"men Dont Love Women Like You"

I'll step all up in this post like

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Tell me where and where I can't go... shoot...


Nah but it's all good. Back to what we were discussing...
 
So back to the book, I saw work crush on elevator today, which was occupied with others*. It was after lunch, I sparked up small dialogue, sexy gestures and commentary, unlike before, felt ULTRA comfortable and relaxed, no nervous talk! Jokingly not with sass but a sultry comment...

*Elevator occupants: him, another young lady and his colleague (cute, potential, actually both are work crush's, but you have to focus on one, or at least the one heart yearns for, right, Lol)

Tipbit: This market around way has deals on the Lunch hot bar periodically. The smart ones sign up for notifications of deal. Today was 50% off!

Situation: So I see sexy walking towards entrance, definitely closer than I, no rush, just make sure on same elevator is thoughts, elevators slow as crap so I know I will make it, but I make sure he see's me walking towards entrance too...

At elevator station, I meet up with dude, we say our hey how you looks and basic comments, all the while I can clearly see him checking me out, looking me up and down. He and colleague went to previously mentioned Market.

On elevator, everyone with their Lunch bags, I have to move fast are thoughts, I know that he works on 4th floor (#BasicaBeginnings), once we press our floors and the elevator starts to ascend I state, "I see you guys went to the hot bar" and WC (Work Crush) says "yea the trash bar", I smile and give off a sexy laugh, looking directly at him with the I know you want this face, baits eyes, smiles, showing the dimple and respond "yea thats why I opted to go elsewhere", everyone in elevator laughs. I thinnnnk I worked that right...

#SorrynotSorryforNovel
 
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ChasingBliss said:
Why does it seem like people just gravitate to negativity? It's like I'd rather run over here and fight this person because I disagree with them and completely ignore anything positive or encouraging that was offered by others. I see this often...Meh, human nature I guess.
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I'm not trying to fight anyone. I'm just trying to defend myself. I see the encouraging posts you guys sent and I appreciate all of them because you really didn't have to respond.

I'm trying to learn more about this meditation thing. I don't really think I like myself and that's the problem. I'm gonna try to see if I can get a better self image. I keep reading Chapter 4 and 5 over and over.
 
caribeandiva said:
And there's nothing wrong with that. I've been depressed before too. It sucks. It's NOT ok to come in this thread, lie about reading the book and proceed to throw yourself a pity party! That's like starving to death in a room full of delicious, nutritious food.
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Lol I don't think she lied but she missed the point u gave the boom to my friend and she also missed the point

@GraceJones I don't think you're mean or snippy just whenever I see your screen name I just immediately feel overwhelmed
 
GraceJones said:
I'm not trying to fight anyone. I'm just trying to defend myself. I see the encouraging posts you guys sent and I appreciate all of them because you really didn't have to respond.

I'm trying to learn more about this meditation thing. I don't really think I like myself and that's the problem. I'm gonna try to see if I can get a better self image. I keep reading Chapter 4 and 5 over and over.
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I promise I'm trying to help you. If you're feline some type of way just tell me girl and I'll keep it all the way cute :lachen:I got girlfriends who we just keep it really surface with but we cool lol
 
@GraceJones

I think a self-help book like the Four Agreements could be really helpful with your inner thoughts and dialogue and general self-image.

I think reading and doing the questions and workbook and letting it sink in and become a way of life n living may be more helpful than this book at this point in your life.

Check Amazon for reviews. The author Miguel Ruiz also has other books, this is his most popular.
 
@GraceJones, I think the frustration that some posters are expressing stems from you not taking in the first chapters of book, this self pity on display should have been ridden of upon completion of not even first quarter of book...

Like the author states, this is NOT a novel to read for completion, just cause; taking a break, although I think 1 hour is tooo short of a time frame, to actually mediate over what just read is essential...

When you can fully grasp that your world/life/existence is essentially your creation, encompassing the thoughts you put out to world, you will be more successful in goals. This goes beyond just relationships in "my" perspective.

Think "Law of Attraction"
 
NijaG said:
@GraceJones

I think a self-help book like the Four Agreements could be really helpful with your inner thoughts and dialogue and general self-image.

I think reading and doing the questions and workbook and letting it sink in and become a way of life n living may be more helpful than this book at this point in your life.

Check Amazon for reviews. The author Miguel Ruiz also has other books, this is his most popular.
Click to expand...


I am a giant fan of The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. If you Google "Mastery of Love PDF free" then you can read it free online.
 
I've been celibate for a while for a variety of reasons, chief among which is the fact that I no longer want to waste my time and my body on a situation that is beneath me.
I've had sex while in love and the man wasn't, sex when he was in love and I wasn't, sex just to scratch the itch, and sex when we were both in love. Any of those situations can be good sex, but great sex was when we were in love with each other. I've had that and that's my standard (great sex) so that's what I'm holding out for. I don't think it's likely that you'll have mindblowing sex with someone you just met, simply because that kind of sex requires investment from both sides and people generally dont invest that much in things they know to be transient. He's there to just get a nut and so are you - not quite what GREAT is made of. But, that could be just me. Great chemistry may equal good sex, but GREAT sex requires more and I'm worth that more, so that's what I'm waiting for.

So for me, while there is no guilt attached to no-strings-attached sex, i CHOOOSE to only share my body with a man who has proven himself worthy, whose idea of me matches my idea of myself.
I also feel that having sex for sex's sake does not match up with my values as a queen and I think believing that and then getting nekkid before a man treats me like the queen I am could lead to some kind of cognitive dissonance because you're basically saying one thing and acting a different way. My feeling is that this is not true integrity or authenticity.

On the other hand, I've read books that advocate for women to either get their DIY-sex game on point or to keep lovers on the side strictly for sex. No talking or being friends or anything but cuffing. This is so that you don't act thirsty with the dude you like that you're not giving any because you're *allegedly* a high-value woman. Again, for me this MO brings up issues of authenticity and integrity. Even if no one knows you have a man-ho on the side, you're still acting one way while trying to be seen another.

All of that said, I do think this is something every woman needs to work out for herself, and if my life is anything to go by, your ideas on this may change as you get older and as your values change. Our goals and values are different and so too the meaning of sex and the way we all view physical intimacy. Right and wrong are what you decide they are for you.
 
@miss cosmic

Well said!! I'm very selective about who I am intimate with hence my celibacy. . But like you said, things change as you get older and everyone's walk is different. I am not the type to have a friends with benefits situation( did once and no thank you) nor can I get down with one night stands. I don't know if it is built up anxiety or tension over time, but I find myself these past years thinking about it more often. My self control is still there but boy oh boy.... lol. thanks for your answer!!
 
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nlamr2013 said:
Lol I don't think she lied but she missed the point u gave the boom to my friend and she also missed the point

@GraceJones I don't think you're mean or snippy just whenever I see your screen name I just immediately feel overwhelmed
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Ok that's fine

AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
@GraceJones, I think the frustration that some posters are expressing stems from you not taking in the first chapters of book, this self pity on display should have been ridden of upon completion of not even first quarter of book...

Like the author states, this is NOT a novel to read for completion, just cause; taking a break, although I think 1 hour is tooo short of a time frame, to actually mediate over what just read is essential...

When you can fully grasp that your world/life/existence is essentially your creation, encompassing the thoughts you put out to world, you will be more successful in goals. This goes beyond just relationships in "my" perspective.

Think "Law of Attraction"
Click to expand...


nlamr2013 said:
I promise I'm trying to help you. If you're feline some type of way just tell me girl and I'll keep it all the way cute :lachen:I got girlfriends who we just keep it really surface with but we cool lol
Click to expand...

I don't think a person can change overnight. If you've dealt with a problem for years I don't think it can change with the reading of a few chapters.

Other posters have PMed me and said "I feel like exact same way, I'm so glad you said something." So I'm not the only one.

This is a real issue for me and I left the need to express it so I did. It's difficult dealing with past personal trauma, trying to date, and feeling as though it might never happen for you
 
I'm starting to get frustrated myself explaining myself over and over and then being dismissed. Let's just tackle the book

I'm reading this situation as people asking me why I made that post. Is that what we're talking about?

I'm not even sure what we're getting at.
 
I think the issue is you're killing the vibe of the thread


“You are not meant to Spartan Up overnight, read and re-read the first two parts of this book until it becomes more familiar than the alphabet. This is your life now. This is how you date, how you flirt, how you seduce, how you open a man up, and how you test a man to see if he is worth you. Know the weapons you now have will always work and use them! If at any time your thoughts betray you and that inner Basica attempts to overtake you, close your eyes, and remember how far you’ve come. Visualize that old weak girl you once called self… Picture her, with all her flaws, insecurities, excuses, and doubts standing over a pit… then kick that ***** in the chest and watch her fall into the abyss.. You are Sparta..”
 
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I'm really confused :/
Anywho I can't remember if I typed it here but part of me spartaning up was wearing makeup. I usually wouldn't because I felt like the other women around would think I was doing it forsome dude. Smh I was right but I don't currently care what them biddies think lol
I've started wearing an everyday look 80 percent of the time. It would be higher but I'm always running late smh. But my basic face takes about 5 minutes.
I do it for me because I like the look but the males in school and at work love it. And some of the women who tried to side eye me when I started wearing makeup I've noticed they're wearing makeup and looking all around more polished. Inspiring the world one day at a time lol
 
nlamr2013 said:
I'm really confused :/
Anywho I can't remember if I typed it here but part of me spartaning up was wearing makeup. I usually wouldn't because I felt like the other women around would think I was doing it forsome dude. Smh I was right but I don't currently care what them biddies think lol
I've started wearing an everyday look 80 percent of the time. It would be higher but I'm always running late smh. But my basic face takes about 5 minutes.
I do it for me because I like the look but the males in school and at work love it. And some of the women who tried to side eye me when I started wearing makeup I've noticed they're wearing makeup and looking all around more polished. Inspiring the world one day at a time lol
Click to expand...

I've started wearing more makeup too. Basic face is concealer, foundation. Thin liquid eyeliner on the top eye, and mascara.
 
nlamr2013 said:
I'm really confused :/
Anywho I can't remember if I typed it here but part of me spartaning up was wearing makeup. I usually wouldn't because I felt like the other women around would think I was doing it forsome dude. Smh I was right but I don't currently care what them biddies think lol
I've started wearing an everyday look 80 percent of the time. It would be higher but I'm always running late smh. But my basic face takes about 5 minutes.
I do it for me because I like the look but the males in school and at work love it. And some of the women who tried to side eye me when I started wearing makeup I've noticed they're wearing makeup and looking all around more polished. Inspiring the world one day at a time lol
Click to expand...
I started wearing makeup more often too! :lol: And dressing up more. People did criticize me at first too but then they too started dressing up more. Weird huh? :lol: I guess they thought I'd give up to get them off my back but nope.
 
JunMom2Be said:
I think the issue is you're killing the vibe of the thread


“You are not meant to Spartan Up overnight, read and re-read the first two parts of this book until it becomes more familiar than the alphabet. This is your life now. This is how you date, how you flirt, how you seduce, how you open a man up, and how you test a man to see if he is worth you. Know the weapons you now have will always work and use them! If at any time your thoughts betray you and that inner Basica attempts to overtake you, close your eyes, and remember how far you’ve come. Visualize that old weak girl you once called self… Picture her, with all her flaws, insecurities, excuses, and doubts standing over a pit… then kick that ***** in the chest and watch her fall into the abyss.. You are Sparta..”
Click to expand...
:yep:
 
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