Hes not in his childs life....

[MzLady78]

That doesn't sound like a sperm donor to me.

Not at all.

He's full of ish.

 

[Evolving78]

he sounds like a sperm donor. wonder why he just won't sign his rights away?

oh ok, i get it now, yeah he is a deadbeat and the mother made it real easy for him.

 

[Lucie]

I feel he is a loser. And a BIG one.

 

[LunadeMiel]

Your friend ain't ****.

 

[deltagyrl]

Ugh.
These scenarios piss me off.
He's an arsehole of the HIGHEST order.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

People are going overboard. It's not like the child is a ward of the state. This is far from a deadbeat situation.

 

[moda]

People are going overboard. It's not like the child is a ward of the state. This is far from a deadbeat situation.

So now there should only be concern for children who are wards of the state? He signs a birth certificate and gives the child his last name but claims to be a sperm donor. I call bs. This is the epitome of a deadbeat.

 

[Lenee925]

He makes me dry up period. If he wanted to he would find a way to see his other half. He desires not so he doesn't. I don't respect males that are foul. That would be the end of our chatting.

This. I had a coffee date with a guy and let him talk as I normally do, eventually he tells me only sees his daughter once a year because his "ex took the kids out of state". Boy, you better cross into hell to see your babies. I never called him again

 

[BrownieBrie]

He's probably lying. He's sounds like a deadbeat with a cushy situation.

 

[DarkJoy]

Any man who is "ok" with not seeing or doing for his child is not a real man and I have no use for him.

Also, a real man would NEVER be alright with another man doing for his kid what he should be doing.

So this guy i know told me his daughter's birthday is coming up. i asked him if he was going to her bday party and he said no because hes not in her life and he doesnt even want to pretend that he is.

I asked him what he meant by that and he said he doesnt see her and hes ok with that. he said his babys mother doesnt want or need anything from him and if she ever did he would be there for the baby and take care of his responsibility but shes never even asked him for money for diapers or anything like that. He says she makes way more money than he does and that she just wanted a baby and he was basically just a sperm donor. he only knew the woman for like 3 months before the baby was made and they were never in a relationship.

He says his babys mother is with a man who is taking care of her and the baby. My other friend told him he was a horrible person for not being in his child's life and hes a deadbeat dad. His response was if things are going fine then he may as well "leave well enough alone".

How do yall feel about this situation?

The bolded = he has completely fobbed off responsibility and made it all about the BM. He's left the emotional aspect of what the child needs out of the equation. He's not thinking that in 5, 10, 15 years that child will be wondering wtf is wrong with HER for her REAL daddy abandoning her. Monetary care is just that. But she NEEDS her father.

No other man the mother puts in the childs life will replace her desire to understand and know the man that made her.

He is an utter and complete scum bag. I wouldn't be able to look him in the face ever again.

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

I'll just take his word for it until proven otherwise. Basically he said he was a sperm donor so that is what he is. There are plenty of sperm donors at the sperm bank that are okay with this type of arrangement, too. At least he knows where his donation went for the sake of the future offspring.

 

[classoohfive]

I'll just take his word for it until proven otherwise. Basically he said he was a sperm donor so that is what he is. There are plenty of sperm donors at the sperm bank that are okay with this type of arrangement, too. At least he knows where his donation went for the sake of the future offspring.

But those type of donors don't put their name on the birth certificate, usually there's no keeping in touch with the child or mother, they don't say they have a daughter/son, and they don't talk about "responsibility" if the mother ever needs anything as they do not have any responsibility. Even if they want to know where the donation goes and about the offspring, they're legally not the father and aren't on the BC.

Sounds like he got someone he only knew for a short time pregnant and he's happy someone else showed up to take care of his end. I think he's a sperm donor in the sense that that's all he did, but I'm side-eying the implication that this was their arrangement in the first place or his butt would have signed away his rights or at least not signed the BC.

I think there's a difference between people agreeing beforehand to a donor situation (and not going the correct route is stupid, and signing the BC doesn't make sense) and another where one party doesn't want to take responsibility and the person with the child says "F it".

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

His arrangement is better in my opinion if he indeed made an agreement to simply father her child. He will talk about this child because his donation was not the usual way. If I had to get a sperm donor I would do it the way he did it rather than at a bank. If I was a man I would probably prefer this way too (I think--oh but he probably did not get paid).

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

He made it seem like a sperm donor type of situation because he said when he found out she was pregnant she said she doesnt want anything from him and all she wants was a "pretty baby". he barely even knew the woman apparently and they just met every once in a while through mutual friends.

he doesnt seem upset about the situation. he kind of feels like its best this way since him and the mother never had any type of relationship. He said every once in a while she will send him pictures but thats about it. and shes definitely is his daughter. his name is on the birth certificate and she has his last name. and she looks just like him. and we arent dating. we work together thats all.

I missed this post.

Men...

ETA: maybe him talking about it is his way of saying he wants to be more involved but doesn't know how to gain a relationship with his child by a woman he barely knows.

 

[DarkJoy]

^^^Well then not only is he a scum bag, but he's a weak azs punk to be afraid of a woman he laid with. Very easy to get a lawyer (he obviously has a job to help fund) and obtain proper& legal visitation and start paying child support.

 

[VAIS4LUVAZ]

Children always need be it financial support, your time or both. I bet BM would give a different account of this situation.

 

[daydreem2876]

I feel he is a loser. And a BIG one.

The bottom line is he's a loser either way. He knocked some pretty random chick up and either is a deadbeat about it or just plain stupid for telling a coworker about such a personal arrangement..... dude can kick rocks -___-

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I'd need to see that in writing ... like a legal documentation. Cause I wouldn't believe him. Even after that, I would have a hard time entertaining any sort of relationship with him.