Married & Single Ladies! Would you marry a man who is mediocre in the sack?

[kurlybella]

I say no.

My cousin married someone that isn't good in bed and she is miserable! She wants out so bad. I say she should have never married him if the bedroom business was not to her standard.....and it is still bad after almost 2 years!

wow! are we cousins to the same cousin?

 

[JinaRicci]

I wouldn't know for sure beforehand. But what really makes him mediocre? IMO, that would be selfishness, greed, arrogance, not open to feedback/honest communication, not driven to continuous improvement, boring/unadventurous, not caring enough to meet my needs. When a man is into his wife- he wants to please her! If it's based on experience then that's not a guarantee since each woman is different..needs/likes/dislikes are different... We can and should discover what we like together.

But all the other qualities would be part of his character which I would know beforehand and are impt to the relationship anyway. These traits would spill over into the other parts of the marriage and I couldn't do a thing to change them = miserable! Experience though could be had and tailored experience?- would be bliss!

 

[SparkleDoll]

Yes, currently in a relationship with one who is a C- on a good day. He knows he isn't very good so he kinda warned me before we did the do.

 

[DarkVictory]

Yes, currently in a relationship with one who is a C- on a good day. He knows he isn't very good so he kinda warned me before we did the do.

Whatever else he's lacking in other areas, you gotta admire his honesty.

 

[Ms Red]

Not if, even after 'the talk' he still does not attempt to improve.

Even if he fits all of my other criteria... sex is a very important piece of a marital relationship. When all other things around you flounder, it's that intimacy you can sometimes fall back on (I'm assuming).

So he would have to: 1) Be open to suggestions and willing to work on improving and 2) Show actual improvement and be able to satisfy me most of the time. He would know the deal before I walk down the aisle.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

My ex wasn't all of that but our feelings for eachother really helped in improving how we threw down in the bedroom. With love in the picture the mediocre can change...will change.

 

[Rastafarai]

H*ll no, I would not.

Chemistry in the bedroom is SO important to me. I realized this after being with someone who was perfect in every way except the bedroom. He wouldn't go down and thought pinching nipples was great foreplay and the ONLY foreplay. Not to mention his member wasn't all that.

Its a dealbreaker for me.

 

[sandee1on1]

H*ll no, I would not.

Chemistry in the bedroom is SO important to me. I realized this after being with someone who was perfect in every way except the bedroom. He wouldn't go down and thought pinching nipples was great foreplay and the ONLY foreplay. Not to mention his member wasn't all that.

Its a dealbreaker for me.

Why can I relate to the bolded? lol and then when you tell them that doesnt do it for you then they sit there looking like

 

[LightEyedMami]

My DH only had sex with one person, one time before me. So he wasn't that great at first, but since being married and being together, he is great. He knows how to please and satisfy me now. So yes is my answer.

This is EXACTLY me and hubby we met each other VERY young and lost our virginity to each other really young, so we were both mediocre but now , we ALL start somewhere...if you REALLY want to please your woman or man you will, and it only gets better!!!!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

[/SIZE]

H*ll no, I would not.

Chemistry in the bedroom is SO important to me. I realized this after being with someone who was perfect in every way except the bedroom. He wouldn't go down and thought pinching nipples was great foreplay and the ONLY foreplay. Not to mention his member wasn't all that.

Its a dealbreaker for me.

ROAR!!!!!

I thought I had it bad. My guy does go down on me and enjoys it. He's just not that good at it. And I have to show him how to touch me down there because he does it too hard. How can a guy be in his 40's and not know how to please a woman. I don't understand that concept at all.

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

Bad sex comes from being insecure... if 2 ppl love each other they can learn each other's wants and needs... COMMUNICATION PEOPLE!!! i love my degree

 

[mili]

I think good sex is a state of mind as with most anything else.... you must work at it what ever (IT) is to make it the best, in your minds eye.

if you both listen to each other and try your best, this can be overcome...neither of you can be selfish waiting for the other to please them... both have to put out max effort for success. Always listen and be willing to learn.

 

[syze6]

I think people miss out on loving relationships when they base it off of sex. You can have the greatest sex partner and sex can be all they have to offer you. You may find you really don't like the person, the personality isn't so great and the only real conncetion you have is sex. So you are really left with great sex and a unhappy relationship outside the bedroom.

 

[moonglowdiva]

Sex with a man with mediocre skills is by far the worst thing next to him not being receptive to learning. Think, never have the big o because he is the only person he can satisify and no one else. The only way you get one is to do it yourself. After a while it get old. I guess a true virgin will never know if a man has mediocre skill but lets be realistic. Most women have been there and know the difference. Why make yourself miserable. Love can change everthing. Love can change bad sex. My mindset is: If I have to have bad sex then I'd rather not have sex at all and I have not had sex. It has been a year and I don't plan on getting married anytime soon so there won't be any sex going on here.

 

[moonglowdiva]

I think good sex is a state of mind as with most anything else.... you must work at it what ever (IT) is to make it the best, in your minds eye.

if you both listen to each other and try your best, this can be overcome...neither of you can be selfish waiting for the other to please them... both have to put out max effort for success. Always listen and be willing to learn.

Good sex is not a state of mind. Some men just don't know what to do with it. Some men can't be taught. Some men have there own mindset and when you tell them what feel good to you that go off on some tangent about how they know what they are doing. Redundancy gets old. When you have had GOOD sex you will know it and it doesn't have anything thing to do with the mind. You will feel it. I got tired of imaging that I was having good sex.

 

[kiwiny]

Good sex is not a state of mind. Some men just don't know what to do with it. Some men can't be taught. Some men have there own mindset and when you tell them what feel good to you that go off on some tangent about how they know what they are doing. Redundancy gets old. When you have had GOOD sex you will know it and it doesn't have anything thing to do with the mind. You will feel it. I got tired of imaging that I was having good sex.

AMEN GIRLFRIEND

 

[cookie1]

This is a great topic. My first love was my everything..he was the perfect man to me but, the biggest cheater (I didn't see that part for a while). Looking back, he was the best lover to me at that time because I loved him soooo much. Once I left him alone and gave the guy I'm with now a try I realized he was terrible in bed. Girls, I hadn't had an orgasm the 5 years we were together but, I didn't even pay attention. He was short (yep) in more ways than one. My point is, unless you've had better they may not be mediocre in the sack to you if you are really in love with the person. Now if you've had better than you may have to think twice and you may not even be there long enough for him to mention marriage. I have too many girlfriends who stay in mediocre relationships for good sex and one dummy who left her hubby who was a man of old because of mediocre sex.

 

[sandee1on1]

This is a great topic. My first love was my everything..he was the perfect man to me but, the biggest cheater (I didn't see that part for a while). Looking back, he was the best lover to me at that time because I loved him soooo much. Once I left him alone and gave the guy I'm with now a try I realized he was terrible in bed. Girls, I hadn't had an orgasm the 5 years we were together but, I didn't even pay attention. He was short (yep) in more ways than one. My point is, unless you've had better they may not be mediocre in the sack to you if you are really in love with the person. Now if you've had better than you may have to think twice and you may not even be there long enough for him to mention marriage. I have too many girlfriends who stay in mediocre relationships for good sex and one dummy who left her hubby who was a man of old because of mediocre sex.

*Sigh* It seems like ALOT of men who are good in coloring are flawed in some way. As well as ALOT of men who are bad at coloring have some kind of redeeming quality.

 

[Lady S]

I would as long as he's willing to work on it. I'd hope my hubby would feel the same if I was mediocre in the sack (can a woman really be mediocre in bed? Even if she's just lying there, he's still going to get his rocks off versus a woman who is with a bad lover who will probably be "unfulfilled" at the end of the experience).