Letting him pay your cab fare

[SincerelyJane]

So I'm working on expressing my feminine energies, or at least just not suppressing them. There are still some situations that I'm not fully comfortable with.

Would you let a guy pay your cab fare on the first date? I mean, would you accept money from him? On my last first date, he offered and I turned it down.

I'm reading now that that was exactly the wrong thing to do . However, for some reason, I just feel like money should not exchange hands so early in a relationship? It feels cold. formal. transactional.

Would you take it? What is gracious way to take the money? Or to refuse it?

I told him no, he didn't have to, but thanked him for the offer.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I guess it could awkward since you're just meeting him? But ... I don't see a problem. Just ask him to give it to the cabbie. He sounds like he has good sense.

 

[hopeful]

What's the harm? I would allow a date to pay my cab fare without batting an eye. But you should do what makes you feel comfortable.

 

[priceless2608]

I would've taken it without thinking twice. It should be expected...paying for your cab fare was part of the date.

 

[ms-gg]

He is being a gentleman, I would gladly accept and encourage said behavior in the future.

That was sweet of him by the way.

 

[nlamr2013]

I agree its gentlemanly, but why is he giving you the money? id prefer the money go straight to the cab driver.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I would take it in a second. I think it's very becoming of a man who thinks enough of me to start off doing nice things for me.
...and I ain't scared of no money.

 

[*CherryPie*]

There's nothing wrong with a man giving you money...unless, it's payment for doing something that you're ashamed of.

Otherwise, its a good thing. And I would rather he give me the money than directly to the cabbie...unless he was riding with me.

I agree its gentlemanly, but why is he giving you the money? id prefer the money go straight to the cab driver.

 

[CurlyMoo]

I agree its gentlemanly, but why is he giving you the money? id prefer the money go straight to the cab driver.

I would rather it go straight to the driver but perhaps he trusted her with the money more than the driver.

 

[ladysaraii]

I would take it and thanked him....even though I would have felt awkward at this point. But why should he have to hand it to the driver? She's a big girl, she can handle money.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I don't see the difference between accepting the drinks and the meal (or whatever) prior to that point??

Is the taxi where you draw the line lol

Just seems like a continuation of the man taking care of it.

 

[daydreem2876]

Sometimes, women need to learn when to just be quiet and say thank you

 

[Lurkee]

OP, I understand your hesitation in collecting cash from him. I think it was good for you to say "no thanks". It would have been better for him to give the cabbie and then it will make it less awkward for you. If you are planning to see him again and he pulls out his wallet, tell him to give the cabbie and thank him for the gesture.

I've had male friends pay for my cab fare in the past. They have never given me the money directly and I always accept it.

 

[Lurkee]

I don't see the difference between accepting the drinks and the meal (or whatever) prior to that point??

Is the taxi where you draw the line lol

Just seems like a continuation of the man taking care of it.

The difference is that he did not give her the cash to pay for it. I think OP would have accepted if he called the cab and gave the driver the money. I won't accept cash from a guy on our first date (In truth, I find it kind of insulting) but would gladly spend his money.

 

[MzLady78]

Sometimes, women need to learn when to just be quiet and say thank you

Ok. I think this is being made more complicated than necessary.

 

[barbiesocialite]

Going on a date requires transportation.

If a man invites a woman on a date, ensuring or supplying transportation to go on the date is a part of the package deal. She's not taking herself out. lol

But as a rule with everyone (friends, fam, date, etc), if someone invites me somewhere 9 times out of 10 I expect to be picked up from my house and driven back home. After all, going out was their idea. If I wanted to go through the hassle of driving and burning gas money it would have been *my* idea to go out. Furthermore, if do decide to drive myself for whatever reason (usually to their house NOT the venue) depending on how far I have travel, I expect an offer of gas money. W/o consideration & appreciation for my efforts, there might not get a second date. One thing is certain, in the event of a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th date I most certainly WILL NOT be driving myself again. no thanks. If I were in a city where cabs are the primary method of transportation I would expect my date to ALWAYS pay for cab fare. ALWAYS. Matter of fact, I would expect the guy to ride with me to and from the date. If you are taking me out, I expect to be taken out---which means come to my house and *take* me out. After it's over *take* me back to the exact same place where you picked me up.

Also, I'm someone that tends to do what makes me happiest. I do what I want or what I feel like doing. For me, unless you arrive at my door there will be no guarantee that I will be attendance. If something happens on the day of the date where I dont feel like driving, I won't. w/o my date supplying firsthand transportation, date cancelled. Cabs? arrange one, be in the cab, pay for it then tip the driver or date cancelled.

 

[hopeful]

barbiesocialite

ITA completely. Great post! When men behave like this they also feel great.

 

[PeaceFlow]

The difference is that he did not give her the cash to pay for it. I think OP would have accepted if he called the cab and gave the driver the money. I won't accept cash from a guy on our first date (In truth, I find it kind of insulting) but would gladly spend his money.

Ahh I didn't see that part.

I'd prefer he give it to the driver. Maybe he didn't think it through properly.

 

[danniegirl]

i cant with all this rule mess i think its a situational thing you can let a guy be a gentlemen but an after the fact effort sometimes can be awkward

now if i was in the cab and he pulled out the wallet to pay i would not have a problem

however if i had already paid the cab then i would say no thank you to his offer to reimburse me but i would be very grateful he asked

its not that complicated just like dinner he would pay the person servicing us i would not pull out my wallet pay my tab then hold out my had while he gives me cash back.

 

[barbiesocialite]

i cant with all this rule mess i think its a situational thing you can let a guy be a gentlemen but an after the fact effort sometimes can be awkward

now if i was in the cab and he pulled out the wallet to pay i would not have a problem

however if i had already paid the cab then i would say no thank you to his offer to reimburse me but i would be very grateful he asked

its not that complicated just like dinner he would pay the person servicing us i would not pull out my wallet pay my tab then hold out my had while he gives me cash back.

Rules? who said anything about rules.

This is a matter of standards. Could be parents, grandparents, brother, friends, coworkers or the mailman, if you invite me somewhere I expect to everything to be taken care of. I'm not the one doing the asking or initiating the date/plan. Inviting someone on a date makes them your guest. Acceptance of the invite should be treated with gratitude--they could have said no, then there would be no date at all. A gracious host ensures that everything involving their invitation and event is provided, ensuring that your guest enjoys themselves for taking time out of their life to share with you. They didnt have to come, the guest is doing YOU a favor not themselves.

If part of the date arrangement & conditions is a requirement and expectation to for the invited person to pay for any aspect of the event, I dont consider it a date. That's an outing. A date requires courtship and chivalry. Everything should be taken care of for the invited from start to finish. Unless we are in a long-term relationship I dont consider paying for things relaxing, fun or pleasant. I don't care if it's $50 or $.50. If I wanted to make extra effort to interrupt my daily life, inconvenience myself with hassle of transportation, put in work or pay for things, I would take myself or would be on the other end doing the inviting.

eta: people are just different and are used to different things. This thread reminds me how some women enjoy going out with a group of girlfriends to a random party or event they dont mind no reservations, waiting in lines, splitting up bills, the simple hanging out suits them just fine. I'm not that person. Have never been that person. Will never be that person. I'm an introvert that hates being inconveinced. there needs to be good incentive for me to want put effort in and leave the house. I've had the same friends for years, getting me to go out means they have the tickets, vip access, no waiting in lines, table accomodations and they come to my house to get me. lol If I think anything is too much hassle or bothersome, I usually wont go and will gladly keep my butt in the house instead. Doesnt bother me at all and i keep to myself. lol

 

[Lucie]

I would have taken it. Does he have a car? Lives in a city that doesn't require a car?

I don't like PT! More like detest it! Anyhoo, I am a cute lady and my safety is of the utmost importance to me. I would have graciously accepted it.

 

[lux10023]

women over-think to many damn thingssss--good lawddddd....lol

why do women over think every lil detail about dating and men...?

Sometimes, women need to learn when to just be quiet and say thank you

 

[Lucie]

women over-think to many damn thingssss--good lawddddd....lol

why do women over think every lil detail about dating and men...?

That is easier said than done. Men generally do little things to test a woman. So the overthinking on how to respond comes from that.

 

[lux10023]

men testing women..not familiar with that type of man and feel bad for the chicks who are entertaining dudes who are testing them lol..

what he did wasss very basicccc!!! a man making sure your home safe and sound and paying for a cab is gentleman 101-ish--

cab fare is not mortgage money---lol so to me not that deep...
he offered me cab fare? what should i do? what does this mean? ladies is he a serial killer?

not directed at op but this is something that should always happen...so it appears this is the first time it has happened in this case which is interesting in itself...

women over think things way to much--and from these rip threads it seems like an epidemic...why are we always busting braincells over everything

get home safely in the cab and KIM lol

That is easier said than done. Men generally do little things to test a woman. So the overthinking on how to respond comes from that.

 

[Lucie]

men testing women..not familiar with that type of man and feel bad for the chicks who are entertaining dudes who are testing them lol..

what he did wasss very basicccc!!! a man making sure your home safe and sound and paying for a cab is gentleman 101-ish--

cab fare is not mortgage money---lol so to me not that deep...
he offered me cab fare? what should i do? what does this mean? ladies is he a serial killer?

not directed at op but this is something that should always happen...so it appears this is the first time it has happened in this case which is interesting in itself...

women over think things way to much--and from these rip threads it seems like an epidemic...why are we always busting braincells over everything

get home safely in the cab and KIM lol

Why would you feel bad? We all test people, to gauge how they really are to some extent. It's just that some people will purposely go the extra mile to set up situations to see how person will react.

However, I do agree that some people over think. Men are not that complicated. And they generally let a woman know by his actions EXACTLY how he feels.

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

I would have taken it. Heck my big sis made me take a cab somewhere. That mess cost over $50 and she didn't give me money for it. I'm still mad.

If I take a cab for a date that I was asked out of he should be paying for the cab.

 

[priceless2608]

The difference is that he did not give her the cash to pay for it. I think OP would have accepted if he called the cab and gave the driver the money. I won't accept cash from a guy on our first date (In truth, I find it kind of insulting) but would gladly spend his money.

Insulting? See, I would've been insulted if he didn't pay for my cab ride (handing the cash to the cab driver or me directly is the same difference). But different strokes for different folks I guess.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[priceless2608]

barbiesocialite You're passionate about this topic, huh?

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[SincerelyJane]

Lol come on people. I think people at getting the sense that I'm some low class woman who is not used to nice things

I recently moved and just got rid of my car not very long ago, so I'm used to driving myself to my first dates. I think it's the safest thing to do. But on most dates, I have either driven myself back, or dude has given me a ride home. These days I've been using public transportation/cabs because thats what makes the most sense, given where I live. So this was a new situation for me, but it's not because I date scrubs or have low standards or anything like that geez

If he had offered it to the driver it wouldn't have been a problem, if we had been sharing a cab then I wouldn't have thought anything of it. But I just think it's weird to take money from a man on a first date. Maybe its a cultural thing, I don't know. But I will say, if you're in a stable relationship, you're probably far away from first dates... But just as a reminder, even the best first dates have some component of awkwardness built in. That's just how it is. We all overthink things sometimes!

People make it so difficult to ask questions here

 

[SincerelyJane]

men testing women..not familiar with that type of man and feel bad for the chicks who are entertaining dudes who are testing them lol..

what he did wasss very basicccc!!! a man making sure your home safe and sound and paying for a cab is gentleman 101-ish--

cab fare is not mortgage money---lol so to me not that deep...
he offered me cab fare? what should i do? what does this mean? ladies is he a serial killer?

not directed at op but this is something that should always happen...so it appears this is the first time it has happened in this case which is interesting in itself...

women over think things way to much--and from these rip threads it seems like an epidemic...why are we always busting braincells over everything

get home safely in the cab and KIM lol

Come on girl. Obviously this was directed at the OP

I think it was a sweet gesture, I don't think he was obligated to do that, I don't think I should run around expecting men to pay my cab care, but if you live in that world great. I'm happy

I just hate the tone these sorts of threads take sometimes. People are like duhhhhh take his money girl . Clearly the situation didnt read that obvious to me, hence me asking the forum about it.

At this point I wouldn't have an issue taking money for him. But if we're to be in the same situation with another guy, I still don't know if I would take the money. I know you all think it's normal, I just think its weird for a first date.