You Have Too Many Rules

Maybe I don't get it? Me and my s/o text/call each other at all hours of the day. Usually we talk in the morning for about 20-30 minutes, then we text the whole day while in class or at work, all the way up until one of us falls asleep, around 3 or 4? He usually calls me the next morning around 10 or so, and the process just repeats itself. We've been doing this for about 3+ years mind you.

eta: oh I should share a rule too? ummmm. respect, but I suppose that varies from person to person. since some people perceive texts after 1 am disrespectful. ::shrugs::

(nothing wrong with feeling that way by the way. don't mean for it to come off like I am criticizing anyone for their rules)
 
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It is OK to text your SO at any time of the day or night, bc that is your SO. Those same courtesies should not be extended to a dude you just started dating or who isn't exclusive with you.
 
Oh, we were supposed to share rules.

  1. No calls before 9am or after 10pm unless different times were agreed upon in advance.
  2. No hissy fits if I don't call you right back. I have a life, you know.
  3. If you are 15 minutes late for a date, don't expect me to be there when you arrive.
  4. Make plans for a date a minimum of 48 hours in advance.
  5. Blockbuster/Netflix/Redbox and pizza in your living room does not count as a date.
 
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sj10460 said:
Perhaps he looks at me as a "booty call" but I don't think he text me thinkng that's what the end result would be. (I'm sure he hopes this) We're friends on fb and I updated my status so he saw I was up. In his mind he probably thinks it's okay to text since he knows I'm up. However, I still find it disrespectful to do something against my wishes. In any event I took it as a lack of respect.

I don't say my rules are xyz so follow them or else, but when someone "breaks one of my rules" I let them know that they did something I didn't appreciate.

But this thread is going in the wrong direction. I don't need advice on when or not to respond to a text message. I asked about you ladies dating rules. Perhaps I shouldn't have included the details that led to this thread.

To answer @yardyspice question, yes you can go from a booty call to a SO. A close friend of mine from college recently married his booty call. I think ultimately it comes down to the amount of respect a person has for you and if they're willing to see you beyond the physical
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I think so too. I think women direct where a relationship can go. I think he had respect and saw beyond the physical because she had standards that were beyond a booty call.
 
nicola.kirwan said:
Standards are great, but explaining yourself puts you on the defensive.

If you just refuse to acknowledge or respond positively to behavior you don't like, then it'll be him sitting there wondering what it is he is/is not doing to impress you enough instead of him being able to point and try and find fault with the rules you listed.
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@nicola.kirwan, This is my issue... Always seeing a need to explain self..

This is a great thread by the way! I am working on my morals and standards, sounds kinda late but hey I have been getting run over as of late, just to "have" someone to call on if you even call it that
 
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Anytime a man starts off saying "I'm a grown man blah blah blah", I know some BS is coming. That's my cue that we are not meant to be.
 
-No majority text communication. The guys should call at least 2/3 of the time to communicate and 1/3 text. No drawn out hours long convo with text. I used to be more relaxed with this one but some guys really take it overboard to the point where they won't answer when you call, but text back instead. Plus guys who do this constantly have a tendency to have already have wife, gf, or SO.

-Will exchange pictures via text/email only if the guy shares a pic first. Even and fair exchange. Every time he asks for one he better send a different good pic of himself. No naked/sexual pictures will be exchanged. Ask me once I will tell him I don't and please don't ask again. Ask me twice after I tell him. Goodbye. Unsolicited genital pics from him. Goodbye and block the number!

-On the first few dates if he asks me to go Dutch or takes me up on my offer when the check comes, he is no longer dating material. Goodbye!

-No text or calling after 10 pm. I will NOT answer until the next day way into the late morning or early afternoon. Late texting Only reserved for fam and best friends.

-No sexual conversations or sexting. Really bad experience with one guy who couldn't have a normal conversation everything was sex sex sex! Got rid of him quick! He is still trying to contact me three years later. I ignore him but I'm keeping records in case I have to bring up a stalking charge for a restraining order.

-More than an 30 mins late for any date/outing. Goodbye! I waited 2 hours before when I was stupid and younger, I felt like a total loser. The only exception if there was an unexpected traffic jam caused by an accident of breakdown, Atlanta traffic is unpredictable. In that case I will extend to one hour if I'm not hungry or tired. After that better take a rain-check!

-No house dates at his or my house unless there is like a group gathering, party, BBQ or such. No one on one alone.

-No sex of any kind before marriage. Period.

These rules apply to any casual daters. Some rules will relax and new rules made once a serious exclusive relationship begins. Men don't usual end up dating me for long once they find me out. The longest was 9 months with one date a month. Some guy must have told the whole city and metro area of Atlanta about me because I don't get date offers anymore.
 
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AnjelLuvsUBabe said:
softblackcotton, one date a month for 9 months, you didnt see a problem with that though... :perplexed
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Of course! I was younger and stupid.That's why I also have a rule that we must go on at least 1 or more dates a week. The guy must initiate the dates. A guy will never be allowed to that to me again. I come up with these rules as I experience more BS these guys try to run by me. Fool me once!
 
my only rule for dating is respecting me and having an overall respect for all women. that actually cuts out a lot of tom foolery. i know how i expect to be treated, and i'm very good at reading people in general (very intuitive).
 
My s/o used to call and text me all hours of the night when we first started talking too. Some of y'all are too strict. Do you ever think that he just might be THAT into you, that he wants to talk to you that much... Like don't you like feeling bonded with a person? Knowing their every move and all their thoughts every hour that you and he are awake? .........Okay maybe I'm weird. But. *kanye shrug* Hell when I used to date I would even initiate the texting around 3 am or so.. It'd always be a random question too like, "how do you feel about gay marriage?" Or "If you had to choose between seeing me beautiful at night and ugly in the day, or beautiful in the day and ugly at night, which would you choose?" I'm very random, fun, and upbeat. Most guys love that. Some of you kinda sound like a drag. Loosen up. Smile, go with the flow. Not everyone is trying to pull one over on you. In terms of like how far you'll go with a man, and being strict on that, I can totally understand, and like getting to know everything you want to know about a man before taking it to that next physical level, that I can totally understand.. But some of these other rules.. Like seriously? Some of you don't sound fun to be around. I wouldn't date y'all. Guys like carefree girls.
 
Mortons said:
My rule is do what I want you to do when I want you to do it and we will have no problems.
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Mortons :lachen::lachen::lachen: You are a mess.

My rules or standards
1. Do what you say your going to do no matter what. Ie you say I will call you in 15 min I will expect the call in 15 min or you should be contacting me to let me know something.


2. Respect my time and efforts. ie you desire assistance let's say resume help then you should show some sign of gratitude.

3. Don't waste my time

4. No calls or texts after 10pm or before 8am Mon-Fri and no calls before 11am on the weekends

5. Open doors and do what gentlemen do.

6. No grabby hands and no sex talk. Sex is for marriage now.
 
PersuasiveBeauty said:
My s/o used to call and text me all hours of the night when we first started talking too. Some of y'all are too strict. Do you ever think that he just might be THAT into you, that he wants to talk to you that much... Like don't you like feeling bonded with a person? Knowing their every move and all their thoughts every hour that you and he are awake? .........Okay maybe I'm weird. But. *kanye shrug* Hell when I used to date I would even initiate the texting around 3 am or so.. It'd always be a random question too like, "how do you feel about gay marriage?" Or "If you had to choose between seeing me beautiful at night and ugly in the day, or beautiful in the day and ugly at night, which would you choose?" I'm very random, fun, and upbeat. Most guys love that. Some of you kinda sound like a drag. Loosen up. Smile, go with the flow. Not everyone is trying to pull one over on you. In terms of like how far you'll go with a man, and being strict on that, I can totally understand, and like getting to know everything you want to know about a man before taking it to that next physical level, that I can totally understand.. But some of these other rules.. Like seriously? Some of you don't sound fun to be around. I wouldn't date y'all. Guys like carefree girls.
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Thankfully, there's someone for everyone out there :lol:

I feel you in being carefree, but I prefer to stay up chatting with men who are only into me. Can't waste good sleep on a prospect who hasn't shown his true intentions yet....:lol:
 
I am thinking that instead of having so many rules for the guy, you should have some rules for yourself...since that is the only person you can control. Like, I do not answer texts after midnight (or whatever time you deem appropriate).
 
RocStar said:
I am thinking that instead of having so many rules for the guy, you should have some rules for yourself...since that is the only person you can control. Like, I do not answer texts after midnight (or whatever time you deem appropriate).
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Well said. Very well said.
 
RocStar said:
I am thinking that instead of having so many rules for the guy, you should have some rules for yourself...since that is the only person you can control. Like, I do not answer texts after midnight (or whatever time you deem appropriate).
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This!

I knew something about this thread was igging at me but I didn't know what. This post hit the nail on the head.
 
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