I Don’t Date Men With Kids

ScorpioBeauty09 said:
For good reason. Raising a child is terribly expensive, Millennials aren't able to buy houses like Boomers were at our age. :look: I have zero patience for older people usually Boomers trying to probe Millennials on when we're having children. When you ask some of these same Boomers how they feel about subsidized child care, Medicare-for-All or free community college tuition are staunchly against them. o_O
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Oh the Boomers..
 
Haven't read all the posts yet, but I felt the same way. I'm actually 39 and have only dated one guy with kids and that was not for very long. SO now is a bit younger than me, but he has no kids. Don't worry, there are men out there without kids, particularly non-Blk men, if you're open to that.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
Because the first thing out of there mouths is usually would you be open to having more LOL! So it is easier to just screen that out from the beginning!
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Exactly!!! I have had to add "do you want more kids?" to my screening list of questions/things to discuss off the top as soon as I meet someone now. Last year sometime I was considering exploring things with a guy that I had a threesome with a few years ago, but when I asked him if he wanted more kids, he said he wasn't sure. Pass.
 
caribeandiva said:
That had to hurt. This was a breach of trust.
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Oh absolutely!!! It definitely hurt. The movie "35 and Ticking" (more specifically, the story line between the characters Tamala Jones and Dondre Whitfield played) was a huge emotional trigger for me, especially the first time I saw that movie. I literally lived and went through that with my ex-husband, so it was extremely painful to watch every time I saw it.

I didn't have a moment like Tamala's character did at the end, having to see her ex-husband having a baby with someone else, but I had a similar realization and had to come to terms with the fact that he wanted kids, he just did not want them with me. That was one of the hard truths that I mentioned being revealed, and I had to reveal it, not him. He still wouldn't say it to my face.

Anyway, I had to contact him a few years after our divorce. Nothing gave me greater pleasure than when he found out that I had realized my dream of becoming a mother.

He was still childless, but I expected and figured as much.
 
shortycocoa said:
Exactly!!! I have had to add "do you want more kids?" to my screening list of questions/things to discuss off the top as soon as I meet someone now. Last year sometime I was considering exploring things with a guy that I had a threesome with a few years ago, but when I asked him if he wanted more kids, he said he wasn't sure. Pass.
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Right. Because you take it further and get entangled then they’re hounding you about it. Hard pass lol
 
caribeandiva said:
So I met this Latino last week who thinks I’m a snack. No kids or ex-wife!! I think I should’ve been more specific with The Universe when I said I open to dating younger guys because this dude is 18!! 1-8. He’s dead serious too! :lol:
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Get your tenderoni gyal!!

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caribeandiva said:
So I met this Latino last week who thinks I’m a snack. No kids or ex-wife!! I think I should’ve been more specific with The Universe when I said I open to dating younger guys because this dude is 18!! 1-8. He’s dead serious too! :lol:
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Hold on now! Remember what I said in one of those relationship/dating threads. Everybody has a purpose. Figure out what you need and/or want his purpose to be in your life right now, then get in where you fit in. Ayyyyeeee.....:lachen: :lachen: :lachen:
 
hopeful said:
Make him show you his ID! He could be only 17. If he is indeed 18 do what you gotta do :giggle:. This young man is out here trying to live his best life lol.
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:lachen:He sure aims high if he thinks he can land me. I told him he was too young and he was arguing with me. Talking bout age ain’t nothing but a number, I’m young but experienced :look:, I’m moving out and getting my own place soon, I’m very mature for my age, whadayamean I need more life experiences?, etc... I gotta say this is tough cuz a girl’s got needs and I have a more than willing participant. :lol: My issue is it weirds me out that he’s a high school senior and hasn’t even started college yet. I should definitely check his ID! :lol:
 
caribeandiva said:
:lachen:He sure aims high if he thinks he can land me. I told him he was too young and he was arguing with me. Talking bout age ain’t nothing but a number, I’m young but experienced :look:, I’m moving out and getting my own place soon, I’m very mature for my age, whadayamean I need more life experiences?, etc... I gotta say this is tough cuz a girl’s got needs and I have a more than willing participant. :lol: My issue is it weirds me out that he’s a high school senior and hasn’t even started college yet. I should definitely check his ID! :lol:
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High school senior??

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BEAUTYU2U said:
See, what ya'll been encouraging?! :lol: His mama still changes his bed sheets.
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:lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

In our defense, we didn't know that part. @caribeandiva, you should have led with that, girl. :lachen:

But yes, check the ID for sure. We can't have you out here catching a charge for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. :lachen:

caribeandiva said:
:lachen:He sure aims high if he thinks he can land me. I told him he was too young and he was arguing with me. Talking bout age ain’t nothing but a number, I’m young but experienced :look:, I’m moving out and getting my own place soon, I’m very mature for my age, whadayamean I need more life experiences?, etc... I gotta say this is tough cuz a girl’s got needs and I have a more than willing participant. :lol: My issue is it weirds me out that he’s a high school senior and hasn’t even started college yet. I should definitely check his ID! :lol:
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In all seriousness though, I see where you're coming from with the age gap. He hasn't really lived life yet. But even an older guy could present the same way, with no life experiences either and no sense of self. I went through that also, which is why I said what I said in the 'dating for marriage' thread about not marrying certain types of men.

But getting back to Mr. Young Buck/I'm So Ready....you could just remain acquainted until he gets a little older and has grown in the ways you feel he needs to before taking him seriously. And in the meantime, find out if he has some older friends/relatives. :lachen:
 
I have not finished this thread. But after seeing the drama of blended families in DH's parents' lives and my mom's life... If I ever get divorced and remarry I will NOT date anyone with kids. I MIGHT consider a divorced dude with adult kids and he would have to be rich. LOL
 
Farida said:
I have not finished this thread. But after seeing the drama of blended families in DH's parents' lives and my mom's life... If I ever get divorced and remarry I will NOT date anyone with kids. I MIGHT consider a divorced dude with adult kids and he would have to be rich. LOL
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I know that's right! I've heard that sentiment from several women before. It makes sense. The adult kids probably won't be around much, except for holidays maybe and you wouldn't have to worry about lack of money.
 
caribeandiva said:
That’s my preference when it comes to dating. I have my reasons but it really doesn’t matter because at the end of the day I know what I can and can’t live with. A couple of friends are telling me that I’m asking for too much and need to lower my standards. They say it’s unrealistic because most men my age (34) have at least one child. I told them I don’t care. There’s always younger men. :lol: I don’t think I’m asking for too much. I’m quite a catch (if I say so myself:lol:) and managed to make it to this point with no baby daddy or ex-husband. I’m a unicorn and yet I exist! :lol: I’m sure I can find at least ONE man out there who’ll fit the criteria. Am I being unrealistic?
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This has been me my whole adult life. Some people like tall men and don’t like short men. Some people like muscular men and some like normal looking men. As for me, I don’t like men with kids. I’m just too selfish to share my man. I’ve tried in the past and thank heavens it never worked out. I want all my experiences to be the first with him....even if I did wait a long time to get married or have kids. Sorry not sorry.!
 
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WhipEffectz1 said:
This has been me my whole adult life. Some people like tall men and don’t like short men. Some people like muscular men and some like normal looking men. As for me, I don’t like men with kids. I’m just too selfish to share my man. I’ve tried in the past and thank heavens it never worked out. I want all my experiences to be the first with him....even if I did wait a long time to get married or have kids. Sorry not sorry.!
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Whipz!!!!! Girl, where you been???? We don't see you around these parts too often. :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

caribeandiva said:
Exactly!! Sorry. I ain’t sorry. *twerks like Serena in the music video*
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:lachen: :lachen: :lachen:
 
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