (I’m not supposed to know this, but I found out that they’re gonna offer me a position they know I’m not gonna want, and then offer me severance if I don’t take it). For once, I didn’t find her apathy annoying. It was kind of reassuring. I’ve been trying to maintain a “whatever happens, happens” attitude about it, and that’s pretty much how she lives her entire life.

Haha

 

[MzLady78]

Haha

Usually, I’m like “my God, woman, do you care about ANYTHING?”

But I’ve been in precarious situations with regards to my work life before, and I know how stressed out I can get about it. Like to the point where it starts to affect me physically. I need to be talked off the ledge as much as possible.

 

[LdyKamz]

I really hate when people come to my house and then complain about every single thing and when I tell them they can go home they sulk like I'm in the wrong. I do my best to make people comfortable when they come here but don't come over here saying it's too cold or too hot every 5 minutes, ask me for water and then ask why I buy that kind of water, use my bathroom and then ask why the space saver has a shelf with only decorative pieces. Sitting there being critical over every single thing like someone is holding them hostage here. When I give a blank look or say they are free to leave any time then I hear "Well since I'm not welcome I'm going home". The nerve of people who want the right to criticize freely and be negative without pushback. And then had the nerve to say I won't let them be them and ask questions in the way they ask questions like I should sit there and be talked to any old kind of way in my house. They can do and say whatever they want...outside my home. Bye!

 

[MzLady78]

I really hate when people come to my house and then complain about every single thing and when I tell them they can go home they sulk like I'm in the wrong. I do my best to make people comfortable when they come here but don't come over here saying it's too cold or too hot every 5 minutes, ask me for water and then ask why I buy that kind of water, use my bathroom and then ask why the space saver has a shelf with only decorative pieces. Sitting there being critical over every single thing like someone is holding them hostage here. When I give a blank look or say they are free to leave any time then I hear "Well since I'm not welcome I'm going home". The nerve of people who want the right to criticize freely and be negative without pushback. And then had the nerve to say I won't let them be them and ask questions in the way they ask questions like I should sit there and be talked to any old kind of way in my house. They can do and say whatever they want...outside my home. Bye!

What in the world?

Yeah...no. Go on ahead and take your arse home.

That’s ridiculous.

 

[LdyKamz]

What in the world?

Yeah...no. Go on ahead and take your arse home.

That’s ridiculous.

I said in a very sweet voice I'm not holding you hostage and then she sulked and started saying she wasn't feeling well. Smh It's so childish. How can someone not realize how rude they are being and when it is gently pointed out with a not so direct comment they get offended? It truly is mind boggling.

 

[hopeful]

I said in a very sweet voice I'm not holding you hostage and then she sulked and started saying she wasn't feeling well. Smh It's so childish. How can someone not realize how rude they are being and when it is gently pointed out with a not so direct comment they get offended? It truly is mind boggling.

You know it’s just really cruel. She’s kinda swiping at you passive aggressively. My therapist taught me the importance of protecting myself from mental anguish. We know what to do if someone hits us or yells at us or curses at us, but most of us aren’t prepared for this type of aggression. She was causing you mental anguish and you had every right to want her out of your home.

I can’t control the world or much outside my home, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to invite someone into my home, treat them hospitably, and allow them to treat me with aggression. You deserve peace and happiness in your home. Protect it at all costs. Your home is your safe place, where you should be able to completely let your guard down and just be. She was outright rude and next time, if there is a next time, you don’t have to be polite or speak in a sweet voice. Tell the truth. I invited you into my home and you are picking at me. I won’t tolerate it.

Kindness and appreciation should be a requirement of anyone who enters your home. It’s a non-negotiable.