"men Dont Love Women Like You"

[UniquelyDivine]

I turned my friend onto this book a few weeks ago and mentioned it in this thread and she was telling me how she was a Spartan within a day of reading this book but this weekend she let it slip that she's been talking to a no good ex again and told me she was happy I've been chatting with one of my ex's again after I sent her a screen shot of a ignorant post he had up ( I don't talk to him).

I'm trying to figure out a nice way to tell her to read the book again and really let it sink in this time.

 

[julzinha]

Ladies, who've read the book, I need advice. I met a cutie at a party, he friended me on FB the same night. This was like a week ago. I messaged him that if he was ever in my part of the city that we should get lunch. He said definitely.

Should I just make the leap and ask him out or take a more subtle approach and invite him to see a film with a few friends?

 

[caribeandiva]

Ladies, who've read the book, I need advice. I met a cutie at a party, he friended me on FB the same night. This was like a week ago. I messaged him that if he was ever in my part of the city that we should get lunch. He said definitely.

Should I just make the leap and ask him out or take a more subtle approach and invite him to see a film with a few friends?

So he hasn't initiated anything with you since?

 

[julzinha]

So he hasn't initiated anything with you since?

Not really, which is why I'm skeptical about making the leap.

 

[qchelle]

Not really, which is why I'm skeptical about making the leap.

I wouldn't do anything with that.

What did his reply message say besides "definitely"?

 

[silverbuttons]

Not really, which is why I'm skeptical about making the leap.

If it was just 'Definitely'.. he's not interested.

 

[julzinha]

I wouldn't do anything with that.

What did his reply message say besides "definitely"?

Quote: "Definitely! Let's keep in touch for sure!" very non committal statement.

ETA: My friends want me to ask him out, but I don't chase men. It's never worked. I'm more of a schemer. Place yourself in situations and places to be near them then charm the sh!t out of them until they chase you.

 

[TwistedRoots]

Quote: "Definitely! Let's keep in touch for sure!" very non committal statement.

ETA: My friends want me to ask him out, but I don't chase men. It's never worked. I'm more of a schemer. Place yourself in situations and places to be near them then charm the sh!t out of them until they chase you.

If he's interested the way you want him to be you don't have to bait him. Don't give any more thought to it unless he reaches out to you.

 

[Dposh167]

I think I've started to accept myself more.

Why was I ever intimidated by men? Why did I place so much stock into having a bf? Is it for validation or some meaning for self worth? Half of these men have their own issues and self esteem problems, and I'm trying to do back flips for them?

No! Not anymore. I can only be myself and if that's not good enough then too bad.

*word

 

[julzinha]

If he's interested the way you want him to be you don't have to bait him. Don't give any more thought to it unless he reaches out to you.

So you ladies think I shouldn't even invite him out to a group thing?

 

[caribeandiva]

Quote: "Definitely! Let's keep in touch for sure!" very non committal statement.

ETA: My friends want me to ask him out, but I don't chase men. It's never worked. I'm more of a schemer. Place yourself in situations and places to be near them then charm the sh!t out of them until they chase you.

Ignore your friends!!! I've been meaning in your shoes before. Unfortunately I listened to them birds and it always backfired. Chasing men never works. Listen to your gut.

 

[caribeandiva]

So you ladies think I shouldn't even invite him out to a group thing?

Nope. That's still undercover chasing. Date others.

 

[julzinha]

Nope. That's still undercover chasing. Date others.

Thanks ladies. That's what my gut was telling me, but I'll probably run into him again and will be sure to be on ten.

 

[quirkydimples]

My relative who won't read the book and has NEVER had a successful relationship is steady trying to give me advice...

 

[Silkycoils]

Ladies, who've read the book, I need advice. I met a cutie at a party, he friended me on FB the same night. This was like a week ago. I messaged him that if he was ever in my part of the city that we should get lunch. He said definitely.

Should I just make the leap and ask him out or take a more subtle approach and invite him to see a film with a few friends?

I personally do not like to "friend" people on FB that I've just met. They're doing "research" on your whole life based on your timeline/posts, when they should be trying to get to know you in the flesh. According to the book, Spartans reveal as little about themselves until the man has earned it through consistent action. I would've left that friend request dangling in perpetuity.

Also, I wouldn't invite him out, and I ESPECIALLY wouldn't invite him out with friends. I want all of his attention.

 

[ChasingBliss]

My relative who won't read the book and has NEVER had a successful relationship is steady trying to give me advice...

Yeah, she's that chick husbands talk about...the one steady tryna be in your ear telling you what SHE would do if she were you in any given marital situation.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

I personally do not like to "friend" people on FB that I've just met. They're doing "research" on your whole life based on your timeline/posts, when they should be trying to get to know you in the flesh. According to the book, Spartans reveal as little about themselves until the man has earned it through consistent action. I would've left that friend request dangling in perpetuity.

Also, I wouldn't invite him out, and I ESPECIALLY wouldn't invite him out with friends. I want all of his attention.

Im the same way, I will let you follow on the gram, but moving away from SM outlets anyway, too distracting, need to really be on my life ish

 

[quirkydimples]

Dude I'm at dinner listening to a guy at another table talk about why he's not getting his girl a big ring. His friends (men and women) are encouraging this bs.

 

[caribeandiva]

Dude I'm at dinner listening to a guy at another table talk about why he's not getting his girl a big ring. His friends (men and women) are encouraging this bs.

What was he saying?

 

[quirkydimples]

What was he saying?

He was basically saying that if a woman isn't materialistic, then the size shouldn't matter. And then a friend said, "Is she saving up for the wedding? Does she have a dowry." I stopped listening to the foolishness after that.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

ugh ^^^

 

[caribeandiva]

He was basically saying that if a woman isn't materialistic, then the size shouldn't matter. And then a friend said, "Is she saving up for the wedding? Does she have a dowry." I stopped listening to the foolishness after that.

Struggle dack

 

[ChasingBliss]

He was basically saying that if a woman isn't materialistic, then the size shouldn't matter. And then a friend said, "Is she saving up for the wedding? Does she have a dowry." I stopped listening to the foolishness after that.

Yup, today's mitches.

 

[PeaceLover]

I read this this morning on my facebook feed:

@hopeful this might be useful to your group

Do not allow him to consume you. If he does not call, go to sleep. If he does not message, put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway. If he acts distant when you are with him and refuses to tell you what is wrong, don’t wait for him, go home and do something you love. If he tries to insinuate you do not need your friends now that you have him, spend more time with your friends. If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment, ignore him completely.

If he plays with your feelings constantly, walk away from him. If he acts like your body is his entitlement when you are not ready, walk away from him. If he says terrible, unforgivable things and threatens to leave you after every argument, walk away from him. If he forbids you from doing anything you love, walk away from him. If he claims ownership of your accomplishments, walk away from him. If he demeans you or disrespects your being a girl and refuses to stop when you tell him it hurts, walk away from him.

I cannot stress this enough, you live for yourself first. He is a secondary character in the story of your life. Do not allow him to turn you into a secondary character in your own book.
- Nikita Gill

Is this a book?

 

[phynestone]

I personally do not like to "friend" people on FB that I've just met. They're doing "research" on your whole life based on your timeline/posts, when they should be trying to get to know you in the flesh. According to the book, Spartans reveal as little about themselves until the man has earned it through consistent action. I would've left that friend request dangling in perpetuity.

Also, I wouldn't invite him out, and I ESPECIALLY wouldn't invite him out with friends. I want all of his attention.

I am the same way. People love to keep tabs on you this way. For that reason, I do not have colleagues or former colleagues on my page either. They are either relatives, friends or classmates. Nothing else.

 

[Blessed&higlyflavoured]

I've nearly perfected the art of blocking and deleting. Just need to work on the forgetting part.

 

[silverbuttons]

I have a crush that is making me look like a plum fool.

I have to re-read what he says about those.

 

[caribeandiva]

I have a crush that is making me look like a plum fool.

I have to re-read what he says about those.

What do you mean? How are you acting around him?

 

[silverbuttons]

What do you mean? How are you acting around him?

Really bipolar. He's really forward with his advances, but I keep batting them down. We went out to dinner and a bar (group setting). He asks me to dance at least five times, I say no... Its like I turn into a ****ing shrinking violet when he is around.. A guy [not in our group] offered to buy me a drink and we were chatting up, I was open and flirtatious. He just looks at me and says "Really?"

By the end of the night, I end up dancing with his friend.

 

[caribeandiva]

Really bipolar. He's really forward with his advances, but I keep batting them down. We went out to dinner and a bar (group setting). He asks me to dance at least five times, I say no... Its like I turn into a ****ing shrinking violet when he is around.. A guy [not in our group] offered to buy me a drink and we were chatting up, I was open and flirtatious. He just looks at me and says "Really?"

By the end of the night, I end up dancing with his friend.

Been there done that many many times. We both know how counterproductive it is. It's a pattern that's hard to be break. What helps me is to remember that he is JUST a man. He's got his own crap he's trying to deal with and he's probably more nervous than you are. He's trying to get YOU to like him. If all else fails I tell myself, like G. L. Lambert said in the book: "This dude will be happy to eat my box if I let him!"