softblackcotton
Well-Known Member
When I was 20 I really didn't think about it. Now that I'm about to turn 25, I really wouldn't mind getting married soon. But I'm not going to stress myself out about it until I'm about to be 30.
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How many of you are married or engaged with a specific date?
- Thread starter MrsHdrLe
- Start date
lonesomedove
Active Member
Yes, sure is! My first and his second.
lonesomedove
Active Member
softblackcotton
Well-Known Member
But if do not you get married until your late 30's-40's, given that you save yourself, what do you do about having children? I'm worried about not being able to have children, hypothetically, if I end up getting married past 40. I'm about to be 25 soon, extremely focused on career and school, but I feel my biologically clock ticking. HA! If that makes any sense...
PeanutButterandHoney
New Member
august 7 2010!
snillohsss
New Member
happily married for 13 yrs
MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
I thought about that, wanting children and all, but it seems that many women are ble to have children into thier early to mid 40 nowadays. If she healthy and does what's right by baby and herself, why not? On the other hand, a couple could always adopt. I don't think it's necessary for my blood to course through a child's veins in order for me to love him/her.
Magnolia85
Well-Known Member
Engaged with a date, March 13, 2010. Marriage Counseling starts first thing in Jan. 
HairGurl
New Member
Engaged with a date, March 13, 2010. Marriage Counseling starts first thing in Jan.
Good luck with your pre-marital counseling. We did the pmc and I'm soooooo glad we did. It really helps you out.
MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
Congrats to you Magnolia. We went through a three week session with a marriage counselor this year and it helped me "get a grip" and him learn to open up more, so that was a good thing. It wasn't as hard/traumatic/scary as I thought it would be based on what others say about it, so have fun getting to know your self and him at a whole new and deeper level. It's beautiful.
loolalooh
Well-Known Member
I'm unhappily single at the moment, but only because my ex and I broke up recently and it's the Holidays and I miss him. LOL. I'm gradually moving into the happily single realm because I'm learning that I could really use some me time right now. I almost didn't vote but eventually said go for it. I think what you said (the bolded) is very possible, but I don't want to speak for others.
DiamondDivyne
...
Hey ladies! I'm HAPPILY single. However, I DO plan on and hope that I will one day be married. I haven't met the right person yet. And in all honesty, up until recently - about a year - I hadn't had marriage in mind.
Good luck to all the ladies in life, love and the pursuit of it all! Happiness is a frame of mind...a decision, much like love.
Good luck to all the ladies in life, love and the pursuit of it all! Happiness is a frame of mind...a decision, much like love.
Radianthealth
Well-Known Member
I am happily married. The majority of my Black Female friends are married as well
Most of the women in my family that didn't get married have all been with lifetime partners since their teens. They had children and raised them in two parent households but never got married for whatever reason.
Most of the women in my family that didn't get married have all been with lifetime partners since their teens. They had children and raised them in two parent households but never got married for whatever reason.
ixoyegodisgood
New Member
I think that the key is to stay off the birth control. That is the biggest hindrance, in my opinion, to women not having children into their mid-late 40s. Look at the Duggard woman. She doesn't have one child that appears to be mentally delayed and she has had plenty for there to be at least one in the lot with a noticeable problem/delay. She stated that in her very early 20s it was difficult to get pregnant like she wanted because of being on the pill earlier in the marriage. Say what you want about this woman, but she is living proof that it is possible to have healthy children at any age.
Looking for ways to change that tho.
kismettt
Well-Known Member
i am single. i'm 19 & sometimes i feel out of place on this forum with so many women being determined to marry v soon (obv it is an age difference)
i eventually want to get married. & i think about marriage in every rlp (what will he be like as a husband? a father? etc) so i think "dating for marriage" is good & making sure to date men who want/will want to marry me is also important.
ideally, i want to marry at 27. but if i meet "the one" i will be willing to marry at 24. i want to be ready (career/academic goals obtained or in progress) & i expect the next 2- 4 yrs of my life to be full of changes (i graduate college this year & plan to go to grad school in the fall of 2012 or 13)
my current SO will graduate next year (he is a yr older but obv i'm a little ahead of most my age) & i/we are trying to figure out what our future holds
sidenote: (i feel awful for him b/c he is pretty sure he's going to have to go back to his manual labor job on the east coast for a while so he can help out his family, they are really struggling & he is worried about not finding a job that pays that kind of money post-grad)
i eventually want to get married. & i think about marriage in every rlp (what will he be like as a husband? a father? etc) so i think "dating for marriage" is good & making sure to date men who want/will want to marry me is also important.
ideally, i want to marry at 27. but if i meet "the one" i will be willing to marry at 24. i want to be ready (career/academic goals obtained or in progress) & i expect the next 2- 4 yrs of my life to be full of changes (i graduate college this year & plan to go to grad school in the fall of 2012 or 13)
my current SO will graduate next year (he is a yr older but obv i'm a little ahead of most my age) & i/we are trying to figure out what our future holds
sidenote: (i feel awful for him b/c he is pretty sure he's going to have to go back to his manual labor job on the east coast for a while so he can help out his family, they are really struggling & he is worried about not finding a job that pays that kind of money post-grad)
treybaby2005
Well-Known Member
Happily married 8 months 1-16-10!
MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
Thank you for sharing and opening up. It was probably hard to type this at first, but I appreaciate your candor.
I love your opitmism for the future though. 2010 Lucky in Love is my proclamation for your ight now. Come back and let me know.
You sound like a smart young chica. I wish I'd thought about the men I dated as husbands and father before I got involved. I have learned form the other ladies here that when you're ready to move in that direction, make your intentions known and clear right up front so you won't waste time with undeserving guys. (Oh to be young and smart...I wish..I wish)
PeanutButterandHoney
New Member
Question for the ladies?
How did you go about finding a marriage counselor?
Did one of your insurance partially cover?
What are some of the things discussed?
I want to go to marriage counseling and he kind of doesn't but will I'm going to mke sure it gets done, lol
Also, I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ANY PREACHER TO DO OUR COUNSELING, just a regular marriage and family therapists!
Tia
How did you go about finding a marriage counselor?
Did one of your insurance partially cover?
What are some of the things discussed?
I want to go to marriage counseling and he kind of doesn't but will I'm going to mke sure it gets done, lol
Also, I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ANY PREACHER TO DO OUR COUNSELING, just a regular marriage and family therapists!
Tia
)
MrsHdrLe
Well-Known Member
I found my marriage counselor through a therapist I had. We paid for the visits oop. Try a search trhough your health care provider if you don't already know of a therapist. Good Luck and it's a very good idea. Not full proof, but worth the time and money for peace of mind.
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