I mean, am I buggin?

[sky_blu]

It would be hard BUT I'd chose to walk away. I've learned once the trust is gone the relationship is over. I wouldn't want to be with someone that I'd always be wondering.

 

[Mai Tai]

Yes I agree…With you giving her bad advice that is.


Don't feel bad though. It happens to the best of us.

 

[CurlyMoo]

He is not a faithful man!
He's sexting with a woman behind her back.
I wouldn't be able to trust him.
Sounds like he pissed the other girl off.
How did she know he had a girlfriend?
I'm guessing he posted pics of he and his girlfriend on FB.
And I'm also going to guess that this other girl is one of his "friends" on FB.

 

[Makenzie]

ETA: Reading that implies that he admitted to sending it, but didn't intend to act on it, so there's no misunderstanding or some trick the woman. My answer based on that information: I am, admittedly, entirely too insecure to stay after such revelations. There would be no working out for me....talk of marriage and all. I. would. shut. down. He'd never see or get wind that I shed a single tear or played a single Toni Braxton/Keyshia Cole/Adele in his honor. I'd do exactly what homegirl did, all means of communication done. But I surely envy the women strong enough or confident enough...whatever it is, to being able to withstand something like that or overlook those kinds of "mistakes."

To stay would be foolish not insecure. A woman secure in her self would know she doesn't need to stay with a cheater.

Random thought: I never understood why a loved one would encourage someone to stay or go back to someone who betrayed them. I would be furious with anyone who encouraged me to stay with someone just because we were together for such and such a time, and spent every second of the day together. So???...he betrayed me. F him.

I totally agree!

 

[Starronda]

He is not a faithful man!
He's sexting with a woman behind her back.
I wouldn't be able to trust him.
Sounds like he pissed the other girl off.
How did she know he had a girlfriend?
I'm guessing he posted pics of he and his girlfriend on FB.
And I'm also going to guess that this other girl is one of his "friends" on FB.

Apparently he's not friends with the other girl on his FB. They know the same people since they grew up in the same town, so someone on his page must have went back to tell the other girl. My friend is on his FB and has been for the entire time they've met. Like someone said, he must have pissed the other chic off and then came to tell my friend everything.

 

[Kinky4Agirl]

A man that owns up to his hand in the cookie jar is not expressing honestly. He can't lie away something in writing such as a text message. He knew he was caught. She should have asked him if he was seeing or texting other women without telling him she knew about his texts beforhand. If he told the truth I would appreciate his honesty but I would still kick him to the curb. He already has an apetite for more than one woman whether he acts on it or not.. so No No No.. He's a loser.

 

[Naveah2050]

That's why I'm starting to think I gave bad advice. Part of me thinks "it was just a text" that he didn't act on. But then I put myself in that position and I'm not sure I would be able to do it. I guess I'm looking at it like it like it's been 9 months, they've met each others parents, they're together everyday, went on about three vacations together. You just look at them and you see love in their eyes. My friend said she had no idea that he would of done that to her. There were no clues or anything. She actually first didn't believe the girl until she got the screenshots and he fessed up to doing it and has been blowing her work phone up and sending messages to her fb and some of our friends trying to talk to her.

I think you had your heart in the right place but have bad advice. It's not just the cheating but the fact that he completely fooled and lied to her so she never expected it. That's what would concern me dating/marrying someone that could look me in the eyes and lie and completely deceive me - she doesn't know him at all if in between all this time they spent together he somehow found time to cheat/try to cheat especially in the honeymoon stage of the relationship.

 

[crazytrish75]

I would break it off completely. There is nothing to work through. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

I cannot stress this enough This behavior is only the beginning. Kissing is not "innocent" IMHO. Kissing is very intimate. Your friend is very smart, now she just needs to stay away.

I am currently getting out of a 19 year marriage, but the red flags were there as far back as when we were dating, I just ignored them.

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

Sssppdfftt! Your friend knows her worth. Throw up the dueces!!!

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Her SO and the other woman both said there was no sex during but he has had sex with this woman in the past..

This is suspicious. They're probably both lying, if they did it once, and are sending each other freaky messages, it's only a matter of time.