Men-free Zone ~ The Non-romantic Relationship Thread

I feel like I am too enmeshed in my family if that's such a thing...? I need to disconnect. I can't get my own stuff together because I'm too busy worrying about everybody else's.
 
I get the frustration. My mother pulls the same thing sometimes. But it's her day. Let her be difficult and when your birthday or other milestone comes around remind her how good of a daughter you were by changing plans last minute and trooping in the rain for her. Lol


:lol: Seriously.

I actually had a feeling she was gonna do this when I heard the weather was gonna be bad. On the plus side, I won't spend as much as if we'd gone out.

My little cousin's graduation party is today, but I don't really feel like leaving the house. I think I'm gonna try to get some reading done instead.
 
I can't stand when people get mad at you over situations they created.

I had a friend who was planning a girls trip to AC for her birthday weekend. Okay, cool. I took the time off. Everyone but me dropped out, and she was telling me she didn't want to go anymore. I told her let's go just the two of us, I already took the time off work and didn't want to waste it. She dragged her feet with "Oh, I don't know, we'll see, I don't feel like it, what's the point." Okay, fine. I started looking into places that I could go alone for the weekend, and eventually my boyfriend told me that he was taking that weekend off so that we could go somewhere together.

That trip has already been booked and paid for, but now this week the same friend texts me and says that one more friend joined in the trip so now it's back on. I told her "Sorry boo, wish I had known, bf and I are going away that weekend." She went off on me, saying "See this is what I mean, my birthday plans never work out, I don't know why I even bothered, etc." And then she hasn't responded to any of my texts. *sigh* And this is why I don't like Geminis.
 
I can't stand when people get mad at you over situations they created.

I had a friend who was planning a girls trip to AC for her birthday weekend. Okay, cool. I took the time off. Everyone but me dropped out, and she was telling me she didn't want to go anymore. I told her let's go just the two of us, I already took the time off work and didn't want to waste it. She dragged her feet with "Oh, I don't know, we'll see, I don't feel like it, what's the point." Okay, fine. I started looking into places that I could go alone for the weekend, and eventually my boyfriend told me that he was taking that weekend off so that we could go somewhere together.

That trip has already been booked and paid for, but now this week the same friend texts me and says that one more friend joined in the trip so now it's back on. I told her "Sorry boo, wish I had known, bf and I are going away that weekend." She went off on me, saying "See this is what I mean, my birthday plans never work out, I don't know why I even bothered, etc." And then she hasn't responded to any of my texts. *sigh* And this is why I don't like Geminis.

She has some nerve.

So you were just supposed to sit around and wait for her to make up her mind? Why wasn't just you and her going good enough to begin with? One more person really isn't gonna make that much of a difference.

I know I complain about not having friends, but sometimes, they seem overrated. :look:
 
I can't stand when people get mad at you over situations they created.

I had a friend who was planning a girls trip to AC for her birthday weekend. Okay, cool. I took the time off. Everyone but me dropped out, and she was telling me she didn't want to go anymore. I told her let's go just the two of us, I already took the time off work and didn't want to waste it. She dragged her feet with "Oh, I don't know, we'll see, I don't feel like it, what's the point." Okay, fine. I started looking into places that I could go alone for the weekend, and eventually my boyfriend told me that he was taking that weekend off so that we could go somewhere together.

That trip has already been booked and paid for, but now this week the same friend texts me and says that one more friend joined in the trip so now it's back on. I told her "Sorry boo, wish I had known, bf and I are going away that weekend." She went off on me, saying "See this is what I mean, my birthday plans never work out, I don't know why I even bothered, etc." And then she hasn't responded to any of my texts. *sigh* And this is why I don't like Geminis.

She cancelled the plans. You made other plans. She will deal. I wouldn't even feel bad since SHE decided to cancel.
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I feel like I am too enmeshed in my family if that's such a thing...? I need to disconnect. I can't get my own stuff together because I'm too busy worrying about everybody else's.

I understand. Loving and caring is good. Enmeshment is unhealthy and creates the exact situation you described. Good luck with maintaining the relationships while also untangling yourself from being overly involved in other people's lives. You deserve to take good care of yourself and to pursue the things that are important to you.
 
I can't stand when people get mad at you over situations they created.

I had a friend who was planning a girls trip to AC for her birthday weekend. Okay, cool. I took the time off. Everyone but me dropped out, and she was telling me she didn't want to go anymore. I told her let's go just the two of us, I already took the time off work and didn't want to waste it. She dragged her feet with "Oh, I don't know, we'll see, I don't feel like it, what's the point." Okay, fine. I started looking into places that I could go alone for the weekend, and eventually my boyfriend told me that he was taking that weekend off so that we could go somewhere together.

That trip has already been booked and paid for, but now this week the same friend texts me and says that one more friend joined in the trip so now it's back on. I told her "Sorry boo, wish I had known, bf and I are going away that weekend." She went off on me, saying "See this is what I mean, my birthday plans never work out, I don't know why I even bothered, etc." And then she hasn't responded to any of my texts. *sigh* And this is why I don't like Geminis.

I'm so glad you were able to plan something else fun for yourself. She gambled by keeping you hanging and lost :look:, oh well:).
 
Another ex-friend keeps inviting me to see her new business venture about retirement planning. I was shocked that she reached out to begin with cuz we've been ignoring each other for over 8 years now. 1. You betrayed me and back stabbed me which is why our 7 years of being best friends ended (her jealousy was palpable). I don't trust you! And 2. I already told your other business partner that I wasn't interested when you told them to call me. But homegirl (ex-bff) keeps calling. 3. I've got my retirement handled and I'm not looking to change anything. I agreed to go her presentation tonight, tell her that she's wasting her time and forget this ever happened. Even if this is a good business idea I refuse to partner up with someone I don't completely trust.
 
I understand. Loving and caring is good. Enmeshment is unhealthy and creates the exact situation you described. Good luck with maintaining the relationships while also untangling yourself from being overly involved in other people's lives. You deserve to take good care of yourself and to pursue the things that are important to you.

Yes, thank you. You're right. I need time and space away from them. They rely on me too much.
 
Another ex-friend keeps inviting me to see her new business venture about retirement planning. I was shocked that she reached out to begin with cuz we've been ignoring each other for over 8 years now. 1. You betrayed me and back stabbed me which is why our 7 years of being best friends ended (her jealousy was palpable). I don't trust you! And 2. I already told your other business partner that I wasn't interested when you told them to call me. But homegirl (ex-bff) keeps calling. 3. I've got my retirement handled and I'm not looking to change anything. I agreed to go her presentation tonight, tell her that she's wasting her time and forget this ever happened. Even if this is a good business idea I refuse to partner up with someone I don't completely trust.

If I were you I would not attend the event. Or plan to pop in quickly and leave at a set time. She really doesn't deserve anything from you and should leave you alone. You will likely have to block her hard and KIM. Good luck.
 
If I were you I would not attend the event. Or plan to pop in quickly and leave at a set time. She really doesn't deserve anything from you and should leave you alone. You will likely have to block her hard and KIM. Good luck.
I took your advice and popped in and out quickly. I got there 15 minutes early and left after 5 minutes. She wasn't there! I greeted the hosts, told them who invited me and told them I wasn't staying. Of course they wanted to know why. I just said I wasn't interested. Then one of them asked again why, do I know what they do? and I repeated: "I'm not interested. I don't wanna waste my time or yours. I just came by to tell ex-bff that in person". She stared at me so I stared right back at her. She finally broke the silence and told me it was nice to meet me. 5 minutes AFTER the meeting was supposed to have started, ex-bff called me to let me she was gonna be late. Yes, she called me after she was already late. I'm like: I stopped by but left 15 minutes ago. Thanks for the invite but I'm not interested. She tried to reason with me but I stuck to my guns and cut the conversation short. If she calls again to invite me to more stuff, she'll be blocked. I hate when people don't respect my NO.
 
What do you think has led you to be enmeshed with your family? Sometimes outside "distractions" and tasks serve as diversions.

Well, it doesn't help that I'm living with them at the time while my house is undergoing renovations. I've just always been the one that everyone calls upon and over the years as family members age and their needs change, I get called upon more and more. I'm so tired. I just want to worry about myself for just a little while.

I'll be going away on vacation for 7 days in the beginning of June. I'm hoping that will help give me the clarity I need to at least get thru the summer. I have to get a plan in place and delegate some of these responsibilities.
 
My strange week continues. I texted my cousin yesterday to catch up since I hadn't seen her in 2 weeks. We normally hang out al least every other weekend. We're very close, grew up together and all. We are blunt and honest with each when we see the other messing up, etc... so we don't have to walk on eggshells around each other. She tells me she has a new job. I'm like: cool, where do you work now? She ignored my question and stopped texting. I figured that she's busy or forgot to text back. So they next day I texted her asking if she was ok since we stopped talking so abruptly yesterday. She said she was ok. I said you told me you had a new job. Where do you work now?" She said: "I'm working somewhere else ok?" As in, end of conversation, drop it. I'm taken aback by that.

So to avoid any misunderstandings, I send her a voice note telling her that "I respect her decision to not tell me, she has a right to privacy and that even though I don't understand what's going on with her that I'm not gonna keep pressing the issue. I also said that I think she's acting suspiciously and secretive but I get it. I'm not mad at her. Have a nice day. See you around."

Well she then texts me back saying that my biggest weakness is that I'm too curious (I'm guessing she meant nosy) and that I can investigate her if I want. I send her another voice note telling her thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate it (I meant it) and why would I investigate her when that's none of my business.

I thought we were closer than this. Ironically the first time I texted her was to tell her about my new job situation! Wth?
 
My strange week continues. I texted my cousin yesterday to catch up since I hadn't seen her in 2 weeks. We normally hang out al least every other weekend. We're very close, grew up together and all. We are blunt and honest with each when we see the other messing up, etc... so we don't have to walk on eggshells around each other. She tells me she has a new job. I'm like: cool, where do you work now? She ignored my question and stopped texting. I figured that she's busy or forgot to text back. So they next day I texted her asking if she was ok since we stopped talking so abruptly yesterday. She said she was ok. I said you told me you had a new job. Where do you work now?" She said: "I'm working somewhere else ok?" As in, end of conversation, drop it. I'm taken aback by that.

So to avoid any misunderstandings, I send her a voice note telling her that "I respect her decision to not tell me, she has a right to privacy and that even though I don't understand what's going on with her that I'm not gonna keep pressing the issue. I also said that I think she's acting suspiciously and secretive but I get it. I'm not mad at her. Have a nice day. See you around."

Well she then texts me back saying that my biggest weakness is that I'm too curious (I'm guessing she meant nosy) and that I can investigate her if I want. I send her another voice note telling her thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate it (I meant it) and why would I investigate her when that's none of my business.

I thought we were closer than this. Ironically the first time I texted her was to tell her about my new job situation! Wth?

Yikes. What is that about? It's pretty standard for people to ask where when you tell them you have a new job, you didn't do anything wrong.
 
Yikes. What is that about? It's pretty standard for people to ask where when you tell them you have a new job, you didn't do anything wrong.
Thank you! Now I'm thinking: did you become a stripper? Did you get a sugar daddy? I don't care where she works as long as it's not illegal or immoral. I'm guessing she took a job that is looked down on such as janitorial work and such. Oh well. It's her life.
 
My strange week continues. I texted my cousin yesterday to catch up since I hadn't seen her in 2 weeks. We normally hang out al least every other weekend. We're very close, grew up together and all. We are blunt and honest with each when we see the other messing up, etc... so we don't have to walk on eggshells around each other. She tells me she has a new job. I'm like: cool, where do you work now? She ignored my question and stopped texting. I figured that she's busy or forgot to text back. So they next day I texted her asking if she was ok since we stopped talking so abruptly yesterday. She said she was ok. I said you told me you had a new job. Where do you work now?" She said: "I'm working somewhere else ok?" As in, end of conversation, drop it. I'm taken aback by that.

So to avoid any misunderstandings, I send her a voice note telling her that "I respect her decision to not tell me, she has a right to privacy and that even though I don't understand what's going on with her that I'm not gonna keep pressing the issue. I also said that I think she's acting suspiciously and secretive but I get it. I'm not mad at her. Have a nice day. See you around."

Well she then texts me back saying that my biggest weakness is that I'm too curious (I'm guessing she meant nosy) and that I can investigate her if I want. I send her another voice note telling her thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate it (I meant it) and why would I investigate her when that's none of my business.

I thought we were closer than this. Ironically the first time I texted her was to tell her about my new job situation! Wth?
Maybe she's embarrassed by the job but no need to take that out on you. If she didn't want you to know then she shouldn't have mentioned it. My sister is secretive like this but she'll also add that she just doesn't want to tell me and I laugh and leave it alone.

People have this terrible habit of turning their issues into yours. She didn't want to tell you where she worked so she turned it into finding fault with you. You're too curious? It's part of the convo. Don't let it bother you. I was going to say from the way you describe your relationship in the beginning of the post I would call her out. But to avoid an argument since something is already bothering her, I would just leave it alone.
 
Maybe she's embarrassed by the job but no need to take that out on you. If she didn't want you to know then she shouldn't have mentioned it. My sister is secretive like this but she'll also add that she just doesn't want to tell me and I laugh and leave it alone.

People have this terrible habit of turning their issues into yours. She didn't want to tell you where she worked so she turned it into finding fault with you. You're too curious? It's part of the convo. Don't let it bother you. I was going to say from the way you describe your relationship in the beginning of the post I would call her out. But to avoid an argument since something is already bothering her, I would just leave it alone.
Exactly! It's the first thing she mentioned in our conversation. I wouldn't have known about it if SHE didn't bring it up. Then she picked a fight about it. I chose not to engage and that's probably what pissed her off more. Like you said it's not about me and it never was. Something else is bothering her. I'll give her space for now.
 
Water is leaking from the ceiling and the neighbors aren't answering their door. I had to cancel an important appointment so I can be here for the maintenance man to come. Ugh!

My staycation is becoming a nightmare.
 
Maintenance came. There's nothing that could be done since no one upstairs is answering. The leak isn't bad enough where they need to break into the apt. He left a note on their door to call the office when they get home. Sigh! I want a drink.
 
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