Is dating a white man a "step up"?

[CatSuga]

In the south, when a white women marries/dates/procreates with a black man, the black and white community views it as a step down.
I've seen this type of behavior at work. We had a young white girl who started working her. All of the white folk commented on how pretty she was and blah blah blah. After she showed everyone pictures of her children, the white folk started acting funny. Instead of "awwww your kids are so cute" they frowned at her in disgust after realizing that her kids are 1/2 black.

Yet, let me be out with a white man. Other YTs will walk up and give him a high five.......WTF???? Everyone assumes that this white man must be
*rich
*cool with black folks
*has a big penis
My entire family is like this. Once they find out my BF is white the first thing that comes out of their mouths is "dem white boy spend that money".

This disturbes me some. When me and my white males friends are out and they see a black man & white woman together they always have something negative to say. When I mention that they are out with a woman of a different race (me) the shake it off saying that I'm O.K. to be with (even suggesting that I make them look cool, what BS).

How are these relationships viewed in your neck of the woods.

 

[webby]

I think it depends on the social-setting.

Poor whites, trashy whites, rednecks and RURAL whites, tend to get heated when they see blacks with whites.

On the other hand, there are some whites who would ordinarily show a brother/sister no time, until they found out that the SO is white. All of a sudden, the brother/sister is worthy to converse with....

 

[lovechic]

In my neck of the woods, it's really not that bad. I have a few friends that are married to white men and they don't seem to have any issues with others about it. But everybody's different huh. I say do your thang and don't pay any attention to negative remarks for others!

 

[esoterica]

I think any man can be seen as a step up, all depends on who he's being compared to. I do think there has to be some tangible criteria, and skin color doesn't fit the bill. If a new guy is more financially successful than previous boyfriends for example, some may see that as a step up, but being white doesnt stop the guy being a bum. last time i checked there were lots of broke white people all over the place so i'm not too sure about that "rich white man" theory either.

 

[webby]

I think any man can be seen as a step up, all depends on who he's being compared to. I do think there has to be some tangible criteria, and skin color doesn't fit the bill. If a new guy is more financially successful than previous boyfriends for example, some may see that as a step up, but being white doesnt stop the guy being a bum. last time i checked there were lots of broke white people all over the place so i'm not too sure about that "rich white man" theory either.

Girl, you're not lying...any man is a step up when keep digging for diamonds and keep coming up with coal.

 

[Shatani]

is it possible that WE are a step up for the white man? i do believe so!

 

[esoterica]

is it possible that WE are a step up for the white man? i do believe so!

Damn right... as far as i'm concerned, i'm a step up for ANY man not the other way around! he needs to count every last one of his lucky stars... though, i'm single right now so this star counting is strictly hypothetical.

 

[lovechic]

is it possible that WE are a step up for the white man? i do believe so!

That's right, We ARE Queens, ya know ! (well some of us are anyway.)

 

[Stylepink]

In my social circle, its no big thing. I thank God that my husband and I haven't had to deal with ignorance like that. But unfortunately, it happens.

 

[BronzedGoddess]

the rednecks around here seem to have a problem with it. I've lived in 6 states since I've been married. Kansas, Texas, Florida, Maryland, South Carolina and Virginia and the Virginians seem to have the biggest problem with it. Must be the whole heart of the confederacy thing. But in general I think most people see it as a man is a man.

 

[lthomas1]

Damn skippy!!! I am a step up for any white, black, asian, etc man. They should thank God every day if they are with me!!!!!

 

[Country gal]

It's funny, I have people tell me I would have better luck getting married to a white man versus a black man.

 

[firecracker]

Helz no!! I have dated outside my race several times over the years. The others have to have more than the brothers in order to date me. My experieces were all positive due to the age range of the men I dated. I was dating Richard (1988) and Phil (1999) for extra income, travel and entertainment. (Hell Rich has a child by Tookie Smith that used to be on 227). Both men only prefer black women after years of allowing society to dictate who they should love. I know I would never marry outside of my race though. Let me rephrase that I would not marry a white person, but I would marry another minority.

 

[Blossssom]

It's very disturbing...

I remember a similar situation at a previous job.

A white woman began working there and all the white people were "cool with her". Her husband came to pick her up from work one day (he was black), and the next day the whites barely said a word to her.

This "stepping up" nonsense is just another manifestation of the total and complete brainwashing of the "people of color".

Asians consider it a "step up" if one of their own marry a white person. Of course, for them, it's not enough to marry any old white person. It has to be a cultured, successful white person. This especially applies for Asian women to marry a white man with money.

A lot of black people who embrace "stepping up" are just HAPPY if one of them marry anybody white. Just be white!

However, as we move deeper into the 21st century, the criteria for "stepping up" has changed. In about 50 years, marrying a white person will be considered "stepping down", since they won't be running this country!

If you want to "step up", you better step to a person of Latin/Hispanic descent. I may be wrong, but it would appear the white man's reign of terror is heading toward an abrupt HALT!

I see a lot of white women in my almost lilly-white surburbia "hooking up" with Mexicans, and these white women are not the reject white women who couldn't get an upscale white man, either. Even white women see that there is a slow "changing of of the guard" in America.

 

[Blossssom]

That's right, We ARE Queens, ya know ! (well some of us are anyway.)

I know who ain't a queen. Trina, Lil Kim and Fantasia! LOL!

We have a lot of queens here, though. I won't name any of them, less I make the mistake of missing one or two

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I think it depends on the man you choose to date. My husband (who is white) wasn't much to look at in the eyes of my co-workers. He wasn't rich, didn' t have the "looks" that some guys in the so could get it post. What got me was the heart in the man. He wasn't rich, but did what he could for others and is known as a person who cares. He won me over with this and my family too. My theory is when a black woman finds the right man, it is a step up. Don't care about the media, what others say... if we left it to them to decide who we date, we'd all be a bunch of unhappy women! His grandparents were unhappy- old school italians, but he said I'm marrying you, not them. If they don't like it, too bad..... Gotta love a man that loves you back and let's no one stand in the way of your happiness. Go for it, sistsa. Especially if he is THE one!

 

[Blossssom]

the rednecks around here seem to have a problem with it. I've lived in 6 states since I've been married. Kansas, Texas, Florida, Maryland, South Carolina and Virginia and the Virginians seem to have the biggest problem with it. Must be the whole heart of the confederacy thing. But in general I think most people see it as a man is a man.

I think a lot of white people have a problem with it, be it rednecks (Billy Bob Thornton), trailer trash (Tonya Harding), or the CEO of Intel, or the king and queen of suburbia (Tom and Sue Harris).

The difference with "Tom and Sue" and the CEO of Intel is they are too intelligent to ever let on that they don't approve of race-mixing. Heck! A lot of black people don't either. I'm one of 'em, but like Tom and Sue, I don't begrudge anyone the right to date and marry who they choose. This is still America.

So it's not just white people who may not like interracial marriages, but a lot of people of color don't like it, either, but it's not our business. And the rednecks and white trash; and the 'black power' groups need to just lay off!

 

[Blossssom]

Helz no!! I have dated outside my race several times over the years. The others have to have more than the brothers in order to date me. My experieces were all positive due to the age range of the men I dated. I was dating Richard (1988) and Phil (1999) for extra income, travel and entertainment. (Hell Rich has a child by Tookie Smith that used to be on 227). Both men only prefer black women after years of allowing society to dictate who they should love. I know I would never marry outside of my race though. Let me rephrase that I would not marry a white person, but I would marry another minority.

This is a totally accurate statement and I can relate to it wholeheartedly.

I dated all races for a very long time, in particularly white because it seemed that they approached me all day and all night.

However, as I've gotten older, I realize that I am more content to be with someone who I can identify with in every way, and that includes physically.

I'm with you, Latia. If I can't marry a black man (or a Latino if the right one comes along), I'm definitely not marrying a white person. Whites are fine to socialize with and work with, but when I wake up in the morning, I want to see eyes, hair and skin that looks like mine.

 

[katie]

I'm with you, Latia. If I can't marry a black man (or a Latino if the right one comes along), I'm definitely not marrying a white person. Whites are fine to socialize with and work with, but when I wake up in the morning, I want to see eyes, hair and skin that looks like mine.

But Latinos don't look like black people though.

 

[firecracker]

But Latinos don't look like black people though.

Heck in Cali and lots of other places there are Latino's that look black, have a wide color spectrum like us, same values, similar issues & experieces, coily wild hair, have black features amongs so many other similarities. I know will not marry a white person because they have the luxury of just being in the US, while everyone else has to be a chameleon once they step outside their homes. I just don't feel at the end of the day that a white male could satisify my spiritual or emotional needs after a f'd up day in the rat race/crazy world we live in. Don't get me wrong I have white cousins, aunts and uncles from marriage and my grandfather was biracial. We live in a black and white world period, seems like their is no comfy in between here. That's just my 2 cents.

 

[*Happily Me*]

Re: Is dating a white man a "step up"? Nope. IMO, there's nothing like a brother. I've dated plenty of non-blacks but I just prefer brothers

 

[UmSumayyah]

the rednecks around here seem to have a problem with it. I've lived in 6 states since I've been married. Kansas, Texas, Florida, Maryland, South Carolina and Virginia and the Virginians seem to have the biggest problem with it. Must be the whole heart of the confederacy thing. But in general I think most people see it as a man is a man.

Move an hour or so to the north and your experience may be different.

 

[honeycomb719]

Its a step up for them to date me, but not the other way round.....

 

[senimoni]

Dating any man would be a step up for me right about now...LOL.

 

[Ayeshia]

Doesnt matter...a man is a man.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Its a step up for them to date me, but not the other way round.....

Ha!

That's exactly how I feel. I view no man, regardless of race, as somehow completing me as a woman, or validating me. I feel that any man with me is getting the best damn woman he ever had.

 

[Shayla]

Doesnt matter...a man is a man.

co-signing!!!

 

[godzooki]

It's not the color that makes a man a step up from the next one over but what he makes of the choices given to him in life.

 

[BronzedGoddess]

Move an hour or so to the north and your experience may be different.

Oh I know things are much better near DC, but that's because you have a lot of educated people up there as opposed to some of this inbred filth down here.

 

[Caramela]

Dating a white man can be a step up. read that sentence again... CAN being the operative word.There are too many young black men today afflicted with the lil john syndrome (you know...fiddy 'leven gold teeth in there mouth, can't put an english sentence together, thinking that selling drugs is a career) and more than half of us wouldn't even give them the time of day.
Not to say there aren't some intelligent, educated, hardworking, black men out there, but they are far and few between.