How often do you say "no" to him?

shynessqueen said:
you and me both. I would ask him is out of his mind asking me for some while I'm in pain. MY SO knows if I become pregnant he can't get sex for almost a year.
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I hope you're joking.
 
MissScarlett said:
Go on whicha bad self:lachen: :lachen:

Do you think though that uhh men that aren't faithful were not being 'taken care of by a good woman' ????:cool:
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good point. i hear women all the time say "I do x,y,z because if I don't do it another woman will. But then later on the same woman will say oh my man cheated and I don't know why. I thought I was freaky enough":perplexed
 
locabouthair said:
good point. i hear women all the time say "I do x,y,z because if I don't do it another woman will. But then later on the same woman will say oh my man cheated and I don't know why. I thought I was freaky enough":perplexed
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Sex is important in a relationship but sex does not define the relationship or whether or not a person will cheat on you or no. I bet the freaky chicks get cheated on:lachen: too

I'm sure there are some good women out there that do everyrhing they can for their so/dh and they still cheat. Cheating is about being selfish, inconsiderate and disrespectful not about what wife/girlfriend wasn't doing.

Do people really believe that though??? I guess so.......:ohwell:
 
MissScarlett said:
Go on whicha bad self:lachen: :lachen:

Do you think though that uhh men that aren't faithful were not being 'taken care of by a good woman' ????:cool:
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Yeah....Good women that take care of their men get cheated on all the time....In alot of situations the mans cheating has nothing to do with what his woman is/is not doing to please him. They cheat because they want too and have the options available to them. Trust me some men will come up with all kinds of excuses to cheat on 'good women that takes care of them'. Some cheating men will tell their women how good they are to them and how they don't want/ or have to go to another women to be satisfied and all that.... and are cheating all along.
 
MissScarlett said:
Sex is important in a relationship but sex does not define the relationship or whether or not a person will cheat on you or no. I bet the freaky chicks get cheated on:lachen: too

I'm sure there are some good women out there that do everyrhing they can for their so/dh and they still cheat. Cheating is about being selfish, inconsiderate and disrespectful not about what wife/girlfriend wasn't doing.

Do people really believe that though??? I guess so.......:ohwell:
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Thank you.
 
zora said:
I hope you're joking.
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No, I'm not joking. I have a weak cervix and if we have sex while I'm pregnant I will lose the baby. I also have to have a C -section. I"m not having sex with him while I have a big hole in my tummy.


He Knows No sex for almost a year. There are other ways to please you man besides having sex. :cool:
 
shynessqueen said:
No, I'm not joking. I have a weak cervix and if we have sex while I'm pregnant I will lose the baby. I also have to have a C -section. I"m not having sex with him while I have a big hole in my tummy.


He Knows No sex for almost a year. There are other ways to please you man besides having sex. :cool:
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oh ok the cervix thing I understand.

For real though, I've had two c/s. But what big hole? Girl you know they stitch that incision back up :lol: its closed by the time you get home practically.

Dh and I probably have sex 6-8 weeks after the c/s. He also has a 'theory' that if you have a c/s, your hooha is has not been compromised and can thus have sex sooner...obviously he never got to test his theory out:grin:
 
MissScarlett said:
Go on whicha bad self:lachen: :lachen:

Do you think though that uhh men that aren't faithful were not being 'taken care of by a good woman' ????:cool:
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People cheat not just men. I know women who have never been faithful to their husbands/SO's and I know women whose husbands have cheated on them for sexual reasons and non sexual reasons. Believe it or not more non sexual than sexual reasons. My SO was completely faithful to his ex-wife and she cheated on him because his work took him from home. He wanted to surprise her by coming home early from an out of town trip and actually caught the man coming out of his bedroom.So this may have contributed to his unfaithful stint.I have learned over the years to find out what satisfies my man personally and to see if I am the woman that can give him that. I've been quick to tell a man I'm sorry but I'm not the woman for you. I can't give you what you need to be happy in a relationship.It's not a sexual thing its a personal thing. The topic at hand just happens to be about sex.
 
MissScarlett said:
oh ok the cervix thing I understand.

For real though, I've had two c/s. But what big hole? Girl you know they stitch that incision back up :lol: its closed by the time you get home practically.

Dh and I probably have sex 6-8 weeks after the c/s. He also has a 'theory' that if you have a c/s, your hooha is has not been compromised and can thus have sex sooner...obviously he never got to test his theory out:grin:
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My fist c-section didn't heal right and had to be reopen. It had to heal from the inside out. I was walking around with a big hole in My tummy. I had to clean it ever day. It took a month for it to close.
 
shynessqueen said:
My fist c-section didn't heal right and had to be reopen. It had to heal from the inside out. I was walking around with a big hole in My tummy. I had to clean it ever day. It took a month for it to close.
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YIKES:eek: sorry I stand corrected.

ok then I know your dh is happy with the alternative then:cool:
 
MissScarlett said:
I wonder WHY they like that so much;) Cause I don't want to get just "hooked up" with nothing else:look: ....but dh will take that in a minute:lol:
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I think it has something to do with looking down and seeing everything. They don't have to wonder what it's doing, they can see it. Maybe BMWSS can come in a answer this question. :D Or any other male on this board.
 
camellia said:
I turn him down every once in awhile. Sometimes I'm exhausted, in a hurry to go somewhere, annoyed with him, or I just want to take my bath in peace.

DH has turned me down exactly once. That was the day after his vasectomy.:lol:
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Girl - let the poor man heal!:D
 
MissScarlett said:
Twice a month dh and I go and get a hotel room, its so fun and relaxing. I got that idea from Holly robinson, they do that. Its not even about sex, just a way to reconnect, kick back and just be together..alone.
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This sounds like a great idea if you have kids- a great way to reconnect and to go about it without worrying whose listening, who needs a drink of water, or who may try to pop in saying "I can't sleep" at the wrong time:lol:
 
MissScarlett said:
Go on whicha bad self:lachen: :lachen:

Do you think though that uhh men that aren't faithful were not being 'taken care of by a good woman' ????:cool:
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Yeahhh. A man who expects to get sex anytime he feels, rgardless of how the woman feels is one who thinks he's entitled to get it from anyone.
I've known women who said they took care of their man every damn day, either by sex or oral or by hand- but they take care of them and STILL ended up crying because that "man" passed on some disease.:ohwell:
A man doesn't cheat because he doesn't have a good woman who allows herself to be a sex tool for him on demand, a man cheats because he's a piece of sh*t who thinks women are for that purpose- to please him when he wants it.
 
ella said:
I'm right with you Sista,I can count on one hand how many times I turned him down.
I on the other hand have been turned down quite often from him.
The rumor that men want sex all the time is def. not true cuz I'm ready to go 99% of the time and in none of my prior experiences could any man keep up with me.:perplexed
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I've had this problem too. :( I'd be like what you mean you're tired?!?! :mad:
 
LaRobinWolfe76 said:
Ladies there's an all natural lubricant that feels like silk and is safe for condoms and the name of it is FireFly.www.fireflylubricant.com

I have never, ever turned my SO down even when I had just been discharged from the ER,vomitting with the stomach flu, even when I'm tired, even when he's woke me up at 1,2,3 or even 4 in the morning and I had to be up at 5:30, even when I'm getting dressed for work. I'm always willing, ready and waiting and all my girlfriends want to know why I get a proposal from the man I'm dating within the first 3 months of our relationship. My SO said he's had a lot of women but he has never had a woman who is always ready and never says no and because he is so masculine it makes him feel like "the man". He says I'm the first woman other than his ex-wife that he's been faithful to and he said he was only faithful to her because of the vows but with me it's because he gets everything he needs from me and doesn't have to look anywhere else for satisfaction and he's never met a woman like that. I've always been a pleaser. I just love going out of my way to please my man. He says I have him so spoiled that he just has to marry me. Also, he's never said no to me either and it's never a quickie with us its always 1-3 hours at any given time but I do remember him telling me when we first met that he didn't have a high sex drive and wasn't going to be lasting no 3 hours and doing it everyday and he was also taking enhancers but since he's been with me its been 3 hours 90% of the time and when we're home all day together its 3-4 times that day and its everyday with no enhancers!
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Oh yeah, this sounds like me. I never turned my ex-husband down. He knew he could get it whenever, wherever and however he wanted, as much as he wanted it. He could wake me up in the middle of the night, I would do it if I was sick, it didn't matter how tired I was. If he wanted to try something adventurous, I was down. And I got a proposal in less than 2 months. When I had my hysterectomy, I couldn't do it, but I satisfied him in other ways. It's funny, he said those same things to me in the beginning. "P, you are so perfect for me. I never knew anybody else like you. I never experienced love making like this before. You're the only woman I have truly trusted."... LIES, LIES, LIES..... 1-2 hours of sex eventually turned into 1-2 minutes. Even though I did all of this, he still CHEATED!!!! He didn't cheat b/c he wasn't getting what he needed at home. He cheated because he was DOG.
 
Mrs_No_More said:
Oh yeah, this sounds like me. I never turned my ex-husband down. He knew he could get it whenever, wherever and however he wanted, as much as he wanted it. He could wake me up in the middle of the night, I would do it if I was sick, it didn't matter how tired I was. If he wanted to try something adventurous, I was down. And I got a proposal in less than 2 months. When I had my hysterectomy, I couldn't do it, but I satisfied him in other ways. It's funny, he said those same things to me in the beginning. "P, you are so perfect for me. I never knew anybody else like you. I never experienced love making like this before. You're the only woman I have truly trusted."... LIES, LIES, LIES..... 1-2 hours of sex eventually turned into 1-2 minutes. Even though I did all of this, he still CHEATED!!!! He didn't cheat b/c he wasn't getting what he needed at home. He cheated because he was DOG.
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And there you have it!
 
Mrs_No_More said:
Oh yeah, this sounds like me. I never turned my ex-husband down. He knew he could get it whenever, wherever and however he wanted, as much as he wanted it. He could wake me up in the middle of the night, I would do it if I was sick, it didn't matter how tired I was. If he wanted to try something adventurous, I was down. And I got a proposal in less than 2 months. When I had my hysterectomy, I couldn't do it, but I satisfied him in other ways. It's funny, he said those same things to me in the beginning. "P, you are so perfect for me. I never knew anybody else like you. I never experienced love making like this before. You're the only woman I have truly trusted."... LIES, LIES, LIES..... 1-2 hours of sex eventually turned into 1-2 minutes. Even though I did all of this, he still CHEATED!!!! He didn't cheat b/c he wasn't getting what he needed at home. He cheated because he was DOG.
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thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
ella said:
I'm right with you Sista,I can count on one hand how many times I turned him down.
I on the other hand have been turned down quite often from him.
The rumor that men want sex all the time is def. not true cuz I'm ready to go 99% of the time and in none of my prior experiences could any man keep up with me.:perplexed
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It sure isn't. I'm the "asker" and sexual aggressor in my marriage and it SUCKS! It makes me feel like something is wrong with me because this is supposed to be a man problem, then he ends up feeling "less of a man" because he can't keep up with me.:ohwell: It's a point of stress for us. So many ladies are able to turn down their mates, and that's a phenomenon I've never really had the pleasure of experiencing. I ain't gone lie, I'm jealous. :lol: I wanna be in the freakin' driver seat calling the shots sometime sheesh. It's like everything revolves around his schedule, I just have to be lucky enough to catch him at a "good" time.

So I guess, I can more relate to how the man must feel in this situation, because it sure isn't fun being told no. Honestly, I feel rejected and hurt a lot of the time. I'm facing the harsh reality of what happens when a married couples' libidos do not match. I know I can't expect my husband to swing from the chandeliers and go caveman on me every night, but I feel like he led me on while we were dating.:look: I was expecting marriage to be nights of endless passion with a constant supply of loving on tap. Yeah right. He lured me in and then started chilling. :lol: I'm learning the true meaning of quality over quantity, and not by choice.
 
Sistaslick & ella, if I could harness my SO's libido and put it in a bottle, I'd ship some to y'all. This man will not leave me alone! It's nice to be "wanted" and everything, but damn!:lol:
 
preciousjewel76 said:
Sistaslick & ella, if I could harness my SO's libido and put it in a bottle, I'd ship some to y'all. This man will not leave me alone! It's nice to be "wanted" and everything, but damn!:lol:
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lol send me some too! I'm in the same boat. :look:
 
preciousjewel76 said:
Sistaslick & ella, if I could harness my SO's libido and put it in a bottle, I'd ship some to y'all. This man will not leave me alone! It's nice to be "wanted" and everything, but damn!:lol:
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how old is your so? I thought dh would slow down as he got older:ohwell: no such luck. He's 38.
 
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