Ladies, can I vent?

[Latomian]

I know I shouldn't have answered the phone. An EX FRIEND from college called me today to tell me that the girl that my ex knocked up is having a baby girl AND what her name is. And had the nerve to make that be the first thing she told me!!!!!!! I haven't even begun to heal yet. My normal bp is 90/60...and it dropped today. I can't eat anything...I'm so tired and light-headed. I can't seem to cry enough! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! In these situations, people have family or friends but I'm suffering through this alone and I can't. It hurts. It hurts too much and I can't get away from the pain. In all honesty, ladies, I'm not sure how much more I can withstand. I feel beyond words. I can't take any more pain in my life. My ex was the only person who helped me with healing from severe child abuse, right? Now, he's another person who I can't trust!! WTH??!

I feel like God has turned his back on me and if I knew why, I would do anything to fix it.

I wish I had somebody. Just one...somebody to like, hold me or something? Oh my gosh, this hurts.

I'm sorry but I had to try to get this off my chest.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Big hugs to you!!!

This happened to me with a 'friend' years ago. We weren't hanging out as much, at one point we were 'best friends' but we were growing apart. Anyway, she called out of the blue to 'catch up' but at the very END of the conversation "Oh I heard that ___ had a baby with____?" I'm onto her though so I respond with "Wouldn't be surprised, glad it ain't ME!" Her: *Giggles* well I'll talk to you later" Even though I handled it well, I was heated because she really only called to throw that in my face, there was nothing even remotely important that we talked about before she said that.

I'd change your number so 'friends' like these can no longer contact you.

 

[MoMo]

This is even more of a time for you to turn to GOD. He has not forsaken you. People disappoint - GOD does not. The only way you can move past something like this is to turn to GOD. HE can give you the strength that you cannot find in yourself or anyone else. I watched someone go through something similar to this about 6 years ago and she pulled through...so I know that it can be done.

to you and GOD bless!

 

[SvelteVelvet]

This is even more of a time for you to turn to GOD. He has not forsaken you. People disappoint - GOD does not. The only way you can move past something like this is to turn to GOD. HE can give you the strength that you cannot find in yourself or anyone else. I watched someone go through something similar to this about 6 years ago and she pulled through...so I know that it can be done.

to you and GOD bless!

And ditto to this.

Girl, never let a MAN turn you away from God. These moments come to turn us closer to Him. Let this be a reminder that man WILL forsake you. The only one you should bring your burdens to especially the burdens you've been carrying all these years is the Lord. You may feel He cannot comfort you in the physical sense, but His spiritual comfort overrides any human being holding you. I hope you can find it in your heart to pray until you get your breakthrough. I'll send one up for you. This too shall pass.

 

[TexturedTresses]

your post made me feel sad. that lady is not your friend. i just want you to know that eventually it will get better.

 

[discobiscuits]

MoMo & Svelte said it. I was going to say that perhaps God is making room in your life for Him and only Him. He is the One you need to rely on for healing from severe child abuse. He should be the one you go to with your pain in this situation. Your Daddy (ABBA Father) is waiting on you to acknowledge Him and ask Him to expose, reveal and remove all people, places, activities, memories, past hurts, etc from your life that will hinder you. He is waiting on you right now to come to Him and cry on His shoulder. He is waiting on you to ask Him what you should do next. He is waiting on you so that he can show you the bullet you dodged. He is waiting on you so that He can introduce you to new people who will not glory in bringing you news that they know will tear you down instead of build you up.

He removed stumbling blocks from your path and has made room in your life for Him because He misses you and He is waiting on you. Right now.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

that EX friend was just plain MEAN spirited. HUGSSSS

 

[butterfly_wings]

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, don't worry you'll be ok in the end

 

[RavenMaven]

I will try not to make this long, but if you would like more details, just PM me.
You know, I can say that I have been through a somewhat similar situation myself. I may not be as old as you, but when I was very young I was sexually assaulted by a female family member, and I had been carrying those horrible memories and feelings with me for years and years. I would always have flashbacks and painful moments. My life situation changed and I relocated schools, and met a girl that became my best friend. We were the closest friends that ever existed. She helped me cope with what happened to me in my past, and I healed a lot. The emotions associated with the assault were almost gone. It was that way for a few years until she got into a "relationship" with her boyfriend, and she acted like she neverhad time for me. 8 months ago, we got into an argument and cut off our friendship completely. We do not speak to each other at all. I am still in the same environment with her and we even have some classes together, but we do not speak. She hurt me, and I feel like I cannot trust her just because we had a pact that we would never let a man interfere with our friendship to this extent. It's a little painful just to see her.

She called me last month completely out of the blue and left a message saying how good her relationship is with her boyfriend and how much she didn't need me. I didn't take it too hard, but it was just one more thing to bring back memories that we had.

Anyways, I had a lot of pain inside of me. I had the pain of losing a best friend, and the emotions of child abuse were soaring up inside of me. I started to mistrust women because the most important women in my life had hurt me and betrayed me. I didn't know where to turn. So, I found God. It took a lot for me to get to church, because you go in there and you think.... hmmm I feel like I'm the only one with a problem. But then you realize, hey, everyone is in here trying to get their blessing and their healing, why not me?

And today, I am completely happy. After all that I have been through I wasn't sure how long it would be until I was happy again, but I can honestly say, that since I have been going to church, I don't feel lonely anymore, and life feels very... full. When you get in that church, one day that pastor is going to say something to you in his sermon that will hit home. It's like an epiphany. Feels great.

If you feel very lonely, I recommend possibly even getting involved with your church activities. You will be surrounded by good, christian people, that most likely have a good head on their shoulders.

I hope this helps!

 

[Latina17]

oh honey! my thoughs are with you. I can feel the pain because im divorced and it was a not so close friend who told me that my ex is having a baby with the current girlfriend.
i was angry because i could not understand how he have a happy life and i just waiting in line. You need to believe that god has something very special for you and all this pain is to make you stronger. Give yourself time to heal properly so when all this amazing things come your way you are ready to take it and enjoy properly. lost of hugs and kisses.

 

[ThickHair]

Nothing to add, just a big hug from me to you.

I am learning to trust in God myself. It is hard, but I know I have too because he is the only true blue person, who has you best interests at heart.

 

[hopeful]

Your ex did help you to heal some, hold onto that because that is/was a blessing. Perhaps he was only meant to be in your life for a season. Let him go and live his life and you start moving forward. I agree that church will be very healing for you, and perhaps seek counseling. At some point in the near future you are going to have some nice new friends. Hang in there, you are going to be okay.