Ladies, I'm thinking about doing an experiment....

[Lenee925]

Can someone give the Cliff Notes version of these books? I have read a few books like the 5 Love Languages and Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married and I found both to be very helpful.

Well I haven't finished the book yet but I downloaded it last night and am on page 64 lol. Out of sheer curiosity, I figured I'd see if the author was full of ****. Tonight I tried the "Interviewing" techniques on a man that has my attention and he kept me on the phone for over 2 hours, just singing to me. By singing I mean that he was essentially telling me whatever I wanted to know about him. He is a bit of an introvert and is not a self-discloser but I used the Interviewing techniques the author gives to get the man to "emote" and "trust you" as he feels free to reveal things about himself.

At the end of the conversation, he said to me: "I realllly like you Lenee925...(silence)...I enjoyed talking with you a lot...Can I call you again tommorrow?"



Cliffs forthcoming!

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Well I haven't finished the book yet but I downloaded it last night and am on page 64 lol. Out of sheer curiosity, I figured I'd see if the author was full of ****. Tonight I tried the "Interviewing" techniques on a man that has my attention and he kept me on the phone for over 2 hours, just singing to me. By singing I mean that he was essentially telling me whatever I wanted to know about him. He is a bit of an introvert and is not a self-discloser but I used the Interviewing techniques the author gives to get the man to "emote" and "trust you" as he feels free to reveal things about himself.

At the end of the conversation, he said to me: "I realllly like you Lenee925...(silence)...I enjoyed talking with you a lot...Can I call you again tommorrow?"



Cliffs forthcoming!

Yesssss..... Those interviewing technique work.... It's amazing that guys can open up so much and really feel closer to you, but they know nothing about you.

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[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Lenee925 downloaded as in......for free? Or kindle? And which book are you referring to?

 

[DejaVu2]

Yesssss..... Those interviewing technique work.... It's amazing that guys can open up so much and really feel closer to you, but they know nothing about you.

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Lenee925 and Do_Si_Dos - mind sharing those interview techniques. I sometimes have problems getting men to open up to me

 

[babyu21]

Tell me more, tell me more! Yes, please post the cliff notes. I am getting to know someone new and I can't decide if I want to move forward or not. I just can't seem to make up my mind, one day I say no, then the next it is yes. Thankfully he is out of town at the moment but when he comes back I would really like to have my thoughts together.

Waits patiently for cliff notes...

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

DejaVu21 babyu21

Interviewing him simply is simply what it says. One the first few dates allow him to talk about himself. Dont sound like an actual interview, just ask a few questions and they start talking. If you go to a nice restaurant ask what was his favorite childhood meal. He may say his grandmother used to cook fried chicken and mac and cheese all the every sunday. You say oh really that sounds really good, she sounds she may have bee a big part of your life, then he should kind of elaborate.

The idea is too get as much info as possible, without giving too much of yourself. You want to be in a position to walk away if you dont like him. This helps protect you from investing to much emotionally and he feels closer to you. You should open up later, but after he is more invested. Apparently, men like to talk about themselves. They feel closer to you when you actively listen to them. And I will say this works wonders.

I will write more but I am on my phone, so it is difficult to going into detail. These are the basics to get you started.

Oh I say dates, I am not a phone girl. I prefer face to face interaction. I am sure interviewing works on the phone too.

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[jennboo]

Why Men Love *****es is probably the best relationship book i've ever read.

I understand the whole nurturing thing, cooking for your man all the time, talking on the phone everyday for hours, tending to him may work short term, but i feel like eventually gestures like these will cause him to take you for granted and lessen his attraction for you. I like wmlb because it emphasizes behaviors that will likely KEEP the guy around and have him still interested for a while.

I don't know. I am still of the opinion that the best way to deal with men in the courtship stage and even a bit when you're dating or exclusive is to play hard to get, dont always be available, dont talk on the phone with folks for hrs and hrs, short and sweet, you give them a little bit and leave them craving more...never let them get satiated. Basically retain yor own life and THEY have to try to fit themselves into your schedule.

Sadly, i am just now applying these principles... and honestly they are working.

 

[Lenee925]

Lenee925 downloaded as in......for free? Or kindle? And which book are you referring to?

I downloaded it to kindle for 9.99$. So far I'd say it's worth the price. HTH

Lenee925 and Do_Si_Dos - mind sharing those interview techniques. I sometimes have problems getting men to open up to me

Check out Dos Si Dos' post below! If you start there
you should be good to go for a little while.

Tell me more, tell me more! Yes, please post the cliff notes. I am getting to know someone new and I can't decide if I want to move forward or not. I just can't seem to make up my mind, one day I say no, then the next it is yes. Thankfully he is out of town at the moment but when he comes back I would really like to have my thoughts together.

Waits patiently for cliff notes...

I think the main thing you have to do is decide whether or not you are interested in trying these techniques on this man. The author says you have to at least know you are interested and not waffling back and forth. If you use these techniques on a man you are unsure about, it will make you a heartbreaker! Make up your mind that he is worth your time, then employ the techniques. Thats my two cents. I imagine you will have NO trouble at all once you use them on the man that catches your attention

DejaVu2babyu21

Interviewing him simply is simply what it says. One the first few dates allow him to talk about himself. Dont sound like an actual interview, just ask a few questions and they start talking. If you go to a nice restaurant ask what was his favorite childhood meal. He may say his grandmother used to cook fried chicken and mac and cheese all the every sunday. You say oh really that sounds really good, she sounds she may have bee a big part of your life, then he should kind of elaborate.

The idea is too get as much info as possible, without giving too much of yourself. You want to be in a position to walk away if you dont like him. This helps protect you from investing to much emotionally and he feels closer to you. You should open up later, but after he is more invested. Apparently, men like to talk about themselves. They feel closer to you when you actively listen to them. And I will say this works wonders.

I will write more but I am on my phone, so it is difficult to going into detail. These are the basics to get you started.

Oh I say dates, I am not a phone girl. I prefer face to face interaction. I am sure interviewing works on the phone too.

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These are awesome notes. Pretty much everything a gal needs to get started is in your post! I'm not a phone person either! I interviewed him on the phone because this particular person lives 3,000 miles away, but I'm glad to know it still works

 

[Lenee925]

Why Men Love *****es is probably the best relationship book i've ever read.

I understand the whole nurturing thing, cooking for your man all the time, talking on the phone everyday for hours, tending to him may work short term, but i feel like eventually gestures like these will cause him to take you for granted and lessen his attraction for you. I like wmlb because it emphasizes behaviors that will likely KEEP the guy around and have him still interested for a while.

I don't know. I am still of the opinion that the best way to deal with men in the courtship stage and even a bit when you're dating or exclusive is to play hard to get, dont always be available, dont talk on the phone with folks for hrs and hrs, short and sweet, you give them a little bit and leave them craving more...never let them get satiated. Basically retain yor own life and THEY have to try to fit themselves into your schedule.

Sadly, i am just now applying these principles... and honestly they are working.

I will definitely keep this in mind because this brings me results too and is natural for me lol. I think I'll use both and see what happens

 

[DejaVu2]

@Do_Si_Dos - Thanks

*taking notes*

 

[babyu21]

Do_Si_Dos Thanks so much for the information. I actually think I accidentally did this with the guy I am talking to at the moment and it really did work. I am not sure if I want to proceed because I have a lot of personal issues going on with me at the moment.

He does seem more interested than I am which is why I am thinking this is the way to go. He's giving up all his background info and he doesn't really have much on me at the moment. Now if I could only make up my darn mind I would be good to do.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Do_Si_Dos Thanks so much for the information. I actually think I accidentally did this with the guy I am talking to at the moment and it really did work. I am not sure if I want to proceed because I have a lot of personal issues going on with me at the moment.

He does seem more interested than I am which is why I am thinking this is the way to go. He's giving up all his background info and he doesn't really have much on me at the moment. Now if I could only make up my darn mind I would be good to do.

babyu21
Thats the great thing about the technique it puts you in a position to gain as much info as possible, and you can leave easier because you are not emotionally invested.

I will say this, if you dont like him now you may not like him later. Just take the time to figure it out.

One thing she says is date, date, date and put yourself in a place to "choose" the best husband for you.

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[Flawless_JYM]

babyu21
Thats the great thing about the technique it puts you in a position to gain as much info as possible, and you can leave easier because you are not emotionally invested.

I will say this, if you dont like him now you may not like him later. Just take the time to figure it out.

One thing she says is date, date, date and put yourself in a place to "choose" the best husband for you.

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I agree but honestly alot of dudes I talk to about would put a chick in the just sex category if she is just date, date, dating. I guess its a gift and a curse but gotta find a balance.

 

[babyu21]

I agree but honestly alot of dudes I talk to about would put a chick in the just sex category if she is just date, date, dating. I guess its a gift and a curse but gotta find a balance.

I have made the mistake of putting all my eggs in one basket so this time around I would like to have other options. I am not saying I will out in the streets all the live long day but I would like to have someone else to hang out with if he doesn't live up to expectations.

Besides, I would bet good money that he is making lots of friends in Miami at the moment with his frat brothers.

ETA: One of my girlfriends gave me two books a few years ago after see got married, something just told me to look on my bookshelf and guess what the title of the book I decided NOT to read is...... How to marry the man of your choice by Margaret Kent. This book has been sitting on my shelf unread for almost two years now. Guess I will read this tomorrow since I don't have any plans.

 

[Flawless_JYM]

^^ I hear you and wish you the best it just makes it hard because alot of guys do think like this. My own brother thinks like this also but at least he follows the rule himself so I can't blame him for wanting it in a person he talks to.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

I agree but honestly alot of dudes I talk to about would put a chick in the just sex category if she is just date, date, dating. I guess its a gift and a curse but gotta find a balance.

Dating doesnt equal sex, if he is really into you he will make things exclusive. That putting you on a sex only list is an excuse not to be with you.



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[Lenee925]

Dating doesnt equal sex, if he is really into you he will make things exclusive. That putting you on a sex only list is an excuse not to be with you.



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How's the techniques working for you so far? Have you done the criticisms yet? I have done some light teasing which got results, but I'm not feeling the "honey, you're too short but I really like your eyes" stuff. I do understand the point she's making though

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

How's the techniques working for you so far? Have you done the criticisms yet? I have done some light teasing which got results, but I'm not feeling the "honey, you're too short but I really like your eyes" stuff. I do understand the point she's making though

So far so good for me. I dont understand the critcisms either, so I decided not to try that techique. How are things going for you?

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[Lenee925]

So far so good for me. I dont understand the critcisms either, so I decided not to try that techique. How are things going for you?

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Glad to hear things are going well for you. So the last time I did the interviewing, I could tell he was eating it up. I had to pull back and be more subtle with what I was doing do it wouldn't seem obvious. I also had to intermittently interject my own thoughts when I felt he wanted me to reciprocate. I asked him about his childhood, high school (past), he was emoting pretty good and then starting telling me his present and future plans. He is opening up more and more as I get him to trust me with the 'real' him.

Yesterday he asked me if I wanted to ever go to the Caribbean with him for 6 months......

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Glad to hear things are going well for you. So the last time I did the interviewing, I could tell he was eating it up. I had to pull back and be more subtle with what I was doing do it wouldn't seem obvious. I also had to intermittently interject my own thoughts when I felt he wanted me to reciprocate. I asked him about his childhood, high school (past), he was emoting pretty good and then starting telling me his present and future plans. He is opening up more and more as I get him to trust me with the 'real' him.

Yesterday he asked me if I wanted to ever go to the Caribbean with him for 6 months......

He is really interested in you! Do you like him?


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[RoseTintedCheeks]

Why Men Love *****es is probably the best relationship book i've ever read.

I understand the whole nurturing thing, cooking for your man all the time, talking on the phone everyday for hours, tending to him may work short term, but i feel like eventually gestures like these will cause him to take you for granted and lessen his attraction for you. I like wmlb because it emphasizes behaviors that will likely KEEP the guy around and have him still interested for a while.

I don't know. I am still of the opinion that the best way to deal with men in the courtship stage and even a bit when you're dating or exclusive is to play hard to get, dont always be available, dont talk on the phone with folks for hrs and hrs, short and sweet, you give them a little bit and leave them craving more...never let them get satiated. Basically retain yor own life and THEY have to try to fit themselves into your schedule.

Sadly, i am just now applying these principles... and honestly they are working.

This book is great. You have to think of yourself as the prize. Never let a guy make you think YOU should feel like the lucky one. Puhleasse.

 

[Lenee925]

He is really interested in you! Do you like him?


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Sorry girl I meant to reply that day but my phone was fracking up.

Yeah I think he is. I do like him, but I'm not investing too much in him emotionally at this point.

I was like "danggggg" the other night because he actually told me he was a lil jealous and embarrassed to admit it. I mean, it's pretty ridiculous to me that he would be; and I definitely don't encourage jealousy in a man but it was kinda hot I won't lie. Anyway he got kinda pissy so I had to use the diffusing an argument techniques and they worked very well

I didn't think I'd have to use it so soon lol...but have you had to diffuse a disagreement using the techniques yet?

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Sorry girl I meant to reply that day but my phone was fracking up.

Yeah I think he is. I do like him, but I'm not investing too much in him emotionally at this point.

I was like "danggggg" the other night because he actually told me he was a lil jealous and embarrassed to admit it. I mean, it's pretty ridiculous to me that he would be; and I definitely don't encourage jealousy in a man but it was kinda hot I won't lie. Anyway he got kinda pissy so I had to use the diffusing an argument techniques and they worked very well

I didn't think I'd have to use it so soon lol...but have you had to diffuse a disagreement using the techniques yet?

At the second bolded: lol, I haven't gotten that far in my friendships. I am happy they worked for you though.

At the first bolded: I think a little jealousy is healthy, and attractive! It shows he is interested. When he starts going postal thats when you should run!

 

[Lenee925]

At the second bolded: lol, I haven't gotten that far in my friendships. I am happy they worked for you though.

At the first bolded: I think a little jealousy is healthy, and attractive! It shows he is interested. When he starts going postal thats when you should run!

Ha yes! Thanks for your opinion on that. Have you been smiling at guys like she says? How is that working for you?

 

[lushcoils]

What does she say about smiling at guys?

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

Ha yes! Thanks for your opinion on that. Have you been smiling at guys like she says? How is that working for you?

I have never really had a problem with guys approaching me, so I guess I do this naturally.

What does she say about smiling at guys?

Smile at EVERY guy you see, lol!

 

[lushcoils]

I have never really had a problem with guys approaching me, so I guess I do this naturally.



Smile at EVERY guy you see, lol!

As in young, old, married, single, attractive, unattractive....?

And for how long? What kind of smile?

Any place?

What kind of results have you been getting?

 

[Lenee925]

I have never really had a problem with guys approaching me, so I guess I do this naturally.



Smile at EVERY guy you see, lol!

LUL I don't really get approached much. For example, this San Francisco cop was staring as I walked down the street and checked the parking meter. I thought maybe I should ask him the parking rules for the meter, so I did. I walk away and he waits until I get almost 20 feet away before running up to me and asking me my name and spitting game saying I'm "intimidating and sexy"...ok.

Like Maggie says, I need to look more guy-friendly and work on being more approachable. I have started smiling at them all so I guess that's a start! Help me if you have anymore tips................

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

As in young, old, married, single, attractive, unattractive....?

And for how long? What kind of smile?

Any place?

What kind of results have you been getting?

Yes to all of the above. I think the idea is to look pleasant and not crazy when you smile. Smiling makes you appear more approachable. Everywhere you go smile at people.

LUL I don't really get approached much. For example, this San Francisco cop was staring as I walked down the street and checked the parking meter. I thought maybe I should ask him the parking rules for the meter, so I did. I walk away and he waits until I get almost 20 feet away before running up to me and asking me my name and spitting game saying I'm "intimidating and sexy"...ok.

Like Maggie says, I need to look more guy-friendly and work on being more approachable. I have started smiling at them all so I guess that's a start! Help me if you have anymore tips................

This is what I had to work on. I was dressing for women, and I really needed to tone down according to Maggie. I am still working on a more simple but sexy wardrobe.

Lol, the more you smile at guys the more natural it will become.

I wonder if her techniques work once you are in a serious relationship.

 

[Lenee925]

Yes to all of the above. I think the idea is to look pleasant and not crazy when you smile. Smiling makes you appear more approachable. Everywhere you go smile at people.





This is what I had to work on. I was dressing for women, and I really needed to tone down according to Maggie. I am still working on a more simple but sexy wardrobe.

Lol, the more you smile at guys the more natural it will become.

I wonder if her techniques work once you are in a serious relationship.

Yes, exactly! Have you noticed that the more casual-sexy you are dressed, the more positive reactions you get from males?

Yeah I think I will start to smile more because I think it is a projection of how I feel about myself really.

I also wonder if her techniques would work in a serious relationship. I'm willing to bet that the chances of success only increase though or at least stay the same.

What do you think about this lady? I have been watching her videos and find them very simple but good reminders/basic insight.

(all these videos are very short but you don't have to watch them all LOL)


How To Appear More Approachable

http://www.monkeysee.com/play/4362-How-can-you-appear-more-approachable?


What is Flirting?

I like how she reminds us to smile and that flirting isn't a "marriage proposal" but is used to be more warm and make the person feel better about themselves without acting desperate

http://www.monkeysee.com/play/3383-What-is-flirting?-


And the basic things that guys look for that's not so deep:

What Are Men Looking For?

http://www.monkeysee.com/play/4354-What-are-men-looking-for?

What Else is Visually Important?

http://www.monkeysee.com/play/4360-What-else-is-visually-important?