I Don’t Date Men With Kids

[BEAUTYU2U]

Lol. I'm certain he's not. I know one of his ex-girlfriends and he and I tried to give it a go many years ago. Honestly, I think he just hasn't found the one.

I'm half kidding cause obviously I don't know the man but it seems like he has a whole lot going for him. Something gotta be off.

I think it's different for women because the numbers are against us but men can swing a dead cat blindfolded and hit a decent woman to settle down with.

 

[caribeandiva]

#4 is gay.

I’m thinking small crayon

 

[Covagirlm]

men can swing a dead cat blindfolded

Seriously at his age looking for the "one" ..something aint right and it's his fault.

 

[Covagirlm]

I’m thinking small crayon

Those dudes are married too.

 

[Dposh167]

Most of the men in my social circle who are 30+ do not have kids. Its about 7 of them. I live in a big city so its easier to find a lot of 30+ men without kids because we're all chasing our careers first. Actually one of them just got engaged at 36. I never date men with kids and never have. If I lived in a small town then my options would be the opposite

 

[huxtable]

Seriously at his age looking for the "one" ..something aint right and it's his fault.

Yup

"A single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife" and at his age that is not hard to come by. I am being harsh here, but if he wanted one, he would have one by now.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

A lot of these men don't want to be tied down. Does that mean something is "wrong" with them? I don't know LOL! But I know quite a few older guys, well pedigreed, and will date casually, spend money, sex women, but they do not want to be committed. They may call it never finding the one, but black men in that position who are financially healthy have a lot of options they can and do exercise without the obligation of monogamy and commitment.

 

[Southernbella.]

@caribeandiva you might want to reach out to Zaynab (outside the board). She's the real deal, I've seen her results.

 

[caribeandiva]

@caribeandiva you might want to reach out to Zaynab (outside the board). She's the real deal, I've seen her results.

Will do! I love her!

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Most of the men in my social circle who are 30+ do not have kids. Its about 7 of them. I live in a big city so its easier to find a lot of 30+ men without kids because we're all chasing our careers first. Actually one of them just got engaged at 36. I never date men with kids and never have. If I lived in a small town then my options would be the opposite

Good point.

Everyone got kids in smaller towns. If you're 30+ without kids, you're odd. Heck, even my aunt's MIL told me a few weeks ago that I was gonna have geriatric babies. I'm 29.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

A lot of these men don't want to be tied down. Does that mean something is "wrong" with them? I don't know LOL! But I know quite a few older guys, well pedigreed, and will date casually, spend money, sex women, but they do not want to be committed. They may call it never finding the one, but black men in that position who are financially healthy have a lot of options they can and do exercise without the obligation of monogamy and commitment.

Hmmm, I don't count those if they're honest and upfront and consistent in saying they're not interested in commitment.

But the ones who are acting like they're waiting for a magical unicorn to appear, dangle commitment like a carrot, etc.... something wrong.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

Hmmm, I don't count those if they're honest and upfront and consistent in saying they're not interested in commitment.

But the ones who are acting like they're waiting for a magical unicorn to appear, dangle commitment like a carrot, etc.... something wrong.

Count them in what capacity?

I was responding to the why are these 40+ year old men single/no kids thing. The reason for quite a few could be, because they want to be!

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Count them in what capacity?

I was responding to the why are these 40+ year old men single/no kids thing. The reason for quite a few could be, because they want to be!

I meant, I don't count them amongst the "something is wrong with them" men. They're single because they're not looking for a marriageable woman. The "something is wrong" camp are supposedly looking but never finding.

 

[caribeandiva]

Most of the men in my social circle who are 30+ do not have kids. Its about 7 of them. I live in a big city so its easier to find a lot of 30+ men without kids because we're all chasing our careers first. Actually one of them just got engaged at 36. I never date men with kids and never have. If I lived in a small town then my options would be the opposite

I’m good. I live in a big city so I’ll be fine.

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

The only way I would date a man with kids if he was a widower. If I have to go outside of my race than so be it.

 

[momi]

Good point.

Everyone got kids in smaller towns. If you're 30+ without kids, you're odd. Heck, even my aunt's MIL told me a few weeks ago that I was gonna have geriatric babies. I'm 29.

I didn't realize men over 30 without offspring and that have never been married even existed. Thanks for enlightening me. Growing up men with this status were either gay or had commitment issues.

@OP just out of curiosity - would you consider a widower with kids?

 

[momi]

The only way I would date a man with kids if he was a widower. If I have to go outside of my race than so be it.

just seeing your post -

 

[intellectualuva]

A lot of these men don't want to be tied down. Does that mean something is "wrong" with them? I don't know LOL! But I know quite a few older guys, well pedigreed, and will date casually, spend money, sex women, but they do not want to be committed. They may call it never finding the one, but black men in that position who are financially healthy have a lot of options they can and do exercise without the obligation of monogamy and commitment.

Thats why my most recent ex and I aren't together and he has kids. He doesn't want to be tied down. My other ex has zero interest in having children or a relationship..he also has a small crayon, tho. He keeps women for months at a time, but then they fall off. I think hes ok with that for all sorts of reasons, 1 of which is he doesnt want to be tied down.

My childless friend and my childless cousins also don't want to be tied down. My cousins can't afford to tie anyone down anyway. I wouldn't wish them on any women unless you're just looking for a good time and dont mind paying 70% of the time. Ive talked about my childless friend here already, so I dont need to reiterate that.

 

[huxtable]

A lot of these men don't want to be tied down. Does that mean something is "wrong" with them? I don't know LOL! But I know quite a few older guys, well pedigreed, and will date casually, spend money, sex women, but they do not want to be committed. They may call it never finding the one, but black men in that position who are financially healthy have a lot of options they can and do exercise without the obligation of monogamy and commitment.

Soon as they get even the hint of a health issue those types will want a wife with a quickness though. Only want to share their life when there is not much life left. Don't mind me, I just feel like being sour LOL.

 

[caribeandiva]

OP just out of curiosity - would you consider a widower with kids?

I thought about it and nope. Dead wives tend to be saints who can do no wrong. Try to compete with that! Remember the Sex and the City episode when Charlotte dated a widower and how that didn’t work out? Nope.

 

[momi]

I thought about it and nope. Dead wives tend to be saints who can do no wrong. Try to compete with that! Remember the Sex and the City episode when Charlotte dated a widower and how that didn’t work out? Nope.

True - deceased wives do tend to be immortalized by the widower and children... unless she was just trash.

 

[hopeful]

I thought about it and nope. Dead wives tend to be saints who can do no wrong. Try to compete with that! Remember the Sex and the City episode when Charlotte dated a widower and how that didn’t work out? Nope.

That’s right you keep standing your ground . You said what you said .

 

[caribeandiva]

That’s right you keep standing your ground . You said what you said .

Yep

 

[shortycocoa]

Soon as they get even the hint of a health issue those types will want a wife with a quickness though. Only want to share their life when there is not much life left. Don't mind me, I just feel like being sour LOL.

But it's true, though...and even in that type of scenario, they still end up winning because they usually find some woman that just wants to be married.

Those dudes are married too.

And getting cheated on in droves, I would imagine. Either that or the women just suffer in silence. That's no way to live.

OP, get what you want and don't let anyone, man or woman, make you feel bad for your preferences. They're there for a reason, and the right man will meet your qualifications.

Dating men with children has never served me well, so looking back on it now I wish I had that level of discernment to not date men with kids. But, of course, hindsight is always 20/20.

This is a good thread!

 

[caribeandiva]

OP, get what you want and don't let anyone, man or woman, make you feel bad for your preferences. They're there for a reason, and the right man will meet your qualifications.

Dating men with children has never served me well, so looking back on it now I wish I had that level of discernment to not date men with kids. But, of course, hindsight is always 20/20.

This is a good thread!

Thank you! What has your experience been dating single fathers?

 

[Chromia]

I wouldn't date a man with kids either, for reasons mentioned in this thread.

Not interested in planning dates around a single dad's custody arrangement and waiting for an evening or weekend when he doesn't have his kid(s).

Not interested in spending my evening, my weekend, or a holiday with a man and his kid(s) or going with a man to his kid's recital, game, birthday party, etc.

Potential awkwardness or stress caused by interaction with the kids or their mother.

Or dealing with a widower's grief and memories.

I would feel so bad for the kids, packing & unpacking a suitcase to go back & forth between their parents' homes, having that family unit broken, probably wishing that their parents would get back together.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

If y’all meet any good guys with kids send them my way! I have one and don’t want anymore so I need one with his own.

 

[caribeandiva]

I wouldn't date a man with kids either, for reasons mentioned in this thread.

Not interested in planning dates around a single dad's custody arrangement and waiting for an evening or weekend when he doesn't have his kid(s).

Not interested in spending my evening, my weekend, or a holiday with a man and his kid(s) or going with a man to his kid's recital, game, birthday party, etc.

Potential awkwardness or stress caused by interaction with the kids or their mother.

Or dealing with a widower's grief and memories.

I would feel so bad for the kids, packing & unpacking a suitcase to go back & forth between their parents' homes, having that family unit broken, probably wishing that their parents would get back together.

EX-ACTLY!!!

 

[LiftedUp]

Men with kids are usually deal breakers, but life experiences have taught me to "never say never".

When I met my SO he asked me from the jump if I had kids. Usually I'm the one doing the asking lol. He told me that he has no interest in being a stepfather and purposely chose not to have children outside marriage. I told him likewise.

These men do exist, and for many, nothing is wrong with them.

 

[caribeandiva]

If y’all meet any good guys with kids send them my way! I have one and don’t want anymore so I need one with his own.

Will do! If I was a single mom I’d totally think like you.