How many of you are married or engaged with a specific date?

Are you/Will you/Have you been married?

  • Yes. I am currently married

    Votes: 83 53.5%

  • Yes I'm engaged with a specific date in the next year

    Votes: 23 14.8%

  • I was/am married, but not with my husband

    Votes: 3 1.9%

  • No. Not yet

    Votes: 46 29.7%
  • Total voters
    155
  • Poll closed .
When I was 20 I really didn't think about it. Now that I'm about to turn 25, I really wouldn't mind getting married soon. But I'm not going to stress myself out about it until I'm about to be 30.
 
Last edited:
angiet1985 said:
Some would say that's too late, but I figure it's only too late when you're dead! Congratulations!
I'm engaged for a May 8th wedding (I didn't vote yet) and I'll be 38 this year. I guess God had a lot of work to do with me first! Oh well, it's gravy now.
Click to expand...

Definitely not too late for me.... right on time :yep: Congratulations!
 
But if do not you get married until your late 30's-40's, given that you save yourself, what do you do about having children? I'm worried about not being able to have children, hypothetically, if I end up getting married past 40. I'm about to be 25 soon, extremely focused on career and school, but I feel my biologically clock ticking. HA! If that makes any sense...
 
softblackcotton said:
But if do not you get married until your late 30's-40's, given that you save yourself, what do you do about having children? I'm worried about not being able to have children, hypothetically, if I end up getting married past 40. I'm about to be 25 soon, extremely focused on career and school, but I feel my biologically clock ticking. HA! If that makes any sense...
Click to expand...
I thought about that, wanting children and all, but it seems that many women are ble to have children into thier early to mid 40 nowadays. If she healthy and does what's right by baby and herself, why not? On the other hand, a couple could always adopt. I don't think it's necessary for my blood to course through a child's veins in order for me to love him/her.
 
Congrats to you Magnolia. We went through a three week session with a marriage counselor this year and it helped me "get a grip" and him learn to open up more, so that was a good thing. It wasn't as hard/traumatic/scary as I thought it would be based on what others say about it, so have fun getting to know your self and him at a whole new and deeper level. It's beautiful.
 
angiet1985 said:
Thanks Ladies. I can't tell if my little experiment worked or not b/c over 100 have veiwed, but less than 30 have voted. But looking at the poll, it seems there are more married women here than single/engaged. Now I wonder if those who didn't vote didn't b/c they are unhappily single. Does this mean that it's kinda like those threads where the happy people respond and the other suck their teeth and keep it moving. Which could be another thread (why do people "do this" as in join web groups/networks?)
Click to expand...

I'm unhappily single at the moment, but only because my ex and I broke up recently and it's the Holidays and I miss him. LOL. I'm gradually moving into the happily single realm because I'm learning that I could really use some me time right now. I almost didn't vote but eventually said go for it. I think what you said (the bolded) is very possible, but I don't want to speak for others.
 
Hey ladies! I'm HAPPILY single. However, I DO plan on and hope that I will one day be married. I haven't met the right person yet. And in all honesty, up until recently - about a year - I hadn't had marriage in mind.

Good luck to all the ladies in life, love and the pursuit of it all! Happiness is a frame of mind...a decision, much like love.
 
I am happily married. The majority of my Black Female friends are married as well :)

Most of the women in my family that didn't get married have all been with lifetime partners since their teens. They had children and raised them in two parent households but never got married for whatever reason.
 
softblackcotton said:
But if do not you get married until your late 30's-40's, given that you save yourself, what do you do about having children? I'm worried about not being able to have children, hypothetically, if I end up getting married past 40. I'm about to be 25 soon, extremely focused on career and school, but I feel my biologically clock ticking. HA! If that makes any sense...
Click to expand...

I think that the key is to stay off the birth control. That is the biggest hindrance, in my opinion, to women not having children into their mid-late 40s. Look at the Duggard woman. She doesn't have one child that appears to be mentally delayed and she has had plenty for there to be at least one in the lot with a noticeable problem/delay. She stated that in her very early 20s it was difficult to get pregnant like she wanted because of being on the pill earlier in the marriage. Say what you want about this woman, but she is living proof that it is possible to have healthy children at any age.
 
Happily married here :grin:


Most of my friends are unhappily single :( Looking for ways to change that tho.
 
i am single. i'm 19 & sometimes i feel out of place on this forum with so many women being determined to marry v soon (obv it is an age difference)

i eventually want to get married. & i think about marriage in every rlp (what will he be like as a husband? a father? etc) so i think "dating for marriage" is good & making sure to date men who want/will want to marry me is also important.

ideally, i want to marry at 27. but if i meet "the one" i will be willing to marry at 24. i want to be ready (career/academic goals obtained or in progress) & i expect the next 2- 4 yrs of my life to be full of changes (i graduate college this year & plan to go to grad school in the fall of 2012 or 13)

my current SO will graduate next year (he is a yr older but obv i'm a little ahead of most my age) & i/we are trying to figure out what our future holds

sidenote: (i feel awful for him b/c he is pretty sure he's going to have to go back to his manual labor job on the east coast for a while so he can help out his family, they are really struggling & he is worried about not finding a job that pays that kind of money post-grad)
 
loolalooh said:
I'm unhappily single at the moment, but only because my ex and I broke up recently and it's the Holidays and I miss him. LOL. I'm gradually moving into the happily single realm because I'm learning that I could really use some me time right now. I almost didn't vote but eventually said go for it. I think what you said (the bolded) is very possible, but I don't want to speak for others.
Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing and opening up. It was probably hard to type this at first, but I appreaciate your candor.
I love your opitmism for the future though. 2010 Lucky in Love is my proclamation for your ight now. Come back and let me know.:yep:

kismetxx said:
i am single. i'm 19 & sometimes i feel out of place on this forum with so many women being determined to marry v soon (obv it is an age difference)

i eventually want to get married. & i think about marriage in every rlp (what will he be like as a husband? a father? etc) so i think "dating for marriage" is good & making sure to date men who want/will want to marry me is also important.

ideally, i want to marry at 27. but if i meet "the one" i will be willing to marry at 24. i want to be ready (career/academic goals obtained or in progress) & i expect the next 2- 4 yrs of my life to be full of changes (i graduate college this year & plan to go to grad school in the fall of 2012 or 13)

my current SO will graduate next year (he is a yr older but obv i'm a little ahead of most my age) & i/we are trying to figure out what our future holds

sidenote: (i feel awful for him b/c he is pretty sure he's going to have to go back to his manual labor job on the east coast for a while so he can help out his family, they are really struggling & he is worried about not finding a job that pays that kind of money post-grad)
Click to expand...

You sound like a smart young chica. I wish I'd thought about the men I dated as husbands and father before I got involved. I have learned form the other ladies here that when you're ready to move in that direction, make your intentions known and clear right up front so you won't waste time with undeserving guys. (Oh to be young and smart...I wish..I wish):rolleyes:
 
Question for the ladies?
How did you go about finding a marriage counselor?
Did one of your insurance partially cover?

What are some of the things discussed?
I want to go to marriage counseling and he kind of doesn't but will I'm going to mke sure it gets done, lol

Also, I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ANY PREACHER TO DO OUR COUNSELING, just a regular marriage and family therapists!

Tia
 
Married with no drama checking in.

...and @ZEE - you'd find a marriage counselor same as any mental health counselor, check the specialty they list. I'm sure you could also check with the state board maybe. I'm not concrete on this but its a step.
 
Happily married (most of the time lol, because the pregnancy hormones make me wish I were single sometimes :look:)
 
I found my marriage counselor through a therapist I had. We paid for the visits oop. Try a search trhough your health care provider if you don't already know of a therapist. Good Luck and it's a very good idea. Not full proof, but worth the time and money for peace of mind.
 
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