Locked his butt out

[pattyr5]

OP you said you got an anonymous message on FB that he is suppose to hang out with some girl on her B-day. Did you say anything to him about that?

Yes, this is what started the argument.... he knew exactly had sent the message and he unfriended her, but from there the problem only grew. Now let me be clear, I don't give a rat's arse about him hanging with a friend on a b-day or any other day..... it was the rest of the message that really set it off.

 

[StopMakingSense]

*lights up a newport one hunnit -- pours me a tall glass of Raspberry Ciroc*

ok..i'm workin wif a full staff now....got my drink n my stoggie lit up.

pattyr5 - lemme do a recap so i understand. you and ur boyfriend broke up n got back t'getha. but before he met u, he had other "friends" but he only kept dem in da stable cuz they provided benefits but he didn't want to be exclusive with none of them. let him tell it, they all knew about each otha. wow.

*takes a swig n a puff*

so when u question him about his "harem" he told u it was one stop shoppin and that they were only fillin da gaps until he found "the one". so now this time yall done did it up like Peaches n Herb and reunited cuz it feels so good.
so on this trip when u ask him again wassup, he tells u da otha broads done dropped off da wagon cuz he got witchu, all except for this one chick. let u tellit, he told u that da otha girl mad cuz he got witchu and now she beggin him n carryin on wantin him back.

so da otha night, u bring this up, yall get into an argument, he leaves out da house at around midnight, u lock him out and he went to go sleep in his car.

dis sum boolshyt and he playin u chile. ur da one iight but only for right now. dayum..his penis must be dipped in gold n studded in diamonds cuz he gotchu believin that ur da one and then he tellin u bout some chick dats cryin ova him. yeah....ok.

u sayin u pay all da bills and it's ur crib, but yet ur not gonna allow anybody to run ova you. press release -- he already ran ova you, just like he ran thru dem otha women. u knew that before u let him move in.

please understand that when u allowed him move in witchu, u have allowed him and and his "harem" to move right on in with u. think about it.

see, right now, ur his "meanwhile back at da ranch" chick. those otha chicks fell off, not bcuz he got back witchu...but because they caught on to his game -- but this time, he gotchu thinkin it's all about u, so tag ur it.

there are so many WRONGS and No-No's goin on in dis situation that it's ridiculous. so u think cuz u put him out for a few hours, that he's gonna straighten up and act right. if u think dat, ur delusional. if u had it goin on like dat wif him and if he was about u, then you wouldn't be complainin about what he does with otha women.

da otha chick is put on notice and hangin on in da balance waitin, cuz see, u don't know what he's tellin her about u.

let it go cuz da relationship is not going to last. u can't control a man and expect him to respect u like dat. seriously.

so uh....what time did u let him back in dis mawnin?

 

[ebonylocs]

I will have to respectfully disagree with you on this point as I am a person who is simply making it known what I will and will not put up with. Everybody has *rules* per se and we let people know what they are. There are the women who won't date an older/younger guy, those that won't live with a man until marriage, those that sleep with a guy on the first date and those that won't until the honeymoon...and it goes on an on.

From my point of view there were certain things that should be understood when people chose to cohabitate and he shouldn't have to be told about them. But if he is gonna sit there and act like he doesn't have any sense, I'm going to let him know. That door swings open and shut and he is/was free to leave if he disagreed with any of the principles I live by. He has a choice too....he is free to do whatever he wants however he wants but that does not mean that I have to suck it up and take it ...

Well, it seems like you didn't read the rest of my post. My point was that if it comes to the point where in order to get a guy to act right, you have to say to him, "My house, my rules!" then, sorry, IMO that guy is NOT relationship worthy. You are acting like you are because *he* is behaving like a teenager - wanting to keep a lot of girls on a string, "rebelling" against your relationship standards by posting stupidness on facebook, etc. I'm just wondering why you would put yourself in the position where you have to be doing that much work to keep a guy in line.

 

[Anakinsmomma]

Yes, this is what started the argument.... he knew exactly had sent the message and he unfriended her, but from there the problem only grew. Now let me be clear, I don't give a rat's arse about him hanging with a friend on a b-day or any other day..... it was the rest of the message that really set it off.

Reminds me of when me and my college ex broke up. He left me for his "best friend" (my dba55 had seen the writing on the wall about that for two years). On EASTER SuNDAY this chick leaves at least forty messages on my cellphone calling me all kinds of b!tches but I don't do anything cuz I was worried about my grandfather who was passing away. I guess ignoring her wasn't what she wanted, because at 12 o clock in the damn morning my ex calls all " have you been calling (insert heauxs name here)" and then he proceeds to cuss me out! Then for the next two weeks this heaux was harassing me, but I didn't know how to stop it because every time I tried to get him to get his girl to stop, he wouldn't believe me. I finally just changed my cell number, but then she started calling the house! I mean, didn't he think it was weird she kept asking for my numbers?

What was my point? Oh yea, men can be trifling ESP if they defend the crazy broad.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[tinkat]

I was like damn, all this drama over a *friend*. As he tells it she wanted to be with him and was not able to control her emotions. She was posting on his FB page sad faces, "I can't Sleep"..."Just Thinking About My Friend" and other stuff like that.

One thing I have learned is that when it comes to guys, they use the word friend so loosely. The word friend could mean fwb, just a friend, just a friend i use to f---, just a friend that I spend alot of time with and f---...the list goes on.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Yes, this is what started the argument.... he knew exactly had sent the message and he unfriended her, but from there the problem only grew. Now let me be clear, I don't give a rat's arse about him hanging with a friend on a b-day or any other day..... it was the rest of the message that really set it off.

Unfriending someone on FB, does not equal "unfriending" them in real life. IMHO. He has a lot going on. If this is happening in nine days, where is this relationship going to be in nine months?

 

[pattyr5]

Well, it seems like you didn't read the rest of my post. My point was that if it comes to the point where in order to get a guy to act right, you have to say to him, "My house, my rules!" then, sorry, IMO that guy is NOT relationship worthy. You are acting like you are because *he* is behaving like a teenager - wanting to keep a lot of girls on a string, "rebelling" against your relationship standards by posting stupidness on facebook, etc. I'm just wondering why you would put yourself in the position where you have to be doing that much work to keep a guy in line.

There is no work to be done....it was decidely over when I locked him out. This was not an attempt to put him in line or in check, it was about him not staying.

 

[finickyone]

Well I don't think anyone can get a clear picture of the dynamics of your relationship by just reading a few paragraphs & who am I to try to even dissect it.

I personally loved the way you handled it. Clank, clank, yes, lock it down lady! If he doesn't like the house rules, then he will either make some adjustments or move out. I also love the way you are handling yourself in this thread. You don't come across as immature at all. Hope it works out!

 

[sky_blu]

Changing Facebook statuses, names, telling him not or who to associate with or talk to, locking him out...mmmh its all childish AND yes it does make you look insecure. He's a grown man...by being so he should know right from wrong. If you're worried about him cheating, which Im assuming you were when you told him not to talk to his exes Im sorry but if thats what he wanted to do. He's going to do it no matter how many tabs or rules you give him. Im not into giving no man rules to live by. I know what I want and how much Im willing to put up with, when Im done I bounce, and I don't look back.

 

[pattyr5]

Well I don't think anyone can get a clear picture of the dynamics of your relationship by just reading a few paragraphs & who am I to try to even dissect it.

I personally loved the way you handled it. Clank, clank, yes, lock it down lady! If he doesn't like the house rules, then he will either make some adjustments or move out. I also love the way you are handling yourself in this thread. You don't come across as immature at all. Hope it works out!

Thank you.... I did what I thought I had to do, the way it had to be done. Of course some may disagree with how I handled it or even why it was an issue, but the fact remains that I am not living my life to satisfy the crowd and I am secure with my view point and actions. I actually enjoyed reading the diverse opinions in this thread and didn't feel a need to handle it any other way than how I had.....I mean if I couldn't deal with the critics, I wouldn't have made my business public

 

[hopeful]

OP you are a class act. I too am impressed with how maturely you handled yourself in this thread. Most would have been off the chain defending their man and telling folks off. And I'm glad you kicked his butt to the curb.

 

[gabulldawg]

We are not talking about platonic friends, we are talking about exes. There's a difference*IMO* It's one thing if it's your ex from Jr High and all you've every done was converse over the phone but someone you've seen naked? Nah, son.

I'm friends with a few exes too but they know I will dump them in a NY minute if the right man comes along **and requests me to do so** and vice versa. We've actually had these conversations. My relationship with my current mate will always take priority over someone I used to screw and I expect the same.

I'm not trying to be argumentative but I've seen so many people risk or ruin an otherwise decent relationship just to maintain contact with an ex that they claim they no longer have feelings for. I never understood it.

I know I'm late, but I just had to come in here and say your post is on point! I always give the side-eye to any individual trying to fight to keep an ex in their life, especially after entering a serious relationship...

 

[dreamgurl82]

I know I'm late, but I just had to come in here and say your post is on point! I always give the side-eye to any individual trying to fight to keep an ex in their life, especially after entering a serious relationship...

amen. that's the truth
Spells nothing but trouble