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About five years difference. It is a very interesting marriage story, however I think it is more
Sadly
But most women can’t handle that truth. Most men won’t be honest or upfront about their real reasons for marrying their wives.
I remember this older gentleman approached for me marriage. He was very matter of fact. He said " you are the right height, build, size and age". He was retired military and wanted to marry and start a family. He listed all the things he could offer me and I was like wow, ok.
It’s not women who can’t handle the truth though. No one likes hearing unpleasant things. IMO men don’t want the smoke, whether it be yelling or tears or leaving, that goes with telling the truth and because women are appropriately emotional they say women can’t handle it. That’s man logic. If you say hurtful things to me and I cry or yell that doesn’t mean I can’t handle it. They can’t handle the response and the possibility of women leaving. They know they lose control if they tell the truth and they don’t want that.
I agree with you that a man being upfront and honest about his true intentions of marriage may hurt his wife or future wife’s feelings, but it is what it is. If a man tells you straight up I want to marry you because you seem nurturing and would be a good mother for my children and none of the lovey dovey romantic stuff, a woman might not be able to handle that. Let’s be honest about that. It’s a hard pill to swallow for some. He might not find you attractive, but you are a good caregiver.
There's something misogynistic about framing it this way. Each person has a choice but when it's a woman she can't "handle" it. Really she's just exercising her right to make another choice, same as a man, but they don't get that label. And women not being able to "handle" any number of inconvenient truths has been cover for men lying for ages.
I guess the word handle doesn’t sit right with you, so maybe a woman grasping a man’s true intentions of marrying her might be something she wasn’t prepared to deal with, expect, or accept sounds better? What is the woman’s end goal when it comes to marriage? Generally, women expect a man to be head over hills in love with her and find her to be the fairest of them all. That’s not true for some married couples and men that want to get married. It might not matter to some women that her husband isn’t with her for those reasons and that’s ok. Just like women know better than to tell a man he is ugly and she is only with him because he is a good provider, or he has status.
How did his approach make you feel?
it was unsettling to be honest. I was not flattered. Maybe if I was in a different head space I may have seen it as an opportunity but at that time I saw it as insulting. He didn't really care about me, I just fit a prototype. Plus the age difference was a bit much. I was 31, but looked 22 and he was 17 years older. I just had to shake my head at the whole thing.
At 40 yes, but at 31 I still wanted to be romanced and courtedMe and my childless uterus can appreciate this. I'm nearing 40 (this close to it) so dating is a whole different monster. I'm fresh off a failed engagement, so I essential lost time behind that. Instead of just an Ltr I'm dating for marriage.
I have the same desires for a mate, but my priorities are now in a different order.
Last week I was approached by a well put together older man. Maybe 20 years my senior. When he found out that I cook everyday for myself he damned near fell over
The only reason I choose not to date men that old is because I'm sure that I can do better. But better believe that the ability to provide, which is readily evident after a certain age, is the main factor.
At 40 yes, but at 31 I still wanted to be romanced and courted
I wanted R&B love songs, drama and music video/movie kina love .
Sis, I feel you. Here's a copy and paste of a comment I left in another thread:
The older I get the more I can relate. Passion and fire are great but a lot of us just want someone to be happy, comfortable, and cared for.
I no longer care to be the woman who can take care of everything herself. I've been doing that my entire life and I'm tieeddd. Let someone else take the reigns.
I’ve met more than a few men who’ve remarried and they all say they’re better husbands now than they were with their first wives.Yep. And my thinking has become more black and white. I believe more and more in gender roles. Dating has been interesting though. The upside is that the divorcees I meet got some sense. I wouldn't mind landing one of those since they've had some practice
I just wanted to comment that for all the negative comments were for how terrible people thought the blogger was for going on about this topic this thread is alive and well- nevertheless I enjoy lurking
Carry on…
yes, she is looking BETTER, but better doesn’t necessarily change the facts.
How do they get that beautiful skin?
And to think that most of them don't wear suncreen in that hot sun.
