"men Dont Love Women Like You"

[SpiritJunkie]

@silverbuttons Awww....just let the man chase you down. He has a crush on YOU!! the guy i'm dating was like this...he was relentless...i kept saying no...no ...no and he wouldn't give up. LOL....

he tells people this story every time we out. smh

p.s. till gotta keeps these men on their toes though

 

[PrissiSippi]

Some of our friends just aint ready. Like mine who just stayed in defense mode on everything he said.

I must not be ready. Like I need a step by step to do guide. I literally don't understand what to do and live in fairytale land. Reading this thread I think my getting hurt is because of my personality as well likeole girl. I am TOO HELPING. I will give anyone the shirt off of my back which is good but men Essentially don't want this.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

I spent some time with an old friend who is divorced ( no fault of his) and looking for a mate. He basically told me - they don't make them like me anymore. He wants a smart woman who worships him while still being intellectually he equal. I told him he needs to sate teachers and nurses because doctors and lawyers are generally not going to have the personality he needs. But he wants someone who can match his income...for no other reason that he thinks that's what is expected of a guy like him. I think he gets it now....

 

[SurferBabe]

I spent some time with an old friend who is divorced ( no fault of his) and looking for a mate. He basically told me - they don't make them like me anymore. He wants a smart woman who worships him while still being intellectually he equal. I told him he needs to sate teachers and nurses because doctors and lawyers are generally not going to have the personality he needs. But he wants someone who can match his income...for no other reason that he thinks that's what is expected of a guy like him. I think he gets it now....

What type of income is that?

This sounds like something a beta would say/expect.

 

[C@ssandr@]

I must not be ready. Like I need a step by step to do guide. I literally don't understand what to do and live in fairytale land. Reading this thread I think my getting hurt is because of my personality as well likeole girl. I am TOO HELPING. I will give anyone the shirt off of my back which is good but men Essentially don't want this.

This could be a boundary issue. Men (and women) don't want someone who lacks boundaries. Do you have trouble telling people "no"? Are you always going above and beyond, but not always feeling good about it? These things fall under poor personal boundaries.

 

[LBoogie85]

I spent some time with an old friend who is divorced ( no fault of his) and looking for a mate. He basically told me - they don't make them like me anymore. He wants a smart woman who worships him while still being intellectually he equal. I told him he needs to sate teachers and nurses because doctors and lawyers are generally not going to have the personality he needs. But he wants someone who can match his income...for no other reason that he thinks that's what is expected of a guy like him. I think he gets it now....

What do you think the personality differences are between teachers/nurses and doctors/lawyers? Do you think the former are more nurturing and the latter are more "type A"? Is he looking for a nurturing woman who makes a lot of money?

 

[Femmefatal1981]

What do you think the personality differences are between teachers/nurses and doctors/lawyers? Do you think the former are more nurturing and the latter are more "type A"? Is he looking for a nurturing woman who makes a lot of money?

You got it. His mother died when were were in school so he is looking for a nurturing woman he can build a family with. I think he is going to let the money thing go because it's not really relevant to what he wants in a spouse. I think he just expects a 30-35 yr old woman to be in a certain place career wise.

 

[PrissiSippi]

This could be a boundary issue. Men (and women) don't want someone who lacks boundaries. Do you have trouble telling people "no"? Are you always going above and beyond, but not always feeling good about it? These things fall under poor personal boundaries.

Yup. I read about that on the board. I don't have boundaries at all. A wigga can come up to me and say that peach fat. Ima smile and say thank you. An ex could ask me for help today and I'll do it. Even if it means going out my way. And honestly not in the mindset to want them until recently. It keeps me in drama though. Never admitted this out loud but I might just like drama. Life to boring and "perfect". And I need some validation. I'm that girl. I'm that ish. I feel like no one feels the same or gives me the respect I deserve except me. So I overhelp hoping someone will notice. They don't. Don't work like that.

Well it works with DH. he reconizes my worth but on the flip side I wonder why is he here. Is it because what I bring to the table or because he intrinsically loves me. He caused a lot of this by being passive and not communicating ish but he has become my punching bag or puppy dog. And he takes it. I spend time when I feel like it. Forget him when I don't. And he loves even harder. It's like me reincarnated in my old relationships

 

[silverbuttons]

@caribeandiva @Sweetg

Thank you ladies for the advice.

He was too perplexed.. ended up asking why I was ignoring him the whole night. We are going out on a date this week.

 

[hopeful]

Any updates ladies?

 

[chocolat79]

I just started reading because although I had seen this thread, I refused to read another relationship book. I'm ready to Spartan up, so I hope this thread comes alive again! If not, I've been reading through these pages gathering this valuable info.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

So I'm reviewing this book because I have a peasant trying to get into my court.

 

[caribeandiva]

@caribeandiva @Sweetg

Thank you ladies for the advice.

He was too perplexed.. ended up asking why I was ignoring him the whole night. We are going out on a date this week.

What ended up happening with him?

 

[Honey Bee]

So I'm reviewing this book because I have a peasant trying to get into my court.

@ your phrasing

 

[silverbuttons]

What ended up happening with him?

Good sex and an Amex.
Our intentions for the future don't line up.. still good friends though.

 

[HappyMadison]

For me, it is progressing. If anything I list out the things I will/ won't accept in real time. Since I do more industry oriented dating, it is a task. I tried the moves sucessfully on the wrong person. I was close to everything, but the guy was controlling, so it was more the thrill of sparing for him (Leos). No doubt he loves me, but it's more Ho Spartan he loves. Going toe to toe can be exhausting. Maybe not for a Ho Spartan but for a Love Spartan it too much time wasting.

So I had to do introspection and see what type of Spartan I wished to be, money, love, both. Each book had definitive instructions of being one way, but the central theme is self worth. I will take securities and love.

My current "thing" is going great. Not just daily platitudes but actions. I learned the habits of men so I stop that at the door. At first he was like "because of who I am this girl did xyz." Like I had to prove something. HA! I said and those girls are where? Not with you, so you are lucky you get a whiff of my ass lol. You have to prove you are worthy of me. And it has been like that ever since. Even when I got the ILY, I didn't relent. That is nice dear but here is a list for the evolution of our relationship. Just Sunday he said I plan to wife you. Oh that is good dear. Thank you. You need XYZ done, you can do it, lol. He is so grateful for the most simple notions. I have invited over men too soon before. So it is not a big deal. This guy, who's place is more exquisite than mine is so happy to get the invite on Saturday to MY place for the first time. He is like to lay in YOUR bed, next to you. I said we have had several overnights. But my place is special to him, finally being there. It's access.

My plan is to be insatiable. Not because it is a game. Because I am but I have compromised in the past. It because I deserve your all and I never want you to feel comfortable. I know when to be coy, always treat him like a man, but women cooking for you and laundering your clothes is treating you like a little kid. We beyond that. Wash your own damn clothes. He says I am the only one on his mind. I said good, but I will need a receipt in the form of a ring. So that's it. No complacency. You are not the perfect man. I am not the perfect woman, but I am on a journey to be my best self, there is no destination, only constant evolution. I expect that in a mate. I would never fill his head up that way.

 

[caribeandiva]

For me, it is progressing. If anything I list out the things I will/ won't accept in real time. Since I do more industry oriented dating, it is a task. I tried the moves sucessfully on the wrong person. I was close to everything, but the guy was controlling, so it was more the thrill of sparing for him (Leos). No doubt he loves me, but it's more Ho Spartan he loves. Going toe to toe can be exhausting. Maybe not for a Ho Spartan but for a Love Spartan it too much time wasting.

So I had to do introspection and see what type of Spartan I wished to be, money, love, both. Each book had definitive instructions of being one way, but the central theme is self worth. I will take securities and love.

My current "thing" is going great. Not just daily platitudes but actions. I learned the habits of men so I stop that at the door. At first he was like "because of who I am this girl did xyz." Like I had to prove something. HA! I said and those girls are where? Not with you, so you are lucky you get a whiff of my ass lol. You have to prove you are worthy of me. And it has been like that ever since. Even when I got the ILY, I didn't relent. That is nice dear but here is a list for the evolution of our relationship. Just Sunday he said I plan to wife you. Oh that is good dear. Thank you. You need XYZ done, you can do it, lol. He is so grateful for the most simple notions. I have invited over men too soon before. So it is not a big deal. This guy, who's place is more exquisite than mine is so happy to get the invite on Saturday to MY place for the first time. He is like to lay in YOUR bed, next to you. I said we have had several overnights. But my place is special to him, finally being there. It's access.

My plan is to be insatiable. Not because it is a game. Because I am but I have compromised in the past. It because I deserve your all and I never want you to feel comfortable. I know when to be coy, always treat him like a man, but women cooking for you and laundering your clothes is treating you like a little kid. We beyond that. Wash your own damn clothes. He says I am the only one on his mind. I said good, but I will need a receipt in the form of a ring. So that's it. No complacency. You are not the perfect man. I am not the perfect woman, but I am on a journey to be my best self, there is no destination, only constant evolution. I expect that in a mate. I would never fill his head up that way.

 

[Petal26]

For me, it is progressing. If anything I list out the things I will/ won't accept in real time. Since I do more industry oriented dating, it is a task. I tried the moves sucessfully on the wrong person. I was close to everything, but the guy was controlling, so it was more the thrill of sparing for him (Leos). No doubt he loves me, but it's more Ho Spartan he loves. Going toe to toe can be exhausting. Maybe not for a Ho Spartan but for a Love Spartan it too much time wasting.

So I had to do introspection and see what type of Spartan I wished to be, money, love, both. Each book had definitive instructions of being one way, but the central theme is self worth. I will take securities and love.

My current "thing" is going great. Not just daily platitudes but actions. I learned the habits of men so I stop that at the door. At first he was like "because of who I am this girl did xyz." Like I had to prove something. HA! I said and those girls are where? Not with you, so you are lucky you get a whiff of my ass lol. You have to prove you are worthy of me. And it has been like that ever since. Even when I got the ILY, I didn't relent. That is nice dear but here is a list for the evolution of our relationship. Just Sunday he said I plan to wife you. Oh that is good dear. Thank you. You need XYZ done, you can do it, lol. He is so grateful for the most simple notions. I have invited over men too soon before. So it is not a big deal. This guy, who's place is more exquisite than mine is so happy to get the invite on Saturday to MY place for the first time. He is like to lay in YOUR bed, next to you. I said we have had several overnights. But my place is special to him, finally being there. It's access.

My plan is to be insatiable. Not because it is a game. Because I am but I have compromised in the past. It because I deserve your all and I never want you to feel comfortable. I know when to be coy, always treat him like a man, but women cooking for you and laundering your clothes is treating you like a little kid. We beyond that. Wash your own damn clothes. He says I am the only one on his mind. I said good, but I will need a receipt in the form of a ring. So that's it. No complacency. You are not the perfect man. I am not the perfect woman, but I am on a journey to be my best self, there is no destination, only constant evolution. I expect that in a mate. I would never fill his head up that way.

Girl!

 

[Ayesha81]

Imo at the end of the day men go by how you make them feel so its about your personality. Yea its how you look initially but ultimately its how you make him feel.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Imo at the end of the day men go by how you make them feel so its about your personality. Yea its how you look initially but ultimately its how you make him feel.

Perhaps, but men dont put too much stock in feelings as they will pass. Feelings are not gonna hold him to you. Especially if he has others out there or he knows that he can do better. He has to know you are good for him. Feelings are fickle.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

Anyone with updates, rereads... I went thru book so fast that didnt really retain anything and see recent stories about guys entertaining... Anyways, I am rereading at a slower pace and really taking everythng in...

 

[yaya24]

Just got a group of 5 girls to start this on audible. I'm re-listening starting today and we will debrief on the 17th or the 23rd.

 

[LoveisYou]

Gosh I love this book. It's a game changer

 

[007PMP]

How did I miss this thread.

I’ve read the book and in some areas I agree with and others I don’t.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I've been studying and studying this book lately. I want to be all ready when I meet a new peasant.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

How did I miss this thread.

I’ve read the book and in some areas I agree with and others I don’t.

Out of curiosity what parts do you not agree with?

 

[sarumoki]

How did I miss this thread.

I’ve read the book and in some areas I agree with and others I don’t.

IIRC, you're in a relationship, right? I bought the book but never got around to reading it. Do you think it's worth a read even if you're already in a relationship?

 

[Zaynab]

I missed this thread. I'm glad this was written by a men. The guy is explaining why men date women years and never marry then. They want to get married, just not to you.

 

[007PMP]

IIRC, you're in a relationship, right? I bought the book but never got around to reading it. Do you think it's worth a read even if you're already in a relationship?

I read it prior and even as an intentional dater (at the time) I felt like his approach will only get you so far. Idk when I present myself to a prospect, I’m not guarded (to me is baggage). I focus on being myself—which in some ways goes against the “game changer way”.

The value in his book is the first few chapters that focuses on being humble and not priding yourself on your vagina, education, or financial status but on YOU as a person. Basically love yourself (flaws and all) because the person who is attracted to you (as a person) isn’t concerned with the shallow stuff. The user - douchebag identification is common knowledge and the other “letter of the law” “how/what to do” content is #teamtoomuch

If I want to talk a guy, I will call. If I want to go out I will ask. Men know what they want to pursue, keep, and pour into regardless of a woman’s effort.

Then again, I’m a conqueror type of woman...which is a whole other thread topic. Lol

 

[ChasingBliss]

IIRC, you're in a relationship, right? I bought the book but never got around to reading it. Do you think it's worth a read even if you're already in a relationship?

I know you are not asking me ....but I read the book and I am married. I think it's worth the read ESPECIALLY to know the perspective of a man who is willing to share non sugar coated advice. Did I NEED to read it? No. But I certainly enjoyed it and learned a few things..had a few hindsight epiphanies, etc.... I grew up with men like him so his approach did not upset me. As I have said somewhere in this thread, a lot of women either have this "that aint me" type attitude or this "why is he talking about us, what about men" type attitude. Just read it for yourself. I'm positive you wont regret it....even if you wind up being critical of his advice, you will still find it enlightening on some level.