Married ladies - IF you were single how would you meet Mr. Right?

[FlyyBohemian]

Part of the reason why it's a lot harder to find Mr. Right today than it was back then was because society used to be pro-marriage in our parents time. Marriage was expected of men and women were as good as their options. Also college education was not the norm so women were not as picky back then. I feel that since women have more choices today and don't need to exactly get married for a better life, they are not willing to settle for anything. I've noticed that lower class women and struggling immigrant women are more willing to marry older men, men with kids(babymama drama)or men who may not necessarily meet all the physical traits that educated or professional women may desire in a mate. That's because they are looking for a better quality of life. I've had men who were interested but I turned them down for my own reasons that I think only a women of a certain class or mindset would understand. They weren't bad dudes. The thing is because they came in a package I wasn't open too.

 

[Incognitus]

VelvetRain I'm not a fan of Atlanta at all. What is it about Houston that reminded you of Atlanta?

Raspberry Oh, ok. For some reason, I was under the impression you moved from Houston to Dallas.

 

[SunySydeofLyfe]

Personally. I would travel. You meet so many interesting people when you do. Even if you don't meet anyone that you're interested in, it will give you a more rounded viewpoint of people in general, and help you narrow down the personality type you're most interested in and open your mind to people from different places.

I'd also join social groups that focused on my interests AND some that might not be but where I know men frequent. For instance Sports, Investing, Technology and the like.

Most of all, in my opinion focusing on being the best you that you can be, will attract the right people in your life both men and women. HTH

I agree. I met my hubby while working out of my home town. He moved to where i live in Atlanta. I've dated great men but this one changed my life and view on love. Also knowing now what i know or realize stop with the my type. Obviously your type ain't got you no where.

Suny

 

[FlyyBohemian]

I agree. I met my hubby while working out of my home town. He moved to where i live in Atlanta. I've dated great men but this one changed my life and view on love. Also knowing now what i know or realize stop with the my type. Obviously your type ain't got you no where.

Suny

That's true, but the problem with me is that I've never really dated my type. It changes as I change. I gave up on finding my type a while back.

 

[lana]

Just bumping for those that haven't had a chance to see this thread. Married ladies feel free to update with where you would meet your hubby if you were single now. Thank you!

 

[Prettymetty]

I would have to meet him through friends or online. As a mommy of 4 I would never have time to go anywhere besides work. Sigh. I hope I don't have to ever find out what that's like

 

[caltron]

If I were single now, I'd probably try to meet someone the same way I met my hubby the first time around. I met a lot of great guys online as well as just being out and being involved in a lot of activities. When I was dating, I was very active in Meetup groups for young singles and I made myself take every opportunity to get out of the house. I'm not a club person and didn't really have any female friends to hang out with, so the meetup groups were a great way to find fun activities. We went horseback riding, bicycle riding, found a black art gallery that held all kinds of fun events for black professionals, poetry readings. You name it, I did it.

I met my hubby online on Myspace. We had chatted briefly and I decided to go out with him really because I had nothing else to do. He looked okay in his profile pic, but a little dorky. He seemed nice from the messages we exchanged but we really hadn't conversed enough for me to be excited about him. But when I met him in person, I was blown away and our personalities clicked. Classic love at first sight.

Before that, I also met a really good guy at a really funky coffee shop that catered to young black professionals. This is a shop that I discovered through a book club I belonged to and I really liked it because it had great music, atmosphere, and food. One Sunday I had nothing to do so I decided to go there to surf the web instead of staying at home, and caught the attention of a very nice fella. He turned out to be everything I could have wanted in a mate, on paper at least, and we dated for about 2 months. I could tell he was eventually going to want something more serious. However, I didn't love him and hard as tried to make myself love him, I couldn't. As soon as I met my hubby, I told him I didn't want to date him anymore. I felt really bad because he was crushed and he was such a good guy.

I also dated a LOT of other guys who were not notable at all. Even though those guys were duds, I still had fun being wooed and getting free dinner.

So I think the key is I was out there living life. There were many times I didn't feel like going out, but I made myself go and ended up enjoying myself. And finally on one occasion it paid off big time. Another thing is when you go out and interact a lot, the whole process of dating is not as intimidating as it would be otherwise. Instead of being nervous before every date, it becomes kind of routine and I think the extra confidence makes you more attractive.

Also, I don't think there is any one place that is any better than others to meet someone because you just never know when it's going to happen. It's just a matter of being out as much as possible doing things that you enjoy. For instance, if a woman is deeply religious, then being super involved in church activities or activities geared towards Christians will probably, somehow some way put her in contact with a man who shares her values and interests in time. A woman who is not religious needs to find other activities, which will lead her to her perfect match.

 

[CurlyMoo]

How do I find out where the charity events are?

I live in a small town, I think I will start a meetup group since there are none in my area.

 

[Farida]

Find something that means a lot to you and look for a man there.

If God is really important to you try different churches or ask ladies in your church to help you get some dates. There's this huge church full of rich, successful guys in my county. Had I known when I were single...

You can do meetup groups if you like outdoor activities or certain hobbies.

I also think university is a great place to meet like-minded people, so continuing education, auditing or interesting courses may be an option.

 

[lana]

Bumping for others...

We have had over 5,000 views!

 

[hothair]

I just read a lot of the thread about "Why don't women put as much work into dating as they do into finding a job?"

Married ladies - IF you were currently single how would you go about meeting Mr. Right? What steps would you take, if any? Please post. Your comments might help one of our LHCF sisters find her future hubby. You never know.

Love yourself first. Men would have you questioning everything from your birth order to your shoe size if you do not understand your own worth.

Be clear on the type of man/relationship you want and put yourself in scenarios to meet those sort of people.

There is no such thing as a perfect match. Make sure the big things are covered and "love/lust/his adoration" will get you through the rest.

DO NOT marry a man that is less into you than you are into him. Infact you need him crawling and begging to be with you for long term peace. (A man will finish you once he knows he did you a favour by marrying you ie prepare for mistresses and girlfriends and general not-give-an-effness).

Be clear on the sort of marriage/relationship you want and guide it there.

DO NOT let a man be in charge of your future! [But let him believe HE is].

Sex is an amazing weapon to get your own way without arguments, men love sex. Men love sex. Did I mention men love sex? [sex alone will not hold your relationship long term but works as an amazing cementing factor)

Tis all

 

[SophieDulce]

I'd probably take 2 years off and heal. Then go back on the dating scene. I don't think id want to immediately jump back into a relationship

 

[lana]

I think this thread offers really good advice. Single ladies, let us know if any of this has worked for you out there. Did you meet a man that you're in a relationship with now based on the advice in this thread?