january noir
Sunny On a Cloudy Day
I bet their diet contributes too. We are what we eat.
I don’t have pretty privilege and that sucks
- Thread starter caribeandiva
- Start date
almond eyes
Well-Known Member
I also come from the same blood and had the same diet but this didn't happen for me. I am brown skinned, hairy forearms and legs (thank goodness not face) and I battled hormonal acne in my teens.
Best,
Almond Eyes
almond eyes
Well-Known Member
Leeda.the.Paladin
Well-Known Member
Thoughts on this?
MamaBear2012
Well-Known Member
She's so interesting. I find myself annoyed by her. I know she isn't someone that I could be friends with because as I think someone else mentioned, she is one of those people who thinks she's smarter than everyone else. The few clips that I have watched of her have all included her giving her "friends" backhanded compliments or being plain rude.
She talks about her one friend who easily makes friends, but even while she talks about her, she has this underhanded shadiness. She talked about her friend who she lived with and she kept talking about how this friend was so attached to this trendy location that she was overlooking roaches and rodents. She talked about these friends that she knew well enough to go on a trip to Joshua Tree, but one was an aggressive sleepwalker and the other needed her to quote Bible verses. Or the friend that she was close to for 5 years and how she could call her up now and things would be cool, but she pops up a caption that they wouldn't talk unless she was the one to call the friend. Who would want to be friends with her? Who would want to date or marry someone like this?
She talks about her one friend who easily makes friends, but even while she talks about her, she has this underhanded shadiness. She talked about her friend who she lived with and she kept talking about how this friend was so attached to this trendy location that she was overlooking roaches and rodents. She talked about these friends that she knew well enough to go on a trip to Joshua Tree, but one was an aggressive sleepwalker and the other needed her to quote Bible verses. Or the friend that she was close to for 5 years and how she could call her up now and things would be cool, but she pops up a caption that they wouldn't talk unless she was the one to call the friend. Who would want to be friends with her? Who would want to date or marry someone like this?
caribeandiva
Human being
I like this look on her!!
HappyAtLast
Simplicity & Peacefulness
She still can't get her thumbnails right. SMH.
Leeda.the.Paladin
Well-Known Member
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Sorry on CP time but just catching up in this thread.
Age and Jewish demographics aside, most matchmakers find that pairings between divorced men and never married women have more success and longevity than divorced women with never married men. There seems to be a learning curve to marriage that comes faster and easier (more intuitive) with women than men.
A male matchmaker told me that divorced men who want to remarry REALLY don't want to get divorced again so they tend to try and fix what they perceive what went wrong in their first marriage. Part of his screening process was to ask why a man thought his marriage failed and what he could have done differently. If dude had no answers or could only think of what his ex should have done then he was told he wasn't ready to be matched.Yep. And my thinking has become more black and white. I believe more and more in gender roles. Dating has been interesting though. The upside is that the divorcees I meet got some sense. I wouldn't mind landing one of those since they've had some practice
Age and Jewish demographics aside, most matchmakers find that pairings between divorced men and never married women have more success and longevity than divorced women with never married men. There seems to be a learning curve to marriage that comes faster and easier (more intuitive) with women than men.
I'm the second wife and not only does the old man say he's a better husband now but his family, friends, kids and ex wife agree that I got the better version of him. I think a lot of it is age for both of us but also by the time I came into the picture, the hardest parts of career building, child rearing and being secure in his own identity on his end were done.
oneastrocurlie
Well-Known Member
Are unpleasing thumbnails part of YouTuber HR handbook? Goodness. They are mostly bad across the board for all the things.
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
I
But then again- I know I have low key pretty privilege that’s basically wasted on a daily basis so….
I just don’t like her. Everything is negative. She’s exhausting.
But then again- I know I have low key pretty privilege that’s basically wasted on a daily basis so….
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Prettymetty
Natural/4b/medium-coarse
This was a great video. Her transparency and truth were everything
nysister
Well-Known Member
Truth.
She's physically and emotionally unattractive.
She's her own problem, and "pretty privilege" is the least of it.
awhyley
Well-Known Member
Yall are seriously hard on this woman. Stephanie is just sharing her perspectives on life.
I like the perspective given in the link below. The YouTuber is pretty also.
Link:
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
THANK YOU
I mean
what woman (even the “pretty ones”) hasn’t grappled with feelings of inadequacy or not feeling valued even the white/white adjacent ones?Homegirl in the OP needs to go lay on someone’s couch and get her mind right and then the other stuff will fall in line. She’s in her 30’s talking about this- that’s my biggest issue. She should’ve been figured this out by now. The girl in this video appears to be younger and have more sense of self-worth wisdom on the subject. It’s just SAD because it all fades the older you get unless you really take care of yourself and life happens- even to the “pretty people”. But you still have to love YOURSELF at the end of the day. The privilege, the friends. If you build it- girl they will come…
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cocosweet
Well-Known Member
So, I'm not alone in thinking she arrived at this conclusion about a decade late? Making and keeping friends as a grown behind woman takes WORK. You don't have those artificial helpers like school and extracurricular activities to introduce you to people you wouldn't otherwise meet. You literally have to get out there and make it happen. Even when you do, somebody is going to be the person who calls or texts more. If you don't want your relationships to die off, you need to be cool with being the person who initiates.THANK YOU
I mean
Homegirl in the OP needs to go lay on someone’s couch and get her mind right and then the other stuff will fall in line. She’s in her 30’s talking about this- that’s my biggest issue. She should’ve been figured this out by now. The girl in this video appears to be younger and have more sense of self-worth wisdom on the subject. It’s just SAD because it all fades the older you get unless you really take care of yourself and life happens- even to the “pretty people”. But you still have to love YOURSELF at the end of the day. The privilege, the friends. If you build it- girl they will come…
I did find it interesting that a study had been done about the tendency to replace friends every 5-7 years. I hadn't thought about it that way, but most people are only going to be in your life for a little while.
Sarabellam
Well-Known Member
Pretty Privilege is a real thing. She is dealing with a different type of personal problem. See above for the awesome analysis from the other ladies on the forum. Just wanted to add that pretty privilege is relative. Someone who is below average looking would be sucking their teeth listening to her complain about being invisible bc they frequently hear negative comments about their looks.
One more thing. She is in LA. Some much of the “pretty” attributes also serve as status symbols and she is not playing by that game. Ignoring the more Eurocentric nonsense associated with “pretty”, keeping up appearances means you probably have regular cosmetic procedures, a personal trainer, possibly plastic surgery, expensive clothes that match the season, and are putting in the effort and $$$ to meet an arbitrary standard. Her whole look says that she isn’t even in that race. If she was doing what the “pretty” people in LA do but was still invisible bc of her genetics then that would be a different conversation.
edited for spelling
One more thing. She is in LA. Some much of the “pretty” attributes also serve as status symbols and she is not playing by that game. Ignoring the more Eurocentric nonsense associated with “pretty”, keeping up appearances means you probably have regular cosmetic procedures, a personal trainer, possibly plastic surgery, expensive clothes that match the season, and are putting in the effort and $$$ to meet an arbitrary standard. Her whole look says that she isn’t even in that race. If she was doing what the “pretty” people in LA do but was still invisible bc of her genetics then that would be a different conversation.
edited for spelling
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Black Ambrosia
Well-Known Member
I almost didn't watch but I'm glad I did. Initially I rolled my eyes but ultimately enjoyed it. She's long winded and goes places she shouldn't but she made some valid points. I wouldn't have given the experience the same energy but if this is your space and the online presence you're trying to create then it goes with the territory I guess. If she can keep her videos to less than 10 minutes I'd be way more likely to listen again. I still don't like the glasses but I think she's looking better with each video.
Basically she went on a date and the guy showed up in what looked like pajamas while she put effort into her makeup, hair, and clothes. He asked her why she was still single which rubbed her the wrong way and is ironic because she's still single because she's going on dates with guys like him. He gets a phone call and leaves to take the call. He doesn't come back but sends a text telling her that his daughter is headed to the hospital. She paid the tab and left. Waited a couple of hours to see if he'd follow up with a real apology but he didn't. Then she blocked him.
fluffyforever
Well-Known Member
I haven’t read this entire thread but bits and parts.
I’m not pretty. I am not even average. On a good day I can be cute at best. I accepted that years ago and decided to make the most of my situation by focusing on my outfits, how I carry myself, my confidence, and my personality. And doing those things took time for me to get comfortable with it all, but I really did transform myself from a tomboy that wanted to be ignored to someone that feels pretty. And I’m seen as pretty and it shows in the difference in the way I’m treated by people now compared to before.
And maybe it’s easier for me to feel this way because I don’t live in LA. But I believe still a change in attitude and making a daily effort can go far in a lot of situations. and perhaps she should move to a location that can provide better mental health balance where she doesn’t feel the need to compare herself to others.
As for men she sounds like she has to do better at vetting and surrounding herself with quality people. Like how do you even find yourself talking to a man that would even think about wearing pajamas out in public let alone on a date? I hope she isn’t blaming her non-prettiness on her ability to pick.
I’m not pretty. I am not even average. On a good day I can be cute at best. I accepted that years ago and decided to make the most of my situation by focusing on my outfits, how I carry myself, my confidence, and my personality. And doing those things took time for me to get comfortable with it all, but I really did transform myself from a tomboy that wanted to be ignored to someone that feels pretty. And I’m seen as pretty and it shows in the difference in the way I’m treated by people now compared to before.
And maybe it’s easier for me to feel this way because I don’t live in LA. But I believe still a change in attitude and making a daily effort can go far in a lot of situations. and perhaps she should move to a location that can provide better mental health balance where she doesn’t feel the need to compare herself to others.
As for men she sounds like she has to do better at vetting and surrounding herself with quality people. Like how do you even find yourself talking to a man that would even think about wearing pajamas out in public let alone on a date? I hope she isn’t blaming her non-prettiness on her ability to pick.
Late to the discussion, but I also agree that saying women can’t handle the truth is a convenient cope out for the male collective.
Various male movement started (MGTOW, RED PILL, Passport Bros, etc) because men are angry at the truth about certain aspects of female nature. Patriarchy is Affirmative Action for a large collective of men and they are flipping out all over the world whenever women start being able to express certain thought and actions.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I agree.
OmbreLune
Well-Known Member
It is those who avoid the truth that are afraid of the consequences of it. They can't handle the idea of women living their lives without putting men first. This is why they've spent the entirety of human history suppressing women's voices. We know of the overt, violent examples but they use subtle ways too by hiding their true intentions. As a whole it is men who are the fragile ones
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awhyley
Well-Known Member
There were like so many red flags in this video from the beginning, that the result only could have gone left. Let's take a look;
- They met through mutual friends, but he didn't call her, she called him (asking if they wanted to meet up).
- He named the place, but it appears that it was for his convenience, as she had to drive an hour away to meet him.
- When she got there, she received compliments from the women, but not from her date and in her words "that was okay"
- (Did I mention that when she asked what he does for a living, that his response was that, "he has businesses". Sounds like shady mess.)
After watching her friends video, I was wary of the people she was spending time with, but this video right here confirmed it.
eta: Hold up, just watching the reminder now. He jumped up, left WITHOUT a word and she had to pay for both meals?! Chile.
She's patting herself on the back from blocking him, but she really didn't have to be in that position in the first place.
Last thing, her "She's safe with me" talk at the end was more depressing than uplifting. Now, I'm headed to the YouTube comments . . .
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Black Ambrosia
Well-Known Member
I almost mentioned her driving an hour but chalked it up to a misunderstanding. She said she went to the wrong location initially. I'm guessing she didn't try to change it because it was last minute and potentially her fault for not getting it right. (She didn't say that but it's inferred from her other comments about not realizing there was more than one location.) I can see taking the L and driving the extra distance in that scenario.There were like so many red flags in this video from the beginning, that the result only could have gone left. Let's take a look;
All of this BEFORE this dude showed up in his PJs. Someone who said that her picker is off is spot on.
- They met through mutual friends, but he didn't call her, she called him (asking if they wanted to meet up).
- He named the place, but it appears that it was for his convenience, as she had to drive an hour away to meet him.
- When she got there, she received compliments from the women, but not from her date and in her words "that was okay"
- (Did I mention that when she asked what he does for a living, that his response was that, "he has businesses". Sounds like shady mess.)
After watching her friends video, I was wary of the people she was spending time with, but this video right here confirmed it.
eta: Hold up, just watching the reminder now. He jumped up, left WITHOUT a word and she had to pay for both meals?! Chile.
She's patting herself on the back from blocking him, but she really didn't have to be in that position in the first place.
Last thing, her "She's safe with me" talk at the end was more depressing than uplifting. Now, I'm headed to the YouTube comments . . .
He was still wrong though because he told her beforehand that he didn't care where they went but after she picked a spot he turned around and said he wanted to go to a different restaurant. If he'd mentioned that his pick was the best Mexican spot in town then I'd view it differently but it came across as a personal preference that he could've offered up when they were making plans but didn't. It's like how people don't want to be decision makers when it's time to make plans but then sit around and veto your ideas. It's a weird way of making people cater to you.
caribeandiva
Human being
So… should we go ahead and add her to the prayer circle?
almond eyes
Well-Known Member
I find her stories interesting and I think it happens to so many black women, they don't just talk about it openly about these things because they don't want to be seen as undesirable. That date of hers did the classic dine and dash and maybe he knew that someone would catch him dining with her. Had she been light skinned he never would have dashed out like that. She is actually lucky that he dashed and left her with hurt feelings and a bill rather than him embarrassing her afterwards saying he forgot his wallet then attempting to smash her afterwards in the back of a car. These days as a black woman, we have to literally learn to smell the stank from a mile.
Also, we have all of the advise about how she should wear different glasses or wig, yet a friend of mine who was PR and had the flat hair, flat bum, bad skin and the big glasses could pull any BM. I am tired of the onus always being on us to look a certain way when that is not the issue. We constantly have to second guess everything we do when the issue goes deeper than that. My PR friend it didn't matter how she dressed or if she was having a sour pus day, she could literally pull most BM.
Best,
Almond Eyes
Also, we have all of the advise about how she should wear different glasses or wig, yet a friend of mine who was PR and had the flat hair, flat bum, bad skin and the big glasses could pull any BM. I am tired of the onus always being on us to look a certain way when that is not the issue. We constantly have to second guess everything we do when the issue goes deeper than that. My PR friend it didn't matter how she dressed or if she was having a sour pus day, she could literally pull most BM.
Best,
Almond Eyes
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Black Ambrosia
Well-Known Member
I'm inclined to believe something really came up though, whatever it was, it didn't warrant that kind of response. Maybe he got a call from a woman he was more interested in? He already met her in person. He knew what she looked like and picked the place so concerns about being seen with her don't seem likely.
I think we can all be more discerning but really a lot of women just need to not take so much personally. Go on the date and if they disappoint then don't engage. This is what she's doing but it feels like so much more because she's giving her play by play analysis and seems to stay in her feelings.
almond eyes
Well-Known Member
She is YouTuber and is a story teller.
A guy I went on a date with years ago, he asked me out to a restaurant then became very uncomfortable as people he knew spotted him. I found out later than he was dating several other women. I wondered why did he bother even taking the date if he was feeling so uncomfortable.
Best,
Almond Eyes
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