Katarina Phang's Dating Philosophy

Belle Du Jour said:
Just looked at Katarina's website. Can you elaborate a bit on the leaning back concept?
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Well she advocates not chasing him. No calling or sending pics or reminding him that you still exist. If the man is interested then he will take initiative. She says that men are wired to be pursuers and that even though they may respond to aggressive women, it usually doesn't last. Unless you want a beta male which is different ..

Leaning bavk is also investing your energy within yourself, keep busy, have hobbies, date other men. That way you are not waiting for his call at home by the phone lol. She is a big advocate on self love and healing your wounds and not depending on a man to rescue you. As a result, you become what she calls a high value woman who is easy to lose, meaning that if a man hasn't called in weeks or giving you crumbs, that you will be so turned off because you love yourself too much for those type of treatments. You can decide by then if you want to continue anything with him or not.

Also with leaning back, it lets you know if the guy is genuinely interested in you or he is just entertaining you because you were the aggressor. There's more but that's the jist of it
 
sweetvi said:
Well she advocates not chasing him. No calling or sending pics or reminding him that you still exist. If the man is interested then he will take initiative. She says that men are wired to be pursuers and that even though they may respond to aggressive women, it usually doesn't last. Unless you want a beta male which is different ..

Leaning bavk is also investing your energy within yourself, keep busy, have hobbies, date other men. That way you are not waiting for his call at home by the phone lol. She is a big advocate on self love and healing your wounds and not depending on a man to rescue you. As a result, you become what she calls a high value woman who is easy to lose, meaning that if a man hasn't called in weeks or giving you crumbs, that you will be so turned off because you love yourself too much for those type of treatments. You can decide by then if you want to continue anything with him or not.

Also with leaning back, it lets you know if the guy is genuinely interested in you or he is just entertaining you because you were the aggressor. There's more but that's the jist of it
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Ok that makes sense LOL. Basically creating the space for the guy to come to you. And shifting the energy from why isn't he calling me to he's obviously a fool for not calling me :yep:
 
All4Tris said:
I sent her blog post to 2 friends recently so, just sharing it here too.

http://katarinaphang.com/the-beauty-of-leaning-back-in-a-relationship-real-examples/
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Thank you for sharing. Key points from the article:

10 Ways That You May be Leaning Forward with a Man!
  1. You haven’t heard from him in days, maybe weeks so you decide to send him a text.
  2. You have tickets to an fun event so you decide to invite him to come along.
  3. You go to his social media and like his posts and pics.
  4. You ask when will you see him again
  5. You ask him why hasn’t he called
  6. He mentions getting together over the weekend. It’s lunchtime Friday and you haven’t heard a word, so you text to ask him if you are still on.
  7. He asks you out for a specific night but doesn’t set the time or place. The day of the date you text him and ask him when and where.
  8. You surprise him with lunch or a gift
  9. You offer to do things for him around his house, like laundry, dishes.
  10. You show up where he is at, uninvited
All of the above are leaning forward in a relationship or with a man. They are all signs of you trying to control an outcome. Control doesn’t go over well with men at all. All of the above are anxious behaviors that cause men to pull away.

All of the above are also you operating from your masculine energy. When you are in your masculine energy a man doesn’t feel safe. It’s your feminine energy that causes a man to soften, warm to you and let down his guard.

10 Examples of Leaning Back in a Relationships with a Man!
  1. You never text a man that isn’t texting you.
  2. You have tickets to go to a fun event! Great! You call up your girlfriend and ask her.
  3. He is on social media? You didn’t notice
  4. He hasn’t made plans to see you again? Oh well, you have a rotation going so you will have dates.
  5. He hasn’t called? You barely noticed your life is so full
  6. It’s already Friday and he hasn’t confirmed your plans. Too bad. You made other plans yesterday.
  7. He didn’t set the time or place? You already assumed he wasn’t serious and have another date set up.
  8. You don’t give him gifts, you give yourself gifts, like a day at the spa.
  9. You lean back and allow him to do things for you at his house. Pour your wine, fix you a drink, prepare dinner. You graciously accept and acknowledge his efforts.
  10. You never just show up on a guy. What he is doing is none of your business.
When you lean back in a relationship, dating, or exclusive, you detach from the outcome. If he doesn’t follow through on something, you stop giving him a top spot in your life, you downgrade him. No drama, no anxiety or despair, you just keep it moving.
 
keyawarren said:
I initially disagreed with #10 until I put the shoe on the other foot. Is what you're doing his business?
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I think what he's doing is none of your business when it's a fledgling relationship, which it sounds like most of these points are geared to.. or the point before a relationship where you question yourself all the time... 'is he or isn't he'.

When in a fully formed-exclusive relationship... what he's doing IS kinda my business... as long as he lets me know...
however, if he starts pulling back, it's time to LEAN back, and that could mean the end of exclusivity...
 
LovinLea said:
Love it, love all of it. Life is so much more fun since I started leaning back. Men started doing things I didn't even know they could.

Except for 10. "What he is doing is none of your business"
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I would imagine this type of style would help a lot of men eliminate themselves and allow you to see their intentions more clearly and sooner. Without you checking in and following up, both of you would lose interest pretty quickly if he is inconsistent.
 
I adore Katarina and her lessons. Men are not children. They don't need you to check up on them when they haven't reached out, ask for dates, remind them that you still exist, etc... They're smart. They can figure it out on their own. You're not helping him. I can already hear a lot of women disagreeing with this. Just know that how you got him is how you will keep him. If you did the utmost at the beginning, prepare to do the utmost throughout the ENTIRE relationship.

Some women are so desperate for a man that they're ok with that. Not me! A lot of relationships (dare I say most relationships) out there are crappy and unhealthy. Like Matthew Hussey says: "Stop being jealous of other people's crappy relationships!" A healthy relationship takes time and discernment. How will he have the chance to prove himself if you do everything for him?
 
caribeandiva said:
I adore Katarina and her lessons. Men are not children. They don't need you to check up on them when they haven't reached out, ask for dates, remind them that you still exist, etc... They're smart. They can figure it out on their own. You're not helping him. I can already hear a lot of women disagreeing with this. Just know that how you got him is how you will keep him. If you did the utmost at the beginning, prepare to do the utmost throughout the ENTIRE relationship.

Some women are so desperate for a man that they're ok with that. Not me! A lot of relationships (dare I say most relationships) out there are crappy and unhealthy. Like Matthew Hussey says: "Stop being jealous of other people's crappy relationships!" A healthy relationship takes time and discernment. How will he have the chance to prove himself if you do everything for him?
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Glad you opened up to her
 
I am a Lean Back girl. I don't text first, I don't call. I don't plan dates and I don't follow up to confirm plans, I either agree or disagree to what they suggest. When I first meet men, I tell them I'm booked about two weeks out (usually true and if it's not, it will become true) and I almost never leave a date without hearing "when can I see you again"?
 
This has been my mantra my entire adult life lol. It used to drive my mom crazy because when she tried to set me up with men she'd have me doing the most and I'm like, "I'm not doing that. He wants to take me out for dinner, he needs to ask me." Just last week a man asked for my number after we randomly started a conversation. Cool. I'm not calling him. If he truly wants to get to know me, he'll get to dialing.
 
caribeandiva said:
Just know that how you got him is how you will keep him. If you did the utmost at the beginning, prepare to do the utmost throughout the ENTIRE relationship.

Some women are so desperate for a man that they're ok with that. Not me! A lot of relationships (dare I say most relationships) out there are crappy and unhealthy. Like Matthew Hussey says: "Stop being jealous of other people's crappy relationships!" A healthy relationship takes time and discernment. How will he have the chance to prove himself if you do everything for him?
Click to expand...

Bolded: OMG soooo much this. I hung out with one of my HS BFFs and her SO yesterday and she started off the relationship doing the absolute most for him. He did literally nothing for her and got waaaaayyyy too comfortable. So she started pulling back, nearly 4 years into the relationship. And the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Couldn't. be. me.

Purple: I used to look at her relationship and be kinda jealous because she seemed happy and in love and I wasn't. But I'm seeing first hand the toll that bad relationships can take and I'm not about that life. I'd rather wait and have a healthy relationship. But that takes time.
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
Bolded: OMG soooo much this. I hung out with one of my HS BFFs and her SO yesterday and she started off the relationship doing the absolute most for him. He did literally nothing for her and got waaaaayyyy too comfortable. So she started pulling back, nearly 4 years into the relationship. And the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Couldn't. be. me.

Purple: I used to look at her relationship and be kinda jealous because she seemed happy and in love and I wasn't. But I'm seeing first hand the toll that bad relationships can take and I'm not about that life. I'd rather wait and have a healthy relationship. But that takes time.
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I was reading FB drama about this guy who was mistreating his girlfriend (not sure if she was the babymama). People try to tell him about himself. His response was she pursued him so he didn't owe her respect. He said he was minding his own business and she came to holla at him.
 
Keen said:
I was reading FB drama about this guy who was mistreating his girlfriend (not sure if she was the babymama). People try to tell him about himself. His response was she pursued him so he didn't owe her respect. He said he was minding his own business and she came to holla at him.
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My brother is doing the same thing, cheats left right and center. He said she knows what is because of the way she chased him even though he never has showed any interest.
 
Keen said:
I was reading FB drama about this guy who was mistreating his girlfriend (not sure if she was the babymama). People try to tell him about himself. His response was she pursued him so he didn't owe her respect. He said he was minding his own business and she came to holla at him.
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Wowww

This is the same story of that girl Makevia who was killed. She pursued the hubby.

I had a loser guy tell me that. He told me one time that I went after him ..that stung. I never did thay again
 
It really does work. I really liked someone and showed it then I realized I was doing the most. I bumped my head once, woke up and dipped. A month went by and he never heard from me and he started doing all the calling. By then I was so unbothered. I pick up his calls once in awhile when I feel like it, I return his calls usually a week or so later. I used to be so quick to respond to him, making all the plans and he sat all the way back. Now he's been hounding me to please meet his closest friends from out of town. I took 2 weeks to respond and decide if I wanted to attend a soccer game with them or not. I finally said Yes after keeping him hanging and multiple calls from him and none from me and he is excited. I'm like meh. I really do like him alot but until he starts making any effort, he's getting nada from me. If I meet someone more interesting in the meantime, I'll be going out and enjoying myself. My Ms Goody Two Shoes days are so over. I'm finally over my constant need to be perfect and playing by all the rules. Pick me nonsense, be gone.
 
Has anyone used any of Katarina's programs? If so, which one? Of like to hear more about the material itself
 
Keen said:
I was reading FB drama about this guy who was mistreating his girlfriend (not sure if she was the babymama). People try to tell him about himself. His response was she pursued him so he didn't owe her respect. He said he was minding his own business and she came to holla at him.
Click to expand...
Couldn't. Be. Me.

LovinLea said:
My brother is doing the same thing, cheats left right and center. He said she knows what is because of the way she chased him even though he never has showed any interest.
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IMG_4074.PNG
 
Keen said:
I was reading FB drama about this guy who was mistreating his girlfriend (not sure if she was the babymama). People try to tell him about himself. His response was she pursued him so he didn't owe her respect. He said he was minding his own business and she came to holla at him.
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With my friend, her SO pursued her but he went from living with his mother, children on the other side of the country and going from job to job to going to film school, living in an apartment on my friend's dime, and his 2 kids living with him and a quasi step mother to take care of his kids. What has he brought to my friend's life? We're all trying to figure that out.
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
With my friend, her SO pursued her but he went from living with his mother, children on the other side of the country and going from job to job to going to film school, living in an apartment on my friend's dime, and his 2 kids living with him and a quasi step mother to take care of his kids. What has he brought to my friend's life? We're all trying to figure that out.
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She's beeing there through the struggles so when he makes it big, he will be forever indebted to her. Little does she know, he will upgrade.
 
I like Katarina's teachings, and she has a free FB group for those who haven't joined any of her programs. :yep:

However, some of her followers are doing the most to get commitment from low value men. If any woman is going to invest hundreds of dollars into these programs (Katarina's teachings are not cheap!), the man she ends up with better be about something. Some of those guys come off as straight up kangs. :nono:
 
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