"men Dont Love Women Like You"

[sharifeh]

I think I probably do have a problem because I rarely find men attractive. Like INCREDIBLY rarely. I've never really shown true interest in a man. I think maybe my trust issues start to manifest and I talk myself out of it mentally.

I think I just don't trust men at all. Like AT ALL. It sucks because you want to have physical relationships with men, but at the same time I'm completely repulsed by them.

Why dont you trust men at all? I think this still goes back to having a negative mindset. You have to reread the beginning of the book again- he does address this stuff. you have to ask yourself the hard questions and allow yourself to receive the criticisms the author is giving you.

 

[sweetvi]

[QUOTE="nlamr2013,

Neverminf

 

[sweetvi]

Lol nevermind

 

[ChasingBliss]

Sorry that was Ho Tactics. You are not ready to be a Ho lol...This is From the Spartan side:

An entire world for her taking, and for the first time, she isn’t afraid of what these men think or hung up on possible rejection. Who should she talk to? Should she wait for one of these men to make the first move or just start up random conversations on her own? What’s the protocol? Phoenix doesn’t waste her brain cells with such basic thoughts. When the time comes she will know what to do. She told the universe what she wanted, now opportunity will be presented. There are no counter thoughts holding her back.

YESSSS!

 

[GraceJones]

Hmm, I don't really think anyone is babying me but ok. I guess whenever I have a bad day I just put it on here. I've never had any real friends, never had a bf. I only have a few associates I hang out with on the weekends. Of course I'm gonna think something is wrong with me if I can't build relationships.

I feel like I keep trying and trying and trying with no success. I tried similar tips with this one guy at work. They worked, he ended up showing attraction. But you know this jerk was married with children? When he got to work he would take his ring off. He had me looking like a fool for about 2 months. Total humiliation.

And I met this other guy at a friend's get together a few weeks ago. He had our mutual friend telling me he thinks I'm so beautiful, blah, blah. Why did our mutual friend tell me Sunday night this fool has a gf? All the whole trying to get at me.



So I guess if my posts are so annoying to you, why don't you put me on ignore? I usually come in here to vent my frustrations. The only people I say this stuff to is you guys and my therapist. If you don't like that that's fine. And if anyone else wants to put on ignore that's fine as well.

 

[caribeandiva]

lol Nothing but I feel like yall always baby grace when she gets like this lol Im from the school of tough love

No way you can claim to have read the book cover to cover and be asking the questions shes asking. She asks the same sort of q over and over and continues to be babied. lol Its a bit exhausting tbh

She always asks for advice but comes up with excuse after excuse on why it wont work for her. Like what do you want to hear gyal?

Oh... I didn't know that. I'm saving my breath from now on.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

I think I probably do have a problem because I rarely find men attractive. Like INCREDIBLY rarely. I've never really shown true interest in a man. I think maybe my trust issues start to manifest and I talk myself out of it mentally.

I think I just don't trust men at all. Like AT ALL. It sucks because you want to have physical relationships with men, but at the same time I'm completely repulsed by them.

Are you attracted to women? Serious question.

 

[Chrismiss]

There's no way you can read this book cover to cover and not have a shift in your mentality. No. Way.

 

[nlamr2013]

Hmm, I don't really think anyone is babying me but ok. I guess whenever I have a bad day I just put it on here. I've never had any real friends, never had a bf. I only have a few associates I hang out with on the weekends. Of course I'm gonna think something is wrong with me if I can't build relationships.

I feel like I keep trying and trying and trying with no success. I tried similar tips with this one guy at work. They worked, he ended up showing attraction. But you know this jerk was married with children? When he got to work he would take his ring off. He had me looking like a fool for about 2 months. Total humiliation.

And I met this other guy at a friend's get together a few weeks ago. He had our mutual friend telling me he thinks I'm so beautiful, blah, blah. Why did our mutual friend tell me Sunday night this fool has a gf? All the whole trying to get at me.



So I guess if my posts are so annoying to you, why don't you put me on ignore? I usually come in here to vent my frustrations. The only people I say this stuff to is you guys and my therapist. If you don't like that that's fine. And if anyone else wants to put on ignore that's fine as well.

Lol cut the dramatics girl. I never said annoying I said exhausting.

But be honest if you're anything irl as you are on herewould you be friends with you? There's always some excuse or reason why you can't prosper etc etc
But again you claim to have read the book cover to cover but a huge take away from the book should be that YOU control your own life.

Like I said read the book again. For understanding not for tips and tricks to catch a man (another huge point made by the author)

I'm sure you are attracting predatory men because they can smell your insecurity and feed off it.

And like I said I give tough love. I'm rooting for you girl. I really am but you have GOT to stop being the forever victim and take control of your life.

I may also suggest evaluating your therapist to see if you feel you have had breakthrough or if they're just taking your money.

 

[PeaceLover]

I bought it yesterday. I'm on chapter 4 now...The first couple of chapters were boring lol

 

[LostInAdream]

I bought it yesterday. I'm on chapter 4 now...The first couple of chapters were boring lol

Boring in the sense you've already mastered those things?

 

[caribeandiva]

I highly doubt that she, @GraceJones , read the book, much less from cover to cover like she claims.

 

[GraceJones]

Lol cut the dramatics girl. I never said annoying I said exhausting.

But be honest if you're anything irl as you are on herewould you be friends with you? There's always some excuse or reason why you can't prosper etc etc
But again you claim to have read the book cover to cover but a huge take away from the book should be that YOU control your own life.

Like I said read the book again. For understanding not for tips and tricks to catch a man (another huge point made by the author)

I'm sure you are attracting predatory men because they can smell your insecurity and feed off it.

And like I said I give tough love. I'm rooting for you girl. I really am but you have GOT to stop being the forever victim and take control of your life.

I may also suggest evaluating your therapist to see if you feel you have had breakthrough or if they're just taking your money.

I don't mean to be snippy but it's the most frustrating thing in the world to want some sort of relationship and then at the same time not trusting the people you're seeking the relationship from. It's always some ulterior motive. Or feeling like they'll probably abandon you as soon as you no longer serve a purpose.

My counselor says I just need to realize that there are nice men out there and to keep meeting people. I've been to a few counselors in college and he's one of the better ones.

Like I said, I don't complain about any of this stuff in real life. Only on here.

I think I'm a decent person. If anyone asks for help I offer mine. I'm pretty open minded to try new stuff. If you think I'm a jerk or mean to people on here you can let me know.

I think I'm a bit better than I was before because I never used to go anywhere at all. I would just work/stay at home watching tv all the time. Now I spend every weekend out from morning to night.

It's harder to do stuff during the week because I exercise.

 

[sweetvi]

I highly doubt that she, @GraceJones , read the book, much less from cover to cover like she claims.

She sounds depressed. :-(

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

I don't mean to be snippy but it's the most frustrating thing in the world to want some sort of relationship and then at the same time not trusting the people you're seeking the relationship from. It's always some ulterior motive. Or feeling like they'll probably abandon you as soon as you no longer serve a purpose.

My counselor says I just need to realize that there are nice men out there and to keep meeting people. I've been to a few counselors in college and he's one of the better ones.

Like I said, I don't complain about any of this stuff in real life. Only on here.

I think I'm a decent person. If anyone asks for help I offer mine. I'm pretty open minded to try new stuff. If you think I'm a jerk or mean to people on here you can let me know.

I think I'm a bit better than I was before because I never used to go anywhere at all. I would just work/stay at home watching tv all the time. Now I spend every weekend out from morning to night.

It's harder to do stuff during the week because I exercise.

Sounds like maybe you need to relax and stop putting good, healthy relationships on a pedestal. Like attracts like. What you experience and how people react to you are a direct correlation of how you feel about yourself. If you want a relationship, but you operate from the mindset of lacking, fear, etc then you will attract situations that affirm your believe. Have you tried meditation?

 

[PeaceLover]

Boring in the sense you've already mastered those things?

No, I didn't master those things. I just didn't want to hear that I was a basic b**** lol.

It's getting really good now tho...

 

[ChasingBliss]

I think I probably do have a problem because I rarely find men attractive. Like INCREDIBLY rarely. I've never really shown true interest in a man. I think maybe my trust issues start to manifest and I talk myself out of it mentally.

I think I just don't trust men at all. Like AT ALL. It sucks because you want to have physical relationships with men, but at the same time I'm completely repulsed by them.

I didnt see this post before. I think your issues are way deeper than this book can solve. Have you had any therapy? ---eta: just read a post where you spoke of a counselor.

On another note, I understand how you feel. There are times in my life I have felt the same way. But I know my feelings come from being disgusted with this paternalistic society and seeing how much men get away with along side how much women go through.

 

[caribeandiva]

She sounds depressed. :-(

And there's nothing wrong with that. I've been depressed before too. It sucks. It's NOT ok to come in this thread, lie about reading the book and proceed to throw yourself a pity party! That's like starving to death in a room full of delicious, nutritious food.

 

[ChasingBliss]

And there's nothing wrong with that. I've been depressed before too. It sucks. It's NOT ok to come in this thread, lie about reading the book and proceed to throw yourself a pity party! That's like starving to death in a room full of delicious, nutritious food.

Hey what did I miss? She lied about reading the book? How do we know she's lying? Is it because her conclusions about the book are different from the rest of us. I'm skipping through posts..maybe I should go back.

 

[GraceJones]

And there's nothing wrong with that. I've been depressed before too. It sucks. It's NOT ok to come in this thread, lie about reading the book and proceed to throw yourself a pity party! That's like starving to death in a room full of delicious, nutritious food.

Woahhhh

I never lied about reading the book. Y'all said I lied and I just chose to ignore those posts because it's such a ridiculous statement. Why would I say I read it if I didn't? What purpose would that serve? I read this and Ho Tactics.

Just because I didn't take away the same things you guys did doesn't mean I lied. I'm re-reading it to see it sinks in.

Again, if you are frustrated with my posts you can choose to not respond. Nobody is forcing you. But to call me a liar ain't cool.

 

[barbiesocialite]

Sounds like maybe you need to relax and stop putting good, healthy relationships on a pedestal. Like attracts like. What you experience and how people react to you are a direct correlation of how you feel about yourself. If you want a relationship, but you operate from the mindset of lacking, fear, etc then you will attract situations that affirm your believe. Have you tried meditation?

I like this post.

 

[barbiesocialite]

Are you attracted to women? Serious question.

I don't think that's it. I kinda think it might be more inexperience mixed with a little self depreciation that manifests as projection on to men

 

[JFK]

Woahhhh

I never lied about reading the book. Y'all said I lied and I just chose to ignore those posts because it's such a ridiculous statement. Why would I say I read it if I didn't? What purpose would that serve? I read this and Ho Tactics.

Just because I didn't take away the same things you guys did doesn't mean I lied. I'm re-reading it to see it sinks in.

Again, if you are frustrated with my posts you can choose to not respond. Nobody is forcing you. But to call me a liar ain't cool.

Your experience is valued. Feel free to post as you like. I actually think reading your posts shows the rest of us how much we actually absorbed and is a good exercise in "How Should a Spartan Respond to This?"

If you're annoying, folks can just put you in ignore or keep scrolling as soon as they see your name like "here we go with this chick"

Believe me, there's someone reading this thread with your same problems and thoughts so express yourself.

 

[caribeandiva]

If you are frustrated with my posts you can choose to not respond. Nobody is forcing you. But to call me a liar ain't cool.

That's true. I don't think you read the book because you don't know what "Spartan up" means. Since the author explains it a lot of times throughout the book, I find that highly suspect. Even if you didn't internalize its teachings, that term should not be that foreign to you. That's all.

 

[barbiesocialite]

That's true. I don't think you read the book because you don't know what "Spartan up" means. Since the author explains it a lot of times throughout the book, I find that highly suspect. Even if you didn't internalize its teachings, that term should not be that foreign to you. That's all.

To be fair, I didn't read the book however my girl did so I knew about the Spartan thing. I think you guys have to pick a goddess or female warrior name or something?

 

[caribeandiva]

To be fair, I didn't read the book however my girl did so I knew all about Spartan. I think you guys have to pick a goddess or female warrior name or something?

Right

 

[GraceJones]

Sounds like maybe you need to relax and stop putting good, healthy relationships on a pedestal. Like attracts like. What you experience and how people react to you are a direct correlation of how you feel about yourself. If you want a relationship, but you operate from the mindset of lacking, fear, etc then you will attract situations that affirm your believe. Have you tried meditation?

What's wrong with wanting a good relationship?

How would meditation apply in this situation?

Your experience is valued. Feel free to post as you like. I actually think reading your posts shows the rest of us how much we actually absorbed and is a good exercise in "How Should a Spartan Respond to This?"

If you're annoying, folks can just put you in ignore or keep scrolling as soon as they see your name like "here we go with this chick"

Believe me, there's someone reading this thread with your same problems and thoughts so express yourself.

Word, yo!

If that's how you feel that's fine. You can even complain to a moderator. Knock yourself out.

[/insert obligatory "I paid my $6.50" post here]

If you don't like it, act like you ain't see it and start talking about something else. Damn

We are talking about dating and struggles within it. I have struggles that I would like to talk about too. Why can't I? Because ya'll heard it before? Because I'm not positive? Are we only allowed to post positive experiences?

When I said I don't know what that means, I meant I didn't know what it means to be "ready" to read this book. I'm not even sure how someone prepares to read a book. I wasn't talking about the term "Spartan Up". I never said I ain't read the book.

 

[caribeandiva]

When I said I don't know what that means, I meant I didn't know what it means to be "ready" to read this book. I'm not even sure how someone prepares to read a book. I wasn't talking about the term "Spartan Up". I never said I ain't read the book.

Ohhhh... I completely misunderstood then. I apologize for calling you a liar. I'm sorry. Keep posting in this thread. Conflict makes for very interesting discussions.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Alrighty then. ....

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

What's wrong with wanting a good relationship?

How would meditation apply in this situation?

If you're putting a good relationship on a pedestal while at the same time beating yourself up then you're doing it wrong. You need to put yourself on the pedestal FIRST. That takes conquering your thoughts and quieting negative self-talk. Mediation helps you develop control of your thoughts. Once you have control of your thoughts and self confidence develops, you will begin attracting postive people/things/relationships that you want.