Interracial relationships
- Thread starter Prettymetty
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Desert Skye
Well-Known Member
I date and married IR. Spanish, black, white, and finally asian. No one ever looked at me when I was out with whoever I was dating. Some dumb comments but they were from people whose opinion didn't matter anyway.
GreenEyedJen
Well-Known Member
Yes. I've dated all racial backgrounds and been in serious relationships with White, Black, and Hispanic men. The guy I'm dating right now is half Polish, half Puerto Rican. I'm not mixed but I look it, so people alternatively think I'm Black/White or Hispanic depending on where I am and the company I'm with. The most comments I've gotten have been from Black guys who boldly yell things like "Ay, Ma! Leave him and get with me!" More disrespect of my SO (at those times) than negativity towards me.
Other than that, my experiences have been varied. I've gone through phases of wanting to date IR, refusing to date IR, and not caring at all. Going through my phases, I've realized that there are jerks of ALL RACES, but, in general, men of other races understand me better. I have a theory about that. I'm very colorful and uninhibited. I also come from a particular background. Education is not an option, you know how to act in public, and you get a good job. Black men that are on my educational/social level are more conservative than I. I have my tongue and nose pierced, and working on my third degree. Most Black men with my career aspirations wear J. Crew and sip Brandy out of the proper snifter. I still shoot Patron. Men of other races aren't judged for letting loose like Black people are, so they are a bit more accepting of my wild side. It's funny because I'm very pro-Black. I've insulted Whites while dating one plenty of times. I'm trying to work on it, because Lord knows I HATE when people think of me as an "exception" to my race.
My Dad doesn't care who I date as long as I'm happy and he's an upstanding citizen. My Mom used to have real issue, until she realized the types of men I attracted by race were like night and day. My Mom's family still doesn't like it. I can't think of one IR relationship on my Mom's side, and my Mom's side of the family is HUGE. I have more than eighty cousins on that side.
Other than that, my experiences have been varied. I've gone through phases of wanting to date IR, refusing to date IR, and not caring at all. Going through my phases, I've realized that there are jerks of ALL RACES, but, in general, men of other races understand me better. I have a theory about that. I'm very colorful and uninhibited. I also come from a particular background. Education is not an option, you know how to act in public, and you get a good job. Black men that are on my educational/social level are more conservative than I. I have my tongue and nose pierced, and working on my third degree. Most Black men with my career aspirations wear J. Crew and sip Brandy out of the proper snifter. I still shoot Patron. Men of other races aren't judged for letting loose like Black people are, so they are a bit more accepting of my wild side. It's funny because I'm very pro-Black. I've insulted Whites while dating one plenty of times. I'm trying to work on it, because Lord knows I HATE when people think of me as an "exception" to my race.
My Dad doesn't care who I date as long as I'm happy and he's an upstanding citizen. My Mom used to have real issue, until she realized the types of men I attracted by race were like night and day. My Mom's family still doesn't like it. I can't think of one IR relationship on my Mom's side, and my Mom's side of the family is HUGE. I have more than eighty cousins on that side.
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kupenda
Well-Known Member
Still dating my farmer. He's so cute.
I feel like the men in my area (work environment) that ive come across are of low quality. Ive been insulted for not club hopping, twerking, smoking, and even for not owning more than one pair of heels! Ive been told that im weird and it "makes sense" that I would be with a white guy because of "how I am". I was so upset I couldn't respond. I just walked away. I need a guy with some sort of motivation. I have no interest in carrying the entire relationship on my shoulders like I have been in the past. I want and deserve new experiences. Not people that judge me for not knowing my way around a liquor store. If the kind of people I come across happen to be of a different race, idc. I deserve to be with people that are comfortable with me, and that I am comfortable with. Period
I feel like the men in my area (work environment) that ive come across are of low quality. Ive been insulted for not club hopping, twerking, smoking, and even for not owning more than one pair of heels! Ive been told that im weird and it "makes sense" that I would be with a white guy because of "how I am". I was so upset I couldn't respond. I just walked away. I need a guy with some sort of motivation. I have no interest in carrying the entire relationship on my shoulders like I have been in the past. I want and deserve new experiences. Not people that judge me for not knowing my way around a liquor store. If the kind of people I come across happen to be of a different race, idc. I deserve to be with people that are comfortable with me, and that I am comfortable with. Period
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
Literally every single black woman I've seen this week has been with a white man or has children that are clearly mixed.
Prettymetty
Natural/4b/medium-coarse
Where do you live?
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
SF Bay Area.
kupenda
Well-Known Member
So...we had the "what do you want out of this relationship" talk. I feel it went well. However, he says he's not ready for a commitment. Dont get me wrong, im not either. But for some reason, it got me thinking. It made me wonder if he truly can see himself committed to me in the future
CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
I'm thinking about visiting San Fran for my birthday.
What do the women look like?
Prettymetty
Natural/4b/medium-coarse
How long have you been dating him? Sometimes it takes guys longer to commit. It took a good 8 months before we got serious. We moved in together after 6 months and by 8 months we were engaged. Had a lot of issues in the first few months though
DarkJoy
Bent. Not Broken.
Like women anywhere else? Dress style is all over the map. Anything goes...
My SO is, although it's natural for him being alpha. Nobody bothers me usually when he's around lol.
My ex was too. In terms of protecting me from people saying things, or anything potentially threatening. It meant a lot because he was a skinny geek ha.
If anyone said anything about me he'd defend me even if they were twice his size. I remember before we met his parents he said if they gave me any trouble he would disown them
Bit dramatic, but he was intense like that. I think most of the time when people get disrespected by a partners family/friends for a long time it's because the man doesn't say Jack squat about it
. I felt like he and my current SO had my back in that way. They wouldn't take anyone being rude, or upsetting me. Strangers, or people they know.
Not sure if that's what you mean by protective though.
My ex was too. In terms of protecting me from people saying things, or anything potentially threatening. It meant a lot because he was a skinny geek ha.
If anyone said anything about me he'd defend me even if they were twice his size. I remember before we met his parents he said if they gave me any trouble he would disown them
Bit dramatic, but he was intense like that. I think most of the time when people get disrespected by a partners family/friends for a long time it's because the man doesn't say Jack squat about it. I felt like he and my current SO had my back in that way. They wouldn't take anyone being rude, or upsetting me. Strangers, or people they know.Not sure if that's what you mean by protective though.
CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
My SO is, although it's natural for him being alpha. Nobody bothers me usually when he's around lol.
My ex was too. In terms of protecting me from people saying things, or anything potentially threatening. It meant a lot because he was a skinny geek ha.
If anyone said anything about me he'd defend me even if they were twice his size. I remember before we met his parents he said if they gave me any trouble he would disown them
Not sure if that's what you mean by protective though.
Yes this is what I meant. Just protective in general. Great answer. Thank you.
MzSwift
Well-Known Member
TopShelf
Yes, on AfroRomance. I've met a lot of nice Hispanic, Asian and White guys. For some weird reason, the guys have all either been firemen or IT guys. I've even had nice conversations with Black men on there.
In my brief experience though, OKCupid also produced lots of interracial interest (I'm in the DMV area too). That's where I met my current "friend."
what percentage of replies from OKCupid are IR and what races?
DarkJoy
Bent. Not Broken.
Can I answer?
For me it's like 99% non black response. Of those, 90% are white. The rest Latino. Asian and black obviously is negligible.
Briabiggles
Well-Known Member
I had very few black men message me. The few that did were like..."Yo, Ma! How u doin', beautiful?" Really dud? I had other races say stupid things too though. Most of the guys that messaged me were white, maybe a couple latino and indian, no asian.
CurlyMoo
Well-Known Member
Would you say the majority of these messages you get are serious or looking for some butt?
MzSwift
Well-Known Member
abcd09
For me, it was the almost the same and I'm in the DMV area - maybe 80% non-Black. About 95% of those were White with a few Asian and Latino guys sprinkled in.
I didn't put anything in my profile about prefering a certain race. However, I did state something about being interested in any ethnicity and that I have dated outside of my race.
Briabiggles
Well-Known Member
I made it very clear in my profile that I wasn't messing around and not to message me with shenanigans. It worked. I didn't get any messages that just wanted a booty call. I only went out with 3 guys. The third one stuck and we've been together over a year.
Sent from my iPad mini mini.
DarkJoy
Bent. Not Broken.
My profile was serious. So generally, I only attract the serious type. Obviously there's always a few randoms. Percentage wise, id say a good 25ish% were checking only for cooch.
I never say race prefs in the profile either since I don't have any besides not into Asians, which I never mention either
MzSwift
Well-Known Member
CurlyMoo
I always assume that men are looking for some booty.
To me, it's par for the course.About 3/4 messages I received were guys who appeared to be serious. They talked about something in my profile or a question I answered. Most of them didn't pan out, though, and that's cool.
I had no bathing suit or cleavage photos (which is hard cause I've got DDDs). I also steered away from answering the sexual questions. I think I only answered a few of them.
Between that and listing my education and career, I think that's how I was able to escape a lot of the perverts.
But, to be honest, I want my man to be a freak.
kupenda
Well-Known Member
Btw...I broke up with the farmer guy I was dating. He was too back and forth for me. I didnt feel secure in our relationship. And he started becoming really petty over money. So I ended things at the end of June/early July. He agreed. But his ability to stop talking to me so abruptly was disappointing. Ah well. Im happier. And I truly enjoyed the things he opened up to me. People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. He served his purpose. Ive learned from it. And im better for it. A few not so nice feelings, but nothing strong enough to make me be rude to him
Prettymetty
Natural/4b/medium-coarse
One of the hardest things about being with Dh is accepting that he may not always understand or care about my hair issues. It took 3 hours getting my hair done and he seemed suspicious and upset. I was on the verge of crying, because my scalp was sore from being yanked...sigh. He should know by now that my hair is fragile and tangles easily. I can't just go swimming at the drop of a dime, I have to tie up my hair at night and I need at least an hour to shampoo/condition and detangle. If only he could have my hair for a day 
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