Yep. I can do what I'm doing now by myself. That is not to say that I am marrying a man for his money because for me, it's not about marrying up...I want to marry WELL...and that means he can enhance my life spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. I work hard at being the very best woman I can be, and I am not interested in settling. I'm not going after some vision in my head of the "perfect" man, but I will not settle for mediocrity. I don't demand perfection from myself or others, but I will expect excellence. I'll remain single before I'll settle for a man who is insufficient.
Sen's Mom speaks the truth!
This very subject has presented itself in my life over the past few days after speaking with another woman who is stuck on the vision of the "perfect" man... and letting that same vision cloud her view of "excellence".
Excellence is in the eye of the beholder.
In my area of the world there's Karen and Yvonne and Mike.
Karen and Yvonne are on the same level. Early-to-mid 30's, degreed, single women, no children, well travelled etc etc etc...
Mike did not even attempt college, but around his late 20's/ early 30's he decided to pull up his pants and start his own business. Keeping the specifics light... he's the one you call in to handle one of the messiest parts of taking care of your home.
Most nights he comes home with dirty nails and grimy clothes.
He met Yvonne and she shrugged him off after two dates. She's on a mission to marry up and Mike didn't qualify.
Then he met Karen and....
cue the musical intro...
Karen and Mike dated for a few months. Three weeks in Mike was telling all of us that Karen was going to be his wife.
A year later, Mike bought a house. And told Karen (and us!) that he did so because he saw her and his children there.
A few months after that, he proposed. Surprise!!!!!!!!!
Fast forward through a wonderful wedding, and another "surprise" announcement and next thing we all knew we're matching funds against a registry at BabiesRUs.
Yvonne dated varied men who measured up on paper. They had all of the education, career, environment... but she's still sitting at the "Me Next!" table at every bridal and/or baby shower we're all invited to.
Ramble Wrap up... I find that too many women pass on truly excellent men in favor of chasing a false ideal of what excellence really means.
Most of the women in my circle passed on Mike because he doesn't wear a suit to work and only has a high school diploma.
But they claim to want marriage and children and a home with a man who will help them build a life.
Karen married a man who is willing to get dirty and break his back to provide a home for his family.
A man who has been viewed insufficient by more than a few. Funny how they are the same ones picking over what he hasn't accomplished and at the same time throwing tsks at Karen for her "dire" situation.
Karen married down.
Yvonne married... ??????????