If something happened to your husband . . .

[SW2011]

I'm not married, but I did vote that I would remarry if I were young. But there was a couple in my church who had been married for over 25 years when the wife found out that she had cancer. So, she talked with her husband about him remarrying, and she even picked out the woman that he should marry in the church. *Sounds weird, huh?* His wife passed away, and he ended up dating this woman that his wife had chosen, they got married, and they've been together for about 10 years. They are very open and honest about how they got together, and none of it seems awkward. They are in their 60s now, and they seem so in love.

 

[Sistaslick]

I would want him to be happy. So I would want him to move on.

I don't want him to be alone and lonely to fullfill some self-ish oath of mine while I am eating cheese and wine with GOD and Jesus, living the GOOOD life. Who knows-maybe I will be getting my groove on too?! Meanwhile he is on Earth missing me AND lonely/wanting companionship.

Now this isn't an easy thing to say because I would hate to look down from the pearly gates and see someone rubbing his back mad: ) but it would hurt me more to see him unhappy. I love my SO but when he is unhappy about our relationship (or anything really) I feel it and I feel unhappy too.
As long as he remembers me and knows where HOME is, and know who he will be with once he gets where I am, it's all good.


I am a jelaous ass chick so it kind of hurt me to say that.

Awww, he's lucky to have you. I bet not see any hanky panky going on from the pearly gates after I gave you all my best years.

 

[Sistaslick]

I'm not married, but I did vote that I would remarry if I were young. But there was a couple in my church who had been married for over 25 years when the wife found out that she had cancer. So, she talked with her husband about him remarrying, and she even picked out the woman that he should marry in the church. *Sounds weird, huh?* His wife passed away, and he ended up dating this woman that his wife had chosen, they got married, and they've been together for about 10 years. They are very open and honest about how they got together, and none of it seems awkward. They are in their 60s now, and they seem so in love.

Now that's a sweet story! My husband wouldn't let me pick out my replacement, though. I'd make sure she had a good dose of ugly and a touch of hot breath.

 

[deola]

Okay I leave work with the intention of asking my honey what his thots are on the topic. I know what mine are-like someone said earlier, I would'nt remarry for 2 reasons:
1. My husband has spoilt me beyond anything, I don't know what man on this earth would put up with me and love me unconditionally like my husband does ( I actually told my husband when we first got married that he was the bravest man I know cos he married me!).
2. I can't imagine any woman bringing up my daughter, well except my mom.

Anyhoo, I go home and you know asks like it's something that just crossed my mind and the man first makes a joke of it and when he sees how serious I am, tells me to please never to speak of it. Am I planning to die on him?
He goes on with you know you are irreplaceable and reminds me again to please never speak of it-tho' smiling, I know he's serious.
Hmmm........... makes me feel all yummy inside. Some things are better left unsaid.............
But you ladies sure know how to get a woman's mind who's minding her own business rolling...............

 

[Sistaslick]

I would only re-marry if my spouse was deceased.

We both believe/married each other knowing that God sees us married to each other until death. If one of us fall short in our vows, I would hope that the Lord would allow us to show the other one grace. If I couldn't do that then I would remain single (as adultery is the only grounds for ending the marriage vow), and I would not marry again. However, I would opt to forgive and stay married as I believe God desires that. He hates divorce.

This is why it is important to examine the character of a person before marriage and let God be the head of your marriage.

If I die first I wouldn't want my Hubby to remarry...I think even in death I'd be too jealous...sad I Know

Good points!

 

[Sistaslick]

i know i would want him to be happy and not be lonely for years................... so i guess it would be ok. not sure how he feels about it.

I think it is so interesting how we ladies are much more willing to bear our loneliness and finish life alone, but fear our partner's loneliness and would encourage him to move on. You guys really love your menfolk.

Awww Deola! He sounds like a sweetie!

 

[deola]

Awww Deola! He sounds like a sweetie![/quote]

He is and sometimes he tells me he can't believe I agreed to marry him meanwhile I feel blessed that he saw through my um-not-so-caustic-mouth(said with a bit of sarcasm) and was brave enogh to marry me

But you gurl are something else! You crack me up with your witty sense of humor!
Thanks for starting this thread. I have been laughing hard right from work.
You remind me of me somehow

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

I would if I found someone worthy of me and my son.

 

[PinkPeony]

I voted yes but I actually I wouldn't remarry.
I probably would have a SO tough.

Now I would want my DH to date again even tough the thought makes me very jealous.

This men mutates into a helpless cavemen whenever I'm gone.
He makes himself a fake ella out of a big pillow and sometimes a shirt of me that he can hug at night when I'm gone for a while
Then he just eats ramen noodles and hard boiled eggs,nothing else for as long as I'm gone.
This is the man that cooks up dinner for me almost every night when I come home from work.

He said it many times that without me he is miserable and doesn't know what to do with himself.
He said if something would happen to me he would move up in the mountains away from everyone and just work on cars.

It would break my heart if that would really happen.
I imagine him living all up by himself in the wilderness,eating hard boiled eggs everyday*or beef jerkey* with his stupid fake pillow and a squirrel as his only friend.erplexed

 

[MissScarlett]

Dh says he wouldn't re-marry. I'm sure he'd find a companion but when we talk about it, he says he doesn't think anyone could live up to having his last name except me

I on the other hand could see myself re-marrying when my boys got out of the house. Or having a companion of some sort. I definitely don't see myself being alone.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Hubby and I had this conversation a few times and we both said we would remain single if one of us died, but who really knows but God.

Now divorce is another story, I'll be darn if I stay by myself for the rest of my life if we divorced. If I was really up there in age like 60 or something, I would consider being a co-wife, so I can just have companionship every now and then.

ETA: I also doubt that we would remain single if one of died really young, I would hate to grow old alone and I'm sure he would too. I guess you really don't know what you would do

 

[septemberbaby]

I would only re-marry if my spouse was deceased.

We both believe/married each other knowing that God sees us married to each other until death. If one of us fall short in our vows, I would hope that the Lord would allow us to show the other one grace. If I couldn't do that then I would remain single (as adultery is the only grounds for ending the marriage vow), and I would not marry again. However, I would opt to forgive and stay married as I believe God desires that. He hates divorce.

This is why it is important to examine the character of a person before marriage and let God be the head of your marriage.

If I die first I wouldn't want my Hubby to remarry...I think even in death I'd be too jealous...sad I Know

I totally agree!

 

[scorpian]

Would you re-marry? Would you expect him to if something happened to you?

My husband and I were talking about this the other day. We both said we'd just continue to be single if we divorced or someone passed. But I can't help but wonder if we said those things because we are just so much in love that we can't picture anything else. Are we still being influenced by that young lover's optimism? Or is there a harsh reality we're both trying to overlook?

I've often heard people say after another spouse has passed, "He/she would have wanted me to be happy" when they start looking for love again.

Is it unreasonable to expect your mate to be alone (faithful) after you are gone, or for your mate to expect the same of you? Would your answer change if your spouse passed away vs. a divorce? Or depend on whether you and your spouse were still young or getting older?

I would remarry and I would want my spouse to remarry. My hubby knows this and we agree. My mother died when she was 20 and my dad was 24. My father had 2 more children but he never remarried. Although he was always surrounded by ladies acting a fool over him he seemed very lonely and when he died in his 40's he still seemed miserable to me. It was like he wanted to move on but the guilt of not knowing if he'd have my mothers blessing was too much so he never remarried even though I know that there was a time when he wanted too.

 

[dlewis]

I would remarry and I would want my spouse to remarry. My hubby knows this and we agree. My mother died when she was 20 and my dad was 24. My father had 2 more children but he never remarried. Although he was always surrounded by ladies acting a fool over him he seemed very lonely and when he died in his 40's he still seemed miserable to me. It was like he wanted to move on but the guilt of not knowing if he'd have my mothers blessing was too much so he never remarried even though I know that there was a time when he wanted too.

That's sad........

 

[msroddy]

I was widowed just short of my 35th birthday and my 5th wedding anniversary, so as someone who has lived it, I can tell you I WANT TO GET REMARRIED.

I'm not ready for it yet, but I believe we have many soul mates and connections to other people in life. I know my husband would not want me to be alone or lonely for the rest of my life and that when I'm ready, I will have his blessing and guidance to find new love. It won't take away from the love that I still feel for him.

 

[Sistaslick]

I would remarry and I would want my spouse to remarry. My hubby knows this and we agree. My mother died when she was 20 and my dad was 24. My father had 2 more children but he never remarried. Although he was always surrounded by ladies acting a fool over him he seemed very lonely and when he died in his 40's he still seemed miserable to me. It was like he wanted to move on but the guilt of not knowing if he'd have my mothers blessing was too much so he never remarried even though I know that there was a time when he wanted too.

Aww,that is very sad. Poor guy.

and MsRoddy, I hope you find peace in his passing and find love again.

 

[Sistaslick]

He is and sometimes he tells me he can't believe I agreed to marry him meanwhile I feel blessed that he saw through my um-not-so-caustic-mouth(said with a bit of sarcasm) and was brave enogh to marry me

But you gurl are something else! You crack me up with your witty sense of humor!
Thanks for starting this thread. I have been laughing hard right from work.
You remind me of me somehow

Thank you!

 

[Sistaslick]

I voted yes but I actually I wouldn't remarry.
I probably would have a SO tough.

Now I would want my DH to date again even tough the thought makes me very jealous.

This men mutates into a helpless cavemen whenever I'm gone.
He makes himself a fake ella out of a big pillow and sometimes a shirt of me that he can hug at night when I'm gone for a whileThen he just eats ramen noodles and hard boiled eggs,nothing else for as long as I'm gone.
This is the man that cooks up dinner for me almost every night when I come home from work.

He said it many times that without me he is miserable and doesn't know what to do with himself.
He said if something would happen to me he would move up in the mountains away from everyone and just work on cars.

It would break my heart if that would really happen.
I imagine him living all up by himself in the wilderness,eating hard boiled eggs everyday*or beef jerkey* with his stupid fake pillow and a squirrel as his only friend.erplexed

Not a fake Ella pillow! Awww, now that's love right there. Some Crazy kinda love.

 

[PinkPeony]

This is a good subject. My DH and I have been talking about this. If something happened to one of us, I am not sure if we would "re-marry". But that doesn't mean that we would not have a companion.

I have always thought that if something happened to my Husband then as I get older, it would be hard for me to find someone because I would be less tolerant to the games in a relationship.

I agree.

My husband wanted to get married for years. He gets lonely by himself. I love him and I really wouldn't want him to be sad and lonely if I died. He hates talking about it and sometimes starts to cry. His usual answer is he'd be overwhelmed with my death, raising the boys alone and not having anyone to make dinner, he wouldn't know where to find a another woman.

The man needs a wife.

That sounds like mine,minus the crazy ella pillowerplexed

Sista
I can't even say it ain't so

 

[Lady Esquire]

We have talked about it. No I would not remarry. I have two small daughters and I would not trust another man around them. I would probably date on the low, and get my groove on erry now and then, but the man would not be introduced to my girls. Now, when I am an empty-nester, than most likely I would be more open to marriage because my paranoia wouldn't be plaguing me

 

[infojunkie]

Marriage is the hardest thing I've ever done. This includes raising my 3 boys. If DH gets hits by a bus tomorrow, I will NEVER say "I do" again and I told him so. All I need is a maintenance man .

 

[14got]

my dad was a cheater
my mom never had another relationship after him
I see it as a waste
she put everything she had into us and now we have our own lives
what does that leave her with
nothing but memories and an empty house

 

[PinkPeony]

my dad was a cheater
my mom never had another relationship after him
I see it as a waste
she put everything she had into us and now we have our own lives
what does that leave her with
nothing but memories and an empty house

Wow I'm sorry for your mom Kei.erplexed

 

[UmSumayyah]

I would probably remarry after the kids were grown. Now I am leaving this thread because I am not trying to cry today.

 

[BillyJay]

I dont think I could. No way!
I dont think another man is capable of being like my dh.

I dont think he would remarry,who knows. I just want him to find solace.

 

[ArrrBeee]

I don't think that I would remarry unless I met someone who treated me like a queen. At this stage in my life I feel that anything else would be settling and I don't wanna settle.

 

[Summer_Rain]

To the ladies who said they would not re-marry, do you believe in a such thing as "soul mates"? Do you believe that we all have only one?

 

[senimoni]

I think I would be OK with him marrying but I would hope that he would respect my memory and not date or marry in a short amount of time. Not that I would know, but in theory if it was less than a year, to me , is a slap in the face, especially if we have children. A friend of mine did that...male...married within 6-8 months....I was like dang can the body get cold and decompose a little before you move another woman in your house with your kids.

 

[Sistaslick]

To the ladies who said they would not re-marry, do you believe in a such thing as "soul mates"? Do you believe that we all have only one?

I think I'd fall under that category. I do believe that we have soul mates, and anyone after that would just be placeholder. But then again, if I'm divorcing someone obviously they weren't my soulmate.

 

[Sistaslick]

I think I would be OK with him marrying but I would hope that he would respect my memory and not date or marry in a short amount of time. Not that I would know, but in theory if it was less than a year, to me , is a slap in the face, especially if we have children. A friend of mine did that...male...married within 6-8 months....I was like dang can the body get cold and decompose a little before you move another woman in your house with your kids.

I'm sorry but that funny