Engaged Ladies-Are You Careful Not To Overshare With Single Friends?

[DMJ's Mom]

CCG I agree. If someone can't be happy about one of the most important days of your life are they really a friend? What's next, they stop taking your call because you are having a baby or get a better job?

I don't completely agree with this. One of my very close friends just found out she was pregnant and I cried because my son just passed away and was admittedly a smidge jealous. But now I'm happy and excited for her. Does that mean I'm not a real friend?

 

[Glib Gurl]

I don't completely agree with this. One of my very close friends just found out she was pregnant and I cried because my son just passed away and was admittedly a smidge jealous. But now I'm happy and excited for her. Does that mean I'm not a real friend?

I'm so sorry about your son. My condolences.

(((hugs)))

 

[foxee]

I wouldn't go on and on about wedding details with friends not even necessarily to prevent 'jealousy' but because I think doing so makes one a frightful bore. I don't want friends running away when they see my name in the caller ID, thinking "Uh-oh, here comes The Wedding Planner wanting to talk about her flower arrangements again. "

This reminds me of a hilariously funny Best of Craigslist post:

Warning: harsh language

Seriously? You're getting married? I hadn't heard

 

[YankeeCandle]

^^^^^ HAHAHAHAHAHA that was hilarious indeed! I especially loved the little details: 2.5 WASPY children.

 

[PapillionRouge]

When I got engaged I was careful not to talk everyone's head off about the wedding. It didn't do any good because I was still talked about. The lack of support my bridemaids showed hurt me deeply, but it was a learning experience. My maid of honor, someone I would have never pegged to be the jealous type, caught me by surprise. Never would I have dreamed that she would be as troublesome and unsupportive as she was. A year after I got married we talked on the phone and she admitted that she had a difficult time with me getting married because it made her look at some things in her own life and how some things may have turned out differently if she had done some of the things that I did. It was with that conversation that I began to understand what was going on with her, but it took another few years before I could totally make peace with everything that happened because I was so deeply hurt. She and I are no longer friends and haven't spoken in nearly four years. She is getting married in a few short weeks and despite the fact that we haven't spoken in a almost four years I plan to send her a gift. Not because I want to rekindle our friendship, but because I remember how difficult it was for her to see me and other people get married and I know how long she has waited for this moment. I want her to know that I am thinking of her and that I am genuinly happy for her.

Dont send that girl anything....

 

[ommns]

If my friend can not talk to me about her wedding plans, than who is she suppose to talk to? Before I was married I was happy for all of my friends that were getting married. I enjoyed the wedding talk, looking at dresses and shoes, discussing menus. It's all fun. It's not fair for your friend to be that excited about something and then not be able to talk about it.

I had a very small wedding so there wasn't alot of hoopla for me to discuss. But if we ever decide to renew our vows my friends will hear about it and so will ya'll! LOL!!

I agree with the bolded. It is such a wonderful, exciting time. I have helped several friends plan weddings. I was there from the wedding dress down to the makeup. I had no problem. In fact it made me feel soooo happy and wonderful that a friend was in LOVE and getting married. ANYBODY who is jealous and/or stops speaking to you because you are engaged and getting married, they are NOT your friend and I question whether they were ever your friend at all.

 

[Bmack]

To the OP--thank you for this thread! I've learned NOT to to overshare whatsoever when it comes to the planning. Its crazy because my friend and I always talked about how we would do all of the wedding planning together. Now that the time is here, she's been pretty clear that she's not happy for me. If I'm not getting questions about how much I plan on spending on a wedding, or why am I rushing into things, it's about how she expects that it won't last so I shouldn't have kids yet . I'm so over the whole thing.
QUOTE]

It sounds to me that she wants to hear details to shoot you down wtf? I myself had the questions of how much I was planning to spend on different things. One of my BM's sister had the nerve to try and go in on me about how I will have credit card bills to pay and all this other bullish, but I quickly let her know that we already finished paying everything off as we paid cash for everything!

 

[SW2011]

I try not to overshare with any of my friends (married or single). I think that when you're engaged, your life can become consumed with planning for your wedding and that's where oversharing comes in. So, I've planned to not be that person. I mean, I'm really excited about my wedding, and my friends all know that.

I do make a distinction in what I share with my friends, though. It's not based on marital status, it's just based on our relationship. One of my friends went through the same pre-marital counseling as I did, so I only shared that with her. Overall, my friends are all extremely happy for me and are happy when I'm happy.

 

[chicitygirl]

I don't completely agree with this. One of my very close friends just found out she was pregnant and I cried because my son just passed away and was admittedly a smidge jealous. But now I'm happy and excited for her. Does that mean I'm not a real friend?

I'm sorry to hear your son passed away. I can't imagine the pain you've gone through with that loss. But I think that situation is very different than someone being bitter about a friend's engagement. Losing a child would understandably make anyone emotional about babies. IMO, that a totally different emotional response than someone just hating due to their lack of a relationship with a man.

 

[Spiffy]

For this reason, I don't want a bridal party. I can honestly say I don't know anyone as of now that would do it graciously. One of my best friends was in her girlfriends wedding she knew way before me and there friendship almost ended because of her jealousy over her friends marriage.

I think no bridal party would be much less hassle, besides I don't want a lot of 'traditional' wedding features in my ceremony.

Has anyone here forgone the bridal party/groomsmen?

 

[Kalani]

For this reason, I don't want a bridal party. I can honestly say I don't know anyone as of now that would do it graciously. One of my best friends was in her girlfriends wedding she knew way before me and there friendship almost ended because of her jealousy over her friends marriage.

I think no bridal party would be much less hassle, besides I don't want a lot of 'traditional' wedding features in my ceremony.

Has anyone here forgone the bridal party/groomsmen?

I've thought the same thing.

I think you can tailor your wedding to however you'd like it to be. I realized that after seeing that youtube video of the couple that played "Forever" and danced down the isle instead of the tradional wedding march.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

dont have engaged friends right now, but I have one friend where her dude is ALL she talks about and its annoying. Its seems as if has no other interests besides talking about him, and it makes people not want to invite her places because we know somehow someway she'll twist the convo and turn it into something dealing with their relationship. If she gets engaged I can ONLY imagine The funny thing is she prob is never the highlight of her SO's conversation with his friends

I genuinely love to hear about someones upcoming nuptuals, but keep the convo and interaction balanced. The same can be said for women with babies too.