BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
I'm not sure which is worse because then you have to wonder what relationships are being modeled at home and what the next generation will look like with these standards.
Is Life This Hard In The Dating Streets?
- Thread starter Farida
- Start date
I'm not sure which is worse because then you have to wonder what relationships are being modeled at home and what the next generation will look like with these standards.
qchelle
Well-Known Member
biznesswmn
Well-Known Member
Mgtow - men going their own way
Tmastt - thoughts men arent supposed to think
I had to ask google
Still sounds like a sponsor to me with all the chipping in. So you cooking, cleaning and paying half on everything. She's doing more than half with all that helping. None of this makes any sense.Yet another pick me meme with poor grammar
Thanks because I don't have facebook
LostInAdream
Well-Known Member
A friend of mine said something along the lines of this. She insists it’s selfish to allow a man to do all of that if you’re able to chip in. She also believes a man who insists on doing everything is controlling and there’s always a price to be paid. I don’t know where this logic came from but it needs to go away.Yet another pick me meme with poor grammar
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Those emoji's tell me this was written by a dude.Yet another pick me meme with poor grammar
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
Yet another pick me meme with poor grammar
I'm in another dating guru group and this WW posted that if he can't add value/improve your life what's the point.
So many women (all races) in the comments, improve your own life....why do you need a man to do stuff for you....if you do that then he owns you....chile
.This 50-50 stuff is so annoying and boring.
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movingforward13
I do what I want...
Kids now a days aren’t growing up in a two parent household, seeing what a woman does, man does. They aren’t seeing a man that provides while the woman stays at home. That is where these ideas are coming from.
caribeandiva
Human being
Same
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Women just need to be self sufficient and always be able to take care of self and your children. You make decisions on what you can handle on your own. Times have changed.
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
Yet another pick me meme with poor grammar
Uggghhhhhh.
Serious question...if these are the types of relationships women want to have, what can anyone do about it? I'm not a feminist anymore beyond the fundamentals but at this point, shouldn't we just let the pickmes/feminists/independent women fend for themselves? It's so common now that I don't think the traditional mindset is gonna win this war.
Obviously those of us who are traditional are raising our own kids that way but you can't raise other folks' kids and you definitely can't change grown folks' minds.
What's the end game?
LostInAdream
Well-Known Member
Be able to yes. I won’t do it as long as there’s a man whose job is to do so for his family.
SurferBabe
Well-Known Member
I'm in another dating guru group and this WW posted that if he can't add value/improve your life what's the point.
So many women (all races) in the comments, improve your own life....why do you need a man to do stuff for you....if you do that then he owns you....chile
This 50-50 stuff is so annoying and boring.
I think I know which group you're talking about. That group is full of pick me's which is why so many of them struggle. I can't front, I was terrible in relationships until I found that group (mainly just the creator), but most of the ladies there are completely lost and resistant to any advice. They take the concept of "soft boundaries" and turn it into "no boundaries". It has opened my eyes to how much "others" struggle in dating-- even the attractive, successful ones. Confidence and self-worth go a long way.
SurferBabe
Well-Known Member
Surprisingly, I'm coming across more of these types who grew up in traditional families. For whatever reason, they are the main ones rejecting traditional gender roles.
RoundEyedGirl504
Well-Known Member
The looser social mores and norms become, the easier it is for generally men to convince women to loosen their standards. And women in their infinite wisdom start recruiting other women to jump on the low expectations train. Before you know it's anarchy.
I know what group ya'll are talking about above and I removed myself. Too many people posting screenshots of text conversations with men who are clearly not interested LOL! Everybody has an EUM that they've been dealing with for months, years etc and are still asking "so what does this meaaannnn???"
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I used to think that way, but I’m learning people do what they want to do and you can’t control people, so you always have to look out for your best interests and the interest of your children. Spouses get sick, die, leave, cheat, start acting up, get downsized, etc.. life happens. I’m not talking about paying half of bills, or work, but always be ready to be ready.
I know for me, I will always work and have my own money, my own everything. I’m not splitting, sharing, adding folks names to anything.
Sosa
Well-Known Member
My brother. We grew up in a traditional home and I had to set him straight the other day over some comment he made about our lil cousin’s SAHM wife. He re-saw the light.
All this ‘women bringing $tuff to the table’ talk is becoming so prevalent, even men who know better are unwittingly starting to drink the koolaid.
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
No clue, but it seems like both sides want to convince the other they're right. We call them Super independents and Pick Mes. They call us Unrealistic or some other unpleasant names that I'm just not aware of. And that would be fine if that were the end of it...except....
All of us, single ones anyway, are dating in the same/similar pools. Men talk to other men and take their cues from other men. Men at the end of the day want the easiest rode for them may be convinced to see the benefits of being with a pick me, especially if they see how easy it is for the guys who actively look for those types. So women who want traditional relationships find an even more difficult path to find one guy who isnt pressed to know what you make and bring to the table in terms of money....a man who's bitter that hes spending money when he has bills and responsibilities too.
Meh. I dont have any answers, but I see where its headed......they are
the game up for us. 
Their road and plan to bring more men over to their way is harder on everyone. Lol. Our path is the path of choice.
Go choose a hard life of 50+% of the bills and still 90% of the in home responsibilities if you want Sis. ETA:
I didn't see this before I posted, but this is exactly what's going on...even with men raised in traditional homes.
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intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
hahhaha. Yep.
The one about the guy doing 24 years in prison was so crazy. Why share it. Why does he matter. I was shocked that a few of the women (one of which was black) said....maybe hes innocent. smh.
So many EuMs. The one lady whose bf she just moved in with brought another woman over for sex like 5 times and the last time she slept in her car.
It just reminds me that people definitely have it much worse than I thought.
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hahhaha. Yep.
The one about the guy doing 24 years in prison was so crazy. Why share it. Why does he matter. I was shocked that a few of the women (one of which was black) said....maybe hes innocent. smh.
So many EuMs. The one lady whose bf she just moved in with brought another woman over for sex like 5 times and the last time she slept in her car.
It just reminds me that people definitely have it much worse than I thought.
Say what now?
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
"Emotionally Unavailable Men" ignore the s. Lol.
dicapr
Well-Known Member
Traditional roles can be modeled in a way that can turn women off from that model.
I grew up in a traditional 2 parent household and I’d never want a relationship like the one that was modeled for me. My dad went to work, his rule was absolute, and my mom did all the cooking, cleaning, child rearing, and worked part time. My dad also required everyone in the house to cater to his needs and whims (because the man is in charge). I still don’t want a “traditional” relationship because there is a price to it and men who think that way (from the ones I know) feel entitled to a woman’s energy, care, and obedience. They dont see it as a gift but their duty.
However I don’t subscribe to the idea that 50/50 paying for dates is a given. A man should be able to provide and he should be showing that. However once a relationship/marriage is established I would want to contribute for no other reason to avoid the dynamic of the gender roles modeled to me growing up.
SurferBabe
Well-Known Member
hahhaha. Yep.
The one about the guy doing 24 years in prison was so crazy. Why share it. Why does he matter. I was shocked that a few of the women (one of which was black) said....maybe hes innocent. smh.
So many EuMs. The one lady whose bf she just moved in with brought another woman over for sex like 5 times and the last time she slept in her car.
It just reminds me that people definitely have it much worse than I thought.
Whew. I remember that one. The group wasn't always so ridiculous. When the creator of the group started running FB ads and adding a bunch of new members, the quality declined. The group is no longer useful to me. Most of the members don't want to hear your success story if you moved on from an EUM and found love with an emotionally available man. They don't want to find new men-- they want their toxic ex to fall in love with them. I can't imagine spending thousands on products just to stick with a broke, bum dude who doesn't want you.
Covagirlm
CGB
These kids parents didn't grow up in a two parent household either.
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
Can you expound on the fundamentals? I am leaning this way but primarily because I don't think feminism was made with black women in mind (aka Bell hooks ideas are starting to sink in). I'm just curious to the fundamentals that lead you away from feminism from your point of view.
I know that I have some beliefs that are on track with theirs but many that are in direct opposition. Though it is often said that women have the freedom to do what they want, there seems to be a set rule of "what" that entails and it seems to entail this tit for tat thing that we're talking about in this thread versus a man improving upon your life. I think that women add value to a man in many ways and there's nothing wrong with a man adding value too. And we don't have to add things up: Me plus you, I do this you do that, for things to be equal. He should of course value my mind and view me as an equal, but I am not down with keeping some scoreboard and making sure to keep up. I think that women add to marriage just by our sheer existence hence the reason men live longer. Most women of worth will add to a marriage period, so there's no need to tap dance and be super woman just to prove we have a "place" in the relationship.
And when you mention a traditional mindset, I thought the point of feminism was to have choices, but yet it almost shames a traditional mindset , if a woman wants that dynamic. Curious to your thoughts.
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
Regarding your first paragraph, Well said. I could not express it better. I am in 1000 percent agreement.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Women should be dating for data. (Not my words, but it makes perfect sense) That way, it won’t be so hard anymore. You should only date for research purposes to see if the man is worth your time and energy, especially if you are marriage minded. And stop being exclusive with someone who isn’t your husband, and until there is a ring in place. But let’s be honest, when sex gets thrown into the equation, all bets are off, since most have boyfriends to feel more comfortable about having sex outside of marriage and not be in competition with other women.
Women need to be honest with themselves about why they are really out here in these dating streets.
And I would be very careful listening to a woman who feels as though sex is just sex. She may have too much testosterone flowing through her body, she is operating from an unconscious state, she has been through sexual trauma, she may have a personality disorder, etc..
Women need to be honest with themselves about why they are really out here in these dating streets.
And I would be very careful listening to a woman who feels as though sex is just sex. She may have too much testosterone flowing through her body, she is operating from an unconscious state, she has been through sexual trauma, she may have a personality disorder, etc..
