"men Dont Love Women Like You"

[SurferBabe]

I've been reading the BGAE blog the last few days and have come up with a bit of a realization.

I don't believe a man's desire to commit comes from a place of genuine emotional attachment or "love" as women define it. That is our arena. Men aren't wired that way. It comes from a desire to possess something he views as valuable and essential to his happiness and well-being. It doesn't stop there. To possess is the first step. The main goal is to have you exclusively for himself. When a man finds a woman whose presence in his life makes him feel like losing her permanently (to another man) would directly affect his happiness-- that's his Game Changer. He's willing to do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening. Competition. I hate to think of it in terms of a woman being something a man owns or possesses, but I believe men subconsciously feel that way.

There is nothing you can do to make a man want to possess you to that level. You're either it or you're not. You can cook and do laundry all you want, but if he feels like you aren't his GC, then losing you to another man only means he has to replace your laundry services with a laundromat, and he has to hit up his mom for home cooked meals. Losing a woman who isn't his GC doesn't shake up his world. When you start to demand things that are above the threshold of what he's willing to do to keep you off the market, it's worth the risk for him to be free of you so he can find the one that he feels can't be replaced. Your job is to qualify, observe, and force him to reveal the truth sooner without getting too attached until you know where he stands.

This has been the hardest pill for me to swallow but it is liberating in a sense. Men don't play fair... they play to win. Women should do the same. I'm not playing fair anymore.

 

[Fine 4s]

@caribeandiva

Didn't ask. Doubt it. She would have mentioned it. She's not ready.

 

[sharifeh]

This guy text me "hey beautiful" I'm tempted to ask him if he has any other vocabulary words besides beautiful but I won't... If he's trying to charm me - it's not working- set up a date already

 

[LoveLiLi]

I've been reading the BGAE blog the last few days and have come up with a bit of a realization.

I don't believe a man's desire to commit comes from a place of genuine emotional attachment or "love" as women define it. That is our arena. Men aren't wired that way. It comes from a desire to possess something he views as valuable and essential to his happiness and well-being. It doesn't stop there. To possess is the first step. The main goal is to have you exclusively for himself. When a man finds a woman whose presence in his life makes him feel like losing her permanently (to another man) would directly affect his happiness-- that's his Game Changer. He's willing to do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening. Competition. I hate to think of it in terms of a woman being something a man owns or possesses, but I believe men subconsciously feel that way.

There is nothing you can do to make a man want to possess you to that level. You're either it or you're not. You can cook and do laundry all you want, but if he feels like you aren't his GC, then losing you to another man only means he has to replace your laundry services with a laundromat, and he has to hit up his mom for home cooked meals. Losing a woman who isn't his GC doesn't shake up his world. When you start to demand things that are above the threshold of what he's willing to do to keep you off the market, it's worth the risk for him to be free of you so he can find the one that he feels can't be replaced. Your job is to qualify, observe, and force him to reveal the truth sooner without getting too attached until you know where he stands.

This has been the hardest pill for me to swallow but it is liberating in a sense. Men don't play fair... they play to win. Women should do the same. I'm not playing fair anymore.

Welp, I think you hit the nail on the head. Great post!

 

[Kalani]

This has been the hardest pill for me to swallow but it is liberating in a sense. Men don't play fair... they play to win. Women should do the same. I'm not playing fair anymore.

This is so true!

 

[TrueBeliever]

I've been reading the BGAE blog the last few days and have come up with a bit of a realization.

I don't believe a man's desire to commit comes from a place of genuine emotional attachment or "love" as women define it. That is our arena. Men aren't wired that way. It comes from a desire to possess something he views as valuable and essential to his happiness and well-being. It doesn't stop there. To possess is the first step. The main goal is to have you exclusively for himself. When a man finds a woman whose presence in his life makes him feel like losing her permanently (to another man) would directly affect his happiness-- that's his Game Changer. He's willing to do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening. Competition. I hate to think of it in terms of a woman being something a man owns or possesses, but I believe men subconsciously feel that way.

There is nothing you can do to make a man want to possess you to that level. You're either it or you're not. You can cook and do laundry all you want, but if he feels like you aren't his GC, then losing you to another man only means he has to replace your laundry services with a laundromat, and he has to hit up his mom for home cooked meals. Losing a woman who isn't his GC doesn't shake up his world. When you start to demand things that are above the threshold of what he's willing to do to keep you off the market, it's worth the risk for him to be free of you so he can find the one that he feels can't be replaced. Your job is to qualify, observe, and force him to reveal the truth sooner without getting too attached until you know where he stands.

This has been the hardest pill for me to swallow but it is liberating in a sense. Men don't play fair... they play to win. Women should do the same. I'm not playing fair anymore.

Thanks wasn't enough.
It seems to be in a woman's nature to try to see how she can change when it doesn't matter.
You're either it or you're not even if you do all the right things.

 

[JFemme]

Interesting what we deem playing to win....

 

[Papoose]

While waiting for an appt, I decided to do a little reading. Just got to the Book of Spartan. This book has me in my feelings y'all...d**n!

 

[SurferBabe]

Interesting what we deem playing to win....

Please elaborate! I'd like to hear your thoughts!

 

[yaya24]

I finally got the hardcover of the book.
I THINK PT II -Pg 123 picks up from where the audible book ended.

I will start tonight.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

This book is changing my life. I was shocked when he mentioned the law of attraction. I have had an issue with manifesting consistently in the past, I've also had a hard time not beating myself up for past "mistakes." This book has been my answer, my missing link. Its less about finding my husband more about learning/understanding how to enjoy life to the fullest.

I bought the electronic and audiobook. i am listening to Lesson One of the bonus chapter (Track 13) over and over and OVER again until I have it engrained to stop beating myself up over past "failures" and to stop with dreary Basica self defeating self-talk.

 

[Supervixen]

I saw this and thought, this sure is stuff Basica would complain about. Keep being yourself unapologetically Spartans!

http://www.thebolde.com/9-reasons-men-deserve-crazy-label/

9 Reasons Men Deserve the “Crazy” Label More Than We Do
One of the most common ways men take women down is by labeling us “crazy” — which is pretty funny when you think about it since men are the ones that make no sense. Here are some examples of men behaving erratically, inconsistently, and unreasonably which, if you ask us, is basically what it means to be a loon:

1. They chase us for weeks but the second we’re interested, they’re over it. Honestly, the speed with which they go from being “in love” to being bored is ****ing mind-boggling.

2. Just as a relationship starts going somewhere, they need “space.” Wtf. If ever there was a smoking gun proving that men are nuts, this is it. (If you haven’t read the chapter on men’s primal need for space in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, you should — it’s fascinating in a sick sort of way.)

3. When we give them their “space,” they usually just want to get close again. And we’re insane? #potmeetthekettle

4. They don’t want to break up but they’re not ready to commit.Or they’ll commit but not act like they’re committed. Or they’ll dump us but keep coming around. Guys, make up your minds and then follow through. Seriously, it’s not that hard.

5. Even when they’re totally into us, they communicate with us as if they can’t stand us. Fellas, if you like a girl, it’s probably not a good idea to ignore half her texts. Just sayin. And, while we’re on the subject, learn to send a text within a reasonable amount of time — your social calendar is not that tight.

6. They’ll often act like they’re really into us even when they’re not. We get it — you’re just trying to get into our panties and while that doesn’t make you crazy, it does make you an *******. But, depending on your reaction to our confusion as we slowly figure out your game over days, weeks or months, you might be pretty twisted too, per #7.

7. When they behave like assholes, they wonder why we lose it. According to the laws of gravity, if you drop something, it will fall. Similarly, gentlemen, if you do ****ed up things — like openly flirt with other women in front of us or lead us on just so you can get laid — we will react and it won’t be pretty. And if you continue to call us “crazy” for having a bad reaction to your bad behavior, you’re the real lunatic.

8. They’re selfish but call us “needy.” We’re apparently asking too much if we say we want to spend an afternoon together yet they’ll text us repeatedly at 2am when they’re horny after a night out and want to get laid on demand. Adhering to that kind of double-standard is not just unreasonable, it’s straight up cray.

9. They want us to be one thing but also the opposite. An example: too many guys want virgins in their heads but whores in their beds. Apparently, being desirable sometimes depends on how effectively we strike a balance between two totally opposing things. #justcantwin

 

[TopShelf]

Wow, I never pictured Clay to look like this. But when I think about it, his name sounds American Indian. The name fits the face. Cool.

In his other pics he looks Native American to me

 

[ChasingBliss]

In his other pics he looks Native American to me

Yeah that's pretty much what I was saying lol.
Listening to it over and over....I actually like his voice. He had me cracking up at his spoiler alert references...Talking about "spoilerlalert"

Or when he said "Ooooh, you get soaking wet....so does the next woman when aroused. It's not supersoaker Pssy" Or something like that.

 

[LovelyRo]

I like the book but, the typos are a distraction! I had to get that out.

 

[barbiesocialite]

I've been reading the BGAE blog the last few days and have come up with a bit of a realization.

I don't believe a man's desire to commit comes from a place of genuine emotional attachment or "love" as women define it. That is our arena. Men aren't wired that way. It comes from a desire to possess something he views as valuable and essential to his happiness and well-being. It doesn't stop there. To possess is the first step. The main goal is to have you exclusively for himself. When a man finds a woman whose presence in his life makes him feel like losing her permanently (to another man) would directly affect his happiness-- that's his Game Changer. He's willing to do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening. Competition. I hate to think of it in terms of a woman being something a man owns or possesses, but I believe men subconsciously feel that way.

There is nothing you can do to make a man want to possess you to that level. You're either it or you're not. You can cook and do laundry all you want, but if he feels like you aren't his GC, then losing you to another man only means he has to replace your laundry services with a laundromat, and he has to hit up his mom for home cooked meals. Losing a woman who isn't his GC doesn't shake up his world. When you start to demand things that are above the threshold of what he's willing to do to keep you off the market, it's worth the risk for him to be free of you so he can find the one that he feels can't be replaced. Your job is to qualify, observe, and force him to reveal the truth sooner without getting too attached until you know where he stands.

This has been the hardest pill for me to swallow but it is liberating in a sense. Men don't play fair... they play to win. Women should do the same. I'm not playing fair anymore.

This is interesting. It's well known that deeply embedded attachment issues.

I value loyalty over love because my only personal relation to commitment is that of moral obligation. It's a task, as well as a skill.

To be able to even get remotely close to someone I must first feel confident in ownership. I only ever love whats proven to be mine. Amd loves me so much they are emotionally indebted to me. In return I may make a conscious decision to pledge loyalty them. My commitment in essence is my perception of paying back a debt to someone who "works" for me and, thus, have proven themselves to have earned such commitment from me.

I think I was supposed to be born a man

 

[hopeful]

This is interesting. It's well known that deeply embedded attachment issues.

I value loyalty over love because my only personal relation to commitment is that of moral obligation. It's a task, as well as a skill.

To be able to even get remotely close to someone I must first feel confident in ownership. I only ever love whats proven to be mine. Amd loves me so much they are emotionally indebted to me. In return I may make a conscious decision to pledge loyalty them. My commitment in essence is my perception of paying back a debt to someone who "works" for me and, thus, have proven themselves to have earned such commitment from me.

I think I was supposed to be born a man

No Barbie, you are loyal, that is what is missing from many of these men, a deep sense of loyalty. But I do see what you are saying.

 

[barbiesocialite]

No Barbie, you are loyal, that is what is missing from many of these men, a deep sense of loyalty. But I do see what you are saying.

I'm just tryna get into this feelings thing.

Like not just my feelings but my actual feelings beyond myself in regards to and toward others. Tbh, im not sure how I *feel* about most of my loved ones. I just know I have to love them because I decided to commit to them.

Emotional attachment is really hard for me. I stop having, or maybe stop accessing, my feelings whenever my feelings are hurt. I just shut down and check out. However it doesnt mean I want or actually want to leave the person or situation. I just eventually get over it because I forget all about it---well, maybe I just supress. I think I have very good self-induced amnesia. This is why I'm concerned about being at high risk for Alzheimers but thats another story lol....

You know what, I just joked the other day that I have to hurry up n get rich so I can just buy everyone to make my life simple. Geebus, I am my mother's child.

 

[KiSseS03]

I think I need to stop consciously looking for awhile. I'm re-reading the book, slowly this time, and I'm taking in Chapter 5. I think I need time to develop my Goddess Consciousness.

 

[yaya24]

Went to a wedding yesterday and took 2 numbers. Curved 3 other guys.

I'm sad the ONE that I was totally digging lives in Orlando

 

[yaya24]

Not sure if the book talks to this.. (probably haven't made it to this section yet).. but should I tell the other guy that I've been seeing for a few months that I am actively dating other people?

 

[Layluh]

Not sure if the book talks to this.. (probably haven't made it to this section yet).. but should I tell the other guy that I've been seeing for a few months that I am actively dating other people?

Yes!

 

[yaya24]

Yes!

Thanks ☺

 

[caribeandiva]

Not sure if the book talks to this.. (probably haven't made it to this section yet).. but should I tell the other guy that I've been seeing for a few months that I am actively dating other people?

until you two discuss exclusivity I don't see why you should tell him (unless he asks). He's probably dating other people too. Until he makes it official you're free to date others.

 

[Layluh]

until you two discuss exclusivity I don't see why you should tell him (unless he asks). He's probably dating other people too. Until he makes it official you're free to date others.

That's true... I forgot to add the nuance like don't just shout it from the roof tops. But if it comes up, Don't hide the fact. And if it scares his weak ass off who cares. Men are supposed to be competitive and like a challenge.

 

[yaya24]

until you two discuss exclusivity I don't see why you should tell him (unless he asks). He's probably dating other people too. Until he makes it official you're free to date others.

Thanks ☺
I'm going to dinner tomorrow night with someone new, and the other guy has been beating around the bush with questions.

It started with him asking what I was doing after work tomorrow..and I said I have dinner plans.

 

[Layluh]

Thanks ☺
I'm going to dinner tomorrow night with someone new, and the other guy has been beating around the bush with questions.

It started with him asking what I was doing after work tomorrow..and I said I have dinner plans.

I went on a date the other day and just mentioned it casually. Hes still around lol. I think he asked me what I do in the area since I'm so new to the area. I just told him I go on dates sometimes and hang out with my family. He just asked "and no one has stuck yet?" I just said I'm having fun right now and that was that.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

I've been feeling a little sick over the past week, but I noticed today that my mood is a little down and then I started thinking about my ex. I realized that when Basica me feels sad she unhatches and clutches to every bad/traumatizing memory she experienced. I don't know why that has been my default, but Assata (my Spartan name) has no time for that mess!

When I say this book is changing my life, I mean it and I've only gotten through the first part of the book!!! This author has been able to address things to me in a way that I'm able to truly retain the information rather than forget about the message when I'm in the heat of the moment. I am able to truly forgive myself for my past "mistakes" and "disappointments."

If you are on the fence about buying the book, BUY IT!!!

I bought a physical copy of the book on Amazon and I should recieve it today.

 

[HappyMadison]

Ho Tactics is a good read. I think I'll be a "Ho" now, lol. I like Spartans, but right now ambition and power drive me more than love, if I am truly real with myself and not listening to my inner granny egging Me to get remarried before that window passes.

But my granny gives nuggets of "ho" wisdom every now and again. I choose to go all in. Because Spartans are investing "time" to screen quality. If time is money, I am wasting money. It still did not feel right. I can be beloved, but what can you do for me, besides give me love in return? I rather be a "ho." Read the book and you will understand. Spartans and Hos are the same with different motives. In Ho Tactics:

"The difference between a Spartan and Ho is that one is after genuine love, respect, or partnership while the latter is after money, material goods, or status . That ’s it!"

So we basically create our own destiny at this point. I would love to be a Ho Spartan, love and material comfort. I had to ask that question free of outside voices, what do I value. It was hard to say, at the moment, not love. Yes, I want that, but security is more important and companionship. It is just the Taurus in me. I have been indifferent to her, but don't hate Kim K., she got hers though. Discuss.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

Ho Tactics is a good read. I think I'll be a "Ho" now, lol. I like Spartans, but right now ambition and power drive me more than companionship and love, if I am truly real with myself and not listening to my inner granny egging Me to get remarried before that window passes.

But my granny gives nuggets of "ho" wisdom every now and again. I choose to go all in. Because Spartans are investing "time" to screen quality. If time is money, I am wasting money. It still did not feel right. I can be beloved, but what can you do for me, besides give me love in return? I rather be a "ho." Read the book and you will understand. Spartans and Hos are the same with different motives. In Ho Tactics:

"The difference between a Spartan and Ho is that one is after genuine love, respect, or partnership while the latter is after money, material goods, or status . That ’s it!"

I would love to be a Ho Spartan, love and material comfort. I had to ask that question free of outside voices, what do I value. It was hard to say, at the moment, not love. Yes, I want that, but security is more important and companionship. It is just the Taurus in me. I have been indifferent to her, but don't hate Kim K., she got hers though. Discuss.

I've always wanted a relationship with genuine love, respect, and partnership. I've never gone through a wild or *** phase. I say do whatever makes you happy.