How often do you say "no" to him?

StrawberryQueen said:
Uh, I agree. If a woman doesn't want to have sex, she should be able to say NO without bringing religion into it. Turning down your husband doesn't make you a bad wife or a bad Christian-it makes you human.

I wonder about those who NEVER turn down thier husbands.

And say NO once is awhile is not going to drive him to porn. He was either always watching it and you just found out, or there's another problem. No man is going to develop a porn addiction because his wife turns him down for sex.

I mean damn, the last time I checked women weren't considered property. :confused: I can do any say and behave how I want. If I don't want sex when he does, IT'S ALL RIGHT. And for anyone who thinks that's going to lead to divorce, well I'll just sit and wait until I see the "I'm Getting a Divorce" thread from you. That's such an backwards way of thinking.

If a man married you JUST to have sex with you, thats a problem in itself.


:weird: :weird: I just wanted to use that smilie.

I agree with you!
 
StrawberryQueen said:
Uh, I agree. If a woman doesn't want to have sex, she should be able to say NO without bringing religion into it. Turning down your husband doesn't make you a bad wife or a bad Christian-it makes you human.

I wonder about those who NEVER turn down thier husbands.

And say NO once is awhile is not going to drive him to porn. He was either always watching it and you just found out, or there's another problem. No man is going to develop a porn addiction because his wife turns him down for sex.

I mean damn, the last time I checked women weren't considered property. :confused: I can do any say and behave how I want. If I don't want sex when he does, IT'S ALL RIGHT. And for anyone who thinks that's going to lead to divorce, well I'll just sit and wait until I see the "I'm Getting a Divorce" thread from you. That's such an backwards way of thinking.

If a man married you JUST to have sex with you, thats a problem in itself.

SQ, for the win!:D :D
 
FlowerHair said:
So you are saying that a man who sleeps with whores has it better than his ex-wife who is rid of him :confused:

Don't you think sex with a whore is a "mercy romp" too? As if she would do it without the money?

Why would anyone want to be married to someone just for the sex, that doesn't make sense. I always say, sex is easy to get - easy - a real relationship doesn't grow on trees!

A marriage that is wide open because there is no sex on demand is not really a marriage IMO.

Sure, sex should be a priority for both the woman and the man, but like Ella and several others have said before in this thread it's not always the woman who says "no thank you, not tonight". :lol:

Wait, ok, SQ and FH tied for the win!:lol:

I'm so glad my dh didn't divorce me or turn to hookers when I was on bedrest during my pregnancy. :cool:
 
lauren450 said:
Wait, ok, SQ and FH tied for the win!:lol:

I'm so glad my dh didn't divorce me or turn to hookers when I was on bedrest during my pregnancy. :cool:

That's what I'm saying too, people get sick or even injured, depressed etc when they can't have sex.

In fact, most men like it if you turn them down every once in a while ;)
It seems to turn them on even more when they can "win" you over heehee
 
FlowerHair said:
That's what I'm saying too, people get sick or even injured, depressed etc when they can't have sex.

In fact, most men like it if you turn them down every once in a while ;)
It seems to turn them on even more when they can "win" you over heehee

I was thinking that while reading some of these posts. I would get tired QUICK of someone dropping their drawls just cause I say so. Its a known fact men like the chase.
 
Glamourous said:
I was thinking that while reading some of these posts. I would get tired QUICK of someone dropping their drawls just cause I say so. Its a known fact men like the chase.

Absolutely. Sometimes the seduction is the sexiest part. It's hard work turning a "no" into a "yes", but when they do it, they feel like they conquered something, and we all KNOW men love that.:lol:
 
StrawberryQueen said:
Uh, I agree. If a woman doesn't want to have sex, she should be able to say NO without bringing religion into it. Turning down your husband doesn't make you a bad wife or a bad Christian-it makes you human.

I wonder about those who NEVER turn down thier husbands.

And say NO once is awhile is not going to drive him to porn. He was either always watching it and you just found out, or there's another problem. No man is going to develop a porn addiction because his wife turns him down for sex.

I mean damn, the last time I checked women weren't considered property. :confused: I can do any say and behave how I want. If I don't want sex when he does, IT'S ALL RIGHT. And for anyone who thinks that's going to lead to divorce, well I'll just sit and wait until I see the "I'm Getting a Divorce" thread from you. That's such an backwards way of thinking.

If a man married you JUST to have sex with you, thats a problem in itself.

Maybe they're just horny SQ okayyy?Maybe there treasuring the moment WHEN they get some.
:mad:

J/K:lol:
IDK what's going on.
And having your DH watching some porn ain't that bad,maybe he can learn some moves;)
 
ella said:
Maybe they're just horny SQ okayyy?Maybe there treasuring the moment WHEN they get some.
:mad:

J/K:lol:
IDK what's going on.
And having your DH watching some porn ain't that bad,maybe he can learn some moves;)
:lachen: :lachen: Sex Queen Ella!
 
I am always in the mood and if for any reason (usually mentally) I am not in the mood, just getting there in my mind turns me on and I get into it. My sex drive has always been higher than that of my partners (two 4-year relationships and a "good friend"). I LOVE sex and anything sex related ;) . I want it always - even when I'm mad, tired, sick (I've had sex with strep throat and a mask on my face), sleepy, depressed, or when ever. I only have a 3-day period, 4 times per year (thanks Seasonale) so that is never an issue. Plus, my guy doesn't mind that (TMI).

ETA: Now that I think about it, I've had a couple of killer migraines that had me out of commission for a minute but best believe when I felt better I made up for it.

Also, I think doing "it" just to be doing "it" is worse than saying no. If you're not enjoing yourself, then what's the point. If the session starts off that way, change your mindset and try your best to get into it to make it an enjoyable experience for both parties. Sex is so mental for me that it's not even funny. I've heard about women who just lay there and I'll never understand that. But we all are so different so who am I to judge?
 
Sistaslick said:
It sure isn't. I'm the "asker" and sexual aggressor in my marriage and it SUCKS! It makes me feel like something is wrong with me because this is supposed to be a man problem, then he ends up feeling "less of a man" because he can't keep up with me.:ohwell: It's a point of stress for us. So many ladies are able to turn down their mates, and that's a phenomenon I've never really had the pleasure of experiencing. I ain't gone lie, I'm jealous. :lol: I wanna be in the freakin' driver seat calling the shots sometime sheesh. It's like everything revolves around his schedule, I just have to be lucky enough to catch him at a "good" time.

So I guess, I can more relate to how the man must feel in this situation, because it sure isn't fun being told no. Honestly, I feel rejected and hurt a lot of the time. I'm facing the harsh reality of what happens when a married couples' libidos do not match. I know I can't expect my husband to swing from the chandeliers and go caveman on me every night, but I feel like he led me on while we were dating.:look: I was expecting marriage to be nights of endless passion with a constant supply of loving on tap. Yeah right. He lured me in and then started chilling. :lol: I'm learning the true meaning of quality over quantity, and not by choice.

That's how I feel, and we aren't even married.:ohwell:
 
Attention: FLOWERGIRL: Thank you for the question and I will be as specific as possible. Note: Some of my answers are given directly in the BLUE PART OF THIS POST AND THE REMAINDER IS IN THE BOTTOM OF THE POST.


FlowerHair said:
So you are saying that a man who sleeps with whores has it better than his ex-wife who is rid of him :confused:

Don't you think sex with a whore is a "mercy romp" too? As if she would do it without the money?

Why would anyone want to be married to someone just for the sex, that doesn't make sense. I always say, sex is easy to get - easy - a real relationship doesn't grow on trees!

A marriage that is wide open because there is no sex on demand is not really a marriage IMO.

Sure, sex should be a priority for both the woman and the man, but like Ella and several others have said before in this thread it's not always the woman who says "no thank you, not tonight". :lol:

FlowerHair said:
So you are saying that a man who sleeps with whores has it better than his ex-wife who is rid of him : No. Not better. But in that department he may feel "better off".

Don't you think sex with a whore is a "mercy romp" too? As if she would do it without the money? For him or the whore? Cause it costs to get it from the whore as we know. He just doesn't have to beg or feel humiliated or rejected. He is paying for a service to fill that need, period. Everything else he may have been getting from his wife.

Why would anyone want to be married to someone just for the sex, that doesn't make sense. I always say, sex is easy to get - easy - a real relationship doesn't grow on trees! I think that it is clearly understood by most that women want a committed relationship and men do not like to share their women and vice versa. So, it your mate is the only person that he or you are supposed to be getting it from, I am saying that Sex should never be used as a "power play tool"...to punish or reward....to control or to manipulate or to put someone in their place...or to use SEX to even old scores sometimes with people THAT ARE NO LONGER IN THE PICTURE. Some ladies are reacting to things that are a result of hurtful relationships or absentee fathers, being taught unhealthy belief systems from grandmothers and mothers, information from "girlfriends" that put their 2 cents in about how to "handle men"....not dealing with other areas in the marriage that are impacting on the relationship where the man is NOT LISTENING and the wife ends up feeling that in the SEX area is the only place she has a voice, even though it may be silent or any power at all, even though it may may become a vicious circle.
A marriage that is wide open because there is no sex on demand is not really a marriage IMO. Sex should not be DEMANDED. My comments do not apply to "in times of sickness and ill health, or during and after pregnancy or if the man is being abusive verbally or physically or emotionally by playing mind games. He could be using "demanding sex" in those instances (sometimes as an excuse and a coverup) and that is definitely wrong! However, when none of of these scenarios is the case, and the woman does it for the specific reasons I have already addressed, she is playing with fire.

Sure, sex should be a priority for both the woman and the man, but like Ella and several others have said before in this thread it's not always the woman who says "no thank you, not tonight". :lol:
I think that men who do this to their wives for other than illness and the same unreasonable reasons, could end up in the EX HUSBANDS CLUB! To me that is sending a message to the wife..."I took you out of circulation...I have you where I want you and now that you have a ring on your finger...you need to just wait until I decide you can have it...and that is one example of a "power play", and his behind could reap some shocks!

I will only reply to what is directed specifically to me: Thank you for the questions: Since the thread was about women saying "no" to men, that is what I focused on mainly. I would assume that this reply will clarify any other questions that my post may have raised. Again, thank you for the question and not attacking me personally.
 
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StrawberryQueen said:
Uh, I agree. If a woman doesn't want to have sex, she should be able to say NO without bringing religion into it. Turning down your husband doesn't make you a bad wife or a bad Christian-it makes you human.

I wonder about those who NEVER turn down thier husbands.

And say NO once is awhile is not going to drive him to porn. He was either always watching it and you just found out, or there's another problem. No man is going to develop a porn addiction because his wife turns him down for sex.

I mean damn, the last time I checked women weren't considered property. :confused: I can do any say and behave how I want. If I don't want sex when he does, IT'S ALL RIGHT. And for anyone who thinks that's going to lead to divorce, well I'll just sit and wait until I see the "I'm Getting a Divorce" thread from you. That's such an backwards way of thinking.

If a man married you JUST to have sex with you, thats a problem in itself.



Say it again . ITA. :cool:
 
Well, I'm divorced now... But I never really had to say no, because he was not a very sexual person to begin with so sex was never "regular", even when we dated... Sex always just kinda "happened" once in a blue moon.

BUT in my best and most memorable relationship, I never said no because it was WAY too good, and I looked forward to it! It was so good, I swear our souls were doing it too!!!
 
NoNapNique said:
Well, I'm divorced now... But I never really had to say no, because he was not a very sexual person to begin with so sex was never "regular", even when we dated... Sex always just kinda "happened" once in a blue moon.

BUT in my best and most memorable relationship, I never said no because it was WAY too good, and I looked forward to it! It was so good, I swear our souls were doing it too!!!

Oh way..............clutching pearls.
 
NoNapNique said:
BUT in my best and most memorable relationship, I never said no because it was WAY too good, and I looked forward to it! It was so good, I swear our souls were doing it too!!!
.

Girl shut yo mouth!!:eek:

I'm going back over to the fantasy thread......:look:
 
NoNapNique said:
Well, I'm divorced now... But I never really had to say no, because he was not a very sexual person to begin with so sex was never "regular", even when we dated... Sex always just kinda "happened" once in a blue moon.

BUT in my best and most memorable relationship, I never said no because it was WAY too good, and I looked forward to it! It was so good, I swear our souls were doing it too!!!
Now thats what Im talking about :love:
 
i have said no to hubby and he has said no to me. life happens. we used to be like rabbits now we have 2 boys and jobs and get tired and what not. we are still happy though.
 
I ususally turn him down when I'm really tired. And also for me it's really difficult for me because of my level of comfort. We both still live at home, so sex for us is especially hard. I just feel sooo weird having sex when people are home. He of course doesn't mind but I do..and he's aware of this. We are together 3 years and I just can't help it. Now he finally understands. Before it wasn't much of an issue because people weren't usually home and we usually had the place to ourselves. Now unfortunately not so much. He is now very motivated to get his own place because of this..lol
 
bluebearfanatic said:
I ususally turn him down when I'm really tired. And also for me it's really difficult for me because of my level of comfort. We both still live at home, so sex for us is especially hard. I just feel sooo weird having sex when people are home. He of course doesn't mind but I do..and he's aware of this. We are together 3 years and I just can't help it. Now he finally understands. Before it wasn't much of an issue because people weren't usually home and we usually had the place to ourselves. Now unfortunately not so much. He is now very motivated to get his own place because of this..lol


I alway thought good sex was a motivator.
 
NoNapNique said:
Well, I'm divorced now... But I never really had to say no, because he was not a very sexual person to begin with so sex was never "regular", even when we dated... Sex always just kinda "happened" once in a blue moon.

BUT in my best and most memorable relationship, I never said no because it was WAY too good, and I looked forward to it! It was so good, I swear our souls were doing it too!!![/quote]

That's what I'm talking about......:lachen: :lachen:
 
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