Is dating a man with a girlfriend/SO wrong?

[Jessica Rabbit]

He hasn't LIED to the other woman! He has lied to his alleged girlfriend. She thinks they are committed and he's out dating other women.

Again, if the new woman asks a man "Are you married?", which is what I ask now from the gate, and he says "no", he's not lying to me but if he had the "talk" with his girlfriend and has led her to believe they are monogamous, what does that have to do with the new girl?

It doesn't matter if she knows he lied to her. He is a liar period. So what does that make a person who is knowingly involved with a liar? It has a lot to do with the new girl because she is just as simply to lower herself to be involved/associated with a lying, cheating loser.

Also, she just doesn't know if he lied to her or what about.

 

[thiccknlong]

Let me step back for a second because I realize that not everyone has the same value system. Some women figure that if a man isn’t officially married he is up for grabs. That’s find and dandy but from experience getting involved with a man who has a significant other is asking for drama.

Yes, I agree. And a no good guy in many cases.

If he has a significant other, then why is he in my face ? Cheater maybe?

If for some reason, things are really bad between them. THEN he shouldnt try anything serious with me, no more than chatting. If he tries more, cheater.

If a person guy or girl doesnt like their sig other, they need to kill the union.

 

[Blossssom]

Exactly, Jessica. New girl doesn't know WHAT he and his girlfriend have "agreed" upon. All NG knows is he isn't married.

That's my moral standpoint. No more married men. Done. Over. Never again. I don't care how many black leather jackets "Tim" wears to the office looking like Tom Selleck!

 

[HoneyDew]

I cannot say it is right or wrong because every woman has her own moral compass. But, I don't understand why a woman woulf want to even do that. Why would you want her left overs? If he is so unhappy why doesn't he just leave to be with you or whoever else. I just don't get it.

 

[MuseofTroy]

Yes, I agree. And a no good guy in many cases.

If he has a significant other, then why is he in my face ? Cheater maybe?

If for some reason, things are really bad between them. THEN he shouldnt try anything serious with me, no more than chatting. If he tries more, cheater.

If a person guy or girl doesnt like their sig other, they need to kill the union.

THANK YOU!!! Who wants to deal with a guy who is questionable like that. That's why I don't really have sympathy for women who are crying a river about a man who was never theirs to begin with.

 

[MzLady78]

I cannot say it is right or wrong because every woman has her own moral compass. But, I don't understand why a woman woulf want to even do that. Why would you want her left overs? If he is so unhappy why doesn't he just leave to be with you or whoever else. I just don't get it.

Basically.

It ain't rocket science.

 

[CoCoGirl821]

So would YOU date a guy if you knew he had a woman?

I wouldnt date a taken man...period. However, in the past I have been "friendly" with a guy who had a girlfriend. Would I do it again, maybe not. BUT, if he aint married, he is single. Just dont expect him to turn you into his wifey, cause it aint gonna happen. The way you got him, is most likely the way u gonna lose him.

 

[DragonPearl]

Ofcourse most men are only as faithful as their options....i choose to NOT be an option, but a priority.

the man would not have the opportunity to cheat if the other woman isnt willing to spread them knowing that he has a GF at home. SLOPPY!

so basically men would get tired of yapping their lying mouths to the other woman and go home and sleep with the commited chick. thats all im saying.

That's prett grim because we live in a society where there is and will always be tons of options (hookers and non-hookers) for men to cheat.

Men don't cheat just because an "opportunity" presented itself. That's what they like women to think, so the women can spend time blaming the "opportunity".

Men cheat because they wanna.

I get plenty of "opportunities" but I don't cheat on my husband and when I was single, I didn't cheat on my SO. I didn't wanna.

 

[MuseofTroy]

I wouldnt date a taken man...period. However, in the past I have been "friendly" with a guy who had a girlfriend. Would I do it again, maybe not. BUT, if he aint married, he is single. Just dont expect him to turn you into his wifey, cause it aint gonna happen. The way you got him, is most likely the way u gonna lose him.

What exactly do you mean by "friendly."

 

[candy1214]

Exactly, Jessica. New girl doesn't know WHAT he and his girlfriend have "agreed" upon. All NG knows is he isn't married.

That's my moral standpoint. No more married men. Done. Over. Never again. I don't care how many black leather jackets "Tim" wears to the office looking like Tom Selleck!

step back for a second and re-read the original question the OP posed.

is it okay date a man with a GF?? that means continuously going out with and sleeping with a man knowing that he has a GF.

its general knowledge that dude is a liar and whatever negative term you can conjure up.

but as a woman...is it okay for you to CONTINUE to see a man and KNOW that he has a girl?? can you answer that question for me pretty please w/ a cherry on top?

 

[StrawberryQueen]

I could agree with that if both of the parties in the original relationship have that understanding. We are not married therefore you are free to play. I dont know too many folks in that arrangement so it falls under deception if they are assumed to be monogamous and he later decides he is single and free to play. Its not the fact that he is attached that I have the problem with it, its the fact that he could be breaking their original agreement and in that case he is lying and cant be trusted by her or the new woman.

I think it spells desperation if a woman decides to date a man who is in a relationship with someone already .... and she knows it. For the guy, he's being snaky (unless he has an open relationship).

So why would a gal want to date a snaky guy and share him with the girlfriend - to which she doesn't know the sexual health status of? The other girl will most likely be treated as a secret and only 2nd best next to the SO/girlfriend. Who would want that?

CO-SIGN!

All I have to say is most women who think its fair game to willingly sleep with a man who is involved w/ another are usually alone for a looong time. I havent found too many women IRL who do this that end up being in any kind of serious commited relationship b/c they like b.s. men.

Thinkin ur ass is cute for going with the dude talkin bout he's pursuing me....well you're being pursued by GARBAGE. So in the end, they are doing the GF a favor for being the GARBAGE DISPOSAL.

Excellent observation. Hmmmm :scratchch

I cannot say it is right or wrong because every woman has her own moral compass. But, I don't understand why a woman woulf want to even do that. Why would you want her left overs? If he is so unhappy why doesn't he just leave to be with you or whoever else. I just don't get it.

Because they don't have the self confidence or good sense to find a man who will make them number 1. They think all they can be is the side piece, the middle of the night fcuk, number 2. So that's what they aim for, and guess what-they get it! The mistress/side piece/jumpoff all their lives, and end up 40 and alone w/nothing.

 

[Blossssom]

THANK YOU!!! Who wants to deal with a guy who is questionable like that. That's why I don't really have sympathy for women who are crying a river about a man who was never theirs to begin with.

But isn't it also fair to say that a woman who does know a man has a girlfriend and becomes involved with him won't be exclusive with him?

See, if he's honest about his other women, then she's less apt to be cleave only unto him as well.

It sounds more of a friends with access sort of relationship. That's if she knows.

And even with that, she is still *I would* expect to be taken out and shown a good time as if his other woman didn't exist.

I wouldn't sit around fretting about him spending time with him, because while he's busy with her, I'm busy with somebody else.

I just don't have the emotional stability for an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and I guess that's why I don't respect them if the other parties don't respect it.

Why should I if he doesn't?

 

[CoCoGirl821]

What exactly do you mean by "friendly."

Come on now......LOL

That situation was a little complicated anyway. Not to try and excuse my behavior, but I know for a fact that they were having problems and he did break up with her soon after. But me and him were never tryin to be together...it was one of those kind relationship. As a matter of fact, we are still cool til this day. I know...im a bad girl.

 

[Jessica Rabbit]

But isn't it also fair to say that a woman who does know a man has a girlfriend and becomes involved with him won't be exclusive with him?

See, if he's honest about his other women, then she's less apt to be cleave only unto him as well.

It sounds more of a friends with access sort of relationship. That's if she knows.

And even with that, she is still *I would* expect to be taken out and shown a good time as if his other woman didn't exist.

I wouldn't sit around fretting about him spending time with him, because while he's busy with her, I'm busy with somebody else.

I just don't have the emotional stability for an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and I guess that's why I don't respect them if the other parties don't respect it.

Why should I if he doesn't?

Whether the sideline chick is exclusive or not has nothing to do with making her any less culpable. She is still wrong. And if she is involved with multiple men, especially sexually, that's a whole other can of worms and both the cheating man and the jumpoff are some nasty hot messes.

 

[Blossssom]

I wouldnt date a taken man...period. However, in the past I have been "friendly" with a guy who had a girlfriend. Would I do it again, maybe not. BUT, if he aint married, he is single. Just dont expect him to turn you into his wifey, cause it aint gonna happen. The way you got him, is most likely the way u gonna lose him.

What is "taken" mean? Women don't date themselves. Obviously he's not taken if he's dating you!

Exactly. In my mind, he's either married or he's single. Girlfriends who don't like it, don't look at me... LOOK AT HIM!

Ha! You never know. Plenty of women have had boyfriends who they THOUGHT was "all theirs" and that man took off and married the new woman.

 

[candy1214]

That's prett grim because we live in a society where there is and will always be tons of options (hookers and non-hookers) for men to cheat.

Men don't cheat just because an "opportunity" presented itself. That's what they like women to think, so the women can spend time blaming the "opportunity".

Men cheat because they wanna.

I get plenty of "opportunities" but I don't cheat on my husband and when I was single, I didn't cheat on my SO. I didn't wanna.

I see what you're saying and my answer was just in response to what another poster stated.

I know if a man has ill-intentions he will just go and do what he wants. However, for the purpose of this thread, I think a man would have less opportunity to engage in an affair if the other woman cut him off after finding out that he had a woman. That's all I was trying to say.

 

[Blossssom]

That's prett grim because we live in a society where there is and will always be tons of options (hookers and non-hookers) for men to cheat.

Men don't cheat just because an "opportunity" presented itself. That's what they like women to think, so the women can spend time blaming the "opportunity".

Men cheat because they wanna.
I get plenty of "opportunities" but I don't cheat on my husband and when I was single, I didn't cheat on my SO. I didn't wanna.

Thank you...

 

[Undefeated Queen]

CO-SIGN!

Excellent observation. Hmmmm :scratchch

Because they don't have the self confidence or good sense to find a man who will make them number 1. They think all they can be is the side piece, the middle of the night fcuk, number 2. So that's what they aim for, and guess what-they get it! The mistress/side piece/jumpoff all their lives, and end up 40 and alone w/nothing.

Actually there are women who don't care about being married and having children and have no problem being "alone" at 40. My ex co worker Marge said she never had the desire to get married or have kids. When she wanted some "attention" she went through her phone, made a phone call, got it, and sent him on his merry way.

 

[HoneyDew]

What is "taken" mean? Women don't date themselves. Obviously he's not taken if he's dating you!

Exactly. In my mind, he's either married or he's single. Girlfriends who don't like it, don't look at me... LOOK AT HIM!

Ha! You never know. Plenty of women have had boyfriends who they THOUGHT was "all theirs" and that man took off and married the new woman.

So the relationship that develops before marriage means nothing to you?

 

[shynessqueen]

Actually there are women who don't care about being married and having children and have no problem being "alone" at 40. My ex co worker Marge said she never had the desire to get married or have kids. When she wanted some "attention" she went through her phone, made a phone call, got it, and sent him on his merry way.

I hate to see her when she is old sitting in a nursing home.

 

[Blossssom]

step back for a second and re-read the original question the OP posed.

is it okay date a man with a GF?? that means continuously going out with and sleeping with a man knowing that he has a GF.

its general knowledge that dude is a liar and whatever negative term you can conjure up.

but as a woman...is it okay for you to CONTINUE to see a man and KNOW that he has a girl?? can you answer that question for me pretty please w/ a cherry on top?

The discussion has evolved since then, and I answered the question from the onset so "pretty please" go back and read it.

 

[MuseofTroy]

But isn't it also fair to say that a woman who does know a man has a girlfriend and becomes involved with him won't be exclusive with him?

See, if he's honest about his other women, then she's less apt to be cleave only unto him as well.

It sounds more of a friends with access sort of relationship. That's if she knows.

And even with that, she is still *I would* expect to be taken out and shown a good time as if his other woman didn't exist.

I wouldn't sit around fretting about him spending time with him, because while he's busy with her, I'm busy with somebody else.

I just don't have the emotional stability for an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and I guess that's why I don't respect them if the other parties don't respect it.

Why should I if he doesn't?

There are plenty of single people in the world, so why mess around with someone who is already in a relationship? I suppose the only exception to this rule is if all parties involved are okay with the open relationship deal.

 

[shynessqueen]

So the relationship that develops before marriage means nothing to you?

That's what I was trying to ask.

 

[CoCoGirl821]

What is "taken" mean? Women don't date themselves. Obviously he's not taken if he's dating you!

Exactly. In my mind, he's either married or he's single. Girlfriends who don't like it, don't look at me... LOOK AT HIM!

Ha! You never know. Plenty of women have had boyfriends who they THOUGHT was "all theirs" and that man took off and married the new woman.

By taken I guess I mean someone who is in a relationship. When I decide to actually date someone, I would hope they are single/not in a relationship. Thankfully I have never been in a situation where the guy wasnt completely honest with me about his dating situation. Either you are with someone or you arent. I try not to get involved with someone who has a girlfriend/SO, but I know lots of women who say "not married=single."

 

[Blossssom]

CO-SIGN!

Excellent observation. Hmmmm :scratchch

Because they don't have the self confidence or good sense to find a man who will make them number 1. They think all they can be is the side piece, the middle of the night fcuk, number 2. So that's what they aim for, and guess what-they get it! The mistress/side piece/jumpoff all their lives, and end up 40 and alone w/nothing.

Eeewww... now that's crass, but if that's all she thinks she can get... oh well.

I hope at least she gets a couple of hot meals out of him

 

[Blossssom]

Come on now......LOL

That situation was a little complicated anyway. Not to try and excuse my behavior, but I know for a fact that they were having problems and he did break up with her soon after. But me and him were never tryin to be together...it was one of those kind relationship. As a matter of fact, we are still cool til this day. I know...im a bad girl.

You immoral, man-stealin', hoe-baggin', slut-bangin'... LOL!

Just kidding, Coco

 

[StrawberryQueen]

Actually there are women who don't care about being married and having children and have no problem being "alone" at 40. My ex co worker Marge said she never had the desire to get married or have kids. When she wanted some "attention" she went through her phone, made a phone call, got it, and sent him on his merry way.

nonononono, not like that. I'd be a bad feminist if I said that any woman 40 and above was only single because she couldn't find a man. I was speaking directly in reference to the women who behave in the aforementioned situations and who WANT to be married, but aren't.

 

[Bint Yusef]

So Blossom, do u believe in karma? have u ever gotten caught up in any dramatic situations? I just wonder if dating involved men ever turns out in a positive way, cuz when i think of it or see it almost always ends up as a JERRY JERRY JERRY!!!! situation?

Karma does not mean revenge.

 

[Blossssom]

Whether the sideline chick is exclusive or not has nothing to do with making her any less culpable. She is still wrong. And if she is involved with multiple men, especially sexually, that's a whole other can of worms and both the cheating man and the jumpoff are some nasty hot messes.

I don't know, JR... as I said before, it really depends on the parties involved. Clearly if a man is that into his woman, he wouldn't be stepping over to the other side.

 

[Undefeated Queen]

nonononono, not like that. I'd be a bad feminist if I said that any woman 40 and above was only single because she couldn't find a man. I was speaking directly in reference to the women who behave in the aforementioned situations and who WANT to be married, but aren't.

Oh okay. Gotcha!