Is Being Beautiful a Curse?

[MissNina]

it's not a curse, but a lot of assumptions are held to what is socially accepted as beauty. but their are assumptions held to everything. I'm not complaining though, I'm just adjusting

For example, this is the first time I've ever publicly admitted I'm "beautiful"/pretty. I've always been worried about being viewed as vain.

Oh wow. . .you know I was just playing about second ago right i promise to God I was just playing lmao I left u a msg

 

[SparkleDoll]

I'm on the fence. If you are breathtakingly beautiful, i would think that others would be falling over themselves to meet you, talk to you, spend time with you...regardless of if you are shy or not.

Exactly, the beautiful women I know have not had any of these problems. I have only come in contact with 2 very beautiful women (most women are average and a few are pretty) and they had everything given to them. Men jumped through hoops for these ladies.

IMO that whole argument about being too beautiful to get a date is crap.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

I think the topic is a good one. I think for those who are not comfortable in their beauty or may feel self conscious as a result, it can feel like a curse.



aawww, thank you Mrs. Bianca You are quite beautiful yourself



I also think some really attractive guys have the same problem. I am talking to one now and he tells me how hard he had it in school and had to fight frequently because other guys gave him such a hard time. He was also very intelligent, an athlete, and gorgeous

I never realized that men had this problem. I always thought the more attractive they were, the more women wanted them and they had plenty of dates. Shows that you can't judge someone on their outward appearance.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Ok, I feel like expounding now. I immediately answered yes because I've been thinking lately about how often I've been and continue to be misunderstood, pre-judged, and immediately put in a closed minded persons categorical box based on my beauty, men and women. And for some people in my life, no matter what sides of me show itself, no matter how much I grow and evolve, it's like they really reaaally want to keep me in a box. Like no, she can't possibly be beautiful AND intelligent, beautiful AND ambitious, beautiful AND spiritual, beautiful AND moral, beautiful AND funny..usually I get this resentment at one point or another by a female around me that feels threatened, and yeah they shouldn't matter, but for those I am obligated to be around, it's a little annoying. Thank God for the true friends I have in my life that embrace my inner as well as outer beauty and they got it going on in both areas as well.

I've never felt too beautiful to get a date, that's a crock of sardines! First of all, I'm never looking for a man, they find me, and most times I wished I stayed lost. I'm in a phase right now of wanting to stay lost. Got a lot on my plate. I can't go anywhere without getting attention from some type of man. In my ambitions, I consider myself LUCKY if I can be in an environment that will advance my goals without their being a male figure trying to take my mind off what I'm there for. This can be work, school, a studio, heck, even church! I'm in the process of wanting to find another church home because my married with children Pastor has expressed feelings for me and confused my spirit while in my process of growing my relationship with Christ.

I'm not a vain woman, but I like for my hair to look nice, to dress presentably, even fashionably sometimes, and I can go bare faced and feel good about myself but I also like to play with make-up once in a while. Through this thinking recently I've been thinking of seriously plain jane-ing myself for a little while and getting used to a wardrobe that might find me on 'What Not To Wear'. This could be a phase. At my core I know I'm fortunate and am appreciative of the way God made me. But I go through these 'cursed' feelings once in a while. That's all.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

Any blessing will be a curse to someone who doesn't know what the hell to do with themselves.
I guess we could say Whitney Houston's beauty and voice are a curse, since they bought her fame and wealth, which she used to obtain drugs, which harmed her.
I would love to be totally gorgeous, because I would make it work for me.

I will say, though that there are some countries in the world where being beautiful gets unwanted attention from men, and can put one in physical danger. I thank God that I don't live in such a country.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

Goodness this has nothing to do with beauty because as someone said for every beautiful woman out there there is a man tired of her arse. To be crying like that on the spot indicates something wrong. Yes I know that people like being around beautiful people to steal some shine. That is normal. It is life and that is the way it is. It is not a curse until you let it be. I have one friend that will put a beautiful woman to shame with her looks and she is got the hate and the assumptions also. One woman actually spat at her on the bus. But she just KIM. Thank G-d she has a great Personality and a good Character because she is still beautiful but now she is a middle aged woman woman. She knows she is still very good looking but the allure of youth is beauty in and of itself. After your youth is gone and the Bloom is off the Rose Now what? You gonna be crying about how beautiful you were and now that you are older you are going to try to hold on to that youth or develop a character with some substance. And get mad because people are not giving you all that attention postitive or negative because you are getting older. Or get a grip Hummm


Thank G-d she went to Law School and got her MBA and raised and equally beautiful well adjusted daughter.

Another lady that I know was another drop dead gorgeous woman in her day. She is in her 40's also and having a REALLY hard time because all she had was her looks and now that she is older and not getting so much play like she used too she is having a hard time dealing with this.

Where do these so called SOOO beautiful women live because okay when I was in Brazil a few years ago ALL I saw was a basically half a country with DROP Dead GorGEous Racially Ambigious women walking around RIO, Sao Paulo, and Bahia. Okay THEY knew that they were fine and Everyone Else knew that they were fine too. No one was tripping about their looks and everyone was having a great time. My Friend Silvao was like Yeah Almaz you can get a SERIOUS case of Whiplash here because one woman is just a beautiful or even more beautiful than the next. When he was here visiting my family last year he was like Almaz the Average American woman is JUST That Average and what people think is beautiful here is just Average in Brazil. The Blacks here are just as beautiful as Brazil but the rest are just Dumpy, Frumpy, Fat, (BMW) Body made wrongs and goofy looking. Okay that is one man's opinion.

Okay when I was in Bahia I was in an area where most of the women were NOT racially Ambigious and Just as or even more beautiful. It is so easy when you are a big fish in a little pond. I wonder if these drop dead gorgeous women here were there I wonder if they would seem so beautiful.

Sometimes people trip over the wierdest things

I see a lot of bmws in this town (los alamos, nm). I'll try to refrain from actually calling anyone a bmw, but I'll damn sure think it.
You're right about non-black Americans, too. I've always noticed that they're not even as good-looking as the Europeans from whom they allegedy decend. traaaaaah-gedy.

 

[Almaz]

That is because they are descended from Peasant Stock. When I went to Great America a few weeks back I had never seen so many Fat sloppy dirty dusty rusty trashy looking BMW white people in my life. New Mexico forget it. They are Indio and Mestizos with the boxy spongebob Squarepants body I see it here with a lot of mexicans in Illinois. NOT attractive in the least bit but I guess it works for them because they always seem to have a man hanging on them with a bunch of kids in tow so there is something for everyone. My Mexican Lebanese girlfriend told me that they called women that are built like that RANCHEROS in Mexico cause they are built for hard work.

I see a lot of bmws in this town (los alamos, nm). I'll try to refrain from actually calling anyone a bmw, but I'll damn sure think it.
You're right about non-black Americans, too. I've always noticed that they're not even as good-looking as the Europeans from whom they allegedy decend. traaaaaah-gedy.

 

[producjunki]

I think beauty can only be a curse if it matters to you what others think of you(to a certain degree). Just like another poster previously said, when you're very attractive, you do get perks at times. Me and my sister are both pretty girls, however she looks exotic (We have Asian in our family from my moms side), so when we go places, men gawk and drool, and women at times hate and stare in jealousy, however she doesn't let it affect her because she has an outgoing persona, she's beautiful and she. Knows it. The same goes for me, I could care less if the next female doesn't want to be my friend, you let haters hate. And Ima end it with this, if beauty was some much of a curse, why is the cosmetics, plastic surgery, and health/fitness industries on top like that? Why do so many women spend so much for the nip/tucks, the AHA creams, the makeup and the extentions? Why do a lot of us women do what we do if beauty is a curse? Just a thought.

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

I don't believe that I am perfect or anything...
but I have like 3 female friends...
I've been jumped several times (and I wasn't a talker)...
People used to pull my long braids all thru grade school...
Just bad experiences... and I really don't think highly of myself but I will say that I used to have a stereotypical light skinned video girl look... Long hair, yellow, good body (from gymnastics)...
Now that I'm old and fat women love me! Whats that all about????

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

That is because they are descended from Peasant Stock. When I went to Great America a few weeks back I had never seen so many Fat sloppy dirty dusty rusty trashy looking BMW white people in my life. New Mexico forget it. They are Indio and Mestizos with the boxy spongebob Squarepants body I see it here with a lot of mexicans in Illinois. NOT attractive in the least bit but I guess it works for them because they always seem to have a man hanging on them with a bunch of kids in tow so there is something for everyone. My Mexican Lebanese girlfriend told me that they called women that are built like that RANCHEROS in Mexico cause they are built for hard work.

I havent laughed so hard in a min.!!!! WHAT THE F!!!!
SHUT UP! SPONGE BOB BODY!!!! My sister and I call it that all the time!!!! LOL... ANd they do have a man that loves them with like 1230489721309438102938 kids... they do that here too... HAHAHAHAHAHA
I sense we have a very similar sense of humor...
RANCHEROS!!!! can't wait to use that LOL

 

[Desert Skye]

I remember hearing a story of a woman who was so beautiful but she couldn't handle the attention. She was so desperate to for it to stop that she shaved her head bald.

 

[Duchesse]

Not a curse, but being attractive I find that sometimes you have to do things to "soften" your aura kinda. For example, for work I rarely wear heels or much makeup. I'm not a competitive person and prefer to be in the background, but I find when looking a certain way, it attracts negative energy from female coworkers.

With men, my friends tell me I need to make myself more approachable. This goes back to my preference for being in the background, I'm often automatically assumed as being stuck-up due to my body language and demeanor.

But as much as people may complain that they are "too pretty" the benefits of being attractive far outweigh any negatives IMO. And being forced to learn to be more outgoing and personable is a positive.

It's nice reading of others experiences/perspectives in thread.

 

[Mariaat40]

The higher you are, the harder your fall. Aging for a very beautiful woman for example is a different bag of beans than for someone who is average or "just" pretty. The transition is not as soft between the attention one used to get and what they get at an older age and for women who's identities are tied into that it can be earth shattering.

This is sooo true. I saw this with my mom and vowed that wouldn't be me. I've made deliberate efforts to focus on my intelligence, my sense of humor, my warmth, ambition, etc. I turn 50 this year. I still get a lot of attention but I'm confident that when that stops I'll still be a whole and complete person.

 

[Mariaat40]

I'm an aging beauty, with an awesome heart, life, spirit, mind,...(gratefully, so)

I can not tell you how powerfully calm it feels to finally stand in my beauty.(No apologies, concessions, discussions)

I love this...the benefits of age and wisdom.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Not a curse, but being attractive I find that sometimes you have to do things to "soften" your aura kinda. For example, for work I rarely wear heels or much makeup. I'm not a competitive person and prefer to be in the background, but I find when looking a certain way, it attracts negative energy from female coworkers.

With men, my friends tell me I need to make myself more approachable. This goes back to my preference for being in the background, I'm often automatically assumed as being stuck-up due to my body language and demeanor.

But as much as people may complain that they are "too pretty" the benefits of being attractive far outweigh any negatives IMO. And being forced to learn to be more outgoing and personable is a positive.

It's nice reading of others experiences/perspectives in thread.

Ever notice that some women at work will of a sudden start to change the way they dress, makeup, hair, etc. to somehow mimic the person they are jealous of; I've seen it happen plus it's happened to me.

 

[jada1111]

Excellent post. I totally agree with this. Except I believe that no matter what, she should wear makeup and frilly clothing if she wants to. She shouldnt downplay her beauty for anyone.

I agree, if the women are that sensitive then she doesn't need them as friends anyway.

Nor does she need a punk man who can't handle the attention she'll receive either.

In all honesty, it's really not that serious. She'll be fine.

An no, beauty is NOT a curse.

Beauty with NO BRAINS is though.

 

[jada1111]

I remember hearing a story of a woman who was so beautiful but she couldn't handle the attention. She was so desperate to for it to stop that she shaved her head bald.

Probably made it worse, because with no hair features were probably more pronounced.

 

[biancaelyse]

This is sooo true. I saw this with my mom and vowed that wouldn't be me. I've made deliberate efforts to focus on my intelligence, my sense of humor, my warmth, ambition, etc. I turn 50 this year. I still get a lot of attention but I'm confident that when that stops I'll still be a whole and complete person.

You look great but more importantly, you sound very grounded!!

 

[jada1111]

LOL, I'm sure unattractive people
say they're "beautiful/pretty".
But viewed as vain?
Not, in my opinion..it just
means you're confident/comfortable with
yourself.

When you're ugly and pronouce that you're beautiful it's to make YOURSELF feel better and no one will say anything.

If you're already beautiful and pronounce it, then you're conceited and need to come off your high horse. The word slut will be added as well.

I've met so many chicks throughout the years that thought they were pretty just because they had nice clothes. They weren't. I could never understand where that mentality came from. You're an ugly chick wearing nice clothes.

Pretty women don't have to do much, except walk out their house with clean skin, hair in a
ponytail and a track suit.

 

[awhyley]

heck, even church! I'm in the process of wanting to find another church home because my married with children Pastor has expressed feelings for me and confused my spirit while in my process of growing my relationship with Christ.

RUN, don't walk from your Pastor!!! He sounds as if he's in need of more spiritual counselling than you do.
Don't even stay there while you're searching for a new place of worship. It's time to go.

Through this thinking recently I've been thinking of seriously plain jane-ing myself for a little while and getting used to a wardrobe that might find me on 'What Not To Wear'.

Don't ever let it get to that point.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

When you're ugly and pronouce that you're beautiful it's to make YOURSELF feel better and no one will say anything.

If you're already beautiful and pronounce it, then you're conceited and need to come off your high horse. The word slut will be added as well.

I've met so many chicks throughout the years that thought they were pretty just because they had nice clothes. They weren't. I could never understand where that mentality came from. You're an ugly chick wearing nice clothes.

Pretty women don't have to do much, except walk out their house with clean skin, hair in a
ponytail and a track suit.

And people that feel this way, need to get off their high-horse and realize that just because someone knows they're pretty and says it, is automatically conceited and thinks they're better. Some women have confidence and don't mean to sound like they are better than anyone else.

 

[jada1111]

And people that feel this way, need to get off their high-horse and realize that just because someone knows they're pretty and says it, is automatically conceited and thinks they're better. Some women have confidence and don't mean to sound like they are better than anyone else.

Most beautiful women don't say that they are. I was just showing the differences in how unattractive people can get away with things versus attractive ones.

If you're a pretty woman then you learn early on you have to make people comfortable around you. Unfortunately, you can't afford to be "shy" or "reserved", because women with self-esteem issues will perceive this the wrong way.

Beauty is not a curse. It probably is in those countries where a woman has no control over her destiny.

 

[awhyley]

If you're a pretty woman then you learn early on you have to make people comfortable around you.

I have a problem with that. If I'm not responsible for your insecurity; why should I be responsible for your comfort level?

Unfortunately, you can't afford to be "shy" or "reserved", because women with self-esteem issues will perceive this the wrong way.

Again, it's not fair that I should have to suffer because I'm not outgoing. Seriously, it's annoying that anyone should have to accomodate someone else due to something that they cannot control (in this case, beauty). Not only is it an inconvenience to the reserved person, it also serves as an enabling mechanism, so that the person on the receiving doesn't have to come to grips with their feelings of inadequacy. Everybody loses.

 

[jada1111]

I have a problem with that. If I'm not responsible for your insecurity; why should I be responsible for your comfort level?



Again, it's not fair that I should have to suffer because I'm not outgoing. Seriously, it's annoying that anyone should have to accomodate someone else due to something that they cannot control (in this case, beauty). Not only is it an inconvenience to the reserved person, it also serves as an enabling mechanism, so that the person on the receiving doesn't have to come to grips with their feelings of inadequacy. Everybody loses.

I agree with your post COMPLETELY, but unfortunately....

 

[Denise11]

Most beautiful women don't say that they are. I was just showing the differences in how unattractive people can get away with things versus attractive ones.

If you're a pretty woman then you learn early on you have to make people comfortable around you. Unfortunately, you can't afford to be "shy" or "reserved", because women with self-esteem issues will perceive this the wrong way.

Beauty is not a curse. It probably is in those countries where a woman has no control over her destiny.

That's just crazy talk! Why do pretty people have to work at anything. Why should they have to make others feel comfortable around them. If someone is uncomfortable around someone because that person looks beautiful, the problem lies with the uncomfortable person. That shows that that person has a self esteem problem, and needs to address it within herself.

As for being shy, anyone can be shy or reserved, why not someone beautiful?

Folks just need to quit.

 

[jada1111]

That's just crazy talk! Why do pretty people have to work at anything. Why should they have to make others feel comfortable around them. If someone is uncomfortable around someone because that person looks beautiful, the problem lies with the uncomfortable person. That shows that that person has a self esteem problem, and needs to address it within herself.

As for being shy, anyone can be shy or reserved, why not someone beautiful?

Folks just need to quit.

Again, I agree completely with your post. TRUST.

 

[Skiggle]

When you're ugly and pronouce that you're beautiful it's to make YOURSELF feel better and no one will say anything.

If you're already beautiful and pronounce it, then you're conceited and need to come off your high horse. The word slut will be added as well.

I've met so many chicks throughout the years that thought they were pretty just because they had nice clothes. They weren't. I could never understand where that mentality came from. You're an ugly chick wearing nice clothes.

Pretty women don't have to do much, except walk out their house with clean skin, hair in a
ponytail and a track suit.

I disagree.
But, what came to mind when you
wrote that is the Christina Aguilera song - Beautiful.

 

[JewelleNY]

I never realized that men had this problem. I always thought the more attractive they were, the more women wanted them and they had plenty of dates. Shows that you can't judge someone on their outward appearance.

Well, he didn't actually have a problem with women but he did have other problems.

 

[jada1111]

I disagree.
But, what came to mind when you
wrote that is the Christina Aguilera song - Beautiful.

That song IS Beautiful.

All I'm saying by my post is that unattractive women can say all day long how beautiful, strong and confident they are without anybody batting an eyelash. Peeps will basically agree with them and go "You go girl!".

But let an attractive person say the same exact thing, then she'll create enemies.

The only way she won't is if she says it around other attractive people like herself.

 

[SparkleDoll]

Ever notice that some women at work will of a sudden start to change the way they dress, makeup, hair, etc. to somehow mimic the person they are jealous of; I've seen it happen plus it's happened to me.

So true and others noticed it before me. Ole girl at my job is a mess and everyday she bites my style more and more, but she hate my guts, go figure.