Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

[BrownBetty]

I would kill someone.

And I can't believe your cousin said that. A true friend wouldn't have played with your money like that so no, if I were you I wouldn't do anything for the sake of friendship because there is no more friendship.

Every part of me feels this way. I told my cousin she had me messed all the way up because I wasn't talking to anyone about anything. 2017 was a really hard year for me. I was looking forward to this trip and to have it all come to a giant halt because your selfish self couldn't just say "hey plan w/o me and I will fit in if I can" . I mean up until 2 days before she told she wasn't going she told me she was buying a plane ticket. Liar... she apologized I didn't even acknowledge it. Idgaf...

 

[hopeful]

@BrownBetty
You have every right to be angry. Let off your steam. Get it out of your system. Learn whatever lessons are to be learned. Like did you have a “feeling” that something would go wrong? Was there already underlying tension or previous let downs? Then start planning another trip now so you can have something fun to look forward to. Maybe this time go with a tour group? I am so sorry this happened to you and that you were so disappointed — how frustrating!

Oh and no way would I be trying to talk to her and preserve the friendship—for what? Why? What would be the point?

 

[MzLady78]

I'm trying to deal with anger I've been feeling towards my ex-friend. We were suppose to go on vacation this week. We started planning last year. It is an expensive trip so we decided to split cost. At the last minute she pulls out. I'm talking last minute where I couldn't even plan around her dropping out. Apparently she knew in the fall there was a chance she couldn't go but neglected to tell me even though I informed her of what I was doing e.g. paying for our hotel, every step of the way.

My choices were either eat another $1000 in cost which would of brought the trip to a ridiculous amount or take the loss of $1500. I took the latter. So a bunch of folks I know are oversees having a great time and I am home -$1500. Every time it crosses my mind I get angry and want to fight her.

My cousin told me when I stop being mad that I should initiate a conversation for the "sake of our friendship" . I told her I'm not interested in rekindling a friendship. She played on my trust that I had in her and waited to the last minute to cancel on me. Knowing full well how much I was looking forward to going away. As if $1000+ is a small amount of money.

I'm very discerning about who I call friend and I feel like she tricked me all this time about who she is. You get one time and one time only to fool me. We have mutual friends so hopefully by May I can see her and not throw hands.

Your cousin needs to have all the seats.

I’m sorry you had to deal with this. Part of the reason I travel solo more often than not is for exactly this reason. For my birthday trip I just got back from, I had 2 cousins swearing they were coming up to like a month before I was leaving. But I knew they weren’t since they hadn’t coughed up any money or booked a flight, and planned on it just being me and my sis.

 

[BrownBetty]

I'm trying. There were no signs, nothing. We've traveled together before there wasn't anything different. She isn't a planner so I did what I usually did. Get things together and tell her what she needed to pay for. She was all in every step of the way. That is what pissed me off. She could of said something before I paid for the hotel, before I bought my ticket but no she waited and was comfortable with canceling last minute. I usually can glean the lesson from most situations but this here has me puzzled.

I do know that we can't be anything to each other. Even she if gave me all the money I lost I would never trust her again with anything. I am a really good friend. I'm not unreasonable. When things changed in the fall for her she could of told me and I would of been fine. I would of reworked the trip.

@BrownBetty
You have every right to be angry. Let off your steam. Get it out of your system. Learn whatever lessons are to be learned. Like did you have a “feeling” that something would go wrong? Was there already underlying tension or previous let downs? Then start planning another trip now so you can have something fun to look forward to. Maybe this time go with a tour group? I am so sorry this happened to you and that you were so disappointed — how frustrating!

Oh and no way would I be trying to talk to her and preserve the friendship—for what? Why? What would be the point?

 

[BrownBetty]

I agree at solo travel. I've known this chick for 10+ years. This just threw me.

Thanks for the support ladies. I'm going away this week because I know if I stay here you all would have to contribute to my gofundme for bail.

Your cousin needs to have all the seats.

I’m sorry you had to deal with this. Part of the reason I travel solo more often than not is for exactly this reason. For my birthday trip I just got back from, I had 2 cousins swearing they were coming up to like a month before I was leaving. But I knew they weren’t since they hadn’t coughed up any money or booked a flight, and planned on it just being me and my sis.

 

[hopeful]

I'm trying. There were no signs, nothing. We've traveled together before there wasn't anything different. She isn't a planner so I did what I usually did. Get things together and tell her what she needed to pay for. She was all in every step of the way. That is what pissed me off. She could of said something before I paid for the hotel, before I bought my ticket but no she waited and was comfortable with canceling last minute. I usually can glean the lesson from most situations but this here has me puzzled.

I do know that we can't be anything to each other. Even she if gave me all the money I lost I would never trust her again with anything. I am a really good friend. I'm not unreasonable. When things changed in the fall for her she could of told me and I would of been fine. I would of reworked the trip.

I think the lesson is in the bolded part. You kind of planned trips for you two like she was a child. You had become accustomed to doing so. She appeared to be all in but all in as an adult is sharing in responsibility. She was allowed to sit back while you did the planning, put yourself out there financially. She was allowed to be spoiled and enjoy your hard work. That’s not fair, planner or not. I am not blaming you at all. Just trying to see if there was a lesson. But as I said before, move forward and get to planning your next trip! Enjoy 2018 dear. Don’t trip chocolate chip . There is a big world out there waiting for you.

 

[BrownBetty]

You know what your are right. Never again! Thanks @hopeful .

I think the lesson is in the bolded part. You kind of planned trips for you two like she was a child. You had become accustomed to doing so. She appeared to be all in but all in as an adult is sharing in responsibility. She was allowed to sit back while you did the planning, put yourself out there financially. She was allowed to be spoiled and enjoy your hard work. That’s not fair, planner or not. I am not blaming you at all. Just trying to see if there was a lesson. But as I said before, move forward and get to planning your next trip! Enjoy 2018 dear. Don’t trip chocolate chip . There is a big world out there waiting for you.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Had brunch with my home girl at this really good restaurant I’d been wanting to try. Good catch up and start to the week. Hope everyone enjoyed their weekends!

 

[gimbap]

I just think it's another way to make something that men do=good, should be upheld and repeated.

Yep, you nailed it. When I refused to send a dude pics, this was his come back. I told him If you're so visual, you can see me in person. We live literally 5 miles away from each other. I got crickets

 

[BrownBetty]

Had brunch with my home girl at this really good restaurant I’d been wanting to try. Good catch up and start to the week. Hope everyone enjoyed their weekends!

Same! We ate all the food and drank all the drinks... I had a great time!

 

[caribeandiva]

Yep, you nailed it. When I refused to send a dude pics, this was his come back. I told him If you're so visual, you can see me in person. We live literally 5 miles away from each other. I got crickets

I love it!!

 

[caribeandiva]

I’ve had a cold since Friday. I’m taking cold and flu medicine and drinking homemade remedies. I mostly rested this weekend. Keyword mostly. Yesterday (Saturday) I spent the day at a long time friend’s house. I hadn’t seen her since the sleepover at her sister’s house (which I posted about in this thread back in August). Anyway this friend is newly married and is now a new mom. So she doesn’t get out much (that’s why that sleepover was so important but her brother in law messed it up with the Mayweather fight but I digress — see post back in August). I volunteered to cook for them since they joke that they’ve never seen me cook (which is true ) and do I even know how. They were excited and we went shopping and they bought all the ingredients. I had a blast cooking for them and made typical Haitian food (black rice and beans, chicken in chicken sauce). They were shocked at how good the food was. No one was more shocked than me that it turned out well since my taste buds are still messed up from this dang cold I caught. Afterwards they were like: “we know you ain’t leaving yet. You got nothing to do at home anyway so just spend the whole day with us”. I did and had a blast playing with their infant son who’s just started to crawl. I call him the human Rumba since he crawls on his stomach and cleans the floors as he goes. No wonder their floor was looking so extra clean! I showed my friend how to get her hair healthy but all the details are in the Shea butter thread in the hair forum. She showed me how to make homemade cold medicine. All in all it was good and needed.

 

[hopeful]

Hey ladies,
Any non-romantic plans for Valentine’s Day? I have always loved Valentine’s Day and never saw it as only or even primarily a romantic holiday. I love giving V-Day cards to girlfriends and relatives. And I love treating myself. I bought myself a really cute teddy bear, flowers are coming to my house on Wednesday, and I’m trying to decide on one more special thing to do for me. Maybe a massage or a pedicure? I hope all of you have a wonderful week and a very Happy Valentine’s Day.

 

[sarumoki]

Hey ladies,
Any non-romantic plans for Valentine’s Day? I have always loved Valentine’s Day and never saw it as only or even primarily a romantic holiday. I love giving V-Day cards to girlfriends and relatives. And I love treating myself. I bought myself a really cute teddy bear, flowers are coming to my house on Wednesday, and I’m trying to decide on one more special thing to do for me. Maybe a massage or a pedicure? I hope all of you have a wonderful week and a very Happy Valentine’s Day.

Why not both the massage and the pedicure?

I'm having flowers sent to my mom, aunts, and grandma. But really all of the bouquets will be delivered to my grandma's house because no one else will be home on Wednesday.

 

[caribeandiva]

Vday is my sister’s birthday. I’m gonna spend the day making her feel special.

 

[Evolving78]

Hey ladies,
Any non-romantic plans for Valentine’s Day? I have always loved Valentine’s Day and never saw it as only or even primarily a romantic holiday. I love giving V-Day cards to girlfriends and relatives. And I love treating myself. I bought myself a really cute teddy bear, flowers are coming to my house on Wednesday, and I’m trying to decide on one more special thing to do for me. Maybe a massage or a pedicure? I hope all of you have a wonderful week and a very Happy Valentine’s Day.

I’m gonna make some cookies for my babies. I’m going to give myself a pedicure and mani. I’m gonna text my family with an I love you message.

 

[OneShinyface]

I love Valentine's Day as well. I've decorated my house with red, pink and white lights, scored from Target. I have a heart-themed table runner from Crate and Barrel and red roses decorating my breakfast nook table and I have a beautiful faux red rose wreath on my front door from Pier 1. I plan to take myself to one of my favorite restaurants for dinner and drinks. I usually sit at the bar and chat with other diners.

I've come a long way since my first Valentine's Day alone in 2014.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

I forgot all about Valentine's Day, I will pick up some pretty flowers for my office and home. That always makes me happy.

 

[MzLady78]

Meh, as far as I'm concerned, it's just Wednesday. I just had a great birthday and trip. It's a long weekend, hopefully I'm going out to my cousin's and we're seeing Black Panther. I'm good.

 

[LdyKamz]

My mom made me a V-day gift bag. She's cute sometimes. I got a cute little mug, some chocolate, some gummy hearts candy and a sweet handwritten card. And she bought me a new plant. She made a similar bag for my sister and another one for my cousin's 1 year old daughter (the baby is my mother's grand niece but my mom acts like she's the grandma lol)

 

[MzLady78]

My mom made me a V-day gift bag. She's cute sometimes. I got a cute little mug, some chocolate, some gummy hearts candy and a sweet handwritten card. And she bought me a new plant. She made a similar bag for my sister and another one for my cousin's 1 year old daughter (the baby is my mother's grand niece but my mom acts like she's the grandma lol)

Aww, this is so sweet, love it!

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I keep telling folks to stop including me in group texts and they keep doing it. I don't care Homegirl getting blocked until she get some act right. Knowing me for 20 years should mean you understand that when I say don't do something I mean don't do it. Got my phone dinging every other minute with some randoms with bad texting grammar writing bad cliche lines about Valentines and love and their loser lives. F O H. Nobody cares. Go away.

 

[Evolving78]

I keep telling folks to stop including me in group texts and they keep doing it. I don't care Homegirl getting blocked until she get some act right. Knowing me for 20 years should mean you understand that when I say don't do something I mean don't do it. Got my phone dinging every other minute with some randoms with bad texting grammar writing bad cliche lines about Valentines and love and their loser lives. F O H. Nobody cares. Go away.

I hate group text!!! I put people on don’t disturb.

 

[LushLox]

My son always gives me a soppy card, I love it!

 

[qchelle]

How fun! Sounds pretty qchelle. Hope it turns out how you want!

It turned out even better than I expected!!!! Absolutely loving this hair!!

 

[Ganjababy]

Tired...

 

[hopeful]

Tired...

(((Hugs)))

 

[Crackers Phinn]

ME: Ben is a little a-hole and somebody really need to get him together before he messes around and really hurts himself or somebody else.

In-Laws: He's just rambunctious.

ME: He doesn't have any boundaries and he doesn't listen but ok he ain't my kid. You see he don't talk to me how he talks to everybody else.

Today's Group Text: Ben accidentally shot himself in the eye with his BB gun. He's getting out of emergency, it turns out he just grazed his cornea very lucky. We'll be at xxxx's house come by later.

ME: Who gave him a gun?

 

[hopeful]

@Crackers Phinn That’s crazy!

 

[NaturalEnigma]

For Valentines Day I prepped in advance. I brought myself flowers several days before because I didn't want the really nice bouquets taken. I put it in my bedroom on my dresser. Everyone morning I would wake up and look at my flowers. It really made me happy. I'm going to start a tradition to buy myself flowers.

I also brought two slices of cheesecake vanilla and chocolate a few days before to eat on Valentine's Day. It was delicious.

On Valentine's Day on my way to work I stopped by a church to get my ashes for Ash Wednesday. I thought it was so ironic that it fell on Valentine's Day. Even though I didn't have a man for Valentine's Day the ashes on my head reminded me that I am loved by the most high God. My coworker said she heard in the news that the last time Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday were on the same day was 75 years ago. I'm glad I'm alive and was able to experience it because I probably won't be able to again.

After work I went to a Virtual Investment Club that they were having at the library because I always wanted to learn how to invest. The workshop was amazing. It was free but with the amount of information I learned it could have easily been a paid course. The instructor was a black woman and she was so knowledgeable, sophisticated and funny. All in all it was a great Valentine's Day.