How often do you say "no" to him?

[StrawberryQueen]

yeah ummm her post kinda put me off....

Uh me too. But if all parties are happy, go for it.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Uh me too. But if all parties are happy, go for it.

Can you really be happy when someone is plugging you while you have a physical ache/pain/ailment? Seriously?

Are you ladies afraid he will cheat if you just say no? I can see not making it a habit, but what's wrong with no if your body is in pain?

 

[Mortons]

right? going by this a few of us should have been married a lonnnnnnnngg time ago

So giving up the goodies is the best option? Dang let me go call Derick.........I mean let me go to the store. Yeah thats it, for some pineapples.

 

[camellia]

Can you really be happy when someone is plugging you while you have a physical ache/pain/ailment? Seriously?

Are you ladies afraid he will cheat if you just say no? I can see not making it a habit, but what's wrong with no if your body is in pain?

I can't. But then, I'm a bad wife, who obviously doesn't love her husband and who says no for much more trivial reasons.

If I'm throwing up, in pain, etc... sex is not on my mind, and no amount of sulking or unhappiness from him is going to turn me on. That's when I direct him to a "home movie", a magazine, the internet, and his own hand.

 

[StrawberryQueen]

I can't. But then, I'm a bad wife, who obviously doesn't love her husband and who says no for much more trivial reasons.

If I'm throwing up, in pain, etc... sex is not on my mind, and no amount of sulking or unhappiness from him is going to turn me on. That's when I direct him to a "home movie", a magazine, the internet, and his own hand.

What a bad wife you are! You need a spanking! But some of yall are soliders.

I'm not married, but I'm still not gonna have sex when I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. And I'll be damned if he makes me feel bad about that. I'm stilla grown *** woman, I can say no and it should be alright.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I can't. But then, I'm a bad wife, who obviously doesn't love her husband and who says no for much more trivial reasons.

If I'm throwing up, in pain, etc... sex is not on my mind, and no amount of sulking or unhappiness from him is going to turn me on. That's when I direct him to a "home movie", a magazine, the internet, and his own hand.

LMAO!!! Your not a bad wife.

Now LHCF got the ride (literally )or die chicks !

 

[Dee-Licious]

LMAO!!! Your not a bad wife.

Now LHCF got the ride (literally )or die chicks !

 

[Hidden_Angel]

Uh........Ya nomally i dont read long messages but that one kinna threw me for a loop ..........
sick and vomiting?

 

[Mortons]

Uh........Ya nomally i dont read long messages but that one kinna threw me for a loop ..........
sick and vomiting?

I dont want to start anything, but I would consider my man disrespectful if he asked me something like that when I am sick.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

Uh........Ya nomally i dont read long messages but that one kinna threw me for a loop ..........
sick and vomiting?

You betta' clean that vomit up, what if your man comes a knocking?

 

[Hidden_Angel]

You betta' clean that vomit up, what if your man comes a knocking?

Old boy better keep it moving, No homie i aint Wal-mart I'm not open for service 24/7 better keep it moving. Jeezus...

I'm a select high end store! I have no problem getting down in the nitty gritty but um.. on my OWN time

 

[mermaid]

Wow! That's dedication! But, didn't he see that you were sick? I'd be kind of upset if I were that ill and my husband was still looking for some. Can't compare what it's like before marriage to after, but I do know that with pregnancy, sometimes, I just don't feel like it and he's always considerate enough to see that and grateful for the times that I'm ready to jump him. Before pregnancy, I'd only give him a raincheck due to sheer exhaustion or time of the month- he's never asked when i've been sick and I don't ask when he's sick/exhausted either. Like some of the other posters said, I really like to enjoy it and sometimes just can't if I'm feeling crummy and know that it would be much better later.

Girl, for real.
a man like that doesn't have sex with someone he loves, it's just place to put it- a hole to plug.
There is no respect in that kind of relationship, non from him and no self respect from a woman who allows herself to be demeaned into sex.

 

[PinkPeony]

Never!!! I've never turned my husband down ever. Don't plan to either. My hubby has the tendency to wake up at times like 3:51 am and 4:26 am too. Wake me up, shooooo


Now, on the other hand, I've been turned down more times than I can even count in this almost 5 years of marriage. I'm just easily excitable I guess. Sometimes it just feels like he is just there to knock the chill out of my sheets He is so lazy. I'm always waiting on him. Maybe it's because of the age difference or something because he slowin' down...

I'm right with you Sista,I can count on one hand how many times I turned him down.
I on the other hand have been turned down quite often from him.
The rumor that men want sex all the time is def. not true cuz I'm ready to go 99% of the time and in none of my prior experiences could any man keep up with me.erplexed

However on those rare occasions when I'm not in the mood I have no qualms about turning him down?
Why would I?
He doesn't own me nor pays me for sex so as long as we have healthy relations I don't feel bad.
I don't think I could let him just take me*well I could but of course this would be part of my plan * but if I REALLY don't want to he has no business messing around with me.

 

[Arcadian]

I have never, ever turned my SO down even when I had just been discharged from the ER,vomitting with the stomach flu, even when I'm tired, even when he's woke me up at 1,2,3 or even 4 in the morning and I had to be up at 5:30, even when I'm getting dressed for work. I'm always willing, ready and waiting and all my girlfriends want to know why I get a proposal from the man I'm dating within the first 3 months of our relationship. My SO said he's had a lot of women but he has never had a woman who is always ready and never says no and because he is so masculine it makes him feel like "the man". He says I'm the first woman other than his ex-wife that he's been faithful to and he said he was only faithful to her because of the vows but with me it's because he gets everything he needs from me and doesn't have to look anywhere else for satisfaction and he's never met a woman like that. I've always been a pleaser. I just love going out of my way to please my man. He says I have him so spoiled that he just has to marry me. Also, he's never said no to me either and it's never a quickie with us its always 1-3 hours at any given time but I do remember him telling me when we first met that he didn't have a high sex drive and wasn't going to be lasting no 3 hours and doing it everyday and he was also taking enhancers but since he's been with me its been 3 hours 90% of the time and when we're home all day together its 3-4 times that day and its everyday with no enhancers!

IMO, there's something not quite right when a man says he's being faithful to you because you just giving up the cookie whenever he wants it. erplexed Sounds like he uses you like he would a toilet.

But hey, if you like it then ok! I really hope things work out between you!

Wow! That's dedication! But, didn't he see that you were sick? I'd be kind of upset if I were that ill and my husband was still looking for some. Can't compare what it's like before marriage to after, but I do know that with pregnancy, sometimes, I just don't feel like it and he's always considerate enough to see that and grateful for the times that I'm ready to jump him. Before pregnancy, I'd only give him a raincheck due to sheer exhaustion or time of the month- he's never asked when i've been sick and I don't ask when he's sick/exhausted either. Like some of the other posters said, I really like to enjoy it and sometimes just can't if I'm feeling crummy and know that it would be much better later.

I know thats right.

If I'm sick, too tired, too stressed, SO knows that is just not the time. He can go look at porn and visit rosie, its all good.

The sex is great but he won't turn down cuddles if thats all he can get. If I'm in pain or sick, the last thing on his mind is sex. He just drives me crazy asking me what he can do for me to feel better.


-A

 

[FlowerHair]

Ladies there's an all natural lubricant that feels like silk and is safe for condoms and the name of it is FireFly.www.fireflylubricant.com

I have never, ever turned my SO down even when I had just been discharged from the ER,vomitting with the stomach flu, even when I'm tired, even when he's woke me up at 1,2,3 or even 4 in the morning and I had to be up at 5:30, even when I'm getting dressed for work. I'm always willing, ready and waiting and all my girlfriends want to know why I get a proposal from the man I'm dating within the first 3 months of our relationship. My SO said he's had a lot of women but he has never had a woman who is always ready and never says no and because he is so masculine it makes him feel like "the man". He says I'm the first woman other than his ex-wife that he's been faithful to and he said he was only faithful to her because of the vows but with me it's because he gets everything he needs from me and doesn't have to look anywhere else for satisfaction and he's never met a woman like that. I've always been a pleaser. I just love going out of my way to please my man. He says I have him so spoiled that he just has to marry me. Also, he's never said no to me either and it's never a quickie with us its always 1-3 hours at any given time but I do remember him telling me when we first met that he didn't have a high sex drive and wasn't going to be lasting no 3 hours and doing it everyday and he was also taking enhancers but since he's been with me its been 3 hours 90% of the time and when we're home all day together its 3-4 times that day and its everyday with no enhancers!

I'm sorry, but I know you love to please as you said in your post, but this is kinda common in the beginning of a love affair. Is it realistic to spend 4 x 1-3 hours every day having sex? I'm just asking.
I congratulate the both of you if you are happy with your relationship, but I just don't see this working for me.

I have a high sex drive, but 3-4 hours to 12 hours a day?? No way I could do that!

I think you should sit down and think long and hard about the message you are sending to your SO. That you are willing to risk your health to have sex with him for up to 12 hours a day. That he is thus worth more than yourself, to you. I almost feel sorry for you

 

[FlowerHair]

I'm right with you Sista,I can count on one hand how many times I turned him down.
I on the other hand have been turned down quite often from him.
The rumor that men want sex all the time is def. not true cuz I'm ready to go 99% of the time and in none of my prior experiences could any man keep up with me.erplexed

However on those rare occasions when I'm not in the mood I have no qualms about turning him down?
Why would I?
He doesn't own me nor pays me for sex so as long as we have healthy relations I don't feel bad.
I don't think I could let him just take me*well I could but of course this would be part of my plan * but if I REALLY don't want to he has no business messing around with me.

I agree with the bolded
Ella, I'm the same way

 

[PinkPeony]

I agree with the bolded
Ella, I'm the same way

Lol then it's two or three if we count Sista

 

[lexi08]

Ladies there's an all natural lubricant that feels like silk and is safe for condoms and the name of it is FireFly.www.fireflylubricant.com

I have never, ever turned my SO down even when I had just been discharged from the ER,vomitting with the stomach flu, even when I'm tired, even when he's woke me up at 1,2,3 or even 4 in the morning and I had to be up at 5:30, even when I'm getting dressed for work. I'm always willing, ready and waiting and all my girlfriends want to know why I get a proposal from the man I'm dating within the first 3 months of our relationship. My SO said he's had a lot of women but he has never had a woman who is always ready and never says no and because he is so masculine it makes him feel like "the man". He says I'm the first woman other than his ex-wife that he's been faithful to and he said he was only faithful to her because of the vows but with me it's because he gets everything he needs from me and doesn't have to look anywhere else for satisfaction and he's never met a woman like that. I've always been a pleaser. I just love going out of my way to please my man. He says I have him so spoiled that he just has to marry me. Also, he's never said no to me either and it's never a quickie with us its always 1-3 hours at any given time but I do remember him telling me when we first met that he didn't have a high sex drive and wasn't going to be lasting no 3 hours and doing it everyday and he was also taking enhancers but since he's been with me its been 3 hours 90% of the time and when we're home all day together its 3-4 times that day and its everyday with no enhancers!

I don't want to seem mean but wow, I feel bad for you A man who would want sex while you were obviously sick is selfish and disrespectful IMO. But hey if it works for you......

ETA: thanks for posting the link about the lubricant. I am going to order this product, it does not seem to have any suspect ingriedients.

 

[N.P.R. Addict]

I can't. But then, I'm a bad wife, who obviously doesn't love her husband and who says no for much more trivial reasons.

If I'm throwing up, in pain, etc... sex is not on my mind, and no amount of sulking or unhappiness from him is going to turn me on. That's when I direct him to a "home movie", a magazine, the internet, and his own hand.

An even bigger question would be How can a man enjoy it when you are sick and hurling all over the place. He'll be singing Tupac "Baby keep your head up (and I mean it)."

 

[dlewis]

This has to be the first I've heard of someone getting a proposal becase they keep giving it up.

I second that.

 

[dlewis]

LMAO!!! Your not a bad wife.

Now LHCF got the ride (literally )or die chicks !

 

[shynessqueen]

I dont want to start anything, but I would consider my man disrespectful if he asked me something like that when I am sick.

you and me both. I would ask him is out of his mind asking me for some while I'm in pain. MY SO knows if I become pregnant he can't get sex for almost a year.

 

[MissScarlett]

I can't. But then, I'm a bad wife, who obviously doesn't love her husband and who says no for much more trivial reasons.

If I'm throwing up, in pain, etc... sex is not on my mind, and no amount of sulking or unhappiness from him is going to turn me on. That's when I direct him to a "home movie", a magazine, the internet, and his own hand.

See this is where porn comes in 'handy' no pun intended

Luckily I don't even have to turn dh down, b/c sometimes he aint even asking , he just wants to take care of it himself and not put in any work

 

[shynessqueen]

See this is where porn comes in 'handy' no pun intended

Luckily I don't even have to turn dh down, b/c sometimes he aint even asking , he just wants to take care of it himself and not put in any work

Lucky you. If my SO could get it 3 times a day he would. I keep telling him I'm not 17 anymore.

 

[MissScarlett]

Ladies there's an all natural lubricant that feels like silk and is safe for condoms and the name of it is FireFly.www.fireflylubricant.com

I have never, ever turned my SO down even when I had just been discharged from the ER,vomitting with the stomach flu, even when I'm tired, even when he's woke me up at 1,2,3 or even 4 in the morning and I had to be up at 5:30, even when I'm getting dressed for work. I'm always willing, ready and waiting and all my girlfriends want to know why I get a proposal from the man I'm dating within the first 3 months of our relationship. My SO said he's had a lot of women but he has never had a woman who is always ready and never says no and because he is so masculine it makes him feel like "the man". He says I'm the first woman other than his ex-wife that he's been faithful to and he said he was only faithful to her because of the vows but with me it's because he gets everything he needs from me and doesn't have to look anywhere else for satisfaction and he's never met a woman like that. I've always been a pleaser. I just love going out of my way to please my man. He says I have him so spoiled that he just has to marry me. Also, he's never said no to me either and it's never a quickie with us its always 1-3 hours at any given time but I do remember him telling me when we first met that he didn't have a high sex drive and wasn't going to be lasting no 3 hours and doing it everyday and he was also taking enhancers but since he's been with me its been 3 hours 90% of the time and when we're home all day together its 3-4 times that day and its everyday with no enhancers!

*in awe that anyone would believe a man that said that*


Men will ask you to marry them in two weeks if they think you're worth it regardless of sex. I know b/c I got one from DH and he had not GOTTEN THE GOODS YET

And sadly...if a man wants to cheat, no amount of sex will stop them, you can swing from the celing with a maids outfit on and offering them h***d all day long and if they want to, they will still do it. Actually I think they would cheat on you *more* b/c they see you are desperate to do anything to keep them

 

[calliope]

*in awe that anyone would believe a man that said that*


Men will ask you to marry them in two weeks if they think you're worth it regardless of sex. I know b/c I got one from DH and he had not GOTTEN THE GOODS YET

And sadly...if a man wants to cheat, no amount of sex will stop them, you can swing from the celing with a maids outfit on and offering them h***d all day long and if they want to, they will still do it. Actually I think they would cheat on you *more* b/c they see you are desperate to do anything to keep them

Girl, I didn't want to be the one to have to say it- that and the fact that a man who looks for it while your seriously ill sounds pretty disrespectful.

I have a question for you ladies: doesn't sex (frequency/length/style) change after marriage or kids? Can what you're offering today really be on the plate 24/7 five years or 3 kids from now? If not, isn't that kind of like false advertising or does the man just learn to "roll with it." Not judging, just curious- mainly want to know what's in store for me with Baby # 1 on the way.

 

[LaRobinWolfe76]

Don't get me wrong ladies I'm a grown woman and I don't do anything I don't want to do. I have options and I exercise them. If I didn't want to do it I wouldn't have and if its something I don't want to engage in be it sex or anyhting else I just don't do it.So when I'm feeling bad it makes me feel better to be that close to the person that I love. I'm just a good woman all around and I know my worth. He's faithful to me because I please him and he's not the first man to tell me that nor is he the first man to propose to me in 3 months. I'm a bad chick and its not just about the sex its about me as a woman and how I choose to please my man. You may not do the things I do and I may not do the things that you do. To each its own. Everything isn't for everybody but don't try to lessen my value as a woman because I find more pleasure in the intimacy I share with my man than most.

 

[locabouthair]

Can you really be happy when someone is plugging you while you have a physical ache/pain/ailment? Seriously?

Are you ladies afraid he will cheat if you just say no? I can see not making it a habit, but what's wrong with no if your body is in pain?

I thought I was the only one thinking this.

 

[MissScarlett]

Girl, I didn't want to be the one to have to say it- that and the fact that a man who looks for it while your seriously ill sounds pretty disrespectful.

I have a question for you ladies: doesn't sex (frequency/length/style) change after marriage or kids? Can what you're offering today really be on the plate 24/7 five years or 3 kids from now? If not, isn't that kind of like false advertising or does the man just learn to "roll with it." Not judging, just curious- mainly want to know what's in store for me with Baby # 1 on the way.

ITA, very disrespectful.

Oh yeah it changes. Frequency, time...everything. You're both tired and both busy, when a new baby shows up, add sleep depravation and you're mostly focused on the baby obviously, sex can take a backseat....then after you reconnect after that baby, here comes another Then that baby becomes a toddler that randomly appears in your bed in the middle of the night, so yes sex becomes different.

Alot more 'meet me in the den' for a quickie or honestly yes sometimes less sex. And sometimes its what I tell dh when he's all in the mood..."I'm like look I got a zillion things to do, so its straight sex, no thrills, no frills if you want it now

Twice a month dh and I go and get a hotel room, its so fun and relaxing. I got that idea from Holly robinson, they do that. Its not even about sex, just a way to reconnect, kick back and just be together..alone.

 

[MissScarlett]

Don't get me wrong ladies I'm a grown woman and I don't do anything I don't want to do. I have options and I exercise them. If I didn't want to do it I wouldn't have and if its something I don't want to engage in be it sex or anyhting else I just don't do it.So when I'm feeling bad it makes me feel better to be that close to the person that I love. I'm just a good woman all around and I know my worth. He's faithful to me because I please him and he's not the first man to tell me that nor is he the first man to propose to me in 3 months. I'm a bad chick and its not just about the sex its about me as a woman and how I choose to please my man. You may not do the things I do and I may not do the things that you do. To each its own. Everything isn't for everybody but don't try to lessen my value as a woman because I find more pleasure in the intimacy I share with my man than most.

Go on whicha bad self

Do you think though that uhh men that aren't faithful were not being 'taken care of by a good woman' ????