Ok, I feel like expounding now. I immediately answered yes because I've been thinking lately about how often I've been and continue to be misunderstood, pre-judged, and immediately put in a closed minded persons categorical box based on my beauty, men and women. And for some people in my life, no matter what sides of me show itself, no matter how much I grow and evolve, it's like they really reaaally want to keep me in a box. Like no, she can't possibly be beautiful AND intelligent, beautiful AND ambitious, beautiful AND spiritual, beautiful AND moral, beautiful AND funny..usually I get this resentment at one point or another by a female around me that feels threatened, and yeah they shouldn't matter, but for those I am obligated to be around, it's a little annoying. Thank God for the true friends I have in my life that embrace my inner as well as outer beauty and they got it going on in both areas as well.
I've never felt too beautiful to get a date, that's a crock of sardines! First of all, I'm never looking for a man, they find me, and most times I wished I stayed lost. I'm in a phase right now of wanting to stay lost. Got a lot on my plate. I can't go anywhere without getting attention from some type of man. In my ambitions, I consider myself LUCKY if I can be in an environment that will advance my goals without their being a male figure trying to take my mind off what I'm there for. This can be work, school, a studio, heck, even church! I'm in the process of wanting to find another church home because my married with children Pastor has expressed feelings for me and confused my spirit while in my process of growing my relationship with Christ.
I'm not a vain woman, but I like for my hair to look nice, to dress presentably, even fashionably sometimes, and I can go bare faced and feel good about myself but I also like to play with make-up once in a while. Through this thinking recently I've been thinking of seriously plain jane-ing myself for a little while and getting used to a wardrobe that might find me on 'What Not To Wear'. This could be a phase. At my core I know I'm fortunate and am appreciative of the way God made me. But I go through these 'cursed' feelings once in a while. That's all.