Wow....this book is really opening up my eyes....
I now see how so many times in the past I was doing things wrong, or not really viewing myself as a "Queen"or a "Goddess". Now I see that little things here and there were actually "signs" (probably picked up by men I was interested in) that I didn't feel like a "boss" around them.
- Trying to impress them with my "accomplishments", talents, smarts/intelligence
- Wondering..."does he like me?"
- Accepting less
NOW it is so clear to me why the men I wasn't interested in were always clamoring to get to me, and the men that I HAVE had an interest in either played games, were lukewarm about me, or just plain not interested. It FINALLY makes sense! It was my mindset that changed when I was around guys I was interested in. I think men instinctively pick up on this. Plus, now that I know this "weeding out" game they do, I can be better prepared.
I'd be killing brain cells thinking about what's special about me.
It's really what the other person projects on to you. More about what they can see and are open to IMO.
Just be you, that's special enough. *Phew, this is exhausting*
Exactly... Me too. I shouldn't have to spell it out for you.
I think the point of the book is that you are special just by you being yourself alone. No need to list accomplishments/qualities or anything.
Exactly
That's the point
You don't answer that question, not even a little bit
The only feasible response I would give is
You'll find out if I decide your worthy....
I've never had a man ask me some mess like that
***
Hahaha! I LOVE it!
I agree 100%
The more I think about it the question is a real mind fluck. It sets you up to prove something that really isn't proveable and turns the tables so that women are then pursuing men by validating why the guy should spend time with them. Men know there's no right answer so the only point is finding out the woman's angle or weakness. It's the first move in a chess game.
^^BINGO!!! You've got it.
It has now dawned on me that men have been taught that they are basically the prize in society, but in actuality, WE as women are the prize. We get the short end of the stick though, because if you pay close attention, you'll see how commercials/tv/movies/books are usually geared to make WOMEN feel inferior and are about "fixing" something of women so that they can be more desirable (usually) to men. Women (especially black women) really have been dealt an unfair hand in society.
This book is opening my eyes up to that.
I also realized that men may not ask "what makes you so special?", but they may ask the equivalent: "Why are you still single?" UGh....I cannot STAND this question!
Imo...both questions are basically asked to weed you out and to try to tap into your insecurities. I have had a guy ask me that question before ("why are you single?") and it really turned me OFF big time. I'm sure in their minds maybe they were shocked that a great attractive woman such as myself was still "single"
, but in my mind it just turned me off completely. I wanted to retort: "the same reason why YOU'RE still single!!!" What does the reason matter? The point is we're getting to know each other now right???
Do you think men ask this to weed women out?
I was listening to a relationship expert say that when men ask you "what do you do" you shouldn't lead with your job, education and accomplishments. You should tell them what you do for leisure. "I like to play tennis, I like to travel, I go to the movies" etc. It's not that I think men can't handle an accomplished woman but I think it's more feminine to be a little coy about it?
I've heard this too.
In fact, I definitely try to steer the convo away from work and business. I used to spout out what I did without any hesitation, but I realized that it kind of intimidated men, or didn't really make the conversation flow as smoothly. I feel like it leads the conversation into a "business deal" or "bro-chick" territory. It's like...womp womp. BORING! Snooze fest! It doesn't lead the conversation into life, spice, flirting, and femininity. Imo it just makes the conversation become a bore when you bring up what you do for work. I actually HATE this question being asked on dates now. I'm so much MORE than just my job. In fact, away from work I actually
hate to bring up work lol.
I mean I would tell them eventually, but I would never come right out and say the exact words. Haha no. But I don't like telling anyone what I do anyway, so...
It brings the conversation away from boring, drab, work-related stuff imo. I NEVER mention my job title, or what I exactly do unless I'm probed further. And even then, if I feel a guy is getting TOO job-focused I'll just kindly say with a smile..."ugh...I'm away from work, I really don't want to talk about work ....". 
The more unavailable I am, the more they try. It's the strangest thing to me. I remember with one man he would not give up and I had to break it down and tell him point blank I was not interested which was really hard for me to do. Lambert says that's basically what it comes to. I'm in a similar situation now actually.
He did not get a second date.
I see sooo much of what I've done wrong in my past! Well . . .no more! There are so many jewels within the pages! I'm only on Chapter 11, but I'm learning so much! 
