He introduced me to that BIT*&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sunshinelady]

Go get checked out FAST. You don't know what that dude could have given you.

 

[locabouthair]

Go get checked out FAST. You don't know what that dude could have given you.

Ditto on this.....

 

[MizzBrown]

Don't get mad get even. Post up his pic on DontDateHimGirl.com

 

[carameldiva]

GF, some similar ish happened to me a couple of years ago. He introduced this b#$ch to me as his gay cousin. She was bigger than him in height and weight and looked more masculine than feminine. He lived with her for a few months during our relationship, we stopped having relations and several months later while visiting my peoples in NC. She calls and says that he has something to tell me. This jacka$$ told me that she was not his cousin, that they had sex and he loved her. I cut off our joint cell phones and told him to give me my keys back to my spot. This witch smiled in my face, hung out with me, rode in my car and everything. But in the end, she got hers. She got really insecure and was constantly calling me to see if he was with me when he was cheating with the next girl. She called every female in his phone and beat him up on several occassions. Counted condoms and all that. So you know he was only with her for a couple of months after we broke up. He continued to call me off and on for about a year wanting to get back together but ya'll know I wasn't even trying to hear that. The last time we talked, he cried on the phone saying the he couldn't believe that I didn't even want to see his face again.

Sorry for the long vent but you took me back there with this one.

ETA: I agree, please go get checked out for any and everything. They will get theirs in the end, trust.

 

[WonderfullyMade]

Honestly, I've been where you are before, and I used to be a real hot head. No joke, I've done things as a result that I wish I could take back, even though I wholeheartedly meant it (we're talking property damage, not murder). What I would first say to you is that you should pray, even if it's not your belief, I believe it will help you. Secondly, seek the advice of a trusted, MATURE friend, even a family member, who is not going to spurn you on to do things that you will most assuredly regret in the future. No one is EVER worth you jeopardizing your future or life. I don't think you should have ANY contact with this man until you calm down... Don't even be concerned with the girl, whatever her story is. She has no allegiance to you, nor does she owe you anything. Just call a spade a spade. I wouldn't even call her a ho. HE on the other hand, he has no respect for you, the girl, or himself. Remember that, when he decides (because he will) that he wants to get back together.

If you can wait that long, this is when your revenge will come. The revenge is that you've forgiven him, and you're moving on WITHOUT him! The reason that you should stay away from him for now is because time heals all wounds, and this is a deep one. You need time to reorganize your thoughts and feelings, and you need to heal. For you to turn him down, you HONESTLY have to be over him and over the pain that he's caused you. It can't just be a show you're putting on, because he can see right through that. And he may even relish a little in the pain that he's caused you. If you cannot truly forgive him and move on, then ultimately he's won. He's been able to not only steal your joy, but he may potentially cause you even GREATER hurt in the long run. That's just my 2 cents...

If you REALLY feel like you might hurt one of them, tell a friend and spend the night at her place, you know, like a 24 hour surveillance... It always gets better the next day, even if only a little bit.

 

[Zuhus]

Dayummm!! I'm sorry this happened to you mama. I had started letting my guard down about SO and his female pals but heck!!My guard is back up and running . The ***** had the guts to eat your food

 

[Sly]

IT'S OFFICIALLY ONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!


I HATE MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I cooked her chicken and er'thang...that slut even dranked my kool-aid!!

oh my! lawd, don't cut her.

 

[sharentu]

please ... dont do anything drastic. i know you are beyond upset right now. but remember payback and karma is very real. dont worry about this. dont go out of your way to get even. when you do that that bitterness eats away at you not them. let time and life do what it will. it is so true you reap what you sow. so keep your head held high and live your life. they arent worth the hassle.
eta: yes, please get checked out.

 

[gone_fishing]

Honestly, I've been where you are before, and I used to be a real hot head. No joke, I've done things as a result that I wish I could take back, even though I wholeheartedly meant it (we're talking property damage, not murder). What I would first say to you is that you should pray, even if it's not your belief, I believe it will help you. Secondly, seek the advice of a trusted, MATURE friend, even a family member, who is not going to spurn you on to do things that you will most assuredly regret in the future. No one is EVER worth you jeopardizing your future or life. I don't think you should have ANY contact with this man until you calm down... Don't even be concerned with the girl, whatever her story is. She has no allegiance to you, nor does she owe you anything. Just call a spade a spade. I wouldn't even call her a ho. HE on the other hand, he has no respect for you, the girl, or himself. Remember that, when he decides (because he will) that he wants to get back together.

If you can wait that long, this is when your revenge will come. The revenge is that you've forgiven him, and you're moving on WITHOUT him! The reason that you should stay away from him for now is because time heals all wounds, and this is a deep one. You need time to reorganize your thoughts and feelings, and you need to heal. For you to turn him down, you HONESTLY have to be over him and over the pain that he's caused you. It can't just be a show you're putting on, because he can see right through that. And he may even relish a little in the pain that he's caused you. If you cannot truly forgive him and move on, then ultimately he's won. He's been able to not only steal your joy, but he may potentially cause you even GREATER hurt in the long run. That's just my 2 cents...

If you REALLY feel like you might hurt one of them, tell a friend and spend the night at her place, you know, like a 24 hour surveillance... It always gets better the next day, even if only a little bit.

This is the best advice I've read (not that all the cutting and murdering and car bombing wasn't great).

I don't think I've ever had a guy pass his paramour off as a friend BUT I've definitely been cheated on before and it hurts so bad. There's really nothing any of us can say to make you feel better. I recall that at the time I would talk about it I would feel better but as soon as a I had moment to be by myself, I'd fall into a depressed state for a bit.

It took time to get over it and move on so don't rush yourself. Give yourself time to grieve. You deserve to grieve. But then as soon as you are read, DO move on without him. It IS best to sever all communication at this point. You're angry and emotional and part of you probably still loves/cares or you wouldn't be so hurt.

This isn't a spontaneous one time event where he can claim "it just happened" and he's so sorry. He'd been planning this for a long long time and following through. Bringing her to dinner was a psychological move on his part. He knew anyone he felt comfortable enough to bring around you, would cause you to put your guard down about that person. Although QUITE shadey it was a very common and effective move.

But, when the anger/tears subside, just remember that this too shall pass. It ALWAYS does. You were fine before him and you'll be fine after he's long gone.

I think what is so frustrating when this happens is that we feel we've wasted so much time. We also know all the energy it takes to put into a relationship. The though of having to start a new one eventually is exhausting.

But you will and you can and you'll do better next time.

We settle so often. It's not that I think you should have had ESP but generally speaking women know of a man's character at some point but because we don't want to believe it, we ignore it.

Was there anything in your heart or soul that made you think something was..."off".

I know when my ex husband cheated, I had an intution about it. I actually asked God to reveal to me what I was feeling about that situation and a few days later he did in a very chance way.

Anyway, take care of yourself. Pamper yourself. Don't spend energy trying to pay him back. Don't even bother trying to make him jealous. It's not worth putting ANY energy into him.

Rid yourself of all his personal effects and pictures, etc. for now and block him from contacting you in as much as you can. Do not return calls (he will call) and do not confide your feelings in any of his friends. They will go back and tell him everything and you don't want him to even know he's a second thought.

If you need to chat or something, I'm here. I can give you my IM.

So sorry....hugs.

 

[cocoaluv]

Flawadagator and Adequate are so very right. Dont do anything that will get you in trouble. Vent and take a lot of time to heal. Thats all you can do for now. God, Karma and Life will ALL take care of his ass way better than you or anyone else can. Get tested for everything and cut all ties to him and live a great life.

 

[OrangeMoon]

I got her phone number please tell me what I can do to get this ***** back in some way (PM me if you have any ideas)...I'm already working on a plan to mess up his raggedy ass car! He introduced me to to her as a friend come to find out, THEY BEEN SCREWING THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


She was all sweet and ish...ladies watch out for your man's female friend...9 times out of 10 they be sheisty!!!!!!!!!

IT'S OFFICIALLY ONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!


I HATE MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I cooked her chicken and er'thang...that slut even dranked my kool-aid!!

I'm sorry this happened to you. *hug* I know you have a lot of anger right now especially since you were nice to that tramp. If I was the hot head I was before I would provide you with some super crazy ish. But, I won't do that...I will however tell you don't do anything violent or destroy property that will get you locked up. The best thing you can do it get another man, move on and do better. Aww man you should post his cell number and we can do a mass text telling him "he den messed wit da wrong wun(one)" J/K but I'm pissed for you if and since I've been through it I'll just say MOVE ON it will be hard and it will hurt but in the end you'll be so much better off.

 

[gone_fishing]

I'm sorry this happened to you. *hug* I know you have a lot of anger right now especially since you were nice to that tramp. If I was the hot head I was before I would provide you with some super crazy ish. But, I won't do that...I will however tell you don't do anything violent or destroy property that will get you locked up. The best thing you can do it get another man, move on and do better. Aww man you should post his cell number and we can do a mass text telling him "he den messed wit da wrong wun(one)" J/K but I'm pissed for you if and since I've been through it I'll just say MOVE ON it will be hard and it will hurt but in the end you'll be so much better off.

haha...if she posted his number I'd so call and curse him out. LOL.
It'd be funny if he got 100 phone calls in one day from all her LHCF sorors.

 

[dlewis]

I know you're mad. Relax. You don't want to go to jail and be someone girlfriend for 20 years.

You will get over this and move on, live a better life, that's the best revenge.

 

[honeybadgirl]

just let it go and move on!
thats why i dont even want to meet female "friends, coworkers etc". women are so sneaky or i should say alot of women or maybe even a certain type of woman.
it doesnt matter that shes married or have a bf or whatever. somehow men want to say that to make you feel secure or not suspect but so many people are just shady!
dont let women in your house sitting around you and your man anyway and anymore!!! lesson learned. keep it moving girl!

 

[strawberry-jelly]

That is so messed up. Even though you're angry--just chill. Obviously, she was the chick on the side so he must not have that much like for her. So the best thing you can do to hurt him--is to cut him off INSTANTLY.

 

[caribgirl]

Don't even be concerned with the girl, whatever her story is. She has no allegiance to you, nor does she owe you anything. Just call a spade a spade. I wouldn't even call her a ho. HE on the other hand, he has no respect for you, the girl, or himself. Remember that, when he decides (because he will) that he wants to get back together.

If you can wait that long, this is when your revenge will come. The revenge is that you've forgiven him, and you're moving on WITHOUT him! The reason that you should stay away from him for now is because time heals all wounds, and this is a deep one. You need time to reorganize your thoughts and feelings, and you need to heal. For you to turn him down, you HONESTLY have to be over him and over the pain that he's caused you. It can't just be a show you're putting on, because he can see right through that. And he may even relish a little in the pain that he's caused you. If you cannot truly forgive him and move on, then ultimately he's won. He's been able to not only steal your joy, but he may potentially cause you even GREATER hurt in the long run. .

That was some great advice!!!!! (Not that blowing out his tires wouldn't work either, j/k!!

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this but this experience will only make you stronger! God allows things to happen for many reasons but as time passes you will be thankful that he is out of your life- Hey, he and his "friend" just opened the door for a better man to enter your life! Many blessings, girl!

 

[spelmanlocks]

That is very trifling on his part. Be glad you know what kind of man he is now, so you can now make an informed decision about you alls future or non-future. Please don't allow this man to scar you either. Some women become very bitter after things like this and don't allow themselves to properly heal so that they always carry issues that chase other good men off.

But your story is the reason I'm always telling my fiance I don't like his female friends. It ain't nothing personal, but I've heard to many stories and just believe in general your man's female friends should always be looked at with caution.

 

[itismehmmkay]

It was his place but I made dinner for the three of us. (OH MY HEART HURTS)

I trusted him because I had male friends that I was very close with so I said to myself, why can't he have female friends?? He said she was like a sister to him. Guess I was naive..I need to go back to being cynical...some of the sweetest men out there are just really DOGS! He got some nerve and that penis WASN'T even all that Negro PLEASE!

We broke up about a month ago because...*WAIT FOR IT*, he said he didn't trust me! This fool would always accuse me of cheating...it just came out of the blue--I'm like where is this coming from???

YOU SEE HOW NEGROS BE FLIPPING THE SCRIPT? I got sick of it, I said if you don't trust me then why be with me, what's love without trust? Arguments came, blah, blah, blah...we just called it quits. But he still kept calling me, seeing me...saying how he was just overreacting and he wanted to get back with me....THEN BAM...last night, to make a long story short I found out from TWO people (one of them being his associate that I've been cool with before I met him) that yeah, they had been *****&% while we were together. Two years with that fool, FOR WHAT???!

**** the ***** up and tell him that actually...you had been cheating on him...*******

 

[itismehmmkay]

haha...if she posted his number I'd so call and curse him out. LOL.
It'd be funny if he got 100 phone calls in one day from all her LHCF sorors.

Hell, I would too... Just let me know

 

[trini_rican]

*sigh*...I want to so very bad...

Girlie, success is the sweetest revenge. Treat yourself to a fresh pedi-cure manicure, buy a new outfit and most importantly a new pair of shoes and then get your girls hit the latest club (before going -take a day to cry) that's very important. Then go out with your girlfriends dinner and dancing - then catch you a man girlie! Not a boyfriend just go find "something new" and you'll be fine. Trust, the feeling of getting to know someone new and interesting, being wined and dined by someone else or several someone elses will make you forget the pain. His misfortune will come by default. If you show anger and hurt you're giving him power. I know it hurts but don't give in to allowing them the opportunity to know how bad they've hurt you.

 

[bluediamond0829]

Honey we all feel ur pain...so just get your life back in order since you have found this out...we all have been where you are at and wantin revenge on the man and this other woman. But, go to Church and get the healing you need because you will be the success and on top for these are people that are very low and not on your level. Dont stoop down to there level its not worth it.

Just pray about it and God will see you thru this. Your heart is hurting and aching right now, but once you get this off of your mind and pull yourself back and put focus back on who is #1(you) then everything will be great and your heart will be filled with a overwhelming joy.

Take the time out for healing and when this ex see's you again the joy that u have in your heart will make him feel bad for what he has done to a good person.

 

[PeopleTalkDaily]

Girl..................I am soooooooooo sorry this has happened to you....

But I am a simple chick...His house/my house it don't matter..I made you food, you smiled up in my face and you two were **screwing***

Nah, that grounds for a beat down...
I am not going to sit here and say don't beat the crap out of both of 'em.
Personally, I would of never let either party knew that I knew and we would of had dinner again and they would of had the case of the runs and I would of beat 'em down in his own house..

But whatever you do..Make sure you willin' to pay the price if you get caught.....

****mumblin' to myself this man done lost his muthafreakin' mind****

aww hell nah....I gotta leave this thread....
again, girl I am so sorry...

 

[treybaby2005]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.Men are bold aren't they?Now instead of sneaking around they just introduce you to the whore.That's why I DON'T WANT MY MAN HAVING ANY FEMALE FRIENDS PERIOD!That woman needs a beat down but its not even worth it because now she has him.That should be her karma because he will do it again.
Acutually,I don't know what I would do in your situation.I'm thinking about my man right now and I think I better leave this thread before there is an unexplained attitude from me when he gets home!

 

[Hibiscus30]

Honestly, I've been where you are before, and I used to be a real hot head. No joke, I've done things as a result that I wish I could take back, even though I wholeheartedly meant it (we're talking property damage, not murder). What I would first say to you is that you should pray, even if it's not your belief, I believe it will help you. Secondly, seek the advice of a trusted, MATURE friend, even a family member, who is not going to spurn you on to do things that you will most assuredly regret in the future. No one is EVER worth you jeopardizing your future or life. I don't think you should have ANY contact with this man until you calm down... Don't even be concerned with the girl, whatever her story is. She has no allegiance to you, nor does she owe you anything. Just call a spade a spade. I wouldn't even call her a ho. HE on the other hand, he has no respect for you, the girl, or himself. Remember that, when he decides (because he will) that he wants to get back together.

If you can wait that long, this is when your revenge will come. The revenge is that you've forgiven him, and you're moving on WITHOUT him! The reason that you should stay away from him for now is because time heals all wounds, and this is a deep one. You need time to reorganize your thoughts and feelings, and you need to heal. For you to turn him down, you HONESTLY have to be over him and over the pain that he's caused you. It can't just be a show you're putting on, because he can see right through that. And he may even relish a little in the pain that he's caused you. If you cannot truly forgive him and move on, then ultimately he's won. He's been able to not only steal your joy, but he may potentially cause you even GREATER hurt in the long run. That's just my 2 cents...

If you REALLY feel like you might hurt one of them, tell a friend and spend the night at her place, you know, like a 24 hour surveillance... It always gets better the next day, even if only a little bit.

Girl you had to come in and be the voice of reason...cause umm...I don't even know homeboy and I want to slice and dice, throw something, blow up a car or two, snap a neck or two, anythang...

But for real to the OP continue to pray and surround yourself with strong friends and family...cause I know your pain!!!

 

[Laginappe]

I'm confused. I thought we were supposed to only be mad at them that made the "commitment" to us. The other folks and what they did to us are totally irrelevant.

I mean... that's what I tend to pick up from random posts on similar subjects. Oh well...

Me personally - my reaction would lean towards scorching the earth. In my house? Smiling? Eating food I prepared? While sleeping with my....?

Can't really even put it all into words. Just fade to black...

 

[OrangeMoon]

He must not know...Karma is a mutha :killlurk:

 

[syze6]

Wow! That is so not cool! Girl...don't give them the satisfaction of wasting energy!! Keep it moving and if you need to vent, that's what we are here for. They both are some low life trash to do some sh*T like that! I'm so sick of women destroying each other and men just being plain old doggish. I wouldn't even be in the mix of some crap like that. "Friend? Naw dude...You got it twisted. I'm the one or I'm not. I'm not playing the hoe role and front for your girl."

You don't have to worry about the relationship with them being all roses. It surely won't. Leave life and time to them both because Karma will show up in some form in their lives. Karma doesn't always present itself in the manner we have dealt! I always say that would be too easy!

I am really saddened at how far we as women have fallen. The fact that we can't love each other and stick together is so sad. Men are the culprit, but when will we stop being an accomplice to their dirt.

 

[gymfreak336]

Girl..................I am soooooooooo sorry this has happened to you....

But I am a simple chick...His house/my house it don't matter..I made you food, you smiled up in my face and you two were **screwing***
Nah, that grounds for a beat down...
I am not going to sit here and say don't beat the crap out of both of 'em.
Personally, I would of never let either party knew that I knew and we would of had dinner again and they would of had the case of the runs and I would of beat 'em down in his own house..

But whatever you do..Make sure you willin' to pay the price if you get caught.....

****mumblin' to myself this man done lost his muthafreakin' mind****

aww hell nah....I gotta leave this thread....
again, girl I am so sorry...

Me and you are sooo >>>>>>here<<<<<<

I don't have any other words of advice because I can be bit crazy and you don't want my ideas but remember this......................He old saying how you got him is how you lose him is true and that if this women knowingly lets her self be the mistress in relationships then she has deep self esteem issues that will hurt her more in the long run more than anything you can cook up in your head to do. The fact that he engages in sexual behavior without being honest and up front with the parties concerned ( Like the fact you didn't know he had someone else) exposes him to a higher risk to get a disease and things like that......Now that you know what a snake he is, be glad that you don't have to deal with him.

 

[meia]

friend don't let it get you down- I'VE REALLY BEEN THERE TOO!!!! Just type my name into the search engine and you'll see . Don't feel down at all.... just sit down (and clear your mind), figure out if he's worth it to keep around (if your love for him is strong enough/you can't imagine being without him and if he's SERIOUSLY willing to work on himself through and through) and once you make that decision whether you want him there or not, then you'll be in a better place to deal.

I've gotten so bad that I beat the crap out of him and we were scrapping- i've almost killed the women (they were DEFINITELY afraid of me). My dad even cheated on my mom and I called the tramp he was messing with and threatened her(and if I had a a car I just might've had a few things to say to her)....i'm telling you I'VE BEEN THERE AND BACK WITH MEN IN MY LIFE..... i'm letting you know, up front, you don't want to take it there....being in that angry, angry place can really hurt you more than any pain you can inflict on anyone else...

take some tylenol, and take a nap....wake up more logical (even since this is days after it happened)...mull it around and DAMN WELL don't cry cos he wasn't doing that when he first brought that cheap b!tch in your home. Play at his game like another poster said- bring him to meet your MOST GORGEOUS EX and find other people outside of the relationship to bring him to that same front as you were at.....they can never take it when they get it back (and, if you're like me, you won't EVER cheat...just the illusion of how bad it'll make him feel is enough- sometimes).... I guarantee you that just relaxing yourself or engaging in another activity (whatever it may be) will allow for you to experience some more calmness... don't worry about that B!tch...I never do, because fate will come back like that b!tch and beat her and your man senseless (if it already hasn't) so rest assured. If you're a good woman, you'll get a return on that investment- TRUST...never lose faith.

Always remember, if he's not the right one for you, SIGNS will always make the truth bold as day.....pay attention to them and arrange this relationship around them. Its the easiest way to get through safely. I live by them.

Keep your head up, girl.
You know your LHCF ladies got you covered.

 

[Nicole1976]

The nerve of that girl and him for that matter! Carma will catchup...

If I were you I wouldnt do a thing. I would just cut ties with the both of them...and write it off as a lesson learned.