Locked his butt out

LMAO@emasculated
OP just be careful.

I've learned a thing or two and one things for sure, living together without being married is not the way to go. I'm not judging you girl. I was young and made not too great decisions once too. The one thing I hate about living with a man without being married is that it's so easy to just throw in the towel and say to heck with this. If you're going to kick him out after every argument he's probably going to get tired and eventually move on. Not that I'm taking his side ok. But sometimes talking things out is the way to go. If he doesn't want to let go of his old friendships then maybe he's not ready for a serious relationship. I wish you the best!!!

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Its one of those situations where some people are more lax when it comes to being friends with ex's and others are not. I don't mind if I had a SO who was cordial to his ex's, as long as it is not over the top bc there is a fine line btwn being cordial and being too friendly. It depends on the situation. For some people it works to just be straight up and cut off all past relationships. I personally like to leave the past in the past, but I am not going to be bothered if my SO still was cordial to his ex's (especially if they were friends for years). It all depends on the situation in the end.

He may be feeling a certain way because he felt that the decision was not made by him. Not saying that you should not have told him to stop speaking to certain ex's but I feel like when a person is truly ready to cut off all people, they will do it on their own. Maybe its time to look at the situation as a whole. And honestly its not about what the women do, its all on him. I feel a man will not let a woman come between his relationship and if he sees that it is an issue, he will handle his business even if you have to point it out a little bit.
 
Update: He came back after 45 minutes from taking out the trash....attempted to open the door and found the chain on. He proceeded to call and I proceeded to ignore. His night was spent in the car....

To reiterate or if perhaps I wasn't clear on a few things....this is my place, everything in my name and all bills paid by me. He is walking into my world and it is my belief that he should be willing to live by the rules of this house and the rules of the relationship. We are only just getting back together and these women who I refer to as his harem are chicks he keeps around for sex. Point blank he has no other use for them so what's the reason for them to be part of his life if he ain't supposed to be sleeping with them? And there is one in particular who is carrying on so much and crying how sad she is and how she misses him and how her world is ending. I don't think it is unreasonable at all to say this contact has got to stop if he wants to be with me and be in MY home.

He did not call the cops and I wish some cop would tell me I have to let him stay.... PLEASE!!!! He has been here less than two weeks and doesn't have the right to a damn thing. Say what you will, I'm glad I locked the door on him. Some anonymous chick sent me a message on Facebook saying that he was with her just this past Tuesday and they supposed to "hang out" next week on her birthday. If he got so much going on with his friends and they are so important to him then perhaps he should be living with them.
 
pattyr5 said:
Update: He came back after 45 minutes from taking out the trash....attempted to open the door and found the chain on. He proceeded to call and I proceeded to ignore. His night was spent in the car....

To reiterate or if perhaps I wasn't clear on a few things....this is my place, everything in my name and all bills paid by me. He is walking into my world and it is my belief that he should be willing to live by the rules of this house and the rules of the relationship. We are only just getting back together and these women who I refer to as his harem are chicks he keeps around for sex. Point blank he has no other use for them so what's the reason for them to be part of his life if he ain't supposed to be sleeping with them? And there is one in particular who is carrying on so much and crying how sad she is and how she misses him and how her world is ending. I don't think it is unreasonable at all to say this contact has got to stop if he wants to be with me and be in MY home.

He did not call the cops and I wish some cop would tell me I have to let him stay.... PLEASE!!!! He has been here less than two weeks and doesn't have the right to a damn thing. Say what you will, I'm glad I locked the door on him. Some anonymous chick sent me a message on Facebook saying that he was with her just this past Tuesday and they supposed to "hang out" next week on her birthday. If he got so much going on with his friends and they are so important to him then perhaps he should be living with them.
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I mean well when I say this but..these are issues you should have worked out before you moved in together. If this is going to be thepattern of behavior every time there's a conflict, you guys should call it a wrap now. Just from the language you used, I sense you feel its more like he's living in your space versus you two living together, not the right frame of mind for moving forward. Is couples counseling something you two woud consider?
 
pattyr5 you did what you felt at the time was correct.I say this on the lightest tread maybe ole boy isnt the man for you.You can do bad alone and you dont need nonsense after 9 days.But its you life and I just believe you dont want any headaches in your world.
 
awhyley said:
Facebook isn't the issue here. He should have told her how he felt instead of airing their business out on the street like that.
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Yes I do agree, my point us how people use this vehicle to publically air out their laundry. It's not the first time I've heard this and it won't be the last. It's more about how people use Facebook.
 
Wow... I still think it was immature of you to lock him out. I seriously doubt these issues and harems magically appeared when he started living with you.

I think you are realizing now that allowing him to live with you was a mistake.

I do feel that you all should have an adult conversation about the situation. You can't kick him out and lock him out everytime you get upset.

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nelcoy said:
Are you ready for the drama when he comes back? Him banging on your door. Neighbors in your business. Cops probably getting involved. According to Judge Judy, it is kinda illegal to lock out a tenet without proper notice. (If he is living in your house/apt , then he is legally a tenet.) If the place is in his name or both of yours, then that's still wrong.
Click to expand...

I don't know where OP lives, but in NY you have to be someplace 30 days before someone has to legally evict you. So being there only nine days, she's legally allowed to kicked his triflin' behind out.


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pattyr5 said:
Update: He came back after 45 minutes from taking out the trash....attempted to open the door and found the chain on. He proceeded to call and I proceeded to ignore. His night was spent in the car....

To reiterate or if perhaps I wasn't clear on a few things....this is my place, everything in my name and all bills paid by me. He is walking into my world and it is my belief that he should be willing to live by the rules of this house and the rules of the relationship. We are only just getting back together and these women who I refer to as his harem are chicks he keeps around for sex. Point blank he has no other use for them so what's the reason for them to be part of his life if he ain't supposed to be sleeping with them? And there is one in particular who is carrying on so much and crying how sad she is and how she misses him and how her world is ending. I don't think it is unreasonable at all to say this contact has got to stop if he wants to be with me and be in MY home.

He did not call the cops and I wish some cop would tell me I have to let him stay.... PLEASE!!!! He has been here less than two weeks and doesn't have the right to a damn thing. Say what you will, I'm glad I locked the door on him. Some anonymous chick sent me a message on Facebook saying that he was with her just this past Tuesday and they supposed to "hang out" next week on her birthday. If he got so much going on with his friends and they are so important to him then perhaps he should be living with them.
Click to expand...

He should be locked out of your house and out of your life permanently. You can find a better man. That's a lot of bull to put up with.

Tenant's rights my behind. People trying to teach you the law off Judge Judy. As far as I'm concerned this guy is only a guest in your home at this point. But it seems like you're letting him stay. :whyme:
 
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^^^Girl you need to let that go. Period.

Sounds like you'll be doing a lot of coddling and begging to get him to act right.. you're not his mama, plus you need to keep your health in mind if he's sleeping around.

I don't want to project but I can only think you may not feel that great about yourself or dating prospects to put up with that nonsense. Please know it is better to be single than to be humiliated and there are definitely men out there who take care of business mentally and financially who are willing to be an asset and blessing to your life. :yep:
 
Be glad you don't live in GA, OP. The police would not make my ex leave and being the kang that he was he decided to stay until I got on the Batphone and called my brothers.:look:
 
nappystorm said:
Be glad you don't live in GA, OP. The police would not make my ex leave and being the kang that he was he decided to stay until I got on the Batphone and called my brothers.:look:
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I would have straight changed the locks on his behind. What will the cops do?If they cared so much about where he slept, they would've brought him to their house to spend the night.
 
TamedTresses said:
I would have straight changed the locks on his behind. What will the cops do?If they cared so much about where he slept, they would've brought him to their house to spend the night.
Click to expand...
I did and he broke in. I tried to have him arrested multiple times and they outright refused. He eventually "went to their house" and the cops were asking when was I coming to bail him out :ohwell: I'll betcha his @$$ stayed in there over a month for a suspended license. By the time he got out I had already filed the legal proceedings, contacted his family to get his stuff, and had 5 or 6 negros on stand-by. He cut a fool for a hot second but after a nice little call from my brother, he got the hell on.
 
nappystorm said:
I did and he broke in. I tried to have him arrested multiple times and they outright refused. He eventually "went to their house" and the cops were asking when was I coming to bail him out :ohwell: I'll betcha his @$$ stayed in there over a month for a suspended license. By the time he got out I had already filed the legal proceedings, contacted his family to get his stuff, and had 5 or 6 negros on stand-by. He cut a fool for a hot second but after a nice little call from my brother, he got the hell on.
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nappystorm why didn't I see this in the kang thread :lol: wow, imagine trying to stay by force :nono: how embarrasing.
 
nappystorm said:
I did and he broke in. I tried to have him arrested multiple times and they outright refused. He eventually "went to their house" and the cops were asking when was I coming to bail him out :ohwell: I'll betcha his @$$ stayed in there over a month for a suspended license. By the time he got out I had already filed the legal proceedings, contacted his family to get his stuff, and had 5 or 6 negros on stand-by. He cut a fool for a hot second but after a nice little call from my brother, he got the hell on.
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That's crazy. I mean, how triflin can you be? It's not your place...move the hell on. And breaking in?! :nono: I'm glad you were able to finally get rid of him.
 
Zuleika said:
@nappystorm why didn't I see this in the kang thread :lol: wow, imagine trying to stay by force :nono: how embarrasing.
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I didn't really get a chance to get in that thread. It came during finals time and I would have stayed in there all day with his foolishness so I decided to wait until the semester ended.

You would think a man would have more pride than that especially when I started dating someone else. He simply said, "Oh you can bring him over, that's cool." What the hell were we going to do? Play checkers?
 
nelcoy said:
Are you ready for the drama when he comes back? Him banging on your door. Neighbors in your business. Cops probably getting involved. According to Judge Judy, it is kinda illegal to lock out a tenet without proper notice. (If he is living in your house/apt , then he is legally a tenet.) If the place is in his name or both of yours, then that's still wrong.
Click to expand...

If he has only been there for 9 days, that does not establish tenancy. She'll be okay.
 
Anakinsmomma said:
I don't know where OP lives, but in NY you have to be someplace 30 days before someone has to legally evict you. So being there only nine days, she's legally allowed to kicked his triflin' behind out.


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Click to expand...

Nevermind, you beat me to it. :up:
 
nappystorm said:
I didn't really get a chance to get in that thread. It came during finals time and I would have stayed in there all day with his foolishness so I decided to wait until the semester ended.

You would think a man would have more pride than that especially when I started dating someone else. He simply said, "Oh you can bring him over, that's cool." What the hell were we going to do? Play checkers?
Click to expand...


Wow, :nono: :nono: :nono: Low rent KANG.
 
OP...Why did you move this man is KNOWING damn well that he had all of these side chicks. Did you really expect him to change once he was under your roof? It seems pretty crazy that you knew all of this and then all of a sudden he supposed to play by your rules because your name is on the lease?
Seriously!
 
I don't understand why you would want to get with a dude like that any way. You really don't sound ready to share your world. All you are talking about is "I", "Me, "Mine". Mmmmmm I am not for shacking anyway.

So you locked him out?? So what is next? Dude will be back and if you invited him to live with you once, then chances are good you may do so again.
 
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