Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

[MichelleMyBelle]

I would date a man that had a ex-wife and children. As long as he treated his ex-wife with respect and was active in his children's lives. I thank God for my stepfather!! He had no children and had never been married when he met my mom. She was newly divorced with two little girls. My Stepfather has always treated me and my sister with love, respect, kindness and protection. I have no bad stepfather stories! I am Blessed to have a balanced and wonderful childhood. My biological dad missed out. I later found when I was an adult that my stepfather helped my biological father financially twice. My bio dad has nothing but the upmost respect for him.

 

[LivingDoll]

Re: Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

While I would date a man with kids who had been divorced for a while, I wouldn't date a man with kids who is going through a divorce. I did this once and got really hurt. Once the divorce was final, he was a different person. I guess he had newfound freedom and went buck wild. No thank you, not again.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

Re: Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

My SO has so much baggage that if it were any man other than him I'd of ran away as soon as he told me about it all. But he keeps all of it in such good order. I don't even think of it as baggage. Like everybody else there's drama but nothing excessive.

 

[niknik253]

Re: Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

I would date a man that had a ex-wife and children. As long as he treated his ex-wife with respect and was active in his children's lives. I thank God for my stepfather!! He had no children and had never been married when he met my mom. She was newly divorced with two little girls. My Stepfather has always treated me and my sister with love, respect, kindness and protection. I have no bad stepfather stories! I am Blessed to have a balanced and wonderful childhood. My biological dad missed out. I later found when I was an adult that my stepfather helped my biological father financially twice. My bio dad has nothing but the upmost respect for him.

This is nice to hear and very encouraging! I don't have an ex husband or anything, but I do have two little boys, and just recently at a singles conference at my church, our guest speaker stated that women with two or more children are not very likely to find a husband. Sadly reading these posts he is right.
Luckily my faith doesn't lie in the opinions of others (or what they want for themselves).
Again good to know that all men (and women) don't think of having a past as baggage

 

[Bunny77]

Re: Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

This is nice to hear and very encouraging! I don't have an ex husband or anything, but I do have two little boys, and just recently at a singles conference at my church, our guest speaker stated that women with two or more children are not very likely to find a husband. Sadly reading these posts he is right.
Luckily my faith doesn't lie in the opinions of others (or what they want for themselves).
Again good to know that all men (and women) don't think of having a past as baggage

Okay, you know what?

We need to STOP going to these singles conferences at church because all they do is KEEP black women staying single. Seriously, I'm tired of male so-called experts at these things (and some women too) telling black women why they're probably gonna be single for the rest of their lives and not have husbands and all that... I mean, hello, what ever happened to God "making a way" and granting the desires of one's heart? All these "singles" conferences are doing is putting money in married ministers' pockets!

Now, might it be more difficult for someone with two or more kids to find a husband? Sure. But to say it's "not very likely?" How does HE know?

Sistahs, STAY OUT OF THE SINGLES CONFERENCES FOR REAL!!!

 

[vestaluv1]

Re: Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

Interesting story. Thanks for sharing.

The other thing is, there are other "good men" out there, whatever "good man" means. So if I pass up one who's got all this **** going on, it's not like he's the only dude out there.

I can find an equally "good man," if not a better one, with none of that stuff happening.

And this is exactly how I feel about it!

 

[MichelleMyBelle]

Re: Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

This is nice to hear and very encouraging! I don't have an ex husband or anything, but I do have two little boys, and just recently at a singles conference at my church, our guest speaker stated that women with two or more children are not very likely to find a husband. Sadly reading these posts he is right.
Luckily my faith doesn't lie in the opinions of others (or what they want for themselves).
Again good to know that all men (and women) don't think of having a past as baggage

My mom met my stepfather in graduate school. She had a job that she hated and the both of them went to work at the same business. Their professor gave them great recommendations. My mother said the reason why she dated him because she introduced him to my sister and I and she trusted him around us. She would have never dated him seriously if she didnt trust him around her girls. Oh and she asked him on a date! He was nice to her and she liked him. Mom did not hesitate to ask him out. They got married one year to their first date. They have been married for 30 years.

 

[Ms_Delikate]

Re: Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

I haven't read through all the posts but I just want to say I am an ex-wife and personally I would be leery of dating someone who has not been married. I don't care if you are divorced or widowed, I would just prefer someone who has an insider perspective on marriage. This is MY opinion!!

 

[smwrigh3]

Re: Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

I think everyone has some baggage... I think the art is finding baggage that goes with yours.

 

[Ms Red]

Re: Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

Baggage doesn't just come in the form of an ex-wife or kids.

 

[daydreem2876]

Re: Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

I think I would but the opportunity has never come up in my life. But I think he would need to be divorced for at least a few years, respectful of the ex and have a healthy (child support, visitation, etc...) arrangement with the ex for the care of his children. To me it says a lot about a man when he can behave maturely and responsibly in a difficult situation. I look at that because how he treats her could be how he is going to treat you.

 

[deltagyrl]

Re: Dating a man with Ol' *** Baggage?

Why are children considered "baggage?"

Ex-wives? I dunno. I'd have to know why they divorced. Two sides to every story, y'know?